by Om Swami
The most important thing to remember about all the virtues is that they are not merely emotions, they are behavior. We don’t always have to feel compassionate or empathic to show those emotions. A good meditator inching towards divinity can adopt a behavior that shows compassion and empathy.
You don’t have to feel a certain way to act a certain way.
The reverse is more practical and effective; start acting a certain way and you’ll start feeling that way. Empathy is an act before it becomes an emotion. It is, however, not possible to develop a sense of empathy without being sensitive towards others around us. In fact, it’s hard to practice any virtue without having a degree of sensitivity. If you observe those who act most selfishly, often you’ll discover that it’s not that they are bad or ignoble, they just lack sensitivity.
A young student was taking a walk with a professor who was known for his kindness. As they went along, they saw a coat and a pair of old shoes lying in the path. These chattels belonged to a poor man who was employed in a field close by and had nearly finished his day’s work.
The student turned to the professor, and said: “Let us play a prank: we will hide his shoes and conceal ourselves behind those bushes. It will be fun to wait and see his perplexity when he can’t find them.”
“I don’t think we should amuse ourselves at the expense of the other person,” the professor replied. “Rather than hiding his shoes, let’s put a coin into each shoe instead, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how the discovery affects him.”
The student did so and they both went behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work and came across the field to the path where he had left his belongings. While putting on the coat he slipped his foot into one of the shoes but feeling something hard, pulled it out to check the shoe. Astonishment seized him when he found a coin in his shoe. He gazed upon the coin, turned it round, and examined it again and again. He looked around him on all sides, but nobody was to be seen.
Putting the money in his pocket, he proceeded to put on the other shoe only to go through the same fate. Completely overwhelmed, he fell upon his knees, looked up to the skies and said aloud a fervent thanksgiving in which he spoke of his sick and helpless wife and his children without bread, whom the timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would help him feed his family.
“Now,” said the professor, “are you not more pleased than if you had played your intended trick?”
“Thank you, professor,” the student said. “Today, I’ve understood what it really means when they say, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
You can’t be a giving person unless you develop sensitivity. You can give someone grief or you can give them joy, it all depends on how sensitive you are towards them, their lives, their needs. So often, we take the presence of others in our life for granted. We joke around, we make fun, we share laughter. All of which is okay but when we do so insensitively, we don’t just hurt them but we hurt our own existence too. The spiritual being in us takes a hit when we choose to be insensitive.
A good meditator is always mindful of his thoughts, actions and words. One of the most beautiful rewards of meditation is that it makes you more sensitive. It’s a natural by-product. You feel what others are feeling around you.
The more spiritual you are, the more sensitive you will be. Empathy, love, compassion and charity come naturally to a sensitive person. Sensitivity is knowing the difference between being emphatic and being empathic. As they say, resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.
Humility
Legend has it that the king of Kazakhstan sent his royal messenger to the emperor of India, Jalal ud-din Muhammad Akbar, with three profound questions. Akbar’s navaratna, nine jewels, were nine people of extraordinary talents. Known for his wit and wisdom, one of them was Birbal. The king wanted to hear the answers in person so, Birbal was seen off to deliver the same.
“Where does God live?” the king of Kazakhstan asked his first question.
Birbal demanded a glass of milk in response. As soon as he got it, he dipped his fingers in the glass and started rubbing them. “Hmm…” he said shaking his head. “There’s no butter in this milk.”
Everyone in the court laughed out loud, and then the king said, “You have to churn milk to get the cream. Further the cream must be churned to extract butter.”
“Exactly, Your Excellency,” Birbal said. “The butter is in the milk but we can’t see it. The milk has to undergo a certain process before we can taste butter. Similarly, God lives in all living beings but an individual has to purify himself to experience the presence of God. He has to churn his consciousness and erase his ignoble thoughts, feelings and desires to extract the divinity.”
“Very well,” said the king, pleased with the answer. “What does God eat?”
A hush fell over the court.
“Clearly, if God lives then he must eat something too,” he added. “Indeed, Your Majesty,” Birbal replied instantly. “God does eat. He feasts on the false pride us humans have. Our history bears a witness to this. Eventually everyone is brought to justice in the divine court of law. Anyone who seeks God has to offer Him his ego.”
“Beautiful!” exclaimed the king. “And, what does God do?” “To answer this question, you’ll have to come closer to me,”
Birbal said.
The king was taken aback at the instruction but curious to find the answer, he stepped down from his throne and went where Birbal was standing.
“I can only answer your question by sitting on your throne,” Birbal said bowing his head.
The courtiers frowned at the suggestion and nervous whispers ran through the court.
“So be it,” the king said. “I must find the answer.”
With utmost grace, Birbal climbed the regal staircase and sat on the throne, a place where no one other than the king had ever seated.
Resting his hands on the two diamond-studded armrests, Birbal spoke like an emperor, “This is what God does, O king! In an instant, an ordinary mortal like me, born in poor family, gets to be the king where, on the other hand, you, a born king, is dethroned with least resistance.”
“You’ve proven beyond doubt, Birbal, that the wittiest man on earth serves in Akbar’s court.”
The king rewarded him amply and Birbal was given a royal farewell.
With this story, I don’t mean to say that some ‘person’ is calling the shots up there. I leave that to your individual belief.
Every now and then, people ask me how to feel God’s presence in their lives. I tell them to be grateful for what all they have been blessed with because gratitude is the quickest antidote of negativity. When you are positive and grateful, everything in this world looks divine. But, how to experience the divinity on a more constant basis? I say practice compassion consciously. If you think it’s not easy, then I suppose, the only way out is to undergo self-purification. The more you purify yourself, the greater sensitivity you develop to perceive what normally lies outside human perception.
Leading a virtuous life and a regular practice of meditation can purify anyone. Adopting virtues are even more important than meditation or any religious practice. Having said that, meditation does strengthen your mind, it makes you more mindful, so that you can stand up to your principles in the face of temptations (and there will be many). But, ultimately, it’s humility that keeps us grounded and real.
Reflecting on Birbal’s answers, humility keeps us in touch with our source. Otherwise, ego raises its hood far too quickly. The venom ego spits is enough to blind even the most sane person in a matter of moments. The most potent antidote of false ego is humility.
Overcome with spiritual ecstasy, an archbishop approaches the altar in great rush. He gets dow
n on his knees and cries, “I’m nobody, Lord! I’m nobody! Nobody!”
The bishop in attendance sees the extraordinary humility and devotional sentiment of the archbishop. Overwhelmed with love for God, he too runs to the altar yelling, “Lord, I’m nobody! I’m nobody, Lord!”
It so happened that a janitor was mopping the floor nearby. He saw how two deeply religious people were one with God. He got goosebumps. Filled with piety and a fervent spirit, he drops his mop and also dashes to the altar, proclaiming, “I’m nobody! Oh Lord, hear me, I’m nobody! Nobody!”
The archbishop takes notice, turns to the bishop and says, “Look, who thinks he’s nobody!”
If our humility is false or pretentious like that of the archbishop and the bishop in the anecdote, it will only make us more egoistic. False humility fails all spiritual tests. There’s no room for exhibitionism and vanity on the divine path.
Guru Nanak differentiates most beautifully between false external humility versus true inner humility.
miṭhatunīvīnānakāguṇacaṃgiāīātatu.
sabhukonivaiāpakau para kaunivaina koi.
dharitārājūtolīainivaisugaurā hoi.
aparādhīdūṇānivai jo haṃtāmiragāhi.
sīsinivāiaikiāthīaijāridaikusudhejāhi.44
Sweetness and humility, O Nanak, are the essence of virtue and goodness.
Everyone bows down to himself; no one bows down to another.
When you weigh it on the scale, the heavier side is always lower.
The sinner, like the deer hunter, bows down twice as much.
But what can be achieved by bowing the head, when the heart is impure?
As you begin to shed your ego, you become humble naturally. A humble mind is a beautiful mind. It’s far more receptive to spiritual growth and attainment than an egoist mind, no matter how learned. The tree laden with fruits is always a bit bent. Not because of any burden but because it has something to offer. Humility of conduct and speech take you closer to your source.
The more you have to offer, the humbler you are naturally. In the same storm where mighty winds fallgiant trees, the humble blades of grass dance and sway unharmed.
Bertrand Russell once said, “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”45
Humility keeps us away from melancholy. It helps us realize that in the vast, grand and eternal play of nature, no one is indispensable or vitally significant. Each one of us is a pawn in the universal game of chess. You may capture the queen or checkmate the king, ultimately though, everything gets packed and goes inside the same box.
Faith
A man, worried and paranoid, asked his enlightened master if everything would be alright in the future. “I know I should have faith but I can’t get around to let go. I’m still worried. What if things don’t go the way they should? Negative thoughts render me unable to enjoy my life. What if God doesn’t take care of me?” he said to his master.
The master took a rosebud, gave it to the disciple, and said, “Your task is to unfold the bud keeping all the petals intact.”
The disciple carefully began opening the rosebud. Soon, however, he realized that it was not possible to unfold it without damaging the petals. “It’s not as simple as it looked. I’m sorry, but at least some petals will be damaged,” he said to his master.
In reply, the master took the rosebud from him and said:
It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God’s design,
But I cannot unfold the petals,
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
God opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God’s design,
Then how can I have the wisdom,
To unfold this life of mine?
So I’ll trust in God for leading,
each moment of my day.
I will look to God for His guidance,
each step of the way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only God knows.
I’ll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
How much can you plan, after all? And how much do you want to plan? Why do you want to keep everything in your hands? It’s tiring. Who took care of you when you were in the womb? Who fed you when you didn’t even know how to speak? Who provided for you when you were too young to earn your own living? If you examine, you’ll find there was always someone there, a medium Nature had already chosen for you. Sometimes letting go is simply reminding yourself that you’ve done whatever you could and now you must free yourself from the outcome or the worry.
Faith is designed to give you the confidence, the courage to lead your life with grace and conviction. It doesn’t mean we can just confess and be done with our bad karma, rather, we should have the strength to do the right karma at the first place. I don’t think God will manifest to pay off your mortgage, your loans – karmic or financial – or to help you shed or gain weight. We must take responsibility of our own lives.
We are the result of our desires, choices and pursuits. Faith, with all its paraphernalia and practices, is for inner strength and not to please an external God. I don’t want to please a heavenly being and beg for favors in this life or hereafter, instead, I would give this life my best shot and let Nature take its own course. After all, if I truly have faith, shouldn’t I know that God or Nature’s way is impartial?
A quote often attributed to Napoleon Bonaparte says, “When you fight, fight as if everything depends on you. And when you pray, pray as if everything depends on God.” This is faith in a nutshell.
Faith is supposed to complement, and not replace, our actions.
Ultimately, we are responsible for the choices we make.
Faith is the understanding that not everything is in my control. I’ll do everything in my reach to do whatever I can about things that are in my control and leave the rest in the hands of this vast universe. As Reinhold Niebuhr wrote in The Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
There were only two things that helped me walk the path of meditation even though I had no significant results for many years. The first was my determination. I wanted to be sure either way. I wanted to be sure if meditation was what all it had claimed out to be or it wasn’t; I didn’t want to quit midway. The second, and more important, it was faith that kept me going. A simple belief that effort never gets wasted. In one form or the other, the consequences of any action don’t perish. Nature registers every little karma. I had this faith that if I kept digging patiently, one day I would hit a source of pure water. I did. You will too if you keep going.
Physical and Environmental Hurdles
Can you learn swimming without ever jumping into a pool? I think not. If you are serious about swimming then you need a certain fitness in your body and access to a river or pool where you can put your learning to practice. Until you actually start swimming, you won’t know what swimming is about. To champion it, a bit of guidance, right fitness and right environment is necessary.
It’s no different when it comes to meditation.
Especially if you wish to master the concentrative meditation where good posture is a non-negotiable requirement, excellent physical shape is a must. Equally important is a conducive environment. As it is, it’s a hard task to quiet one’s mind. If there are external distractions or sounds at that, it will become nearly impossible to meditate.
Long before I went to the Himalayas f
or my intense meditation, I used to have noise-cancellation headphones and an iPod mini. I would put in my favourite music, slip on my headphones and just immerse myself in meditation. It was the best I could do to cut out any external disturbances as much as possible.
In the beginning stages of meditation, feel free to adopt whatever method works for you. Be it meditating in the dead of the night when it is quieter or simply focussing on music.
Eventually, as you intensify your practice, you’ll benefit much from parking yourself in a quiet spot which is safe, clean and conducive and meditate there. If you are serious about competing in the Olympics, you’ve got to practice in an Olympic-size pool. Physical hurdles are of two types: bodily and environmental.
All physical ailments and diseases represent bodily hurdles.
They could be in the form of obesity, stiffness, disability or any other limitations that prohibit the meditator from sitting still. In case a disability is permanent, a meditator may tread the path and perfect himself using other forms of meditation. Such a practitioner need not worry about concentrative meditation.
Any of the five systems of meditation can lead one to the dawning of the realization as long as one persists right till the end. Ailments such as asthma, flu, gastritis, sinusitis, headaches and epilepsy can be hurdles in concentrative and contemplative meditation. This body is a divine blessing. No sadhana is possible without a fit body. A sincere meditator takes good care of his body. The yogis are fastidious about diet and exercise because these two elements play the greatest part in maintaining physical fitness. A fit body is essential for a serious aspirant to face the rigours of meditation. It is no secret that when we exercise, even though we may feel a bit tired, we experience a certain freshness. No matter the nature of your meditation, a lethargic body adversely affects the quality of your meditation.
