Chapter 27 – Ferrin
Excitement bubbles in my stomach as I walk up the stairs to Oma’s front door with Lennon, Eleanor, and Sam. I’m overwhelmed with the sense of accomplishment, and my emotions are all over the place. Wetness pools in the corners of my eyes, and I swallow the lump in my throat, as I try to keep from letting the tears fall. I raise my hand to knock on the door, and Sam takes my other hand, squeezes it, and then lets it go. We step back before Helene opens the door. Her eyes light up when she sees Lennon and Eleanor standing next to me.
“Helene, this is Lennon and Eleanor,” I say, with a nod toward them.
“I’m very happy to meet you,” she says, stepping onto the porch and throwing her arms around Lennon.
Lennon’s eyes widen, and he stares at me with a surprised smile. Helene backs away from Lennon and then hugs Eleanor and me, too.
“This is Sam,” I say, breaking from our embrace.
She takes Sam into her arms, as well. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Turning and letting go of Sam, she gazes at Lennon. “I can’t believe you’re here. Thank you so much for finding him, Ferrin.”
“It was actually Sam’s doing,” I say, and smile in Sam’s direction.
“We both did it,” Sam says. “It’s great to meet you, too, Helene. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“My grandma and her sisters are almost here. I texted them a couple minutes ago. Auntie Oma is waiting in the living room.”
Helene opens the screen door, and we follow her inside. When I find Oma in the corner of the room, she’s wearing a gigantic smile. Grabbing Lennon’s hand, I walk over to Oma, grinning.
“Hi, Oma!” I say, and bend, taking her under one of my arms. “This is Lennon.”
I pull back from Oma, and she opens her arms wide for Lennon.
“Meir,” she says, and Lennon falls into her arms. “It’s so good to have you here, my boy. Bless you. Bless your heart.”
I can’t help it. I burst into tears. Beside me, Sam takes my hand again, and Helene grabs the other one. Oma grips tight onto Lennon, and when he backs away from her and kneels, she grips each of his cheeks. She strokes them with her thumbs and peers into his blue eyes, and tears stream from hers.
“I’m sorry I called you Meir, my boy,” Oma says. “I’ve waited a long time to meet you.”
“It’s okay,” Lennon says. “Meir is how you know me, and it’s my middle name. It’s great meeting you in person. I’ve been looking forward to this moment.”
“You have no idea how many years I prayed to find you,” Oma says.
“Oma,” Lennon says, “this is my wife, Eleanor.”
“Come, give me a hug,” Oma says.
Eleanor squeezes in between Oma and Lennon and hugs Oma. She takes a few steps back and stares at Oma and Lennon.
“Can you tell me more about my mother, Estherly?” Lennon asks.
Oma smiles. “Your mame loved you — and when she loved, she loved with everything she had. In the morning when she woke, your name was on her lips; when she prayed, your name was in her song; before she went to bed in the evening, your name was in her heart.
“Estherly was brave and strong. She’d do anything for the ones she loved, including sacrificing her own happiness. She was intelligent and determined. There were only two dreams that never came true for her: one was being free to love your father, Henry, and the other was reuniting with you, her only son. If you take away anything from being here with us, know that you always had a place in her heart.”
Wetness soaks Lennon’s cheeks as he places his hand over Oma’s, still resting on his face.
“You’re a handsome young man,” Oma says.
Lennon laughs. “I’m not exactly young.”
“Compared to me you are,” Oma says.
Everyone laughs.
“Here’s a chair for you,” Oma says, pointing to a chair next to her. “Get comfortable. I have so much to tell you. Helene, can you grab a chair for Eleanor, too, please?”
Helene gets another chair and sets it near Lennon.
Oma peers up and looks at me and Sam. “Is this the famous Sam?” she asks.
“It is,” I smile.
“Hello, Sam. I’ve also been waiting to meet you,” Oma says.
Sam takes a few short steps over to Oma and gives her a hug. “Hello, Oma. It’s so good to meet you in person.”
“I hear Ferrin finally snatched you up and that you’re officially a couple,” Oma says, grinning and eyes twinkling.
“She sure did,” Sam says.
“You hold tight to her, son. She’s a good woman,” Oma says.
Sam smiles and nods.
“Auntie Oma, Mom is here with grandma and her sisters,” Helene says, looking out the front bay window.
Lennon rises from his chair, adjusts his tie, and takes a deep breath. I imagine all this must be so overwhelming for him. I know though, that once he’s met everyone, they’ll welcome him, as they did me, and his nerves should be put to ease. Eleanor stands with him and links her arm with his. She rubs his arm with the tips of her fingers, and I admire their union.
Once through the door, Estherly’s three daughters don’t waste any time introducing themselves to their brother and bombarding him with affection.
With introductions out of the way and the family getting to know each other, Sam and I retreat to the backyard, where we find a beautiful garden.
“I wonder if Oma is still able to tend to this garden?” Sam asks.
“Helene brings her out here every afternoon for tea. When Oma and Estherly were reunited in the States, they planted this garden together. It means a lot to Oma that it’s kept up. Isn’t it spectacular?”
“We should plant one in my backyard to remind you of Estherly and Oma,” Sam says.
I smile and agree, noting that Sam said his backyard and not mine. A bright future with Sam runs through my mind. I wonder if we’ll move in together and which house. Either way, I wouldn’t care, as long as we’re together. Of course, my house is larger with plenty of room for starting a family.
Finding our way behind a pink rose bush, Sam takes me into his arms. “You did it, Fer. You reunited this family. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so big before. I’m proud of the woman you’ve become and all that you’ve done.”
“We did it. I can’t take the credit for this on my own.”
Pulling away, he folds my hair behind each of my ears, takes my chin between his thumb and index finger, and pulls me into another kiss.
When we part, we stare into each other’s eyes.
“Sam?” I ask.
“Yeah?”
“I think I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life.”
“What’s that?”
“This.”
He laughs. “I’m not sure kissing me is a career.”
“Not kissing, silly. This. Finding people for families that have lost them. Reuniting loved ones. I could start my own business that focuses on it. Can you imagine all the people we might be able to help?”
“We?” Sam asks.
“Would it be too much to ask you to be my partner?”
“No,” he says. “I’d be honored to be your partner, in more ways than one. I’m sure I can help out and still run my contracting business.”
“Then, let’s do it. Let’s start a business that helps others. I think we’ve proven we can do it. We could also hire a private investigator to help.”
Sam nods. “Sure beats you going back to a job like the one you had.”
“I’ve gotten so much fulfillment from this journey. I know we won’t always have outcomes like this, but if we could help even one more family, it would all be worth it.”
“When we get back to Seattle, we’ll research everything we need to do to start this. I think it’s a great idea.”
“Thank you,” I say.
I pull him to me and squeeze tight, kissing him. Our lips part, and Sam slides a hand around to t
he back of my neck. He stares in my eyes and my soul gets lost in his gaze.
“I love you.” He smiles.
My heart races. “I love you, too.”
Pulling me closer to his body, he presses his soft lips to mine once more and I could stay in his arms, locked in our embrace, for the rest of my life.
Grabbing my bag from near the front door, I pull out Estherly’s diaries and run a hand over the white one sitting on the top, outlining the roses with my finger. Part of me can’t believe that I’ve finished her story, and it’s now time to part with her words. A tear trickles down my cheek, and I hurry to wipe it away with my sleeve.
Clutching the diaries to my chest, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I remember the day I opened the first book for the first time and how Estherly’s words brought light into my darkness. How her strength shone through her words. How her love reached through the years and touched my heart. Her voice echoed through time and impacted my life.
Without ever meeting this soul, she’s made a lasting impression on who I am. She’s helped me realize dreams I never knew I had or thought I could accomplish. Her strength is part of me now and always. I will forever cherish her.
Opening my eyes, I find Sam standing in front of me, smiling and he nods. I assume, he’s telling me it’s time to say goodbye and return the diaries to Estherly’s family. With another deep intake of breath, I walk to the living room where everyone is busy getting to know Lennon and make my way to Oma. Her head is cocked to the side, and her eyes are closed. She hears me approach, and she opens her lids.
“Sweet girl, what do you have there?”
“Estherly’s diaries. We’ve finished them.”
Oma reaches out and takes one book at a time, placing them in her lap. “My sister’s story is a tragic, yet beautiful one, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes, indeed. I can’t thank you enough for letting me finish these.”
“I couldn’t let you start the story and tell you how it ended, now could I?”
“No. I completely understand why you wanted me to read it for myself.”
“I have some news for you,” I say.
Her eyebrows raise.
“Sam and I have decided we’re going to go to Germany and Poland. We want to retrace Estherly’s steps and visit the camps and Łódź. We’re going to go to Auschwitz.”
“I can’t say you’ll enjoy Auschwitz or the camps, but I think it’s admirable of you both to go there. There aren’t many survivors left. Schools aren’t teaching our history, and Estherly and I feared one day our stories would be forgotten.” She takes my hand. “Don’t let the memory die. Teach your children the truth of what happened. We have to remember all those souls who perished during the Holocaust. We must remember their bright, shining souls; we have to remember the stars.”
“I know that I, for one, won’t ever forget and I’ll make it my mission to bring awareness. I hope you take our trip to Germany as us honoring you.”
“I do, dear. I do.” After a moment passes, she says, “Ferrin, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“My sister would’ve been so pleased by all of this. Lennon is remarkable. We’re all so glad to have him in our lives now — him and his lovely wife, Eleanor. What you’ve given this family is worth more than all the money or valuables in this lifetime. What you’ve done has changed each person’s life in this room. Lennon has children and grandchildren we all hope to meet someday. Your kindness and determination have brought us an overabundance of love. You’ve also brought yourself and Sam into our lives, and we hope you’ll consider us your family now, too.
I search the small crowd for Lennon and Eleanor and find them sitting with Lennon’s three sisters, who seem to fight for their attention. “They’re really great.”
“They’re fitting right in with us, as you can see,” Oma says.
“I knew you’d all be very welcoming to them. He has so much to learn about Estherly and the rest of you.”
Oma takes my hand and brings her lips to it. “Thanks to you and Sam.”
My cheeks heat and her words tell me that I’ve made the right choice in starting the new business with Sam. I’ve finally found my destiny.
Chapter 28 – Lennon Meir
11 June 1995
Fifty years… I’ve been married to Oren for fifty years now. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that I’ve spent each day with him. My love for Oren is unlike anything I’ve ever felt, except for the immense affection I have for my children. Not a day goes by, no matter what he’s going through, where I don’t wake up to flowers on my nightstand.
At an early point in my life, I never thought I would love again, and then Oren Rose came into my life and turned my world upside down. Some find it hard to believe, but Oren and I have never had more than an argument. Many marriages are overrun with negativity, but not ours. Our bond is unlike any I have. I know that I can always count on him in any situation. We can depend on one another despite what life throws our way. Raising our girls together has fulfilled my dreams. Their father’s tenderness reflects in their actions and how they treat people. I praise many of his other traits that he’s passed down to them. While he doesn’t practice anymore, he cared for others, unselfishly, over the past fifty years, always putting people before himself.
As I sit here, writing in my diary for the first time in many, many years, it’s hard for me to articulate what he means to me. Oren is my entire life, and I’m his. There are no words that rightfully express what this feels like. All I know is when I think of the future, I know there will be ups and downs, but with Oren by my side, we can conquer the world. Oren gave me the life he promised and helped ease the pain of my past.
Although we haven’t found my Meir, Oren still, to this day, searches for him and longs to make my dream of being reunited with my son a reality.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I do not find myself lost in thought over Meir. I picture him living a glorious life, and it brings a smile to my face. A piece of my heart has always been set aside for him. Each time we come up empty-handed, it’s another blow to my soul, but I’ll never give up the hope that one day I’ll hold him in my arms again. I love my son, even though I don’t know him. I have loved him from the moment I first held him in my arms. I’ll love him with my entire heart until the day I take my last breath. I miss him so immensely that I can’t put into words how painful it is.
Today, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my life. As I danced with my husband at our celebration, I watched my daughters. I remembered things I’d forgotten — what some might think were insignificant moments in time but make up the whole of my story.
Even after the reception, once I was tucked in bed with Oren, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking of the past. Flashes of my mother’s smile and the courage behind her eyes filled my mind, along with the sound of my father’s incredible voice.
As I sit here writing, I think of Anika running through the field at our farm, giggling and calling me to come play with her.
Like a movie, I recall the day my dear brother was taken and cringe at the idea of what he must’ve gone through at the concentration camp.
I long to hold my departed family in my arms, but I thank God for blessing me with the family I can now cherish.
I wish that the Steins had someone to carry on their legacy, and I miss my friend, Mae. Through the years, while I’ve made wonderful, close friends, I’ve always longed for the bond that Mae and I shared.
I can’t think of one of those precious stars without remembering the others — which leads me to thoughts of Henry. My first love. The man who taught me how to love and be loved. The man who gave me my Meir. The man who risked his life for mine and our child’s. I know he would’ve been a wonderful husband and father. When I think of him now, I’m able to smile. I’m able to feel gratitude for the stolen moments we shared. But, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and had I not lost Henry, I never would’ve met Oren a
nd had my beautiful daughters.
Life is full of sacrifices and heartaches. It takes years to get over some of them. Others, like having to give up Meir, stay with you forever. However, I’d be a fool if I allowed all the bad things in my life determine how I ended up. Sometimes, I get angry when I think of how unfairly my people were treated. I’m sad when I think of all I’ve lost. But most days, I’m filled with love and joy, not only from the life I’ve been blessed with but also from all my experiences from my past.
I’m a survivor.
Clutching my mum’s diary and the translated pages to my chest, I glance at the garden she planted with my Auntie Oma years ago when they first came to America. A dragonfly lands on a large, pink rose and flaps its wings, bringing a smile to my face. I picture the two women in the lush garden, talking about their lives, their pasts, and their futures. I think of my mum escaping Łódź ghetto and taking refuge in the Polish forest, where she gave birth to me. She was remarkable. She paid the ultimate price when she gave me up but saved my life in doing so. Because of my mum, today I’m a proud father and grandfather. I have a wife who I adore and a life I’m thankful for. Without Estherly’s sacrifice, there’s no doubt in my mind that I would’ve perished all those years ago.
Although I never got to meet her face-to-face, she will forever have an impact on me. Reading her words helps me step back in time and live her life through them.
“I brought you some lemonade,” Ani says, as she takes a seat next to me. Looking down at the diary I still hold against my chest, she shoots me a soft smile. “Were you able to read all of them?”
“I finished them back in London but wanted to read the last entry again.”
“She loved you,” Ani says. “She talked about you all the time. She never gave up hope of finding you.”
Looking towards Ani, my other sisters follow and come to join us.
“What are you two doing out here?” Lila asks.
Lifting the diary, I say, “I came out here to see the garden you were telling me about and re-read my favorite entry from Mum’s diary.”
Remember the Stars Page 27
