Can You Say Awkward?
This can’t be happening……can it? You have really got to be kidding me. What did I do to deserve this? I am a good kid; at least I think I am. I will grant you it might not be 100% of the time, but can you show me anyone who is? I doubt it. Yes I sometimes have snarky thoughts about my classmates, but who hasn’t at one point or another? At least mine have remained thoughts, unlike some people (and I use that word loosely) I could name. I know I should just roll with the punches, but sometimes those punches hurt, even if I don’t let anyone else see that they do. Metaphorically speaking that is. I know I overdramatize sometimes, but it really was not fair what was done to me today. I had to show Jackson Willows where his first class was, because we just so happen to be in it together.
As if I wasn’t loathed enough already for being me………..
I kept my gaze on my desk as Jackson Willows got into the seat beside mine. I couldn’t actually see people looking at me, not with my gaze on my desk. However I could feel people gazing at me. I heard Jackson put his books on his desk and quickly flicked my eyes in his direction. He was facing forward, a bored expression on his face.
Oh so it looked like he was going to be one of them. It looked like he was going to be one of those students who had an I don’t care attitude. Great!!! Thanks for dashing my hopes, Mr. Willows. Who was I kidding? I didn’t know the kid, he had just gotten into the classroom for goodness sakes. Give the guy a chance, Shaylin.
(Yes, in case you were wondering I do talk to myself, quite often actually. Yes, pathetic I know. But hey that is what happens when you are a dweeb. You have to talk to someone even if it is yourself. Sadly, I think that my conversations with myself are probably more intelligent than some of the ones I could have with my classmates if we took the time to do so. But I digress yet again……)
We all sat in our seats as Mr. Kinoots made some announcements, then quieted down when the principal come on to make her announements over the PA. I could hear quiet giggling and a few murmuring voices even so. I was pretty sure that it was concerning Jackson Willows. My eyes flicked to the clock on the wall at the front of the classroom and I saw that soon homeroom would be over. I reached down to grab my backpack and pulled it onto the desk in front of me.
Once the bell rang I stood up and started to make my way to the front of the classroom. Normally I would wait till everyone else was out of the room, but today I just wanted to get out of there. As I got near Mr. Kinoots desk my eyes met his and I saw him open his mouth to speak.
“Shaylin, I would like you to show Jackson where his next class is. I saw that you both have first period biology with Ms. Stoner.” He said.
WHAAAAAA?
Not everyone heard Mr. Kinoots’ announcement, but the ones who did seemed to stop dead in their tracks. If the other students hadn’t been in the classroom yet you would have been able to hear a pin drop in the deafening silence that suddenly pervaded the room. I also stopped in my tracks and stood there frozen, even if only for a few seconds. I stared at the top of Mr. Kinoots desk for several seconds before it struck me that I was being rude. My back was toward Jackson Willows, like I was saying “You must walk behind me…I cannot be seen with you.”
I turned around and watched as he followed the last kid from his row toward the front of the room. I was aware of the murmurs of the kids who had heard Mr. Kinoots tell me to show Jackson to his next class. As he got closer to me I gave him a small nervous smile, in return he gave me half-hearted smirk. Inwardly I sighed and rolled my eyes, yet let it slide.
“So, Mr. Kinoots wants me to show you to your next class.” I told him.
“Yeah I heard.” he responded.
We stood there in awkward silence for a few moments before I turned away from him and started walking toward the door. So that is how it was going to be. Could he already tell I was a dweeb, an unpopular, and wanted to distance himself as much as possible? Without waiting I continued out the door and made a right hand turn and started walking down the hallway. I usually kept my gaze on the floor and tried not to meet anyone’s gaze, but right at that moment I was too irked to care. As I walked down the hall I could see some of the other students at their lockers, most of them just hanging out, not even getting anything from them. I saw the boys almost glaring at him, and the girls bring their hands up to cover their mouths. They were either gossiping about Jackson or they were gossiping about me. It wouldn’t be hard to tell if I looked closely. Those who had smiling eyes were talking about him, those whose eyebrows were beetled down over their eyes were talking about me.
We were about halfway to our next class when I felt him touch me arm. I didn’t stop walking but turned my head to see him walking beside me now.
“You know it would be easier to show me if you waited for me.” he pointed out.
“Well it isn’t like I am running a marathon and you had to catch up. I suspect if you already knew where you were going you would have been there already. Instead you are relegated to suffering my company.” I responded. Jackson Willows just stared at me in silence. Way to go Shaylin!!!! Way to make someone want to be your friend.
Well I did already warn you that I was a dweeb.
Diary of a Dweeb Page 3
