“Are you all right? You look a little pale.” She leaned in. “Maybe some caffeine will help.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, picking up my cup. Should I tell her I took more of the pills than was suggested? Tell her I was losing my grip on reality with every breath? I understood it didn’t matter if Winterland was real to me. It wasn’t real to this world, and that made me certifiably insane.
Tipping the coffee into my mouth, my nose picked up on it, but it was already too late, the hot liquid filling my mouth and gliding down my throat.
Peppermint.
“Ack!” I shook my head, struggling to swallow, tempted to spit it back out on the floor. The smell and taste lashed through me, dragging me back to another time. I got muddled glimpses of an older woman with red lips, cold blue eyes, and sleek chin-length white-blonde hair. Her arm was linked with Matt’s, which made no sense.
As fast as they came, the mental images slipped back into the darkness, leaving a residue of unrest and anxiety.
“What’s wrong?” Dr. Bell stared at me with concern.
“Nothing.” I looked again at the name on the cup. “They made a mistake. They made me a peppermint latte.” Though oddly, I could taste the crème brûlée as well. They probably mixed up and put both.
“You don’t like the flavor?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I despise it.”
“Really? It’s my favorite.”
“Well, I used to love it, but now…” I shivered, my head feeling extremely heavy.
“What made you stop liking it?”
“I—” I shifted in my chair, and something small and gray darted across the floor, catching my attention. Was that a mouse? But no one reacted, not a single person seemed to notice it in the middle of the café. I shook my head, and the creature was gone. “I don’t know. My whole family went from loving it to hating it.”
“Odd.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Your whole family at the same time?”
“Yeah.” I barely responded when something slightly bigger, another mouse, jumped onto the table next to me. This one was dressed in a red coat and top hat. “Dor?” I blinked.
“Run, Dinah!” His voice was full of panic. “It’s coming for you.” He motioned for me to follow, leaping off the table, scurrying across the floor and under a stroller.
“Oh, sugar cookies,” I whispered to myself, my insides flushing hot with terror. This couldn’t be happening to me. My heart thumped wildly in my chest, my legs bobbing anxiously.
“Dinah! Run!” Dor waved from under the stroller. On the handlebar sat Chip, his fingers moving frantically, his eyes wide.
The bulbs flickered above my head.
I could feel it, like fog rolling in. Terror climbed up my back, the feeling of being hunted in the shadows. My pulse pounded in my ears like a drum, my muscles frozen in fear.
The lights blinked out, and I drew in sharply as the room was plunged into murky darkness.
A low snarl vibrated in the air, and I felt something in back of me. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew it was coming for me. It only wanted me. I could feel a massive presence behind me along with the sounds of it grunting and huffing with fury, my heart walloping through my ribs. For some reason, I couldn’t force myself to turn around; my body wouldn’t let me.
A claw scraped up the back of my neck, and I let out a cracked sob, my lids squeezing tighter. I was going to die. This thing was going to gut and kill me right here.
It leaned in, and I could feel its hot breath against my neck, adrenaline racing through my blood. A deep, menacing growl throbbed against my throat. Everything in me lurched, including my legs, instinct taking over. Run, Dinah. Move!
Tearing forward, I stumbled over the table leg, my body crashing to the ground. With a cry, I tried to scramble back up. A hand wrapped around my ankle, yanking me back. A scream ripped from my lungs as I kicked and wailed against the hold.
“Dinah.” The name gurgled so deeply I barely could hear it call to me. “It’s time.”
“No!” I kicked back, my boot heel smashing into something, the hand then letting go as a faraway cry of pain played in my ear. I didn’t think about it as the need to escape pushed me up. I ran out the door and down the street. It was dark and murky, my fear slapping my boots along with the beats of my heart. I could hear my name being yelled from far behind me, sounding scared. I turned my head for a moment.
Whack.
“Ahhh!” My shins rammed into something, and I went flying over. I shut my lids, expecting to hit the ground, but the impact never came.
Peculiar.
My eyes opened as the air shifted around me, and I slowly padded down a familiar-but-alien terrain. Sorrow invaded my body with every move.
“Oh, fuck a nutcracker.”
Toys dotted the sky, floating and weaving, some instantly heading for me, seeking me out like zombies. Granted, I was glad not to be gutted and eaten, but this place made me wonder if that would be so bad.
The impact of devastating loneliness and hurt bent me over, my mind filling with their thoughts, with their stories.
“Dinah. Help me,” a voice called to me. I couldn’t tell if it was in my head, but I recognized something about it. Strange flashes of a stunning woman with blood-red lips tickled the back of my mind but dissipated quickly with more and more onslaught from the toys. Anguish pummeled down on me like a waterfall, pounding my identity into pieces.
“Dinah…come to me.” The sound of the voice had me moving forward, weaving through the broken toys and lost pieces of games.
Locking myself against them, I barreled through. My lone drive was to follow the voice. It needed me. I could feel the pull—a string reeling me in. Crossing the invisible boundary where the toys lined up but did not follow, a shiver went over my skin. More feelings engulfed me, complex and heavy. The lights flickered around me, pulsing and grouping together, trying to block the path. The orbs danced around me like a puff of smoke or when you caught dust in a certain light.
They were trying to communicate with me. They didn’t want me to go forward. I could feel it down to my bones.
“Free me.” The voice pulled me past the orbs. They followed me, buzzing louder, sounding like a swarm of honeybees.
A black box lay below the tree, roots wound tightly around it like a greedy child holding on to its favorite toy. My gut prickled, a warning stabbing the back of my neck, but I couldn’t seem to stop. Lowering to the ground, my hands shook.
“Yes. Dinah. This is your destiny. Don’t you feel it? The power inside you?” The woman’s voice coiled around me. And strangely, I did feel something deep down I kept locked up. “You have been part of this story way before her. The only one who has the ability to alter what she did. Help me, Dinah.”
My finger reached out, brushing over one of the roots grown over the box. The buzzing of orbs hissed and moved frantically, while voices hummed in the distance. I couldn’t quite make out their words, but my heart started to pound. Pain slashed through my head, my vision going blurry for a moment. I curled over with a cry.
“No! Dinah. Open the box. Free me,” the woman hissed as I felt myself drift, the voices above me growing louder.
“Dinah, can you hear me?” A man’s voice reached me, one I felt I had heard before. It was so comforting, trying to pull me from the cold darkness. “What did you take? Can you tell me?”
Take?
“Her heartbeat is at 100 BPM.” A woman spoke almost over him. “Miss, I need you to open your eyes. Tell me what drugs you took.”
“Dinah, can you wake up for me?” The deep, soothing sound of his voice stirred me, dragging me to it without my control. “Tell her what you took?”
“Dinah! No!” I heard the voice from the box scream for me, but I could not stop, the darkness opening to the glaring light, making me flinch.
Blinding white ceilings dotted with lights zoomed overhead. I felt nauseous, the walls racing by me. Wheels squeaked, and soft shoes pattered on the tile
. Confusion and fear gripped me, but exhaustion weighed down my lids. Unknown faces peered over me. A woman pushed me. There was another woman on my left, and they were both in blue scrubs. Nurses? But the male nurse next to me was in dark clothes. His body was corded and stocky, but he was gorgeous, his bright amber eyes pulling me to him like a bug to a light. He was stunning with his dark skin and dramatic cheekbones.
“Miss, can you tell me your name?” The woman to my left jogged next to me, but I continued to stare at him.
The man leaned over to me with a warm smile and perfect complexion. I wanted to touch him. He made me feel safe. Comfortable. Awed. “Can you tell her your name?”
“D-din-ah,” I muttered, but it trickled from my lips like water. He leaned his ear closer, and I swore I could smell vanilla cookies. “D-dd-in-ah.” I tried again.
“Dinah.” His hand covered mine. “Stay awake for her. For me? Can you do that?”
“Hmm-hmm.” I tried to nod as darkness pawed at me, calling me to return to the peace and comfort.
“Come on, Dinah. You promised me. Stay awake.” He squeezed my hand, but all it did was calm my racing heart and let me give way to the serenity of nothing.
Chapter 16
Voices, beeps, and hisses of air poked at my consciousness like an annoying sibling, dragging me back to the world.
“Carroll, calm down. The doctor said she will be fine.” I knew the tone of my father’s voice, and it made me pry my lashes apart, my blurry gaze taking in the room around me. My brain quickly recognized it was a hospital room. White, eggshell, off white…all the shades that made the room sterile and unfriendly covered the walls and bed.
What the fuck happened?
“I can’t believe this is happening again, Lewis.” My mother’s hoarse whisper drew my eyes to the figures standing right at the doorway. “To both our babies? I can’t go through this again. Haven’t we gone through enough?”
My father rubbed her back, not answering as my mother paced in a tight circle.
“What happened with Alice almost killed me…but Dinah? I cannot survive her too.” My mother’s voice pitched. “This shouldn’t happen to her of all people.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“I know, but Dinah is so levelheaded and logical.” Sobs came from my mother, her shoulders shaking, pain ripping through my heart. “My god, Lewis, they said she was attacking people trying to help her in the café. She was screaming and yelling about some monster. It’s like Alice all over again.”
“I know, my love.” My father gathered her in his arms. “I can’t believe it either.”
“What do we do?” She cried into his shoulder.
“We be there for her,” Dad replied, letting go. “We stay strong.”
Mom blinked rapidly, nodding her head, her expression pure agony.
“We don’t tell Alice.” Mom inhaled. I recognized her “decision making” face.
“What?” Dad stepped back.
“Not yet.” Mom held up her hand. “Let’s first see what’s going on.”
“Carroll…”
“Alice has scarcely recovered. She’s happy and healthy right now. Her life with Matt is good. I don’t want anything that might trigger her or cause her to relapse. Not until we know for sure.”
“Yeah.” Dad rubbed at his head, the silver in his caramel-colored hair catching the light. “You’re right.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Liddell?” A woman in a white doctor’s coat walked up to them. “I’m Dr. Avery. I have the test results back for Dinah.” She flipped a page on her clipboard. “So, everything came back relatively normal. No alcohol or hard drugs found in her system. Though we did find strange traces of psilocybin, but nothing that should cause a reaction like she had.”
“Psilocybin?” My mom shook her head in disbelief. “Like in mushrooms?” Her mouth dropped open. “My daughter does not take psychedelic drugs. No way. Not Dinah.”
“Carroll.” My dad put a hand on her arm. “What do you mean by strange, Doctor?”
The woman shook her head, her lips pinching. “We ran several tests at once, and they all came back different. The psilocybin evaporated at a rapid rate from the same sample, which isn’t possible. In all my years, I have never encountered anything close to it.” She drew the clipboard into her chest. “But I think we need to address the other cause for Dinah’s incident. I’ve taken a look at your family history and see your eldest daughter has also suffered from mental health problems.”
“She’s healthy now,” Mom shot in. “Totally fine. So happy and has a successful business in the city.”
“Carroll,” Dad warned again. “Stop.”
My mom bowed her head, her teeth biting at her lips like she was struggling not to cry. She was still trying so hard to show we weren’t a family of crazies.
“I highly suggest you find help for Dinah. Possibly get Dinah on proper medication. Jump on this now before it gets worse.” The doctor handed them a card. “Contact me if you have any questions. I’d like to keep Dinah a little longer to monitor her.”
“Yes, thank you, Dr. Avery.” My parents thanked her as she left.
“I better call Scott.” Dad reached for his phone, wiping a tear running down his face, his voice choked. “He will be worried about her.”
At his statement, Mom broke down. They grabbed each other, hugging and crying—shredding my heart into pieces. I hated I was doing this to them. That my mind had to fail me too, and in the process, hurt my family all over again.
Feeling groggy, sleep claimed me again, taking me away from the pain.
After drifting in and out, I woke again to a nurse next to my bed, checking the monitors. Scott was sleeping in a chair next to my bed.
“I know you.” My dry throat cracked over my words.
The nurse looked down at me and smiled. “You’re awake.” She grabbed a cup next to my bed, handing me some water to drink. “I’m actually surprised you remember me. I helped bring you in.”
I dipped my head, now recalling why she was familiar. “Yeah. It’s hazy, but I remember. Also the other nurse…the man with the beautiful amber eyes.”
Her forehead wrinkled, her brows crunching down over her brown eyes. “Male nurse?”
“Yeah. His voice was so soothing.”
“Sweetie…” She tilted her head at me. “There was no male nurse there. Just me and Cora.”
A fluttering of fear dribbled in my lungs as I took a sip of my water. I saw him. Felt his touch. Smelled him. He said my name. He felt more real to me than she had. His face was sharp in my head.
“Oh.” I gulped down roughly. “I must have been dreaming.” Though I knew I hadn’t been. I remembered her there. I even remembered the nurse, Cora, pushing me, but he was a shining star I locked on to, keeping me safe.
“Your vitals look good. The doctor will probably release you soon.” She flicked her chin to the sleeping form in the chair. “Plus, he’s been snoring and waking up the lady in 23B.”
I laughed as she took back the cup, putting it on the table. She gave my arm a squeeze before leaving.
The moment she was gone humor dropped from my face. The man hadn’t been real? Nor the monster attacking me at the café? Or the place of toys? Chip? Dor?
All the hallucinations were vivid, tangible, but reality was a hazy dream. I couldn’t remember much about being in the café. I must have been alone, right? Why I couldn’t remember. What had triggered me? Did I suddenly snap?
The one person I knew who would understand what I was going through was the last person I could talk to. Mom and Dad didn’t want Alice to know, and I was also afraid this might trigger her again. I couldn’t have that on my conscience too. She was so happy now. This would bring back so much pain and darkness. Not now. Not until I knew more about my condition.
I needed to make another appointment with Dr. Bell. At her name, a glimpse of her sitting across from me at the café skimmed my thoughts but vanished just as fast. Dr. Bell h
adn’t been there, right?
No. Why would she be?
I shook my head. Probably more hallucinations. It was getting to the point I couldn’t trust anything—what I saw, touched, or remembered. What was fake? What was real?
Was Frost? Blaze?
I was drowning in that blot of mustard.
“There’s a step,” Scott called out as we headed into our apartment building, his hand timid on my back, the other holding my bag. He had been treating me like a thin piece of glass since we left the hospital, which took longer than I wanted with my parents hovering. Everyone was uncomfortable and stiff, not knowing what to say or do. Mom had started to talk, but I saw Dad shake his head.
“Let her rest tonight, Carroll,” I overheard him whispering to her. “We can talk tomorrow.”
So instead of addressing the giant bomb in the room, we all chose to ignore it, and we knew we were all avoiding it, adding to the awkward tension ticking loudly in the space.
Scott was being particularly odd, not talking to me the entire car ride home except asking if I was warm enough, while the heat was blasting the skin off my bones. I had no idea how much he was told, but apparently it was enough to rattle him. He hadn’t reacted well after he saw firsthand Alice freak out in my bedroom watching Gremlins two years ago. It really scared him, and though he acted normal around her, I knew it still bothered him, not understanding why her brain couldn’t tell the difference between real and fake. How she could act normal one moment and then the next see stuff that wasn’t there.
“Door’s right there.” He pointed to our apartment.
“Yes, Scott. I know where we live.” He was trying to be considerate, overly so, and it was pissing me off. I couldn’t help the spite rushing off my tongue, irritation riding over my shoulders. “Crazy doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly become stupid or have amnesia.”
“Di…” His tone was full of annoyance as he unlocked the door.
“What?” I marched past him into our dinky flat. “Can’t joke about your girlfriend being a looney tune?”
Beauty In Her Madness (Winterland Tale Book 3) Page 14
