I watched him banter and tease with his friends, his face open and laughing. No. Scott wasn’t that way. He could never be malicious. It was not who he was.
Just a coincidence, Dinah. He forgot.
“We all ready? Ubers are waiting downstairs for us.” Leanne wiggled her phone, stepping past the guys to grab her coat and bag, her tiny figure on display in the dress. Scott tracked her, his face expressionless, but his eyes watched her, almost as if he were unaware he was doing it. Until he felt me staring. He snapped away from her, a smile forming on his face as he rubbed my back, grabbing my coat and helping me into it.
“You good?” he whispered in my ear, which I knew meant, Are you medicated and going to be stable in front of my co-workers and boss?
I nodded, following the others out of the apartment.
I was far from all right. But tonight I would fake it and be the best girlfriend and support Scott could ever ask for.
Tonight I would be the sane Dinah.
“Have a holly jolly Christmas…” Music sang out in the rented banquet hall as we stepped in from the chilly night, leaving our jackets at coat check. The heated air stung my skin as my eyes took in the figures talking, laughing, dancing, and moving around the decorated room. White lights dripped off the ceiling beams, lining the doorways and windows. Bows and stockings, along with dreidels and menorahs, covered tables and walls. A huge Christmas tree with fake presents was in the corner overlooking the Connecticut River. The room sparkled in lights and warmth.
Scott’s company went all out for their holiday party, renting the Glastonbury Boathouse, with free drinks and food for their employees, management, and families to show their gratitude. Like this would make up for paying them minimal wages the rest of the year.
Scott told me they gave out employee awards and honors later in the evening. I knew he was hoping to receive one because of all the extra hours and energy he had put in during the last six months since being hired.
“Open bar!” Marc cheered, already bouncing off toward it, diving through the throng of people, David and Leanne right on his tail.
Scott’s hand closed on mine, his head turning to me. “You sure you’re okay?”
I could feel his anxiety blooming off him, his shoulders tense. “Yes.” I nodded, sounding far surer than I felt. “I’m fine.”
“I really, really want to impress my boss tonight.” He brought my hands up between us. “It’s so much more money. It could help us so much. Plus, the job is totally something I want to do.”
“I know.” I squeezed his hands. “I have your back. I will make sure he leaves tonight having you at the forefront of his mind.”
Scott exhaled, nodding his head. “Okay.” He shook off the sour mood. “Let’s go get a drink and have fun.” Threading his hand through mine, he directed us through the mass of people, heading toward the free drinks.
Scott quickly found his buddies lined at the bar, their energy tonight on high, booming with extra testosterone, pounding back shots and whooping loudly. Legally, some of us shouldn’t be drinking, but I thought this was an “it’s Christmas and we’ll look away” situation as Scott shoved what looked like a glass of plain soda in my hand. The Jack and cola burned down my throat and made my head feel lighter, easing the tension in my muscles. The room had grown so hot the cold drink tasted good going down. Too good.
“Damn, Di.” He waved at the bartender for another round. “That was a double.”
Grasping my second, I took another sip, another block of tension sliding off my shoulders.
“There he is. That’s my boss, Doug Evans,” Scott hissed in my ear, his head flicking toward the man in the center of the room surrounded by a group of people. His wife stood by his side, talking amenably to another woman. Doug was pretty average, nothing that stood out. In his forties, he had brown eyes and short brown hair, which looked to be balding slightly. He was nearly six feet, wearing a gray suit with a red tie, his expression and aura not exactly inviting or warm. “I want to talk to him now.”
“You should.” I motioned for him to go. “I can stay here.”
“Why would you stay here?” His hand pushed my back. “I want to introduce you.”
A flutter of nerves brushed through the slight buzz I had, coercing me to take another long pull of my drink. You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay, I chanted to myself as we made our way across the room, forcing a smile onto my lips. Be sane, Dinah. The perfect rational girlfriend.
“Mr. Evans,” Scott greeted him, his hand reaching out.
“Scott, good to see you.” Mr. Evans shook his hand, his tone flat compared to his words.
“Same, sir.” I knew Scott long enough to know his voice changed a little when he was nervous and in awe of someone. “I’d like to introduce my girlfriend, Dinah.” He gestured to me.
“Dinah.” Doug’s eyes fell on me with a touch of shock, as if he weren’t expecting someone like me. His frame shifted, his shoulders pushing out wider and bigger. Taking my hand, his scrutiny flared like wildfire over me. “It is nice to meet you.”
My instinct was to yank my hand away. His slimy and aggressive overtone slithered up my arm, covering my skin.
“Scott has been with us for six months, and I just now meet you?” He squeezed my hand before I forced him to let go, pulling my hand back to my side, a fake smile on my lips. “We must remedy that.”
My attention darted to his wife, who was still was in full conversation with someone else, not looking like she cared who her husband was speaking to.
“That would be great, sir.” Scott nodded his head feverishly. “Maybe we can all go to dinner sometime.”
Doug’s glanced from Scott to me, his intention clear. “We must.”
My stomach twisted, the alcohol starting to flood my bloodstream, reaching my brain. This man was fully hitting on me, and his wife didn’t care and my boyfriend was clueless.
“I was actually hoping to talk to you about the position coming up.” Scott’s voice tightened.
Doug’s eyebrows shot up, his focus finally breaking from me. “It’s a senior tech position.”
“I know, sir, but I think I would do an excellent job.”
Doug’s expression was full of doubt. I could feel the letdown about to come from his mouth.
“Scott would be amazing,” I inserted, drawing his heavy look onto me. “He works so hard. And learns faster than anyone I know. You’ve had to see how much extra time he’s put in. No one will work harder for you.”
Doug shifted on his feet, his eyes never leaving me. “No one?”
Panic thumped at my lungs. The temperature in the room was heating up to a boil, the two double drinks swimming in my veins. Crap! Was I even supposed to drink while taking the medication?
A slow smile curved on Doug’s face, and he snapped back to Scott. “Well, your stunning girlfriend has given me pause. Maybe I will rethink my previous choice.”
“Really?” Scott’s eyes widened.
“Yes.” Doug’s eyes traced over me. “She’s quite convincing.” He dropped his empty glass on a nearby table. “Grab us some drinks, and we can talk more about it.” He nodded at Scott.
“Yes. Yes, of course!” Scott’s enthusiasm shot up, almost bouncing him on his toes. “What would you like, sir?”
“Dewar’s on the rocks.”
“Okay. Dinah and I will be right back.”
“Oh, I would enjoy talking to her more one-on-one, if it is all right. Get more insight into you.”
My glare shot to Scott, and expression of don’t you dare leave me alone with him shooting from my eyes.
“Of course.” Scott smiled happily, totally missing my panic, disappearing into the crowd.
“Dinah.” Doug stepped away from his wife, who didn’t seem to notice he was even in the room. “The way you speak of your boyfriend is admirable.”
“Admirable?” My brows furrowed. “Why wouldn’t I speak of him like I do? He is amazing. And I think he is beyon
d qualified for the position.”
His focus wandered heavily over me again, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip.
“It’s crystal clear that he loves you, and you respect him a lot.”
My shoulders jolted back, stiffening as he leaned into me, his mouth close to my ear.
“Like your sister, you are full of muchness. Your passion is far too great for him…or this world.” His tone sounded strange, while his sentiment felt like an ice pick piercing my chest.
“What?” I stepped back from him, fear tapping the back of my neck.
He watched me, and his smile curled, almost looking like a coal mouth.
“Duuuudddee…it’s a party!” Two small figures darted by me, jerking my attention to them. Panic pounded in my throat, my eyes taking them in.
Oh. Please. No.
“Bro, I love a party!” exclaimed Jangle, the skinnier blond one, pointing at the food table. “All the sugar we can eat.”
Oh. No. Oh. No…not now!
My throat tightened as I watched them dart around people, crashing into one of the tables, sending a plate of cookies to the floor.
I turned my head away from them, my hand rubbing my temples. They are not real. They are not real.
“Dinah?” Doug’s voice snapped me up to him, but it was what I saw past him that claimed all my attention.
Quin stood on the bar, flipping bottles and pouring drinks. “Hey, wahine! Come on over. I’m making my famous cranberry coladas.”
“They are ah-mazing!” Dor popped out of one of the glasses, swimming in the liquor. “I feel all light and happy, like a twinkling star. Twinkle, twinkle…” Hiccup. “Littttllleee stttarrr…”
“Oh god,” I muttered, shutting my eyes. Come on, Dinah, get it together. They. Aren’t. Real!
The sound of plates breaking whirled me back toward the food. Half the dishes covered the floor, but a tiny mouse stood on a chunk of cheese, the plates shattered across the floor around him. Chip’s huge eyes looked guilty as he shoved the cheese in his mouth, ballooning the side of his cheek, his fingers signing, “Oops.”
The room spun, my fears pounding in my chest. It felt like every eye burned into my skin, as if they knew this was linked to me.
The crushing of cardboard had me once again leaping to another point in the room, a roar filling the air.
“Oh, holy hell…” I breathed out.
In the corner next to the Christmas tree and karaoke area, a polar bear the size of an SUV bounced around, trying to get a box off his leg. “Dor, help! Get it off me! It’s attacking me! I’m gonna die!” PB’s ass rammed into the twenty-foot Christmas tree, tipping it.
“Shit stockings! Move!” My body reacted, running to the tree, waving for people nearby to move. But it was too late. The tree sliced through the air, smashing into the karaoke stage, crushing all the equipment to the floor. The lights flickered overhead and went out, leaving the room in shadowy darkness. People screamed, trying to get out of the way as ornaments hit the floor, exploding like bombs, the tree striking the ground with a vibrating thud, shooting out more decorations.
Dropping to the floor, I covered my head as glass and plastic volleyed through the air like bullets.
The fearful screams howled in my ears until everything went silent.
Unnaturally silent.
A chill ran up my spine, and I lifted my head slowly, my eyes opening to the murky room. The only light was the moonlight streaming through the glass windows. My gut folded around itself, strangling the air from my lungs.
No. It’s all in my head. This is not real, Dinah. You have the power to make it go away. But no matter how many times I said it to myself, trying to anchor myself to reality, pinching myself until I felt pain, there was nothing more real to me. The knot deep in my stomach, the itching at the back of my mind, suggested all of it was only my truth.
A low growl penetrated the space around me. My muscles froze, knowing it was here for me. My eyes watered with fear. My breath felt stilted, blowing out in puffs of condensation as its presence came behind me, its eyes burning into my spine.
Footsteps vibrated the ground, wafts of air drawing heavily through its nose, blowing hot air down my spine, prickling the hairs on my neck. Its huge mass hovered over me, but I couldn’t seem to turn around and look at it. To face it.
A snarl rattled against my face as its face came next to my ear, forcing a cry to claw at the back of my throat, its breath heating my skin. My lids pinched together, my heart thumping wildly in my chest, my body trembling. Long, clawed hands wrapped around my neck, and a whimper escaped my lips. Terror engulfed me, drowning and seizing me in its grasp. My head swirled with fear. Another snarl snapped at my ear, sounding like my name.
“Dinnnnaahhhh,” it hissed. I grunted as nails dug into my throat until I felt blood trickle down my neck. The tip of a tongue licked my earlobe.
A cry huffed from my chest, knowing this was the end. This monster was going to kill me this time.
“Dinah!” A voice bolted my eyes open, and I saw Dor a few yards away, Chip next to him signing madly at me. A roar from a bear pelted the room, jerking the monster back, its grip loosening. “Run now!”
With it distracted, I took the opportunity. Yanking away, I scrambled forward, heading for Dor and Chip. Things crashed and shattered behind me as I ran.
A growl throbbed the space, and I knew it was coming back for me. I still couldn’t look back at it, as if I were blocked from actually seeing it. Booming steps hurried on my heels, my pulse pounding in my ears, bile burning my throat.
“Dor, Chip, go! Get away!” But they didn’t move, causing more panic to spread across my chest.
Then nails scraped my back, tangling in my hair.
Noooo!
“Dinah!” I heard my name shouted before I fell over my friends, protecting them from the beast. I braced for the blow, to feel claws shred into my skin, bursting me open like a pinata. I curled tighter around my friends, a terrified sob hiccupping up my throat, my lids squeezing shut—waiting.
And waiting.
But it never came.
“Dinah!” My name once again sliced through the air, and I forced my lids open.
Warm light streamed in through the fortress I built with my arms and body, my chest heaving as I realized I was all right. The monster hadn’t attacked me. Peering down, the space was empty. Dor and Chip were gone. My head jerked back, my thoughts thick like creamed soup, struggling to make sense.
Where did they go? What was happening?
I could feel eyes on me—a lot of them. Twisting my head, a gasp hitched my lungs. The room was filled with faces, all staring at me, their expressions lined with fear, horror, and disbelief. Some even held pity.
I struggled to swallow, my gaze moving over the room. It looked as if a tornado had come through. The food tables were knocked over, the contents scattered everywhere. The Christmas tree lay near me, the ground covered with debris. Equipment from the karaoke machine was in pieces. The sound of children crying was the only noise in the building.
My chest heaved with anxiety as my eyes found Scott standing back, looking like he was afraid of me. His body was stiff, his red face was set tightly, his hands up as though I were some wild animal.
Fear, shame, condemnation, and anger.
Oh god… I blinked, taking in the room. What did I do? The way they all gawked at me, I knew I had been the one to cause this. Not only did I demolish the room, the party, but everyone saw me go insane—Scott’s co-workers, friends, his boss. There was no explaining this away. No making this right. No funny quip I could say.
Humiliation and guilt poured over me like lava, my shame scorching me from the inside out. The taut silence, coupled with the fear and censure from the crowd, crushed my lungs.
“Dinah?” Scott’s terrified and embarrassed tone broke me, pooling tears in my eyes.
I had to get out.
Everything in me shut down as I got up and loped for the exit.
I could feel blood leaking down my limbs and neck, but I ignored it. I pushed through the doors, the nippy air punching into my lungs as I ran from the party.
From Scott.
From the shame.
When all I wanted to do was run away from myself.
Chapter 19
By the time the taxi dropped me off at the apartment, some of my fear and mortification had shifted to anger.
Anger at the situation—at my loss of control. At the unfairness that this mental disease had claimed both my sister and me. Because no matter what my mind told me, no matter how real it seemed, it wasn’t. In this world, other realms didn’t exist. Santa Claus and fairy tales weren’t real. Magic was only in books and movies.
In this world, I was crazy.
Stomping into the apartment, I headed straight into the kitchen, grabbing an object from a drawer before heading for the bedroom, fury sizzling in my gut. Scott had removed the blanket from the mirror, and I watched my reflection march up to it. I looked like a stranger. Fire and fierceness billowed from the girl who looked as if she’d been in a tussle. My hair was wild, blood dried around the cuts on my face and limbs, my dress was spotted with food, dirt, and glitter from the ornaments.
My wounds were genuine enough. The destruction in the room was certainly real, and the looks from the crowd were imprinted in my brain.
The only thing that was a lie was my mind. Dor, Chip, Quinn, PB, and the monster who had haunted me since childhood.
“Enough,” I muttered through my teeth, fury moving my actions. Grabbing a blanket, I once again tossed it over the mirror, grabbing the hammer I got from the kitchen. “Fuck you!” I swung at the glass.
CRRAAACCKKK!
The sound of shattering glass cracked through the room, stirring my blood with a strange panic. I used it to drive forward, breaking it again, the blanket keeping the pieces from flying back at me.
“Leave me alone!”
Smash!
“You have ruined everything. I hate you!”
Beauty In Her Madness (Winterland Tale Book 3) Page 17
