by Riley Rivers
He cut his relaxing short because of how cold it was, but at the gym, he gave himself permission to take a really nice, long, hot shower. He had the ability to take his time for once, so he was going to, without having to think of any consequences, because there weren’t any.
He was giddy as he stepped under the spray though, because while he didn’t have to rush to a job or to a class, he did still have somewhere to be at ten-thirty.
But maybe thinking about the fact that he was going to meet Ezra soon, while he was naked and soaping himself down, wasn’t the… best idea.
Cameron bit back a startled gasp as he realized that he was actually getting hard from just thinking about seeing Ezra again. Arousal wasn’t something Cameron was very used to. Certainly not any more. Once in a while he had passing thoughts, but fantasies were uncommon for him, as was the desire to touch himself in an effort to feel good. He had too many rough, hard edges at this point, with too many painful memories. Besides, he lived in a constant state of being too hot or too cold, too tired, too hungry. There wasn’t time or energy for getting off.
But…
He sucked in a breath as he palmed himself, the warm water still running in rivulets over his skin, as he thought of—god—of Ezra’s smile. How handsome he was, and… and how sometimes the smile would turn all soft when he spoke to Cameron. Like Cameron was worth talking to and… and listening to.
Ezra was bigger than Cameron was, and that wasn’t normally something Cameron was all that fond of, because bigger meant more capable of pinning him down, but Ezra wasn’t like that. Clearly he wasn’t like that. He’d be gentle as his big hands skimmed over Cameron’s body. Touching him, finding the different places that would make Cameron arch up.
Maybe he’d talk to Cameron too. In that deep, warm voice of his that always seemed to drip praise.
Maybe he’d call Cameron good.
Cameron took himself in hand and started to stroke, soap helping the glide as he imagined it. Being in Ezra’s lap, maybe, back to chest and held like he was worth something. “Good,” Ezra might say as he hooked his chin over Cameron’s shoulder to watch, his beard a pleasant scratch on Cameron’s skin. “That’s so good, Cameron. That’s it. Let me see you.”
His breathing picked up, easily covered by the noise of the running water, but he didn’t make a sound even as the fantasy took clearer shape.
“Look at you,” Ezra might murmur into his ear, as he reached down to cover Cameron’s hand with his own. “Being so sweet for me.”
Cameron gasped at how visceral it felt and started to come, swallowing down his whimper as he shuddered through his first orgasm in probably months. It left him trembling and almost weak, leaning against the tiled wall as the shower washed away the evidence. Returning to reality and the sounds all around him also made him very grateful he’d stayed silent. Jerking off in a public shower stall was the opposite of trying to lay low and not attract unwanted attention.
He’d learned to grow up quiet. Fighting only got you so far, and he’d taken from that the knowledge that it was often better to tip-toe and be invisible than to be loud and seen. Even as a teenager he’d been small enough to hide under his bed, curled up tight and body tucked far, far into the wall, hiding from heavy footsteps.
He determinedly pushed those thoughts away, trying to get his breath back, but then the fact that he’d just gotten off to his boss hit him so hard and fast it left him dizzy, self-loathing sinking in. It wasn’t just that Ezra was his boss, either. Ezra was already so good to him… it was like Cameron was taking advantage of something Ezra hadn’t consented to.
It left him feeling gross, even as he was still dealing with the shakiness in his limbs.
“Fuck,” Cameron muttered to himself. And now he was supposed to get changed and go meet Ezra. Having just jerked off to him. Now he was supposed to go and meet Ezra face-to-face and act as though he wasn’t a creep.
He sighed and turned to finish rinsing off. At least they would be meeting outside. Maybe the cold air would knock some sense into him.
***
Cameron pulled into the lot of the nature trail, a little surprised to see that the lot was empty, considering it was a Saturday morning. He would have expected at least a few dog-walkers or joggers out.
Then again, it had been snowing steadily all morning, which didn’t exactly make it good weather for jogging, especially not on an unshoveled dirt trail.
An empty lot meant Ezra wasn’t here yet either, though Cameron was kind of glad about that. He’d spent almost the entire drive over red-faced with shame, and while he’d calmed down some, he still wasn’t looking forward to that first moment he was going to see Ezra today and instantly think I fantasized about you having sex with me.
He sternly told himself to concentrate on the task at hand. Or the task that was going to be at hand. Ezra had asked, if Cameron didn’t mind, to see his full final portfolio for Focus Photography. Cameron had shown him of course, and the conversation had turned to Cameron’s choice of location and how he’d decided to set up the shots he had. It had ended with Ezra expressing an interest in seeing the area where Cameron spent so much of his time and, well… Cameron would admit, if only to himself, that he had leapt at the chance to see Ezra again as soon as possible. Even knowing that he was going to see Ezra on Monday, for work.
Besides, the idea that Ezra wanted to maybe spend some time with him off the clock was…
Cameron thunked his head onto the wheel of his car. You’re being stupid. He was. God, he was being so stupid. He wished he could help it. Then he could stop.
He pulled out his phone to try to distract himself, scrolling through Instagram, which was about all he usually was able to manage in his free time. It ate up a couple minutes, before he realized he needed to pee.
Cameron heaved a very dramatic sigh as he turned off his car, immediately mourning the loss of heat. Then he threw open his door and sprinted to the porta potty, very much intending to make this the shortest trip ever.
He finished as fast as humanly possible, shivering as he zipped back up and used the hand sanitizer before shoving his hands back into his gloves and going back outside.
There was an enormous white dog sitting on the ground, directly between him and his car.
The porta potty door banged shut behind him, and the dog’s lips curled back in a snarl.
Cameron thought back to all the howling, and the clear lack of human owner to be seen, and stared at the giant fucking dog.
Wolf.
That was a fucking wolf.
“Oh fuck,” Cameron said to himself, very very quietly, as a growl started up.
He stood as still as he could, staring down the wolf as it approached him, fighting the urge to run. He was pretty sure that running from an apex predator was a bad idea. He remembered something about that from when he was a kid. Don’t act like prey? Something.
It wouldn’t matter if he tried to take off running anyway. A wolf could definitely, definitely catch up. Besides, the only safe place to run would be to his car, and the wolf was blocking that one route.
So just… stay still. Don’t move, don’t breathe. I’m not here, Cameron thought desperately. Oh god, oh god, okay it’s coming closer fuck fuck fuck—
He groped for the porta potty door, hoping maybe he could just shove it open and duck inside fast, and that was when the wolf leapt.
Cameron’s voice died in his throat as he threw up his arms to protect his face, but a scream tore out of him when strong jaws closed sharp teeth around his left forearm. The pain was blinding and immediate, and so intense that Cameron almost didn’t register the fact that the wolf had let go.
But let go it had, whipping around to snarl at something else—
Cameron clutched at his arm, blinking tears of pain out of his eyes as another fucking wolf, this one grey and brown, barrelled into the first one.
There was a lot of snarling and growling and teeth, oh god, and the nice jacket Cameron
had just bought a couple weeks ago was definitely ripped beyond repair and even if it wasn’t, it was rapidly becoming soaked with blood. Fuck, and it was such a nice jacket too.
Cameron slid to the ground, arm curled protectively into his chest, and realized with utter certainty that he was going into shock and was probably about to pass out.
Alone in a park, right next to two wolves, in the middle of winter.
Wow. I’m going to die.
Chapter Nine
Cameron woke up in stages, slowly processing what was going on around him. Something was beeping. His head hurt, his arm hurt way more, and he was incredibly thirsty. But he was warm and dry, and lying down, and on some kind of mattress, too. Wow, when was the last time he’d slept on a mattress?
Now that he thought about it, why was he sleeping on a mattress? The last thing he could remember was… the park. The wolf. His arm, the second wolf, fuck, fuck—
The beeping got louder as Cameron opened his eyes.
Okay, he realized, taking in his surroundings. A tiny little curtained-off space, but one he couldn’t confuse with any other. Hospital. He’d somehow made it to a hospital. What the fuck?
Then he turned his head and saw Ezra sitting in the chair next to his bed, hands clasped together, head bowed.
“Ezra?” Cameron croaked in disbelief.
Ezra’s head jerked up. “Cameron! You’re awake. How… how do you feel?”
“Not great,” Cameron managed. “What… what happened? How did you get here? How did I get here?”
“Let me page a nurse to let them know you’re awake,” Ezra said, instead of answering any questions. He reached for a remote by Cameron’s bed and pressed the call button.
A crackly voice asked, “Yes? How can I help you?”
“I’m with the person in bed 20C,” Ezra said. “He just woke up. Am I allowed to give him water?”
“Yes, he can drink. And someone will be by soon to check on him.”
“Okay, thank you.” Ezra turned back to Cameron and held out a styrofoam cup, which Cameron took with his shaking right hand.
“Thanks,” Cameron said after taking a long sip. “So, uh…”
I remember being in the park. I remember being bitten by a fucking wolf.
I remember being alone.
Ezra was quiet for a minute, and when he did eventually speak, his words were stilted. “I showed up at the park just in time to see a wolf taking off into the trees, and you on the ground in a pool of blood. I got you in my car and broke probably every speeding law getting here. You needed seventeen stitches in your arm.”
Cameron stared down at his left arm, wrapped in bandages, and tried not to panic. “Is it… am I… am I okay?”
Ezra let out a sigh of relief. “You should be fine, after you heal. The bite wound covered a lot of real estate, but it wasn’t as deep as it could have been. Your jacket padding helped protect you. Your muscles and everything should be okay.”
“Great,” Cameron said faintly. “That’s good.”
Ezra nodded. “Yes. It’s… it’s better than what I first thought.”
Very, very carefully, Cameron ran his fingers over the bandages. He had to stop and stare at his hands. There was dried blood under his fingernails.
His blood, because he’d been attacked by a fucking wolf.
“The wolf just ran off?” Cameron asked, struggling to follow a thought. Focusing was difficult. He was probably on some sort of pain medication.
“It’s possible my car showing up scared it away.”
“What about the other one?”
Ezra frowned. “What other one?”
“There… there were two.” Cameron definitely remembered that. “A white one and a brown one. The white one bit me. The brown one…” The brown one hadn’t attacked him. It had attacked the white wolf. That had been the only reason the white wolf had let go of Cameron’s arm.
The brown wolf was possibly the reason Cameron still had an arm. The thought made him sick, vision swimming as he once again stared at the bandages. “Oh my god,” he said, breathing suddenly difficult. “Oh my god, I got attacked by a wolf.”
“And you’re okay,” Ezra said firmly, coming right up to him and taking Cameron’s right hand. “You’re okay. Your arm will heal. You’ll be alright.”
“Fuck,” Cameron sobbed with feeling, hunching over.
“I know,” Ezra said, voice soft now. “I know. But you’re okay. You’re safe. You’re safe.”
The curtain was pulled aside, and in strode a woman in a white coat. Cameron dutifully tried to straighten up.
“Hi there,” the woman said. “I’m Dr. Marley. I’m glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Uh,” Cameron said. “Better than I was?”
Dr. Marley smiled at him. “Glad to hear it. Now, you only suffered injuries in your left arm. Luckily the lacerations weren’t too deep. They were cleaned and stitched up, and you were given a tetanus vaccine, a tetanus immunoglobulin, a rabies vaccine, and a rabies immunoglobulin. You were also hooked up to an IV for hydration, but you didn’t need a blood transfusion.”
“Great,” Cameron said weakly.
“Your arm should remain bandaged for a week, and you should try not to get it wet. Wrap it in plastic to shower. After a week you can change out the bandages as needed, though you should still try to keep your arm dry for another week. Your stitches are dissolvable so you won’t need to come in to get them removed.”
Cameron tried to conjure up a smile. “Also great.”
“We’re going to give you an oral antibiotic to be taken as directed, as well as painkillers to be taken as needed. No picking anything up with your left arm for the next week, and no heavy lifting for the next two to four weeks.”
“Um, y-yeah, okay.”
“Guess it’s a good thing you’re not at the warehouse picking up heavy things and putting them down,” Ezra said in an obvious attempt to lift the mood.
“Right,” Cameron said, and his own voice sounded kind of far-away. “Yeah. Good thing.”
“Right now we suggest fluids, as well as calories. Especially liquid calories. Help build that blood back up in your system.”
“Okay,” Cameron managed.
“Do you have any questions so far?”
“I… I guess not,” Cameron said, trying to come up with any and drawing a blank. “It wasn’t that serious then?”
Dr. Marley shook her head. “Not too bad. Surprising though. We get wild animal bites, but I’ve never had a patient deal with a wolf before.”
“Oh.” Cameron swallowed.
“But you’ve been given every shot required for this situation, plus you’ll be getting four more.”
“I… will?”
She nodded. “Since the wolf wasn’t killed or taken into custody, we have to assume it had rabies. You’ll have to come back in to receive four vaccinations over the next fourteen days.”
“Oh.”
Dr. Marley then proceeded to give him a descriptive list of the clinical signs of rabies. Cameron could potentially develop them in two to three months, though it could possibly take as long as six months to show clinical signs. There was also a slim chance that he would exhibit signs after a few days, but “since you were able to be treated so quickly after being bitten, the chances of that are very low.”
That being said, if he did, at some point, develop clinical signs of rabies, he was to “inform his loved ones” and check himself into a hospital immediately so that he could be made comfortable. Before he died. Because rabies was fatal.
Great.
“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Ezra said seriously. “Your wounds were cleaned properly and you were given all your shots. And you’ll be going in to have the other four done. You’ll be fine.”
It sounded a little like Ezra was trying to convince himself, not Cameron.
Cameron didn’t mind, though. It was kind of nice to think that Ezra cared. Mostly he felt nu
mb. A one hundred percent fatality rate in the event that he developed rabies was… terrible odds.
It wasn’t even odds. It was literally certain death.
“Man,” Cameron said, maybe a touch hysterically. “Can you imagine though? I get bitten by a fucking wolf and have the scars to prove it, but then I drop dead in the middle of winter semester because the wolf was actually poisonous.”
“You aren’t going to drop dead.” Ezra snapped. “Don’t talk like that.”
“He’s right,” Dr. Marley said cheerfully. “Like I said, the risk is low, since we were able to get you treated quickly.”
“Yeah. Great.”
“So now we’re just waiting on a room for you. You’ll be moved once one opens up.”
“Oh uh, no, that’s okay,” Cameron said quickly. “I can go.”
“What?” from Ezra and the doctor both.
“I mean it wasn’t serious, really. So I don’t need to stay here, right?”
“Well—”
“I’m coming back anyway. You said I have to, for the vaccinations. But in the meantime?” Cameron wasn’t really sure why he was arguing to leave. Being in the hospital meant being warm, and in a bed, and in a room, with meals and everything but—
His car was familiar.
He wanted familiar, right now. Not to be alone in a hospital bed with potential death hanging over his head.
“As long as you come back in for the vaccinations, you don’t have to stay here, no,” Dr. Marley said slowly. “If you’re choosing to discharge yourself.”
“Okay,” Cameron said, relieved. “I am then. Thank you.”
She gave him a long look, but eventually nodded. “I’ll get started on the discharge papers and send a nurse by to take out your IV. I recommend scheduling your upcoming shots with the nurse so that’s taken care of.”
“Thank you.”
As soon as she left, Ezra turned to Cameron, clearly unhappy. “It might be better if you at least stayed overnight. For observation? Just to make sure everything’s okay.”
“It sounds like everything is as okay as they can make it,” Cameron said. Normalcy. He could do that. “So I might as well not take up a bed.”
