“Everything okay? Do you want me to let Starr out?”
“No. I mean yes, everything’s okay. And yes, thank you, let Starr out. She won’t go anywhere except to pee and rush back to eat.” Lynette took a breath and turned to face Barb. She hadn’t moved. “So.” Lynette turned toward the counter and picked up Starr’s bowl before she turned back. “I’ll put this down for her and we can go back to the cave.”
Barb took the bowl from her hand and reached past her to put it back on the counter. As she set the bowl down she leaned close and pressed her lips to Lynette’s.
The softness of Barb’s lips and her warm breath on her cheek as she turned her head to kiss her was Lynette’s undoing. She wanted this more than she’d ever wanted anything or anyone before, and it had been a very long time since anyone had showed interest in her. She cradled Barb’s head and Barb’s tongue tickled her lips, and she opened to her, wanting whatever she was offering. She moaned when Barb wrapped her in her arms and pushed against her. Their breasts pressed against each other and her body flushed with desire. She grew wet and pulled back slightly, too close to losing control. She’d given Barb mixed messages by kissing her, and it wasn’t fair. She slowly extricated herself from Barb’s embrace and took a deep breath.
Barb leaned her forehead against hers, her breathing ragged. “I hope you have no regrets, because that was the best kiss I’ve ever known.”
Lynette smiled at Barb’s admission. “Yes, it was for me, too. I’m sorry.”
“Whatever do you think you have to be sorry for?”
“I don’t want to lead you on. I care about you, but it’s not fair of me to get involved, and I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Barb nodded slightly. “We can discuss it all some other time. We probably should get going before the tour leaves without us,” Barb said.
“Yeah.” Lynette made sure Starr was eating and turned on a light in the kitchen. She hated walking into a dark house.
She followed Barb out the door and tried unsuccessfully not to watch her tight ass as she walked. Just because she couldn’t touch didn’t mean she shouldn’t look. The drive to the cave only took a few minutes.
“Looks like we’re in time.” Lynette spoke as she hurried to the line of people waiting to enter the cave.
“Yeah. I wouldn’t have minded being late,” Barb mumbled.
“Come on. You’ve been looking forward to this.” Lynette grinned, pleased to have been Barb’s distraction. “Oh my.” She pointed to the stalactites and stalagmites at the cave entrance. “This is amazing.”
“Wow. It’s much more impressive than the pictures.” Barb wandered off the path and the guide had to call her back.
“You have to follow the rules.” Lynette laughed at Barb’s grimace, as she struggled to suppress her own desire to touch the beautiful natural creations.
“I’m glad I did this, and I’m glad you came with me,” Barb said. “There are thousands of caves in the United States. I’ve been to Mammoth Cave in Kentucky and we have a few in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Lake Superior has several small caves, caverns really, you can get to by kayak. We have ice caves, too. They’re formed from icicles hanging over ledges in the winter. This cave is really amazing. I read in the brochure that they discovered it accidentally in 1939 while blasting for limestone. The different shades of brown in the limestone are quite a feat of nature. I love how quiet it is. I’m glad the kids in the group respect the tranquility.”
“Thanks for inviting me. I’ve worked at the hotel for years and never looked into this. It’s fantastic.” Lynette breathed in the scent of the cool, damp air and gazed at the walls and ceiling while she tried to imagine being one of the explorers who first discovered this place. What did they think it was? Were they scared or curious? Her own reaction fell in between. Her sequestered childhood hadn’t prepared her for the outside world, and at this moment tears ran down her face at the grandeur of the place. She felt Barb step close and lightly rest her hand on her lower back.
“You all right?” Barb spoke quietly.
“I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s incredible.” Lynette realized she’d stopped walking and people were gathering behind them. “Sorry. We better keep moving.” She swiped away the tears and followed the group, cognizant of Barb a step behind her on her right. They reached an area close to the exit but far enough away to still be able to absorb the peacefulness before stepping out into the sunshine. Lynette blinked away her desire to return to the serenity of the cave. She sighed. They had to come back to the real world eventually.
“Can we stop in the gift shop?” she asked when they reached the exit.
“Sure.” Barb led the way.
Lynette held up a mug with the riverboat picture. She mentally reviewed her finances for the month knowing she’d already spent her extra on her aunt’s birthday gift. She looked at both sides, placed it back on the shelf, and followed Barb to an area with T-shirts.
“This one is for you.” Barb held up a shirt with a picture from inside the cave on the front. She took it to the checkout, paid, and handed the bag to her.
“Thank you.” Lynette clutched the bag to her chest. The only gifts she ever received were birthday presents from her aunt. They’d agreed on a date based on what her aunt had remembered of when her mother was pregnant, but her parents had never acknowledged the day she was born. “I love it.” She kissed Barb on the cheek. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride to the hotel.”
“I can walk. It’s not far.” Barb faced her and pulled her close. “May I kiss you good night?”
Lynette checked the area. They were alone, and considering what had happened earlier in her apartment, it seemed silly to deny herself any more of Barb’s kisses. The kiss began slowly, and Lynette quivered with need. She’d been kissed by Ruth in the cult and remembered it felt nice. Kissing Barb ignited a need and craving so strong it hurt. But she was leading Barb on by kissing her, even though her feelings for Barb went beyond casual kissing. She pulled away and felt the withdrawal like a punch to her gut.
“Are you okay?” Barb held her close.
“No. Kissing you makes me forget everything. I want to feel you everywhere.” She began to shake from the struggle going on inside her, and Barb hugged her tighter.
“It’s okay. We can go as slow as you need.” Barb kissed her forehead.
Lynette allowed herself to believe Barb even as her heart revolted.
“Let’s get you home.” Barb took her hand and led her to her car. “I will take a ride back to the hotel if you’re still offering. It’s chilly out here now.”
Lynette waited for Barb to settle in her seat before turning to face her. “I haven’t told you the whole story about my past.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything more. The past is the past, and I prefer looking at the present and to the future.”
Lynette frowned. Only people without a lot of destruction in their past said things like that. “I lose myself kissing you. All I know is your taste, the warmth and softness of your lips, and the feel of your body against mine. The world falls away as insignificant. I’m leading you on, and it’s not fair to you, but I don’t want to stop.”
“Like I said, we’ll go as slow as you need. I don’t want to stop either, but you’re important to me, and I need you to be comfortable. It was only a kiss, Lyn.”
Lynette took a deep breath and expelled it. “Yeah. A kiss I’ll never forget.” She could tell Barb some of it. The whole story would have to wait until she had Starr for support. “I need to tell you at least one important part of my past.” She took another deep breath before beginning to speak. “When I was twelve, my parents moved us to a cult. We were all renamed and I became Sarah. I spent the following twelve years under their control. That’s where I had my first relationship and betrayal.”
“You don’t have to say more if it’s hard.” Barb took one of her hands in hers. The warmth of her touch soothed her.
“No. You need to know this. I escaped when I was twenty-four, but before I was able to get out, they forced me to marry. I’m still legally married, Barb.” Lynette swallowed hard to hold back tears. “Now do you see why I can’t keep kissing you? It’s just not fair.”
Barb was silent for a moment. “Now I understand your reluctance. Were there priests or officials in the cult to perform marriage ceremonies?” Barb stroked her knuckles gently with her thumb.
“It was a religious cult. Not all cults are, but the leader was Brother Matthew. He officiated over all the weddings. What difference does it make?”
“I don’t know anything about cults, but I’d question whether he had the authority to marry people.” Barb looked deep in thought.
The raw space the revelation left in Lynette’s soul was too much, and she didn’t want to discuss it any further. “It’s getting late. I’ll take you back to the hotel now.” Lynette reluctantly pulled her hand away from Barb’s and immediately felt a chill. It was nothing compared to the feeling of loss at the sad smile Barb offered as she stepped out of the car without looking back.
Chapter 21
The clouds obscured the morning sun, and Barb watched the birds soar over the water and trees below her. She considered what Lynette had told her the night before. She was a strong, brave woman to have survived and made a life for herself. Barb pulled out her phone. She looked up cults and read about several. Too much information put her on overload. How could there possibly be ten thousand active cults in America? And if that was the case, why wasn’t there more being done about it? She’d wait until Lynette gave her more details, but she hoped what she suspected was true. The cult leader probably had no authority to perform legal marriage ceremonies. Her phone rang as she was putting it away.
“Good morning.” Barb shifted her phone to hear her brother better.
“Hi there, lady of leisure. I don’t have a lot of information, but I did check on the cults for you.”
“Thanks, Brad. What’d you find?” Perfect timing. She hadn’t expected him to have time to do research for her when she’d asked, so she appreciated his call.
“There are many cults isolated in remote areas in Idaho. They segregate themselves and rarely mix with the public outside of their compounds, so we don’t know much unless a former member comes forward with information. There are a couple of doomsday cults that law enforcement keeps an eye on, but they’re hard to pin down. No one involved talks, so you don’t get a good sense of what’s going on inside, and most who come out just want to get on with their lives and leave that crazy shit behind. I hope that info helps a little.”
“It does. Thanks. See you soon.”
She retrieved the mug she’d bought and headed to breakfast.
“Morning, Lyn. Did you get some sleep last night?” Barb asked.
“Morning. After a walk with Starr I was able to settle down. I appreciate you listening to me, and I had a great time at the cave.” Lynette looked around. “And before and after.”
Barb was happy to see her smile. “I had a great time, too. I’m planning to take a boat tour on the river. I’d love for you to go with me, if you can find the time.”
Lynette looked conflicted but regarded her for a long moment before she straightened her spine and spoke. “Yes. Yes, I will.”
“Great. Is tomorrow good? It’s supposed to be a clear day.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow’s good as far as I know. I’ll double-check with Claudia.”
“Okay. I also wanted to give you this.” She handed Lynette the mug. “It can remind you of our first date.”
“Thank you. I love it.” Lynette beamed, then looked sad. “You must be okay with my disclosure last night.”
“I’m okay with it. I’ll respect any decision you make regarding our relationship. I only hope we can spend time together while I’m here.” Barb made a mental note to get tickets for the boat tour as she settled at her table.
She sipped her coffee and studied Lynette, impressed with her efficiency. She poured the mixture onto the grill and folded the finished product like the expert she was. Barb wondered if she’d learned her cooking skills during her time in the cult or since she got out. The need to know all of her puzzled her. There was so much she didn’t know about her but wished to learn. Lynette had agreed to go on the boat tour with her, and Barb considered it a step in the right direction. She’d be going home in a couple weeks, but maybe she and Lyn could keep in touch. She loved her job and her quiet life on Drummond Island, but she counted on one hand her number of close friends. She could use a new friend in her life. She finished her breakfast and went to check on tickets but didn’t know what time Lynette was available, so she called down to the kitchen and asked for her.
“Hi, Barb.” Lynette answered on the first ring.
“Hey there. I’m at the ticket office for the boat tours. I’d like to take the two-hour Upper Dells tour. Any time between eight a.m. and seven p.m. What time can you make it?”
“I can get off at four.”
“Okay. I’ll get the five to seven tickets.”
“That sounds good. And don’t forget my aunt’s birthday Thursday night.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting her. I’ll talk to you later.” Barb disconnected the call and secured their spots on the boat. Two dates in one week. She was making progress.
She checked the SD card in her camera, pleased she had enough room left for another trip to the cave. She changed into her hiking shoes, secured her camera strap on her shoulder, and proceeded toward the Cave of the Mounds. She’d loved the excursion with Lynette, but today she was on a mission to get some good photos. She sighed at the number of people waiting to get tickets and took a place at the end of the line, but within a few minutes she was among the next group to enter. She followed the guide through the cave and took various shots of the formations and water. The guide obliged her several times when she leaned over the handrail to get a close up of something interesting. She engaged him in a conversation on the formation of limestone and sedimentary rocks, and they talked about the possibility of how the cave originated and the probability of compacted seashells. He seemed as awed as she was at nature’s evolution over the past million years. She took a picture of the exit and captured the depth of the cave when they reached the end of the tour. Satisfied she had a few good pictures, she headed to the gift shop to find out where she might get prints made.
By the time she returned to the hotel, lunch was over and Lynette was cleaning up. “Hi there. You missed lunch.” She smiled and put a turkey sandwich and blueberry muffin on her table.
“Thanks, I’m famished. I went back to the cave to get some photographs. Does your aunt like photos?” Barb took a bite of her sandwich.
“She’s an artist. She loves anything artsy,” Lynette said.
“Good. Can you sit for a minute?”
Lynette looked back at the tables she’d been cleaning and slid onto the seat across from Barb. “Were you able to get us on the tour boat tomorrow?”
“Yep. We’re all set. Do you have time for hot chocolate on the balcony tonight?”
“As soon as I’m done here. I’m curious about what the photo for my aunt is all about.”
“You’ll see it Thursday.” Barb grinned.
Lynette smiled and stood. “Okay. I’m going to see if Claudia needs a hand. It’s cheesecake night tonight.”
Barb headed to her room by way of the gift shop. “I need to pick this up on Thursday afternoon at the latest,” Barb said to the gift shop owner. “It’s a birthday gift for a friend.”
“No problem. If you pick out a frame now, I’ll process your digital photos and you can take it with you right away.” The woman smiled.
“Thank you.” Barb chose a medium-sized frame that she imagined would fit on a variety of wall sizes, and the neutral color wouldn’t detract from the magnificence of the cave scene. She took a longer route back to the hotel for time to reflect on her first two weeks of va
cation. She’d definitely enjoyed relaxing without the stress of waiting for a call sending her to chase down drunken boaters or ATVs racing on private property. A huge part of her would have liked to have someone special to share a vacation with, and as her thoughts moved to unavailable Lyn, she recognized a loneliness she’d suppressed by staying busy with work. She shook off the deep thoughts and headed to her room.
“Hello,” Lynette called from the doorway.
“Come on in. I’m on the balcony.” Barb didn’t trust herself not to pull Lynette into her arms and kiss her nonstop at the door, so she’d left it ajar.
“Hey there. I brought cheesecake.”
Barb made two cups of hot chocolate and carried them to the balcony table, intentionally keeping distance between her and Lynette. She reminded herself she was a friend. Nothing more.
“Thanks.” Lynette sipped her hot chocolate and let out a soft hum. “I love this stuff.”
Barb forced away images of Lynette humming beneath her touch. This friend thing was going to be harder than she thought. “So, can I start on the cheesecake?” She reached for the bag and pulled out the two forks and slices of cake. “Thanks for bringing these.”
“No problem.” Lynette sat quietly looking over the balcony railing. “Was this hotel your first choice for your vacation?”
“It was for my budget. I haven’t taken time off in years, so I wanted this to be as relaxing as possible. I love nature and the water, and my brother suggested Dells, so I looked at all the options.” Barb took a bite of her cheesecake. “I liked the cabins and lodges right on the water, but they were out of my price range. This one has turned out to be perfect.”
“I’m glad.” Lynette set her cup aside and picked up her cheesecake.
“Me, too, because of the view, but mostly because I’ve met you.” Barb watched the emotions play across Lynette’s face, pleased when a small smile broke through. “Did you start working at the hotel right after you left the cult?”
Lynette set her empty plate on the table and clasped her hands in her lap. “No. I lived with my aunt for years while I went to therapy and learned how to function in the world. It was after I joined a recovery group and listened to other cult survivors tell their stories of how they’d managed to make their way in the outside world that I applied for a job in the kitchen here.” She took a sip from her cup. “I commuted from my aunt’s for two years before I could get my own place closer. I’ve moved four times since working here, just for my own peace of mind. I was scared to death the cult would come after me.” She turned and took Barb’s hand. “It’s a journey. One I’m still on and could last a lifetime, I’m afraid. But I’m grateful our paths have crossed.” She released her hand and stood. “I better go let Starr out.”
Love's Truth Page 9
