by Deb Stratton
still feeling a bit queasy on and off though. I excuse myself to the crate and feel like after a short visit by the fire I may just sleep the rest of my day away.
I sit on the crate and discover the worst thing that could possibly happen at this moment to a female. It was time for my cycle and that explains why I was not feeling my best today. Now what? Leaves? I decide to go against the rules of life and take off my sock; I place it strategically in my underpants and hope for the best. I wonder if I should see Barka. She may be able to help me with something to use.
I head back out to the fire. He looks at me again, and offers me a mushroom. It tastes really bad. I do not want to tell him this but wow, it may be the worst thing I have ever had. I still feel bad and just eat the one to please him, and I am gone.
91
Chapter Eight
Tossing, turning. Restless. I am not sleeping well. I am dreaming of loud noises. Screaming. Voices. Lights in pathways, running. Whispering. Crying. I am sweaty and looking into the foggy smoke filled room. I do not see Stem by the fire. I look around it is a blur. I see him over in the corner lying in his area. He is sleeping. I do not feel well. I feel drugged. The mushrooms made me sick. I am seeing spots. I see visions of my dreams coming to life. Stem continues to sleep. I drift off again. I dream again, I am being carried. I am scooted down on the flat area that Stem sleeps on and he hovered over me. I felt his breath on neck. I open my eyes and realize that I am dreaming again. I look over and he is still resting.
I find my way to the crate and use my second sock as a way to manage my monthly. I decide to roll up the used sock and quietly go out to the common area to use the water to rinse and clean it. It really is beautiful and it is so quiet. There is no noise or any signs of life. It is just me and the running water. As I turn around and turn the corner I see a large hairy man standing and watching me. He is much taller than Stem and looks a bit older. I am shivering a bit from the sight of him and he is standing in the entryway blocking my way out.
93
He says, “You have a choice, you do not need to be here with Stem.”
I shrug and risk my safety by asking him what he means by that. He leans on the wall and continues to speak.
“You can leave when you find a way and you should be careful. You know why you are here, don’t you?” he asks.
I walked towards him a bit more and said in a very quiet voice ,”I am not sure what you mean, I am here because I was trapped and Stem saved me from becoming a worker or maybe even something worse.”
“You know that the time is coming soon. You will find out your place here and it will change. You need to go and find your way home. It has never happened before with any of the breeders but it is possible.” he continues to say, “If you try hard enough.”
“Why not? Why has no one left before?” I whisper.
NO answer. He stands before me and just looks at my face. He starts to move closer and he is struck from behind. He falls to the ground and does not move. I look up to see Stem standing there with a large wood club in his hand. He has beaten this male Bigfoot down
and I am not sure if I can look at him for longer than a moment.
“Em, I do not want to do this again, Please do not go alone to any area. I cannot always be there for you.”
He says and reaches for my hand.
I step over the hair covered leg and follow Stem back to our path. I am sorry and I feel bad. I want nothing more than to go back up above and I now know that no one has ever accomplished that before.
I go to my cot and hang my damp sock up. I watch
Stem stir the coals and can tell that he is upset. “Stem, why am I here? And will you please tell me who that was?” I cried a bit to myself while waiting for him to respond.
He says something under his breath and continues in a louder voice, “Our worlds exist together. You are from above and there are no breeders there. Down here under the ground we have lived for many years escaping and hiding from the humans that seek us. I want to say to you that I have chosen you. Because I have chosen you, you are safe from many other things that could have caused harm to you. You have only seen what I have chosen for you to see, and that is the good.”
95
“Why” I stood up. “Why did you choose me? Please tell me what I must do to go back up to the path that brought me here. I will not tell anyone, I promise.”
“There is no way Em to ever go back. We have always been superior in many ways to the others that you have known and as our world grows, you will be a part of it. I am happy to have you here with me and you know what your purpose is. It is much the same as mine. I have been chosen to become a breeder as well. For my own kind. I must provide what they are asking for and that is certain.”
“Stem, you have said nothing of this before. I hear the words often and one especially and that is breeder. I am here to have children for you?” I feel weak in my legs. I must sit down for a moment.
“When the time is right, you will see Barka and you will produce a child. There have been many successful breeders here and you are looking for answers when the answer has always been there. I do not have the answers to all of your questions in the right way that you want them. I will let you decide. If you would like to provide the child when you are ready or if you would like me to choose the time.” he sat down after a short pause and then asked if I was hungry.
“I don’t know what this means, but it’s no matter. I will do what you feel is best, and continue to be thankful that I am still able to feel safe. I will always want to go home, Stem, I have children there. I will always, miss that.” I added.
“Give it time and they may live here too someday soon. You may see each other again.” He said.
When the time comes? I will see my family again? I will be a mother to a Bigfoot infant and a breeder. I will be with Stem. I am not sure what will happen next but right now I think I will just warm my meat and sit by the fire. I have no idea again what day it is. I am also unable to determine if we work every day or not. I feel so lost. It is like being camping and having nothing to do because it is raining outside.
I finish my breakfast and visit the crate again. My ear tag is bothering me and I have been fiddling with them when I am alone trying to find a way to loosen them.
Stem walks to the edge of the small room and says without looking in, “Your secret is my que to begin. Your mine tonight and I will take you to Barka today to prepare.”
I bury my face in my hands quietly crying as hard as I can without making a noise. I just cannot do this
97
anymore. I just cannot. I say nothing and go to my cot. I look up at him with a confused look and lay down with my hoodie over my face. I try to think of happy things in the past. I try to recall some meditating ways to calm myself. I remember a video I had watched once that showed the ocean in the morning with the sun coming up. I tried to pretend I was there. I felt the wind and the sun on my face.
The sound of seagulls and birds filled my head. Oh this is good. I will just stay here just like this for as long as possible and create my own world. One happy world above ground where there is beauty and calm. I turn up the beach waves crashing in my head. It drowns out all of my fears for the moment and my mind quiets down.
As I lay here, I feel so grateful to have had a happy life. I have a very strong sense of escaping this underground Bigfoot Village and I think that the thought of leaving someday will get me through whatever it is I am going through. I am a kidnapped human breeder and am living in a world that no one has ever proven existed. That in itself is enough to take the journey and live to tell the story outside of these dirt walls. I am here, like it or not.
I uncover my head and turn towards the fire. I decided to take out that stone I found during our walk to his families and make him the gift. As I sat up I took
off the hemp bracelets and walked over to the stump by the fire. Sitting down next to Stem, I took the rock and unraveled my hemp t
wine and began wrapping it around the stone. I tied them all end to end to form a necklace. He watched every twist and knot that I made. I took my finished product and stood up next to him to put it over his head. “My gift to you for saving my life.”
I whispered. He grasped it with his large hand and felt the stone. He lowered it back down on his chest and while it dangled he took my hand. He asked if I was ready to go to the medical area to see Barka. “Yes, if you have decided that this must be done, I am ready.” I said.
I catch myself shocked by the strength I just found. I am ok and am going through the motions of what my new life has presented me. I know that it will be a long and trying journey. I am sure at this very moment that I will make it. I stand up once again and take his hand. I am ready to walk the path to see my first friend here and I am actually relieved because I am running out of ideas and socks. I have questions and am anxious and excited to talk with her.
As we walk through the path towards the commons,
I pull on Stem’s hand so he had to stop, for no reason.
Then I walk again. I stop and walk. I was making a game out of our walk together.
99
At first he looked confused, and by the time we had reached the common area we were jumping ahead of each other and being silly. It was actually really fun. The area was filled with the others and it became quiet as they all stopped to look at us.
Maybe they were all smart enough to build a life for themselves and even learn to speak and elude the best hunters but they never learned to have fun. That side of the brain may not be working yet I am guessing. I keep doing it anyway and laugh at him when he keeps walking without me.
I was looking for that hairy man he knocked out by the water last night and so far I have no clue where he was from or where he could have gone.
Stem slows his steps as we arrive to Barka’s area. He became very serious and almost timid. He presented me at the doorway to her and walked away. I was so happy to see her and I knew that there was trust between us from the first day.
“Well, it is good to see you Em, how are you today?
Stem had instructions to wait back at his area until you have been informed of your new schedule of events. We will be finished later today. You will be taken back. Are you prepared to begin?” she says as she gets some small crates out from under a cot. She keeps looking through
them and I am beginning to think she has lost something. She then steps to the doorway and looks to the right, “Stem, I will see that she is brought back to you at the end of the day, you may go.” He did not want to leave. He stood out there even after she had thought he had left. That also pulled at my heartstrings a bit. I feel like he really likes our new friendship.
He looked in as he walked by and glanced at my face. He looked sad. I sometimes think that he is sad a lot but maybe that is just due to the lack of fun around this place.
“Barka, I am doing ok. I do have some questions and am confused about some situations I have come across. First, I am using my socks for this bleeding I am having and I am not sure what the females here do in this situation. The crate rooms only have leaves and I do not have a lot of clothing with me. I am unsure what to do.
I am unsure when I can bathe, when I can walk around.”
I said even more.
“I am not sure what I am doing most of the time unless Stem guides me to the next activity of the day. I would also like to know what day it is and what time it is. I have so many questions. Can you please help me?”
101
“First things first young lady, you are about to become Stem’s partner and now that you will be breeding you will need more information. I am glad to give it to you. In other areas we have classrooms where others like yourself are the teachers and instruct our families how to grow and learn the way that you have up above.”
She was still looking through those crates but continued to talk just like nothing was hard for her to say. She explained to me further that I will find out how they track the days and time here and that Stem has a home that he will live in when he reunites with his family someday. Also that where we are staying is simply an area that is set up for him to become familiar with me and my ways.
“Today we will prepare you for your night with him.” she reaches out of a crate with a handful of cotton towels. They are like hand towels and seem to be the same sort of lost and found items that I was given before.
“You may use these for your issue, and you may bathe when you like, and when Stem is available to take you. The area that he has been placed in has very few others and it should be easy for you to eat and bathe without too much bother. I was told about your walk out alone and that Broken had found you. He does not
think clearly and has been off of his right thoughts for many years.” She said.
She was attempting to feel my back and arms while talking now, “Stem will always protect you. It is his job now and as your baby grows he will become more and more devoted and protective. You must abide by this.”
Instead of having a complete mental breakdown I allowed her to finish with warm tears in my eyes. They felt warmer than before, maybe because my face felt clammy or damp here. I completed her inspection and followed her lead to the pathway on the right. We walked to a completely new area that was just beautiful. Filled with other females of both Bigfoot type and human. Some blended. As apparently the mix is creating some beautiful short haired versions of me. I am introduced to a group of them and Barka tells them she will be back for me after lunch.
I sit down in the chair that is left open for me and the grooming begins. They stand me upright and we walk around the corner to the most amazing underground cave I had seen yet. Filled with steaming water and so clear I could see clear to the bottom. I stepped up on the stones and we all found a seat together. We floated and swam. We splashed and
103
giggled. I was planning my questions for them as well but they were so carefree, I decided to just enjoy the time and floated towards the waterfall. What a wonderful moment.
As they were mostly undressed with just those small coverings, I decided to take a few items off myself and set them up on the edge. It felt so refreshing and free. I laid back with my head keeping me afloat on the edge of the rocks. Floating away in my thoughts again but this time instead of going to the ocean or going home my thoughts were with Stem. I was becoming anxious as to what was going to become of me and why he really sent me here.
After a few hours of floating, pampering and hanging my clothes to dry we groomed. I was given an unusual style to my hair. This to me looked very cave womanish. I was given the same small fur coverings to wear. These fur coverings are worn by the hairy folks and the humans. Even though they are hairy it seems these coverings must protect their personal and private areas. So whether I am them or not the coverings are to be worn. That bothers me. I love my sweatpants and shirts. I am always cold.
I am wondering where the fur or hair for the coverings comes from. Maybe they harvest it from
themselves and wash it before making them. I hope it is not dirty old dusty hair.
I put on my coverings and leave my underpants on. I have to. I have to have some way to wear my cotton towel. I am clean but not soap clean and shaving is not in my future so I can mark off my dream of becoming a hippie child and bask in the beauty of what I have become.
We sit and talk about little things like the water and the others walking around. They are careful not to become privately interested in me or ask questions. I am sure they are instructed to be that way since this must be their job.
A new female comes up. She is human and she is much older. She delivers our meat sacks and I see those little sacks of mushrooms again. NO thank you. Not for this girl today. I felt so bad after eating the last and even though it was short lived, I felt like I was intoxicated. I left them to the side and ate my food. It is the jerky type not the pork kind that we had at Stem’s family area. I enjoy my water bott
le and even though I still have no clue where they get the water to keep filling them for me I drink it. It is always cold and refreshing. Not from the ponds that I can see, as it
105
would not be as pure. Maybe it was from the waterfalls. I will have to ask. Sometime. But not now as Barka walks in to take me back.
I thank them all, as they wave me off, and walk back to Barka’s office. She gets out a sack and fills it with the cotton towels and also gives me another to put my damp clothing in.
