by Kate Sweeney
Maureen let out a dejected sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. “I don’t know why. I can’t change what I’ve done, but I can stop Tommy Doyle. I need that journal,” she said in a quiet, firm voice.
Mr. Nolan took a deep breath. “Mick and that young man in County Wicklow took it the day before Matt died,” he said, then chuckled sadly. “The truth of it? I liked that young lad. I wish…” He stopped as the tears sprang into his eyes. He quickly wiped them away. “I don’t have the journal. I don’t know where it is.”
Maureen let out a groan of pure frustration. “Fuck!” she muttered.
“Mr. Nolan, do you know the young man’s name? Or where he lives?” Annabel noticed Maureen still couldn’t bring herself to look at her. She didn’t know how to react to Maureen now. There was too much she didn’t know. She only hoped Maureen would tell her.
“He lives in County Wicklow. After we buried Matt, I never saw him again. His name was Burke, Sean Burke,” he said with a shrug.
Maureen’s head shot up at the name. Only now did she look at Annabel, who was looking right into her eyes.
“Mr. Nolan, I have to ask ya one more favor.” Maureen looked the man squarely in the face.
He narrowed his eyes at her for an instant. “What is it?”
“Doyle’s men know I’m back. And they’re looking for me.”
“And since they know about Matt and your brother, they’ll be coming here?”
She nodded. “Perhaps. I don’t know, but if they come by… Do you have anywhere you can go until this is over?”
Mr. Nolan put up his hand. “And you expect me to run from them?”
“Not run, sir. Maybe just…”
“I know what to do. They’ll not get a word out of me. I don’t know anything anyway.”
“If they think ya know somethin’, they will, but not if they think you’re an innocent. Tell them I was here. Don’t lie about it.”
“What are you thinkin’?”
“If they come by, tell ’em I went on about how I was shaggin’ the American, and I’m spendin’ his money on her. He’ll believe that. He’ll be so grateful for the information, trust me. He’ll leave ya alone.”
Annabel put her hands on her hips. “Shaggin’ the American?”
“I think that’ll work,” Mr. Nolan said, either ignoring or not hearing Annabel.
Maureen tried not to grin as she glanced at Annabel. “It will. They may not even come by if they haven’t already.”
“But they didn’t know you were back. You’d best be going, just in case they decide to. Go on with ya.” He put his hand on Maureen’s shoulder. “I’m sorry if I was out of line with ya. It’s just been so hard since…”
Maureen nodded. “I know. I’m sorrier than I can say for all this. I’m tryin’ to set it right.”
“I know ya are. Go now.”
Maureen led Annabel back to the car without a word. Annabel got in and watched Maureen’s stern set jaw. She did not look at Annabel when she started the car.
“So,” Annabel started slowly. “Are we to assume Burke and Wicklow, it’s Mrs. Burke?”
“We’ll have to go and see. It would be a helluva coincidence.”
Maureen headed back north toward Dublin. She glanced back at Annabel but didn’t say anything. Her stomach was in knots. She tried to swallow the wave of nausea when she saw the shameful look on Annabel’s face. Maureen watched the road as she drove. Still she said nothing to Annabel about Mr. Nolan’s accusation.
They drove the rest of the way in silence.
Chapter 15
Annabel glanced at Maureen as she drove. Her face was void of emotion as she stared, stone-faced. She didn’t know how to approach this. Do I care? Maybe I should just ask her to let me off at the next corner. A little late for that, she thought.
She took a deep breath. As if she could read her mind, Maureen glanced at her as she drove. “I told ya there was a lot I can’t go into, Annabel.” She angrily shifted gears. “If I just left ya alone. I hate myself for involving you.”
“If you hadn’t, what would you have done with Michael? Where could you go, bleeding like you were?” Annabel said, suddenly feeling angry. “Back to your apartment with Doyle waiting for you?”
“I’d let ya go right now if I thought you’d be safe.”
“But you won’t because I can help and I have helped. So, please, stop this.”
“I just would like not to involve anyone else in this if possible.”
“I agree with you there.” Annabel looked at the countryside while Maureen drove. She looked back at Maureen. “Why haven’t you gone to Kevin, the policeman, with any of this?”
Maureen didn’t answer right away. Annabel looked away from her and stared out the window for a moment.
“Did you sell drugs in Paris?” she asked, dreading the answer. Somehow, Maureen selling drugs just didn’t fit. Perhaps she didn’t want it to.
Annabel was shocked when Maureen quickly pulled off to the side of the road. She dashed out of the car and promptly vomited.
“What in the hell…” Annabel ran to her side. “Maureen, what’s wrong?”
Maureen bent over and heaved whatever was in her stomach. Annabel held her around the waist and closed her eyes, fighting the gag reflex and the urge to follow her. She took a deep breath.
Maureen wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and leaned on the hood of the car. “I am sorry. That’s my way of handlin’ stress.” She shivered violently.
Annabel took out a handkerchief and wiped her sweaty brow. Maureen shivered again and nodded her thanks. A drug dealer? Annabel thought with a smirk.
“If this is how you react to stress…nice line of work you’ve chosen,” she said dryly. “Would you like to tell me the truth?”
“Ya heard the truth from Mr. Nolan.” Maureen snatched the handkerchief out of her hand. She mopped her face, then spit into the road. “Get in,” she said as she walked back to the car.
Annabel raised an eyebrow and followed.
They drove the rest of the way in silence. Maureen pulled up the gravel drive that led to Mrs. Burke’s bed-and-breakfast.
“What are you going to do?” Annabel asked as Maureen rang the bell.
“Find that fucking journal and be done with this,” she said angrily.
Annabel shook her head. “Your anger won’t help. Calm down. You’ll throw up again,” she said dryly.
Maureen glared at her while Annabel hid her grin. “What? It’s true…”
“Look…”
“Well! I hoped to see you two again but not this soon.” Mrs. Burke’s grin faded as she looked from Maureen to Annabel. “What is it? Come in…”
They followed her down the hall to the kitchen table. “Now tell me why you came back,” Mr. Burke said as she placed the tea and scones on the table.
“Mrs. Burke, we haven’t time for tea and scones,” Maureen said quickly.
Annabel reached over and placed a hand on her arm. “Eat.”
Maureen took a deep exasperated breath and ate the scone.
“Mrs. Burke, your son…was his name Sean?” Annabel asked gently.
“Yes. Why do you ask?” Mrs. Burke glanced from one to the other again.
“Did ya know he was friends with Matt Nolan in County Carlow?” Maureen asked pointedly.
When Mrs. Burke slumped back in her chair, Annabel already knew the answer.
“Yes,” she said in a quiet voice, “but I don’t see what it matters now.”
Annabel felt sorry for her, and by Maureen’s look, she felt the same. But Annabel knew they had to pursue this, no matter how forlorn Mrs. Burke looked.
“Ma’am. He and Matt, they were unfortunately involved with my brother, Mick. They…well, they…” she stumbled, not wanting to blurt out the truth.
Mrs. Burke smiled sadly. She reached over and gently touched Maureen’s cheek. “I know, dear. My Sean stayed in Dublin quite often. He didn’t want me to know, though I gues
sed long ago. When a handsome young man does not fancy marriage and spends all his time in the city with his friends, all male friends, ya have to wonder,” she said and smiled slightly. “I don’t understand why it was such a secret.”
“He probably felt ashamed, ma’am. It’s hard to be different,” Maureen said with equal sadness.
“Is your brother?”
Maureen shook her head. “No, ma’am. Matt was a friend. Mick doesn’t have any true friends. Unfortunately, your son tried to get him out of it. Mick confided in him, and Matt kept a journal. He wrote down everything. How Matt found the names, places, huge sums of money…” She stopped and drank her tea.
Annabel noticed her hands shaking. She desperately wanted to know the whole story. In her heart, she just couldn’t believe Maureen Costello was a drug dealer.
“I’m after gettin’ the man who killed Matt. Mrs. Burke, how did…how did Sean die?” she asked quietly. “Ya mentioned they found him…where did ya say?” she gently prodded.
She smiled sadly. “Alone by the lea. That’s from his poem, of course. He loved poetry.”
“The lea?” Annabel asked softly.
“It’s another name for a meadow or a grassy field, which is where they found him. Alone…” She looked so old as she stared off. “Oh, I’m sorry. He had that illness, the AIDS. He was takin’ the drugs to ease the pain.” She buried her face in her hands. “I should’ve stopped him. I knew it was illegal. I knew he was buying that poison, but I closed my eyes to it. I turned my back on it and never said a word. He tried to tell me, oh, how he tried. My Seaneen.” She sobbed.
Annabel quickly went to her, holding her in her arms.
Maureen sat there staring at the sobbing woman with a blank expression. “I know, ma’am. I did the same thing myself,” she whispered pathetically.
Annabel watched Maureen’s inner torment flash across her face.
Maureen quickly took a deep breath. “Sean and Matt had the journal. Have ya any idea where it might be?”
The old woman stopped crying and dried her eyes on her apron. She shook her head. “I have no idea.”
Maureen angrily stood and paced back and forth. She turned to Mrs. Burke. “Could it be in his room?”
Mrs. Burke frowned deeply. Annabel placed a gentle hand on the woman’s shoulders. “Maureen needs that journal. If Sean had it, he might have left it there.”
“I haven’t been in his room since he died,” she whispered. She then stood slowly, looking much older now. “Come, it’s time. We’ll have a look.”
The bedroom was simple and cozy. Maureen gave Mrs. Burke a questioning look.
“Go on, Miss Costello, you look for what ya need.”
Maureen nodded and began her search. She looked through every drawer, under the mattress, under the bed, in the closet. Nothing. Then she looked at the bookcase. She took out every book, looked behind it—still nothing. Then it struck her. She turned to Mrs. Burke.
“Ya said he liked poetry and reading. What was the poem he recited to ya? Did he have the book?” she asked quickly, and Mrs. Burke nodded.
Annabel was confused for the millionth time in the past two days. Mrs. Burke examined the books on the shelf, then grinned. “There it tis.” She pointed, and Maureen quickly took the book off the shelf. She leafed through it and found the poem. There was a small inscription by the poem “Winds of the West.” She read the poem and found the line—and the banshee is wailing alone by the lea. She smiled sadly, the poor bugger. Maureen knew what it was like to be different, to try to live a normal life… Normal, what in the hell was that anyway? she asked herself.
Next to the line was the inscription, which they assumed was Sean’s handwriting.
I’ll always love you... Joyce, it is.
Maureen frowned and repeated the lines aloud. She looked at Annabel, who shook her head. “Who is Joyce?”
Mrs. Burke shook her head in confusion. “I have no idea. He never mentioned her.”
Annabel’s mind was spinning. She looked at Maureen, who shook her head. “I have no idea, either.”
An idea then struck Annabel. She thought of Trevor, who loved the Irish bards, as he called them. “But your son liked poetry, and he liked to read.”
“He did,” Mrs. Burke said.
“What are ya thinking, Annabel?” Maureen asked.
“Joyce, James Joyce…”
Maureen grinned. “You’re wonderful,” she said and kissed Annabel on the lips.
Annabel pulled back, completely—but just as wonderfully—stunned. She caught the raised eyebrow of Mrs. Burke and smiled nervously.
Maureen seemed unaware of what she had done; she looked through the books once again. She glanced at Annabel. “What’s the matter?”
Annabel ran her fingers through her hair. “Nothing,” she said with a smile.
“Well, will ya help me look then?”
Annabel and Mrs. Burke joined in the search. Annabel then saw it. She picked up the copy of Ulysses. It seemed heavy, and as she tried to open it, she realized it wasn’t a book at all.
“Maureen, look,” she said softly. She opened the cover of the book. It was a small treasure chest. Inside, a leather-bound book lay at the bottom. Maureen sat on the bed and carefully took the ledger out and examined it.
Annabel and Mrs. Burke were amazed. They stood as Maureen gingerly opened the ledger and leafed through the contents. A small smile flashed across her face. “I’ve got you, Tommy Doyle. You’ll never poison another person with your filth,” she whispered her fervent promise. She then closed the ledger, slipped it into the breast pocket of her leather jacket, and stood.
“Why was the journal in that book?” Mrs. Burke asked the obvious.
Maureen shrugged. “My guess is that he took the journal from Matt Nolan and kept it safe until it was needed. Mick trusted Matt. I’m sure when Mick confided his fears, Matt had Sean hide it. Then when they killed Matt and they tried the same with Mick, the journal stayed put. With Sean now gone, no one, not even Tommy Doyle, knew where the ledger was or even if it existed.”
“Amazing,” Annabel said.
“Truly. We have to be goin,’ ma’am,” Maureen said. “I am sorry about Sean and this whole mess.”
Mrs. Burke cautiously regarded Maureen. “Maureen Costello, you take that book and do the right thing. Then you come back here to me. You’re all skin and bones. Ya need a little fattening up.”
Annabel smiled, watching the exchange. She glanced at Maureen, whose eyes were glistening. She dug her hands deep into her pockets. Annabel had come to know this gesture as a show of independence and pride. Annabel wanted to know Maureen, what she was truly like deep inside. Somehow, a drug dealer just didn’t fit the part.
“I think that would be a good idea,” Annabel said. “Mrs. Burke was telling me how hard it is for her to keep up with the business of running a bed-and-breakfast.”
“It’s true. I’m getting too old to be running around. This old house has so much work. I just don’t think I can do it all myself.” She sighed tiredly.
Maureen frowned, taking the bait. “Ya shouldn’t be doing all the work by yourself. Have ya no one?” she asked seriously. Mrs. Burke shook her head sadly. She stood and grimaced. Maureen was right at her side. She put an arm under her elbow and guided her back to the kitchen, settling her easily into a chair. Mrs. Burke looked up and smiled.
“See… Well, when this is done, maybe I could stop by from time to time…” Maureen stopped and shrugged. “I mean, if ya needed me.”
Annabel’s heart broke as she watched this woman struggling to let go of whatever demon was chasing her. She desperately wanted to go to her.
Mrs. Burke reached up and Maureen knelt beside her. “I think I do need help.”
Maureen blinked in surprise. She swallowed and cleared her throat. “Well then, when I’m finished, I’ll come back.”
Mrs. Burke gently cupped the handsome face and kissed each cheek. “Bring Dr. Mitchell with ya,”
she whispered, and Maureen felt the color rush to her cheeks.
Annabel smiled and watched Mrs. Burke, who kissed Maureen’s cheek once again. Maureen smiled sheepishly and rose.
“We’d better be goin’,” she said to Annabel.
Maureen frowned deeply as she drove back to Trevor’s house. “We’ll have Michael go over what’s in this book,” she said, patting the breast pocket of her jacket.
“I can’t wait to see what’s in it. Will it end all this for you?”
“I hope so, luv.” She glanced at Annabel. “I can’t thank ya enough for all you’ve done. I’d be lost without you.”
Annabel smiled and caressed her hand. “It’s been an adventure, that’s for sure.”
“Well,” Maureen said, turning onto Trevor’s drive. “It’s not over by a long shot.” She winked then. “But we’re so close.”
“It’s kind of exciting to see what’s in that book. And scary.”
Maureen sincerely hoped it was not. She wanted this over. She wanted to tell them all the truth and get on with her life. She glanced at Annabel as she parked the car. Would Annabel want to be part of it? The idea of not knowing the answer made her stomach lurch.
She would soon find out.
Chapter 16
It was almost surreal. When Maureen and Annabel walked into the living room, Michael was playing chess with Trevor with Deirdre standing behind Michael, her hands protectively on his shoulders.
“If you two are going to kibitz…” Trevor looked up when they walked in. “Well. Where did you go? We’ve already eaten. Nurse Ratchet made me.”
“Really, Maureen. Ya had me worried,” Michael said.
Maureen raised an eyebrow as she glanced from Michael to Deirdre. “I don’t think it did you any permanent damage, brother.”
Michael laughed, reaching back to hold Deirdre’s hand. “We’re a lucky family, Maureen.” He winked at Annabel, who bowed slightly. “Now tell us where you two went.”
Maureen grinned and slipped the book out of her breast pocket. Michael’s jaw dropped. Deirdre and Trevor exchanged confused glances.
