by Jenn Vakey
Everything about her statement was confusing. Well, not about new arrivals coming in. I had been told that there were more lately than there normally were at one time, but that it wasn’t uncommon. Apparently there would be times that months would go by without anyone coming in, then there would be a cluster in a few weeks. Rhydian had also mentioned a list of suspected Tainted that they were going to start working through, although we hadn’t talked about it since.
The fact that it was being handled secretively was what had caught my attention. More than that, I was named as one of the few people who could actually be involved. The only thing I could surmise from that was that Rhydian must have not had say in it. Not if it involved secrets and trust. Probably a move on Orson’s part to try to win me over. I wasn’t about to turn down the chance to get out of Alkwin for a little while, but it wasn’t going to earn him any points.
“Sure,” I answered. “What’s the situation?”
“You’ll see tomorrow,” she said with an apologetic smile. “We’re not supposed to talk about it before then.”
I was even more confused, but I agreed. Who was I to question anything right now?
Joury flashed me a wide smile, then turned and walked away. She had a little bounce in her step, which quickly made sense when I saw her moving toward Rhydian. She stopped in front of him and said something, then reached out and touched his arm. It was a move I had seen before. Watching it burned at my insides, but I had earned where I was with him. It was just another reason for me to leave Alkwin when this was over. There might not have been anything going on with them before, but I couldn’t really blame him if he sought comfort in her now.
I sighed, my eyes unable to leave her hand on his arm. It was like I was trying to torture myself. I looked at it so long that I didn’t have time to react when he turned toward me. I cringed and looked up, hoping he had just turned in this general direction, but his eyes were on mine. At that point, it was pointless to try and look away. To pretend I hadn’t been standing there watching them.
Giving her a nod, he stepped away from her and started walking toward me. Damn that obnoxious twisting feeling in my stomach. The irrational hope that he was going to come over here and everything was going to go back to normal. No, I had been right. I needed to get out of Alkwin. I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. It was going to kill me.
“Joury said you’ve agreed to going to the archway in the morning,” he said when he reached the fence surrounding the garden.
“Yeah, if that’s okay,” I said hesitantly, expecting him to tell me that it wasn’t. That he would find someone else to go in my place.
But he nodded instead. “I’m the one who suggested it. You’ll get more details tomorrow when you bring them in. Make sure you’re armed. The reports right now say that all Sentry should be out of the woods, but you still need to keep your guard up.”
I nodded, hiding my surprise that he had been the one to recommend me for this. That really didn’t make sense, but I wasn’t going to question it. As for the other stuff, it wasn’t a concern of mine. I didn’t even really care if it was dangerous. The sadness in me was spiraling to an all-time low. At this point, I didn’t even care anymore what happened to me. I knew that Lillith would be safe with the rest of them going after her. And dangerous meant the chance to fight. I wanted the chance to fight.
“What are you and Lillith going to want to do about sleeping arrangements when she gets here?” he asked when I didn't really respond. “We can move another bed into your room if you want. Dallin said the two of you always liked to stay together. Or we can reserve the empty room next to yours.”
Thinking about it hurt. It was just another reminder that he no longer had any intention of sharing that house on the river with me. That as far as he was concerned, that chapter with us was over. It wouldn’t even surprise me if that was why he was bringing it up now. To make sure that I understood the dorm would be the only place I was welcome.
I shrugged, looking back at the plants. “I don't know. I'll talk to Lillith about what we're going to do when she gets here.”
Whether we were even going to stay, although I couldn't say that to him. I wouldn't tell him until I had decided. If at all. Maybe it would be better for both of us if I just left without saying a word. Without saying bye.
I cleared my throat, feeling the tears that were threatening to fill it, then changed the subject. “What was the update from Dallin? Can you tell me?”
When I looked back at him, I could see that he was hesitating. It caused my frustration with the entire situation to grow.
“I’m not going to go running off into the woods and call someone,” I snapped. “I already gave you the Haller.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” he said quickly, frustration of his own caused by my words. “I don’t want you deciding to run off and try to do this by yourself. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve thought about it.”
I couldn’t argue with him there. I also wasn’t going to even attempt to lie to him.
“I promise I won’t,” I relented. “But only because it would increase the chances of getting my sister killed. Getting her out of there alive is the only thing I care about.”
He looked at me, his questioning eyes moving around my face. I could tell he had caught what I hadn’t said. That I could be killed in attempting it. That it wasn’t something I was concerned about. Not anymore.
“He’s been working with some of our faction on the inside,” he said, that worry not leaving his look. “They’re trying to narrow down a location for us. As soon as we have that, we’ll be ready to go in and get them. But we aren’t going to do it until we have a plan that will get us all back here alive.”
I ignored what he was saying, knowing it was a slippery slope to a conversation neither of us wanted to have. Instead, I asked, “Can the pictures Adler sent me give us a location?”
He sighed, digging his fingers into the back of his neck. “It’s possible, but that would mean having to explain to everyone why I have a Haller with your sister’s pictures on it.”
“Then tell them,” I said, annoyed that we had to have this same conversation all over again. “I’ve already told you that I don’t care. They should know what I did.”
“I care,” he bit back, stopping my argument in its tracks. He had shown me a lot of emotions over the past two weeks, mostly during that first twenty-four hours, but anger wasn’t usually one of them. He certainly hadn't snapped at me like this before, and it left me speechless. “You aren’t going to mention the pictures to anyone until there’s no other choice. Is that clear?”
We stood there staring at each other for several tense moments until I finally nodded. I owed him, and I had to do this his way. Even if it was only to keep him from facing backlash because he had covered it up.
As soon as he had my response, he whirled around and stormed away. I sank back down to the ground, burying my face in my hands. Trying so hard not to break down right there. There were very few things I hated more than a lack of control. That was exactly what this was, and it tore me apart. No matter how much time I put in on the training field to make sure I wasn’t ever helpless when facing the enemy, nothing could overcome the feeling that came with this situation I had gotten myself into.
After taking the time to pull myself back together, I finished the last of the garden and dropped my harvest off in the kitchen in the dining hall. Then I made my way to the clinic for my hours.
There wasn’t really anything for me to do other than be there in the event that something happened, so I walked into the first room on the right and climbed onto the bed. Then I just sat there and stared out of the window.
I shouldn’t have promised Rhydian that I wouldn’t attempt to rescue my sister alone. To keep my thoughts occupied over the past weeks, planning for just that had been what I had spent my free time thinking about. Plans from finding a way to get into Alkwin to turning myself over and hoping the Se
ntry took me to the place where they held the others. Thinking about it now that I had made that stupid promise wasn’t the same. It was like the reality of it had all been stripped away. Like being a little girl daydreaming about growing up to become a princess. Knowing in the back of your mind that it could never happen.
Ironic, isn’t it?
All I was left with now was planning out what would happen next. After the raid on Eden when I had my sister back. I would have to convince her that we couldn’t stay here. Dallin too, assuming that he would be leaving Eden with us. Orson would probably work in my favor on that one. I had a feeling neither of them would be keen on the idea of hanging around here with him being the leader.
Several minutes passed with me lost in my thoughts before something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. When I looked over, I saw a child standing in the doorway looking at me. She was young, seven or eight, with brown curly hair. Her eyes studied me with a look that seemed much too old for her young little body, then she gave me an approving nod.
“I like the haircut,” she said confidently. “It makes you look like a warrior, less of a princess.”
I laughed at that, thinking it was probably the funniest thing I had heard in a while. “Nothing about me says princess.”
“The hair did,” she said, her voice rich with sass. Then she walked further in and climbed up onto the bed, sitting down beside me. I didn’t recognize her, which was strange since I was on child duty twice a week. I had made a point of getting to know all of the children by name, hoping that it would prevent another situation like the one I’d had with Jordi in the woods. It was apparent that she knew who I was, though. Enough that she noticed my haircut.
“He’s been pretty down for the last couple weeks,” she said, giving me a thoughtful look.
I smiled, my eyes turning to her hair now. Then her eyes, the pieces quickly falling together. “I don’t think it would help his mood any if he knew you were sneaking out of your room,” I said. “Even with the new hair color to disguise you. I like it, though.”
The young princess gave me a sardonic smile. “Have you ever stayed in a room for three weeks?” I shook my head. “I’m going crazy. The most fun I’ve had was getting to pick out what color I wanted my hair. That’s only because I got to watch him make that funny face where he rolls his eyes when I told him I wanted it to be the same color as yours.”
I chuckled, actually picturing it for myself. I hadn’t been aware that Rhydian had told his sister about me at all. It couldn’t have been easy for her to make such a request with everything that was going on with us now. Looking at the color, though, which was actually very close to mine, I was surprised he had agreed.
“So, Myrah, what should I call you now? I’m assuming you’re following in your brother’s footsteps and picking a new name.”
She sighed heavily. “He said I needed to. That it’s going to be safer that way. Soon I’ll actually be able to go outside again. Ev–Rhydian said I even get to start training since I’m eight. Like you did. I can see you sometimes from the window in my room. You’re getting really good.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving her what was probably the first real smile that I had managed in weeks. She was a lot sweeter than I would have thought. Not that I really had any experience with royals before Rhydian. He’d definitely had a sweet streak to him, but it was one I’d had to work to see. But Myrah didn’t seem to have that problem. I actually found myself really liking her.
“When are they going to rescue your sister?” she asked.
I smiled again. “You really have been bored if you’ve been eavesdropping on adult conversations.”
She nodded dramatically, her curls bouncing around her face.
“Hopefully soon. We’ll know more after help comes.”
“You mean the people from the other camp,” she stated.
I laughed. “Yes, the people from the other camp.”
She sighed, her little smirk falling away as she met my eye. “He’s not still mad, you know.”
My chest clenched as I looked at her hesitantly. How much had he actually told her? Apparently not enough for her to dislike me. Still, it had been a surprise enough that she even knew who I was. I never even considered he would have talked to her about what had transpired that awful night.
“He wouldn’t tell me why,” she added, as if sensing where my thoughts had gone. “But he’s not still mad. I think he thinks he is, but he’s really just sad. He misses you.”
I swallowed down the knots that had pushed their way up into my throat. I wished that was the case, but I couldn’t exactly trust an eight-year-old’s judgement on this one.
“I miss him too,” I admitted. And, God, I did. So much that it hurt.
Myrah gave me a sad little smile and dropped her head down on my shoulder.
“So, what are you going to be called?” I asked, shifting to a less depressing subject.
She raised her shoulders up in a shrug. “I don’t know yet, but he said I needed to figure it out soon.”
“Well,” I said, tapping my finger playfully on my chin. “How about… Elyza?”
She made a sound and shook her head. I chuckled. “Darya?”
“I had a maid named Darya,” she responded.
“Of course you did,” I muttered, the idea of having a maid funny to me. “Aaila?” Another head shake. “Kensi?” And another. “Linley?”
She sat still for a moment, then said, “I like it. It’s an L name like yours.”
Her words made me want to cry for a completely different reason than any of the other times over the past several weeks. I’d never had anyone want to be like me before. Now the hair, the name. It actually sparked a bit of happiness in the darkness that had consumed me.
“I like it too,” I told her. “You definitely look like a Linley.”
She responded by snuggling closer toward me. I didn’t really know how Rhydian was going to feel about this, but I had the sneaking suspicion that it wouldn’t be long before Myrah–or Linley–duty was added to my job list. I hoped that it would be. I liked spending time with her. The little thing had a way of lightening my mood in a way that no one else could.
“Leeya?” she asked timidly. I shifted my head so I could look down at the young princess. “How do we know the people coming in are safe?”
There was so much concern in those beautiful green eyes of hers. I could understand her fears, though. I felt them too. So I said the only thing that I could think of that would put her mind at ease. The same thing that gave me some semblance of comfort with the situation.
“Rhydian would never let in anyone who would hurt you.”
She thought about it for a moment before accepting the statement and adding, “Or you.”
I gave her a gentle smile, hiding the pain the idea brought me. I had no one to protect me other than myself. Not really. At least not more than the people here protected anyone within Alkwin.
“You’ll keep me safe, won’t you?” she asked.
I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Always,” I promised.
We sat quietly after that. It didn’t take long before her breathing evened out and her little body relaxed as she fell asleep in my arms. I couldn’t imagine how the last few weeks had been for her. She hadn’t been alone, but she had been shut away from the world. Her father had been killed only a day after he said goodbye to her. Sending her to live with a brother that she probably didn’t even remember. All of that just a week after the brother that she did know had been murdered in their home.
Oh, how I hoped that she hadn’t been around when he was discovered.
About an hour passed before there was movement in the doorway again. When I looked back over, I saw Noella standing there. A concerned look on her face.
“She apparently got bored,” I whispered.
Her tension relaxed some as she rolled her eyes and walked in. There was still a qu
estion there in her eyes, but she didn’t ask it. As far as I knew, no one knew that I was aware of the hidden away princess. No one had mentioned anything to me about her, and Noella would have been at the top of that list if it were going to happen. Given her relaxing expression, though, she must have assumed someone had told me. There was no sign there that I was in for a lecture about the importance of keeping her existence here secret.
I helped Noella carefully move her off of the bed, then we took her back to her room and put her in bed. She didn’t even stir as we walked back out, gently closing the door.
“Did anyone see her?” Noella asked.
I shook my head and walked with her to the main room. “You might want to be careful what gets said in here, though. That girl’s like a sponge.”
“Noted,” she smirked. “I have a feeling that one is going to be a handful around here.”
CHAPTER SIX
LEEYA
It was still dark when I left the dorm and met Joury outside. Of all of the residents of the dorm, she was the one that I’d spent the least amount of alone time with. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her. She was actually really sweet. It was the whole Rhydian situation.
Before everything happened with Adler, I had suspected that Joury had a thing for Rhydian. The way he was with me, though, didn’t leave me with the impression it was anything more than just an infatuation on her part. Now I had no idea where things stood between the two of them. He’d made it clear that he didn’t see a future with us. Did that mean that he was interested in pursuing one with her?
I didn’t really want to think about it.
“So, can you tell me what’s so special about this retrieval?” I asked, walking with her along the path toward the archway. I needed the distraction. Anything to keep me from remembering the events from the last time I had made this trip.
“Sorry,” she said with an apologetic look. She flipped her short black hair back, tucking it behind her ear. There was an excitement in the way that she walked that said there was a lot going on here that I didn’t know about. More than just a simple retrieval like I had been on before. “Rhydian wants to explain everything when we get back.”
