“Who knows, we know he pretended to be Helena’s real father and never told a soul otherwise. We don’t know why he left her behind with a known abuser after claiming to care so much about her.”
My voice was bitter.
Now I knew why he’d been so fucking nervous the night of the costume party. I had my suspicions but Uncle Julian had already been digging.
Thinking over everything, it truly didn’t make sense. He claim told my Uncle he left the Helena behind because her mother threatened to tell about us, and his real association with the family.
If it were me I would have planted the stupid bitch twelve feet under before I let her keep harming my child, or in Heath’s case, my niece.
The situation just wasn’t adding up.
“How was she when you dropped her off?” I asked, needing a momentary subject change.
Ethan went to the fridge and pulled it open, releasing a heavy breath.
“Helena is…I think she’s everything we need. But I don’t know how to get through to her. It’s like receiving a gift you’ve been asking for, for years, only to not be able to open the damn package.”
Stroking my chin, I took a seat on one of the bar stools.
“And what about you,” I abruptly asked.
“Huh?” his face twisted in confusion.
I braced my hands on the breakfast bar, releasing a sigh.
“We can plan all this out for her, talk about the life we want to live together like a big happy family, but do you have intentions of staying?”
He sighed now, and sat his mini apple juice on the counter. “I was wondering when we’d have this conversation.”
“Now seems as good a time as any.”
“You’re right, it does. We should work our shit out before we drag that beautiful girl any further into it.”
I raised my brows at his assertive tone.
“So, you think I’m going to leave again? After moving in here, which is exactly what I did seeing as half my shit is in the closet and I go nowhere else to lay my head at night. After being together every day for over ninety days you’re still questioning if I’m going to stay?”
“Is the ninety days a significant part of your argument? Because that’s nothing compared to how long we were together the first time.”
“I left to find myself Declan, and that had nothing to do with you. You’re my best fucking friend, my partner. I knew you’d understand, least I thought you would.” He shrugged.
I did understand, actually. I knew sometimes soul searching was a necessary part of life. There was nothing worse than not knowing who you were.
It made me feel like an even bigger asshole than usual that I hadn’t realized he’d been lost.
“I’m not going anywhere. I mean, always would’ve came back regardless and if you would have had someone else, well, you know how I like to deal with certain issues. But we don’t need to worry about that because I’m here to stay.” He grinned at me with all his boyish charm.
The same charm he always used to make panties drop and straight men bend over.
“Plus,” he continued after another drink of his juice. “I and you are endgame. If you haven’t figured out how much I love you’re arrogant, cocky ass, then I’ve been doing a shit job showing it.”
And there it was.
I wasn’t floored, taken aback, or shocked by his submission. I’d always known I loved him. I was pretty positive he’d always loved me, long before I began fucking his sweet ass in high school.
Who wouldn’t love me though? I was gorgeous, rich, had a big dick, and could do that thing with my tongue that all the girls loved.
Oh, and I would hide a body for you if you asked nicely.
Anyone who didn’t like me, well fuck them they clearly had terrible taste in men and friends.
“And if you haven’t figured out that I love you too, then we really have nothing else to discuss,” I stated casually.
But I meant it, loving him. My many positive attributes aside, Ethan was my equal, a part of me I couldn’t give up if I wanted to. He was the strawberry.
And now…we had our center.
“I know you love me. I’m Ethan Jackson,” he shrugged, making me laugh.
“Something you said made me realize something else,” I said after enjoying a moment of easy silence together.
“And that is?”
“Helena doesn’t know who she is. She identifies as sick. Everything resorts back to that.”
“So…how do we get around that?”
“We go back to the seed, uncover the roots. We need to nourish that part of her. I think getting that to flourish is the key to truly making her ours, and making her feel less than empty.
He nodded, taking a sip of his juice. “I think you’re right, which means tonight is the right thing to do. But you know what else?”
“What?”
He gave me a sly smirk.
“We’ve got at least an hour before we need to pick her up.”
He sat his empty drink carton on the counter, and started to take off his shirt.
Chapter Twenty
Helena
Working was different than I expected.
There wasn’t anything extraneous or difficult about arranging trays of baked goods.
Tonya was a fast learner, figuring out that place me behind the counter to deal with customers wasn’t a wise business decision.
People came in with their smiling faces and overly eager greetings, and I just couldn’t relate.
There was no way all of these people were truly this friendly. Being away from Mother’s was quickly teaching me that majority of people were pretenders.
The day was uneventful for the most part. Tonya talked, and then responded to herself.
I texted Ethan a bit ago that I was ready to leave and he replied right away he was coming.
When I called Dad though, three times to be exact, he didn’t answer a single one.
That…made my chest ache again. Wasn’t he worried I hadn’t come back? I didn’t have any missed calls or messages from him.
I think I…trusted Ethan and Declan. I didn’t know them very well, but from our time together I didn’t think they were going to hurt me.
They made me…come.
They fed me, gave me a warm place to sleep, and they talked to me as if I were a normal girl instead of a petulant, unwanted child.
There was one thing they did though, effortlessly. Without doing anything but being themselves, they made me feel as if I was more than an empty vessel.
Feelings were fleeting for me, so I held onto them tightly as long as I could. So what was I to do when they didn’t want a girl as sick as me anymore?
I didn’t know how to hold onto people without fixing them first. I dare say I was beginning to worry for once in life.
I worried the urge, the temptation that slithered down my spine and festered in my brain would get to be too much. I would fill them with stuffing and sew them up next.
How did I control it?
How did I make it stop?
I thought of this as I was waiting for Ethan to arrive, and during this time Molly showed up.
She came rushing into the building in a flurry of chilled air and pink cheeks.
“Good, you’re here!” she exclaimed when she spotted me sitting at one of the tables. “Tell me what the heck is going on,” she demanded, taking a seat across from me.
I stared at her, not knowing what she meant.
“Oh, don’t give me that. My house has turned into a war zone over Heath’s secrets and they all have something to do with you.” She pointed a finger in my face, the nail almost touching the center of my nose.
It reminded me of Mother.
“And now you’re living with the Andreous? What the hell, Helena. You acted like you didn’t even know them.”
I didn’t like her yelling at me, or her finger being so close to my face.
“Stop,” I said, shoving he
r hand down to the table.
I pinned it there until her jaw slackened, eyes slightly widening as she stared at me with some emotion on her face I’d never seen before.
Tonya kept busy wiping down a glass display window.
I think she was pretending too.
Outside, the same car that had been in front of Dad’s, pulled up to the curb in front of the little shop.
“Declan.” Standing up, I grabbed the box of cookies Tonya had given me and made my way out of the bakery. “Goodbye, Molly, Tonya,” I said before stepping outside.
Ethan got out of the passenger side before I reached the car.
He wasn’t in a suit, just a pair of dark jeans and a fitted black shirt that had quarter-inch sleeves, hugging the muscles I now knew was underneath.
Such a pretty man.
“You look nice,” I told him.
I got a blink first, and then a big smile. “Thank you, baby girl.”
He opened the back door for me, holding my cookies when I got in, handing me the box back when my restraint was buckled.
Declan turned his upper body from the driver seat and smiled at me.
He wasn’t in a suit either.
He’s beautiful too.
I had to do something to make sure we would never be apart.
“You look nice,” I told him as well.
“Handing out compliments now? You must want something.”
“Yes,” I replied, not understanding he was joking.
“You do?” Ethan questioned, now back in the car.
Declan pulled away from the curb, and began driving through town.
“I want to come.”
Ethan made a sound that turned into a cough, clearing his throat.
“You’re going to come, sweetheart. You’re going to come hard, over and over until you’ve come so much you can’t feel your legs and forget your own name,” Declan replied. “But first,” his eyes met mine in the center mirror, “You ready to have some fun?”
It was dark out when we reached our destination.
Now sitting comfortably in Declan’s backseat, I ate my fast food with no complaint.
I had never had waffle fries before, or cheese sauce. I’d never gotten to eat a ‘juicy burger,’ as Ethan called it either. Not this kind at least. The rare chance I got to eat a burger at Mother’s, it was always really pink underneath.
“You see that building?” Declan pointed to a square wooden structure that was in the same shape Mother’s house was.
“Yes,” I replied around my straw.
“The three of us are going to go in, and you’re going to pick out one person that’s broken, can be male or female. And then we’re going to take them home and fix them.”
I studied the building a moment, wondering what kind of place it was. At the mention of fixing things, though, I didn’t care.
I’d been wondering when I would be able to make something better again since my bird.
“When do we go?”
“Now,” Ethan answered.
We put all of our empty wrappers and fry cartons in the same bag, and then got out.
I wiggled my nose as the cold quickly began to irritate it.
Sandwiched between the two of them, we made our way inside the building.
Inside, they secured us a booth that allowed us to see the room as a whole. Taking my first look around, this place didn’t seem very clean, neither did the people inside.
The stench of cigarette smoke, fried foods, and alcohol was heavy in the air. From wall to wall were pictures of naked women and slogans.
“This isn’t our usual hang out,” Ethan explained. “And it won’t be yours either. The first time we really go out together, the bar will be prestige and exclusive.”
I liked the sound of that more than this place already.
Men and women conversed loudly, some danced provocatively as a song about codeine played from a loudspeaker.
“See anyone?” Declan asked me after we’d been inside for a bit.
He and Ethan had ordered something so we didn’t stand out as an odd group inside the establishment.
“Yes,” I replied.
I’d been undecided between a man with a ponytail and a woman with a bob.
The woman had disappeared down a dark hall twice since we’d been there.
Each time she returned wiping beneath her nose.
People who did drugs did things like that, and if she did drugs then something inside her wasn’t working. She was making it worse by using.
Her outfit was another matter.
The skirt was weather inappropriate and her shirt looked a size too small.
Could she not feel the cold?
Her eyes had found Ethan and Declan multiple times already from across the room.
They must have noticed because when I subtly pointed her out they knew exactly who I’d been referring to.
“I got this one,” Ethan said, sliding from the booth.
Declan slid out after him, holding out a hand for me. “Me and you are going to the back.”
I took his warm hand, glancing down when he laced our fingers together.
He led me through the bar and down a narrow hall, pushing open a wooden door on the right.
It was a bathroom, a gross one. The light was dull and the smell was a mixture of anti-septic and urine.
Taking me further into the room, he suddenly dropped my hand, turned around, and grabbed my hips, pulling me into him.
His cologne infiltrated my senses, easing away the grossness surrounding us. He was firm, strong and had me in his arms.
His silver eyes zeroed in on mine; making my chest lightens the longer he stared.
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” he said after a moment.
“Dec—.”
His lips came down on mine, cutting me off. Palms slid to my ass, squeezing and kneading, pressing me further into him.
Tongues clashed, my hands found their way to his hair. A small moan came from my throat.
I felt his cock hardening and rubbed myself against it.
“Helena,” he breathed, placing a hand between us. His fingers went to the band of my jeans, easing underneath.
Deft digits played with my slit and clit, making me wet again.
A small breath was pulled into my lungs when they delved inside my pussy.
“You’re already soaked,” he groaned.
Fingers pumping fast and hard, sloshing sounds began to come from between my legs.
Juices dribbled down my right thigh, saturating the thin thong I’d put on that morning.
I began rocking into him, grabbing his shoulders and spreading my feet apart.
“That’s it, ride my fingers, sweetheart.”
He kissed me again fiercer this time, nipping at my lower lip until I whimpered. I couldn’t get enough of whatever this was.
Someone stumbled into the room behind us, uttering a curse before they laughed and left.
That isn’t what made us stop, though. That didn’t bother either one of us.
It was the chirping of his phone what ultimately made him pull away.
Removing his fingers from inside me, he sucked them into his mouth, loudly slurping off my juices before he checked his notification.
The simple act had me clenching my thighs together.
How was I going to walk with my bottoms so drenched?
“He’s got her,” Declan stated, taking hold of my hand.
“How?” I asked, following him out of the grungy bathroom. My thighs rubbed uncomfortably together at our quick pace.
“I’ll let him tell you on the way home.”
We left out the back of the bar, going straight to the car Ethan already had running and waiting for us.
Chapter Twenty-One
Helena
The sky was unleashing a heavy downpour when we got back to the Dahlia.
I waited in the warm car as they got the woman inside and up to what I’d heard called
a red room, and a play room, twice now.
When Ethan returned to get me, he had a large umbrella open, shielding him from the rain.
He cut the engine and patiently waited for me to get out, ushering me inside and up the stairs.
Every step had my wet underwear serving as a refresher of Declan’s fingers inside me.
I remembered the inside of the château from Hollows Eve, but I hadn’t seen the code box or the set of double black doors.
Ethan shut him umbrella and led me through them, into a hallway lined with multiple shut doors with lights above them, ten or eleven in total.
The hall split into a T shape at the end leading to a place I couldn’t see.
Glancing up, I saw that four of the lights were red, the rest were green.
“The red mean someone’s working. The green means the room is ready to be used,” Ethan explained.
“Used for what?” I asked, walking alongside him.
“We make special movies for people.”
“The ones with the shimmery red light?”
He laughed, stopping outside of room ten, knocking twice on the door. “That’s one way to describe it, but yeah.”
“Is this a Hostel?”
“Like the movie?” he asked as the door swung open.
“What movie?” Declan questioned.
“She asked if this was a hostel, like that movie,” Ethan explained to him, pushing me into the room with a gentle hand on my back.
“Our system is completely different, but that’s actually a really good way to think of it, on a basic level.”
I hummed a response like I’d seen him do, and looked around the room.
It was a large space, and had a clear cut resemblance to his bedroom, all the way down to the bed sitting all the way in the rear of the room.
I bypassed the naked girl from the bar, tied down in a chair like the one I’d seen before, and explored.
Pausing again, I stared into a fiber glass cage full of fluttering moths.
They were almost clear in color, and slightly fuzzy.
“I raise them,” Declan said from behind me. “And collect them,” he gestured to a preserve of the largest one yet.
This was the kind glued to my skull. There was a skull of its own on the back of its head, unlike the others clear in color and that he had a portrait of, it was yellow and black like a bee.
DEPRAVITY: Love Depraved Page 12
