by Penny Blush
“What’s that?” I asked pointing to the envelope.
"Oh right. It's for you. Very official looking," Jaxon said giving it to me.
I took the envelope tore it open and squealed jumping up and down like a crazy person trying not to lose my towel, clapping my hands excitedly like a five-year-old.
“Cuz what the hell?!” Jax scratched at his ears as I tightened the towel around my body. I didn’t want to traumatise him by flashing him my bra and knickers.
“Sorry, I’m just really excited,” I said a smile a mile wide on my face. “It’s my new ID.” Jumping excitedly, I continued, “Now I can go to the bank. Get new cards. Access my cash!” I gasped “OH-MY-GOD. JAX! SHOPPING!” I squealed again, jumping and victory dancing all around the room.
“Okay crazy lady,” Jax said hands out in front of him, as he backed away like he was trying to get away from a wild animal. “I don’t know who you are or how you got in my house,” he looked over his shoulder looking for an escape route, “But Imma’ gonna call the cops… Mmmkay”
“Oh, shut it,” I laughed, as I smacked him in the chest with the envelope. “This is the first good thing that has happened in months!” I sucked in a shocked breath covering my mouth with my hands, “Ohhhhh and it happened on the first day of ‘Operation Restart My Life’! Do-do, do-do…”
"Oh, now I know you've lost it. You think getting a new ID is what, some sort of cosmic sign? The universe is speaking to you through the postal service," he wiggled his fingers at me "Spooky."
“You have to admit it’s kinda freaky,” I said with my hands on my hips.
“Whatever, hurry up and find something to wear, I’ve got to be at work in like twenty minutes.”
“But I wanna go shopping!” I whined in my best bimbo voice, stomping my foot.
“Sorry Doll, not right now I have to get to work." Jax walked to me spinning me round by the shoulders to face the closet. "You have to find something to wear then come with me to check out your new job and your new home," he finished shoving me between the shoulders. "Business first, shopping later."
“Fine but then can I please, pleeeeeaaaaasssseee borrow your car so that I can go to the bank and then go shopping?” I put on a full suck-up display, hands clutched in prayer, batting eyelids, pouting lips.
“If you are in the car in…” he checked his watch “…fifteen minutes, you can borrow it.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Jax turned and walked into the bathroom mumbling to something about kids these days as he left me to get ready.
Fifteen minutes later I jumped into the truck ready for Jax to drive me to my new life. It’s amazing what a girl can do with a time limit, a boy’s closet and makeup rolling around the bottom of your bag.
“Cuz, question,” I said clicking my seatbelt, “why do you of all people, have a hipster style long singlet in your drawer? Do you need to tell me something? Are you going all metrosexual on me? Have you started only eating socially conscious foods? Are you going to start being ironic on purpose and not actually in an ironic way? Oooh if you start doing yoga can I come with? I love yoga.”
“Shut it smart ass. It was a rush purchase,” he said backing out of the driveway. “I wanted a wife-beater and just grabbed the first thing I saw. I wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing, which is why it was sitting in the back of the drawer."
“Why didn’t you return it?”
Jax didn’t reply just gave me a look that said, “Excuse me, little girl, I am a man. The very manliest of men and manly men do not return things. We don't admit that we made a mistake and purchased something so ludicrous."
"Well just so that you know, I'm claiming it."
“Sooo not gonna argue.”
I was seriously worried that I was going to have to wear my gym gear today. I was so glad that I found the dark grey long hipster style singlet top in Jax’ drawer, the long soft material worked perfectly as a dress for me. The singlet top hung at mid-thigh, the arm holes were too long, but with my purple and grey, animal print sports bra showing at the sides, it took the outfit from daggy to flirty.
After months of not caring, I put my poor hair out of its misery and actually did it, and I’m fairly sure that I heard my hair sigh in relief. I braided it across the front and pulling the rest up into a high ponytail, wrapping the end of the braid around to hide the band. As a hairdresser, my hair usually is styled within an inch of its life, but since not having a job meant that I didn't have to see anyone, I stopped caring, and I got incredibly lazy, which meant my hair got very messy.
I found my emergency makeup stash in my handbag and applied mascara, a dusting of bronze eye shadow and a swipe of lip gloss. Nothing too fancy, but it had the desired effect of making me look and feel better than I had in weeks, if not months.
I had crashed at Jax place so often and had left a few things behind over time that I at least had enough makeup to do the job, a handbag and thanks to the black flip-flops that I left at Thomas's apartment, I didn't have to exit the house in my running shoes.
#Winning!
Ten minutes later, Jax pulled into his parking space behind the tattoo shop and walked me through the back door, past a few closed doors and onto the shop floor.
“Welcome to Barber Shop Ink,” Jax announced proudly with his arms outstretched. Barber Shop Ink was set up in an old, well, barber shop. “This used to be Memphis’ Pop’s barber shop,” Jax explained. “After Pops died and left him the building, he turned it into a tattoo parlour. Which was the logical choice considering that Memph knows nothing about being a barber,” he laughed.
There was still a lot of the old barber shop left that it was easily identifiable. The striped pole was still out the front, the mirrors still on the walls and there were two barber chairs in the front windows. It was sweet, cute really, but that was all that was left, the rest of the ex-barber shop remained decorated with tattoo paraphernalia. It was 1950's barber shop meets modern day tattoo chic, and it worked.
“Where is everyone, I thought you opened at twelve?” I asked, circling the shop floor noticing that Jax was no longer in the room.
In answer to my question, the back door exploded open to the sounds of male laughter and roughhousing. So, occasionally my inner monologue is an Eighty-year-old woman.
“Jax Baby!” A loud voice boomed, “How are you doing?”
“Wot up Bro?” Another male voice asked, followed by the sound of hands slapping and thumping of backs.
“Hi, Jaxon how are you on this bright sunny day?” A sweet, female voice asked. I turned towards the voices and saw a giant dark-skinned man who was covered in tattoos walking down the hallway towards me.
“Well hello there and who might you be?” The giant asked.
The giant was then promptly joined by a hipster looking dude with a faux-hawk, large gauges in his ears, a short-sleeved button up and suspenders. He looked me up and down before saying, "Hey, Hey, beautiful how may I service you?”
Okay wow, who the hell are these guys?
Usually, I love meeting new people. I am comfortable around strangers, and I can read people with ease so that within a few minutes I have them figured out. This morning, though, I didn’t expect to be confronted by two larger than life personalities without Jax being around. I guess I still have a way to go to getting back to my confident self. I could feel my sparkly awesomeness slipping a little and panic rising a little.
“Umm Jax,” I said, eyeing both men. “Jax!” I called louder, taking a subtle step back.
“What?!”
“Can you come here?” I called back, slight panic in my voice. “You need to get over here, please.”
“Jeez woman, always with the yelling,” Jax walked back out to the shop floor with his arm draped around the shoulders of a cute little pixie with washed out bubble gum pink hair.
“Shit sorry Cuz,” Jax said giving me his ‘are you okay’ look. It was a look that we had developed when we were kids so that he could ask if
I was doing okay without using words. After my parents died and my brother redeployed, I started having panic attacks if I was left alone for too long or if I was in a room by myself that was full of people I didn’t know.
Jax came up with the ‘are you okay’ look after I flipped out and bit my uncle’s head off when all he did was ask me if I was okay. Having people constantly, asking if I was okay and whether I felt like I was going to lose my shit pissed me off no to end.
After it had happened a few too many times, my aunt took me to the doctor, who asked a lot of questions and ran a heap of tests. The doctor told us that the panic attacks were the physical manifestation of my fear of being abandoned and left alone with people who I didn’t know and who didn’t know me.
After twelve or so months of therapy to help me deal with my parent’s death, my brother leaving and my life, in general, being turned upside down, I was coping. I haven’t had a panic attack since I was seventeen and travelled overseas by myself. It was silly really; I’d woken up in my hotel room not knowing where I was and called Jax in hysterics. He stayed on the phone with me until I calmed down and started laughing at how ridiculous I had been.
I don’t even know what it was about the two men that stood in front of me now, that had my panic sensors pinging when all they’d done was say, “Hi.” The last month had affected me more than I realised and I was grateful that Jax could still pick up on my anxiety.
“Sorry Cuz,” he said, again as and I gave a slight nod to indicate that I was okay, “let me make some introductions.”
“Cuz?! Dang-it.” hipster dude said under his breath, taking a visible step back. “What?” He looked at Jax, “she’s hot, but she’s related to you so…"
“So, you're shit-outta-luck," Jaxon interrupted the hipster dude giving him stink-eye, ending the conversation. "CUZ," Jax said with extra emphasis as he moved to the giant slapping his hand on the man's shoulder, "this is Mason Grimes, one of our tattoo artists."
“Please call me Bear,” the giant boomed, his deep voice rattling through my chest. His handshake was firm but without crushing my fingers.
“Hi, Bear. It's a pleasure to meet you,” I replied smiling.
There was something in the way he introduced himself that immediately put me at ease. Although he was an enormous man with a big booming voice, he had a way about him that made me think that he was a gentle giant. Bear had an aura that put you at ease giving off a – I’m a cute fluffy, cuddly teddy bear - vibe instead of a – I am going to murder you with my bare hands – vibe.
“This douche-bag,” Jaxon said, feigning a gut punch to the hipster “is William James Bishop, another tattoo artist.”
“Everyone just calls me Bishop,” hipster dude said, taking my hand, placing a lingering kiss on my knuckles. Jaxon slapped him upside the head. “What? It’s hard to just, turn off this much swag,” Bishop winked at me, “the struggle is real.”
With that, I knew that he was just playing and there was nothing lecherous in his actions, and again my previous worry was relieved.
“Nice to meet you, Bishop,” I laughed.
In the space of ten minutes, Jaxon had introduced me to two charming, sweet guys who I could sense would become great friends. The previous panic and anxiety I felt quickly dissipating.
Jax walked back to the pixie again slinging an arm across her shoulders, “and last, but not least, this lovely little sprite…” he said, smiling down at her with an odd sparkle in his eyes, “…Is Cassidy Aims, our very talented piercing and body mods technician.”
The little pixie wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a big squeeze, then blushed retracting her arms like she hadn’t meant to hug him.
“Hi, Cassidy it’s nice to meet you too, awesome hair by the way."
“Oh yeah, she’s a hairdresser,” Jax said to Cassidy, pointing at me, “you can hook Cassidy, up right?”
“Yeah sure, anytime,” I replied, “I’d love to.”
With the introductions complete, Jaxon said, “Guys,” raising a hand in my direction, “this is my cousin….”
“Hedge,” I quickly cut in before he could give my real name. Hey, if Memphis, had to earn the right to know what my name is, so did the rest of them.
Jax tilted his head in question at me, and I shrugged in reply, “Right-o. Guys, this is my cousin and hopefully our new Manager – Hedge.”
“Wow, cool name!” Cassidy exclaimed, skipping over to give me a hug. Okay wow, so she’s friendly.
“Does Memphis know?” Bear asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at Jax.
“Yeah, he met her last night and offered her the job,” Jax explained.
“Where is the Boss Man?” I asked, looking past everyone hoping to see him come walking in the back door. I still hadn’t gotten a good look at him. Not very politically correct of me, I know. But I wanted to know if he had the face to go with the tall, broad-shouldered, long-legged, bearded, growly voiced Sex-God thing he had going on.
A mobile phone pinged. “Memphis just texted me,” Jaxon said, looking at his phone, “he told me to say sorry, but something came up this morning and that he wouldn’t be able to meet up until sometime after three.”
“Oh, Okay. Well, that works out better actually. That will give me a chance to go and do all the running around I have to do,” I said, trying not to sound too disappointed that he wasn’t here to meet me. “Jax, can I have the keys, please?” I asked holding my hand out.
“Doll, I know you’ve been out of the world for a while but this…” Jax said, waving his hands around the shop, “…is called work. Work is what grown-ups do to earn money.”
“You like the use of your hands? ‘Cos if you could be a dick on someone else’s time, that would be great,” I retorted giving him a stern look, placing my hands on my hips.
When we were sixteen, he kept annoying me while I was trying to study. He had reached out to grab my book from me for the third time and having had enough, I shot my hand out bring my fist down on the back of his hand, fracturing a bone in it. He should have known not to mess a Jiu-Jitsu brown belt while she was studying.
“Man, you woke up on the bossy side of the couch this morning,” he shot back, “why don’t you just start without Memphis?”
I crossed my arms glaring at him, “and how pray tell O-Masterful genius am I supposed to fill out the paperwork that ‘Grown-ups' are required to fill out when they get a job without the proper documents?" I raised an eyebrow at him as I could see the wheels turning in his brain. I started counting things off on my fingers, "and where am I supposed to put my wages without access to my bank account? You seem to forget that I no longer have ID, a licence, bank cards, documentation of my qualifications, oh yeah and clothes!”
“All right you made your point,” Jax replied, huffing.
At the confused look on the others faces; I added, “I lost everything I owned when my home burnt down a few months ago.”
“Oh God, that’s terrible,” Cassidy gasped as the boys mumbled similar sentiments.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, waving my hand dismissively, “it’s fine, I’m over it.”
I turned back to Jax, “So to be a ‘grown-up’ I need to go and sort out some ‘grown-up’ things.” Rubbing my hands together and once again batted my eyes at him. “So, the car, can I have it please, please, pleeeese? Mumma needs her pretties.”
“God, could you be any more annoying?” Jax threw his keys at me. "Go, and just so you know the eye thing doesn't work on me."
“Yeah right,” I said, heading to the back door holding his keys in the air victoriously.
Eye batting worked every time.
“Be back by three,” he yelled at my back.
"Yes, dad!" I called back, the sounds of laughter following me out the door.
Chapter 11 Hedge
Three hours later the back seats of Jax truck were packed full of bags. It's easy to take having clothing and shoes that fit, basic hygiene products and toiletr
ies for granted. It’s not until you lose everything that you realise how much stuff you need just to function as a normal human being.
Also, I didn’t realise how much I missed shopping. The simple act of buying something just because I needed it or wanted it had been a luxury that I have taken for granted. Shopping was something that I haven’t been able to indulge in over the last few months. I knew that Jaxon didn't mind and he knew that I would pay him back, but it has been humiliating to have to ask Jaxon for money to buy basic everyday essentials like underwear and a toothbrush.
Only having a few hours to get my new licence, bank cards and do a little shopping, helped to prioritise and reign in my spending. I felt infinitely happier having new clothing that belonged to me, that wasn't borrowed and that fit. I bought sleepwear that was in my size and not ten times too big from the men’s department. I now owned a variety of casual clothing, a few lovely pieces for going out and new workout gear. After living in the two pairs of leggings and the few tank tops that I owned for the past few months, the only thing they were good for was the bin.
I was secretly happy that I hadn’t been able to access my accounts for a while all my savings, my wages (until I lost my job) and the insurance money sat untouched gaining interest. I had plenty of funds that allowed me to drop a sizable amount in Victoria’s Secret and Mac Cosmetics before hitting the tech store replacing my laptop and tablet.
There were a few essentials that I had to call my special connections to procure. There were some items which one just simply could not purchase retail. These things I couldn't possibly live without, even if I never used them there was a comfort in knowing that I could access them if needed.
With each step toward getting my life back together, I could feel my sparkle reserves filling up. I felt happy, energised and ready to face any new challenges the universe served up.
