It was devastating. And it was Cal’s fault.
“I think if I talked to him, I’d just start yelling. Or crying. And I don’t know which one is worse.”
Kelli shrugged. “Maybe he deserves both.”
I gave her a crooked smile. “Thanks, Kelli. But the only person I need in my corner is you.”
Kelli lifted her chin. “And I will always be here for you, babe.”
“Promise?” I asked. Kelli was a bright light in my life. Even though we hadn’t spent nearly as much time together over the last year as I’d wanted—or even talked on the phone as much as I wanted—she was still my forever person. The one I wanted to go to with news, good or bad. The one who could make me feel better on my darkest days. She was the one I wanted to lift up, to encourage, to run beside on this journey called life.
Kelli leaned forward and clasped her hands over mine. “No matter what. You’re my best friend, Lina. Nothing will ever change that. Unless you get super famous and meet John Krasinski and never introduce me to him. Then I would have words for you.”
I burst out laughing and covered my mouth. “I would never do that to you. I know how much you love him.”
“He’s a god,” she said before taking a sip of wine. When she lowered her glass, her eyes lit up as she spotted something behind me. “And so is Jordan Wayne. Damn.”
I twisted around to follow her gaze. Jordan was a guy Kelli had dated the year before graduation. They ran together for almost a whole year, and they had gone on many double dates with me and Cal. He was a good kid who went into trades right after high school and, as far as I knew, was doing quite well for himself in the oil business.
I turned back to Kelli, who was eye fucking him without trying to hide it. I chuckled. “You should go say hi to him.”
She glanced at me. “You don’t mind?”
“Of course not. Go on. I’ll save our spot.”
Kelli smiled. “You’re the best. I won’t be long.”
“Don’t try to sneak him away for a quickie or something,” I warned as she got up and started to walk away.
She looked over her shoulder at me and flipped me the middle finger. I giggled to myself as I sipped my wine.
I was only left in peace for a short minute or so before the chair Kelli had just vacated was occupied again.
By Cal.
He crossed one leg over the other and leaned back. “How about that drink now?”
I lifted my wine to show him I was taken care of.
He swirled the dark brown concoction over ice in his cocktail glass and leaned forward to clink it against my wine glass. “It’s been a long time, Lina Nelson.”
11
Callum
Lina Nelson was exactly how I remembered her, and yet completely different.
Her light green eyes and the way she looked at me, like she was sizing me up, calculating what I was about to say, and coming to all her own conclusions, was the same way she used to look at me when we were kids. But there was something else there now. A sense of wisdom perhaps. And she didn’t look at me for as long as she used to. Her gaze swept over me, she made her conclusions, and then she looked away toward people milling around the buffet table.
She was sitting the same way she used to sit, too, with one leg crossed over the other as she sat sideways in her chair. Her right arm was draped over the back of the chair as she held her wine, which she would occasionally lift to her perfect dark pink lips. Back in the day, her foot would have been bobbing to the beat of the music, but now, it was still.
She even chewed the inside of her cheek like she used to—but I got the sense she was biting down harder now as she did everything in her power to avoid looking me in the eye.
She did not want to be sitting there with me.
I couldn’t blame her. Not after what I’d done.
I uncrossed my legs and planted my feet on the floor as I sipped my whiskey. “How have you been, Lina?”
“Good.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I know your modeling career has taken off. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
Damn. She was giving me the cold shoulder. “Do you enjoy it?”
Her eyes slowly moved to me. “I enjoy parts of it. Like the money.”
I smiled. “That’s how I feel about my job.”
“About the job you always dreamed of? That’s a shame. And a big waste of time and money.”
I grinned. “You’re right.”
She looked away and sipped her wine. I couldn’t help but stare at her full bottom lip, pressed to the underside of her glass. God, I missed kissing those lips of hers. So pillowy soft. And she always tasted like peppermint. Or strawberries. Or, sometimes, blueberries. She had a thing for blueberries.
I sighed and let my eyes wander around the gymnasium. People were starting to mingle. When I’d first arrived, everyone stood in clumps, like no one was willing to break away from their comfort zone, even now. They huddled together like herd animals seeking out their safe place, and then they stayed there, one of them always on the lookout for predators. Now, an hour later, people were finally realizing that nobody was the same as who they were in high school. Those petty differences were gone. We were adults. We had bigger fish to fry than upholding our childish grudges.
Except for Lina, of course. Although she was entitled to still be angry with me.
“I can’t believe it’s already been fifteen years,” I said.
“It hasn’t. There’s still six more months until it’s technically fifteen years.”
I chuckled. “You’re right.”
Lina continued to stare everywhere but at me. Her gaze lingered on Kelli, who was off chatting with Jordan, the guy she dated for a while before senior year started. She was giggling, and Jordan was leaning toward her.
“They’re hitting it off,” I said.
“Apparently,” Lina muttered.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I only came because I thought you wouldn’t be here. Kelli dragged me.”
“I came because of David.”
“So, I owe him a thank you,” she said dryly.
I laughed again. Every jab she took at me felt good for some reason. I knew I deserved it. I wanted her to keep going. If being mean to me made her feel better, I would sit here and take it all night long. “I think David would flee if he saw you coming.”
Her light green eyes slid back to me. “Then he would be smart.”
I put my drink down and decided to switch tactics. “I have a son. He’s five.”
Lina blinked, and then she shifted to face me more directly. She licked her lips. “What’s his name?”
“Asher.”
“Asher.” Her lips softened into a curved line that might have been the beginning of a smile. “That’s a cute name.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone to show her a picture of him. I held it out to her, and she took the phone from my hand, her finger tips grazing my palm. She held the phone in her lap and looked down at it. Then a real, genuine smile stretched her cheeks. “He looks just like you. And he looks happy.”
“He is.”
She flicked through a couple photos before handing my phone back. Her gaze lingered on the gold ring on my left hand. “And I see that you’re married.”
I didn’t say anything about my wife. Instead, I put my phone away. “Asher’s a great kid. I think you’d like him. He’s got a funny sense of humor, like you. And he loves animals. Like you.”
Lina didn’t say anything. She just stared at me.
“Are you in town for the holidays?” I asked.
Lina stood up and ignored my question. “Well, it was nice seeing you, Cal. It sounds like you’ve built a good life for yourself. I’m happy for you.” It didn’t sound like she was all that happy for me. “I’m going to go home. I shouldn’t have come tonight. Tell Kelli I’ll see her back at the house.”
She didn’t wait for me to say yes
or no. She just turned and started walking. By the time I’d collected my jaw from the floor and gathered my wits enough to go after her, she had already stepped through the gymnasium doors.
I caught up with her in the hallway. We were around the corner from our old lockers. I’d paid one of the guys on my basketball team twenty bucks to switch lockers with me so I could be beside her. That seemed like such a long time ago now.
I reached out and caught her elbow, instantly regretting it. Lina yanked her arm away from me and turned on me, jabbing me in the chest with her index finger. Her beautiful face was sharp with anger. “You can’t do this to me, Cal. Not now. It’s not fucking fair!”
“I’m not doing anything,” I said. “I just wanted to make sure you were happy.”
“You don’t deserve to know anything about my life anymore,” she said. “You ruined me, Cal. Ruined me.” She looked down. Her defiance melted away as she stared at the floor, and her shoulders slumped. When she finally looked back up at me, her eyes were glassy. “I wasn’t even important enough to you to get a goodbye before you left for Harvard.”
“Lina—”
“No,” she said sharply. “I don’t even want to hear my name on your lips. I thought you were my future. I know it’s dumb, and we were just kids, but at the time, that’s what I believed. Because you let me believe it. We talked about our futures together. About what our home would be like and how many kids we were going to have. How could you leave without saying goodbye to the girl you’d convinced you were going to marry one day?”
Her eyes flicked back and forth between mine as she waited for an answer I didn’t have for her. I swallowed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just like you didn’t know what to say back then,” she said. Her voice was almost a growl. “You can’t just show up here and think that just because it’s been fifteen years, I’d have forgiven you.”
“Fourteen and a half.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Really? Jokes?”
“I’m sorry.”
Lina shook her head at me and looked at the ceiling. “I just wish I had seen it coming. I wished you’d told me when you got accepted. I could have wrapped my head around it, rather than felt like I was kicked to the curb like some stray dog you didn’t want anymore.”
“Lina, that’s not at all how I wanted to make you feel. I tried to talk to you that night. I tried to explain—”
“No, you didn’t. You ended things. You told me Harvard was going to be your life. You made it perfectly clear that there wasn’t any room for me in the future you wanted.”
I sighed. “I was a stupid kid. I should have handled things differently. I know it’s hard to believe, but I never wanted to hurt you. I loved you.”
“Don’t fucking say that to me right now, Cal. That only makes you feel better. Not me.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Lina put her hands on her hips. Her floor-length purple dress swished around her ankles as she shifted her weight to her right foot. She used to stand the same way when we fought as teenagers.
I ran hand through my hair. “I tried to talk to you that night. I really did. But you wouldn’t hear me out.”
“And you didn’t fight for me to,” she whispered. “And you left without trying again. Without saying a word to me. Not even goodbye.”
“I know.”
She straightened up and took a deep breath. “And that’s what I’m going to do now, Cal. Leave me alone. Don’t come after me. You’re good at that.”
With that, she marched back into the gymnasium.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes closed. “God damn it, Cal.”
How had everything I just said made everything so much worse? All I had wanted was for her to understand that I never wanted to hurt her. And I wanted her to know that I took all the blame. I knew what I did was messed up. I’d just been too ashamed to own it and tell her that on graduation night. At the time, it had been easier for me, a weak eighteen-year-old boy, to pack up and leave my home town without saying anything to her.
I’d traded one future for the other.
To this day, I still had no idea if it was a mistake or not. Every time I thought it was, I would think of Asher and how I wouldn’t have him if I’d never left Lina and gone to Harvard. And Asher was my whole world.
No. I hadn’t made a mistake in leaving for Harvard.
I’d made a mistake by hurting the girl who loved me in order to do it.
12
Lina
I forced myself to relax as I made a beeline across the gymnasium toward Kelli, who was still in the corner chatting up Jordan. My hands had balled into fists, and I consciously shook them out while taking slow, steadying breaths.
My heart pounded furiously, and my palms were sweaty. I’d become so angry so quickly that I couldn’t quite get a handle on it.
When I was halfway to Kelli, someone stepped in front of me. Someone with blond hair, a friendly smile, and a dark gray suit.
“David,” I said, stepping back.
He gave me a sheepish smile that was exactly the same as the one he always had playing on his lips when we were kids. “Hey there, Lina. It’s good to see you. How’ve you been?”
“Fine. Sorry. I need to get by you. I’m trying to get to Kelli.”
“Kelli’s here?”
“Yes. Do you mind?” I gestured for him to get out of my way.
David frowned. “Fifteen years and you’re already eager to get rid of me after just ten seconds.”
I sighed. “It’s not about you, David. I’m sorry. I just ran into Cal out in the hallway, and he and I haven’t seen each other since graduation night. And you know how that went. I just… I wasn’t ready to have that conversation tonight, and I just want to get out of here.”
“I get it,” David said. “For what it’s worth, the guy still talks about you all the time.”
I licked my lips. “I don’t care.”
“He’s not a bad guy like you think he is.”
“I don’t care about that, either. And I don’t need you standing up for him. What’s done is done. Now please, get out of my way so I can go home.”
David nodded and slid aside. “It was good to see you, Lina. I’m sorry your night didn’t go how you wanted it to.”
I slipped past him, gave him the best apologetic smile I could muster, and hurried over to Kelli, who had her eyes closed and was doubled over with laughter. Something Jordan had just said must have really gotten her going. There were tears in the corner of her eyes.
She straightened up and wiped her eyes gently with her thumbs so as not to mess up her makeup. “Jordan, you remember my best friend, Lina?”
Jordan turned his big brown eyes to me and nodded as a smile lit up his handsome face. “Lina Nelson. Of course, I remember you. How have you been?”
I gave him a tight-lipped smile. “I’ve been good, Jordan. Thanks for asking. How about you?”
“Great. I took over my Dad’s oil rig two years ago. I get to spend a lot of time out on the open water.”
“Exactly what he always wanted to do,” Kelli said, nodding. “Isn’t that cool? Not many of us can say we followed the path we wanted to when we were teenagers. I think it’s impressive.”
Jordan rubbed the back of his neck. He might have even been blushing when he said, “Family business. You know how it is. It’s hard to walk away from that sort of expectation.”
“But you do enjoy it?” Kelli asked.
“Sure do.” Jordan nodded. “Took me a good five or so years to find an appreciation for it. But the money is good, and so is my crew. And being the boss makes things a bit more tolerable. A guy can only work for his daddy for so long.”
Kelli giggled again.
I felt guilty tugging on her elbow. “Kelli, I’m sorry. I need to get out of here.”
Kelli turned to me. “Oh. Okay. Let’s go.”
Jordan blinked. “Already? But you ladies just got
here. Mark’s band is going to play in fifteen minutes. You don’t want to stick around for that shit? I bet they’ll play the same songs they used to.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s not a good night for me. Why don’t you get a video of it and send it to Kelli? Kelli, give him your number.”
Kelli’s cheeks turned fluorescent pink, but she took the phone Jordan offered to her, and she punched in her digits. She passed it back to him. “I would actually really love to see the video,” she said.
Jordan smiled. “And maybe we can catch up over coffee sometime?”
Kelli giggled. “That would be nice. Thank you. We’ll talk later?”
“Sure thing. You ladies get home safe.”
“We will,” Kelli said. I’d already started pulling her away toward the doors.
I drew up short when I saw Cal standing there. He wasn’t looking at me, thank God, but he was standing right where we needed to go. I veered off to the right and pushed through one of the emergency exit doors that led out to a path that wrapped around the school. We’d have to walk back up to the parking lot in the freezing cold night air in nothing but our dresses and heels, but it was worth the sacrifice.
Kelli lifted up the skirt of her dress and followed me along the back of the school. “I’m guessing you talked to Cal?”
“Yeah. He sat down after you left. Then he followed me when I tried to get away from him to apologize. Asshole.”
“Apologizing makes him an asshole?” she asked.
I shook my head as I looked down, watching where I put my feet. My heels were a bit too high to walk confidently in on this uneven terrain. “Yes. Because he thinks a simple sorry fifteen years later will make up for the shit he pulled on me.”
Kelli didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry to have ruined your night with Jordan.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “We couldn’t have expected Cal to show up. He didn’t come to the ten-year reunion. I really didn’t think he’d show tonight, either. I shouldn’t have made you come. Tonight is on me, Lina.”
I sighed. “No, it’s not. It’s on him.”
My Holiday Reunion: A Second Chance Holiday Romance Page 7
