“I’ll do more than break his fucking jaw.”
“No, you won’t. Let it go, Padraig. I keep my distance from him. You’ll just turn your parents, Myrna, and the clan away from you. It’s not worth it.”
“You mean you’re not worth it. Cairren, you’re my wife. I’m tired of having to remind you and everyone else of that. No one has a right to threaten you.”
Cairren blew out a puff of air from her nose as she turned her head to look out at the water. “Until a sennight ago, you were still courting Myrna. The Church may say I’m your wife, but everyone kens I’m more your leman than aught else.” She sighed. “My kinsmen are gone now. You need not play host to them. We can return to how things were, and I’ll stay out of the way. I don’t need the escort.”
“Absolutely not. Not to any of that shite, Cairren. We are not returning to how things were before. You and I share a chamber now, and I will not agree to any other arrangement. I am not courting Myrna, and I intend to send her home without me as an escort. And you absolutely will not risk your life by leaving the bailey without guards. For all we know, someone may be watching you as we speak, planning to kidnap and ransom you. Or worse, rape you.”
“That’s rubbish. Anyone who’s watched me knows I don’t have a guard, and they will have figured out it’s because I’m not worth a ransom. As for molesting me, they’d have to touch me.”
“I know what you mean by that, but, dear God, Cairren, you couldn’t be more wrong. Every mon who sees you fantasizes aboot you. I’ve seen the looks, I’ve heard the comments. I hate admitting to how many men would take the opportunity to force you. You’re alluring, and while they might spew vulgarities aboot you, they’d also seize the chance to have you.” Padraig cupped her chin and rested his forehead against hers. His voice caught as he continued. “I can’t bear you coming to harm. I’ll escort you myself anywhere you want to go if you won’t accept a detail. Please, Cairren. I don’t want to lose you.”
Padraig meant every word. Cairren had become a fixture in his life, and he didn’t want to think about life without her. He’d grown fond of the pint-sized woman in his lap, and he realized that while she wasn’t the woman he loved, she was a better person than he imagined. He pressed a kiss to her mouth, and she opened to him as her arms looped around his neck. The kiss grew heated, and Cairren moaned with need. Padraig eased her onto the ground before bunching her skirts around her knees. She pulled his plaid up and wrapped her hands around his length. He’d taught her how he liked her to stroke him, and now she moved her hand along his length, twisting her wrist the way she knew made him impatient to sink inside her. She opened her legs to him as his fingers slid along her seam.
“You’re wet for me,” Padraig murmured.
“Always. Don’t make me wait. Not this time. I need you, Padraig.”
“I need you, Ren.”
Cairren guided his length to her entrance, and he pushed inside, settling hilt-deep into her heated core. They lay together for a long moment as they reveled in the sensation of being joined. Each time they coupled, it was as though the world around them slipped away. They’d learned to move together, seeking and finding pleasure not only for themselves but for each other. The kisses were hungry, and Padraig thrust with abandonment, encouraged by Cairren’s moans and with each tilt of her hips as she met his urgency with her own.
“I don’t want to hurt you. These rocks are too rough.”
“Nay. More, Padraig. Please don’t hold back.”
Padraig growled as he surged into her, grinding his pelvis into hers as she dug her fingers into his buttocks. They fell silent except for their pants and the sounds of their bodies slapping together. Cairren squeezed her eyes shut, the cords in her throat straining as she threw back her head and stifled her scream of ecstasy. Padraig didn’t hide his release, a deep groan signaling his climax. He held Cairren against him as he struggled to catch his breath. As always happened when he joined with Cairren, possessiveness and protectiveness made him cling to her when they were through, but a softer emotion joined the ragged and harsh ones. He didn’t understand what was happening, but he had a sudden desire to profess his feelings.
“Ren, I—I—” Padraig froze as he realized what he was about to say. Her soulful gray eyes opened to him, but he couldn’t say it. He didn’t know if he would mean it if he said he loved her, he didn’t want to do it in the midst of coupling and make her think that was the reason for his feelings, and he wasn’t sure if the euphoria was to blame. He had to think of something to say though before she realized what he was avoiding. “I think we should head back before it grows too cold for you.”
Cairren’s gaze shuttered, but she nodded. Padraig wanted to kick himself for ruining the moment. When Cairren lifted her head, her detached expression made him feel even worse. It was as though she was telling him that she accepted that she only served one purpose in his life, and now that they were through, he could move on. He held out his hand, a peace offering, and she took it as she scrambled down from the rocks, but once her feet were on the ground, she let go. Padraig wasn’t ready for this distance between them, physically and emotionally. He wrapped her arm around his as they returned to the Great Hall.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cairren smiled at Henry as he waited beside her at Meg’s door. She’d grown accustomed to having an escort again after a week of the four warriors trading off, accompanying her on walks around the loch and into the village. She hadn’t dared go farther afield after what she’d heard Duncan and Myrna say. She feared what they would come up with to convince Padraig she’d done something egregious. She knocked twice, surprised when no one answered. Katie’s hands were healing well, so she didn’t need to make the house call, but she enjoyed Meg’s company. A young widow, Meg had her hands full with five children. Cairren was happy to help with cooking and housekeeping, though Meg still tsked when Cairren picked up the broom.
Cairren shrugged to Henry and prepared to return to the keep when she heard a scream that meant only one thing. A woman was in labor. Meg’s head popped out of a door a few crofts down as she seemed to search the village. When she spotted Cairren, she dashed to her and Henry.
“It’s Catriona. Something’s wrong with the bairn. She’s been having birthing pains since yesterday, but naught is happening. Can ye help?”
“Aye,” Cairren answered as she hurried to follow Meg. Cairren had met Catriona once when the woman’s husband introduced them. Matthew was the guard Cairren trusted most, and she suspected he’d been the one to tell Padraig about her situation. The women entered the small croft while Henry stood guard outside.
“What’s she doing here?” An older woman who resembled Catriona demanded.
“I’ve asked her to help, Elspeth,” Meg explained.
“She isnae touching ma daughter. She canna be trusted.”
“Hush, Mama,” Catriona gasped before screaming again.
“Nay. She’s nae one of us. She’ll steal yer bairn and make it a changeling.”
“Elspeth, Lady Cairren has delivered plenty of bairns, and I trust her with ma own weans. Ye ken that. Let her help. We dinna have any other midwife, and Catriona is suffering.”
“Please, just let me examine her,” Cairren clasped her hands before her and dipped her chin, deferring to the older woman.
“Aye!” Catriona called out. “Mama, Lady Cairren is helping me. I trust her. I canna do this much longer.”
Cairren didn’t hesitate. She dropped the basket of medicinals she’d been carrying and pulled off her plaid. “I need hot water and soap, please.” She moved to Catriona’s bedside and lifted the woman’s chemise. She could see the sheet was wet and knew the woman’s water had broken some time ago because the rest of the sheet looked fresh. “I’m just going to touch your belly and see what position your bairn is in.”
Cairren palpated Catriona’s swollen belly and wanted to groan. The baby was breach, and Catriona wasn’t much bigger than Cairren. There was li
ttle chance she could deliver the baby the way it was positioned now. Once she washed her hands, she examined Catriona further and knew they likely had several hours before she would be ready to push.
“I will be right back.” Cairren stepped outside and looked at Henry, who studiously avoided looking at the croft. “Where’s Matthew?”
“He’s on patrol, ma lady.”
“You need to fetch him.”
“I canna leave ye, ma lady. Ma orders are to remain with ye at all times.”
“Then send someone else, but someone needs to fetch him.”
“Ma lady, they willna send anyone to fetch him for a bairn. Women have them every day. He has a duty to his clan.”
Cairren leaned forward and lowered her voice. “There is a good chance his wife and bairn will die. So unless you’d like a grave beside them, I suggest you get your arse on a horse and find him.”
“But—”
“Henry, I swear to you, I will make your life more miserable than you ever imagined possible if you don’t bring Matthew home. He deserves to be with his wife. She needs him, and he deserves to say goodbye if she doesn’t make it. What would you do if it were Sarah?”
“Aye, ma lady.” Henry took off for the stables, and Cairren went back inside.
“Catriona, your bairn is sideways,” Cairren held the woman’s hand as she explained the situation. “Your hips are too narrow to deliver like that. I will be very honest with you and tell you the dangers you and your bairn face. There’s a chance your pelvis could crack. You might not walk properly again, or you might not have any more bairns. There’s a chance that your bairn could have the cord wrapped around his neck, and the delivery could strangle him, or he could be born a cripple if he becomes stuck. There’s also the very real chance you both might die.”
Catriona sobbed as her free hand rubbed her belly. Her panic-stricken eyes tore at Cairren’s heart. She wasn’t prepared to accept any of those possibilities. She glanced at Elspeth and Meg before continuing.
“I can try to turn your bairn, so it’s head down. It will hurt just as much as pushing the wee one out, but it’s your best chance. Will you let me?” Cairren prayed that not only would Catriona allow her to try, but that Elspeth didn’t prevent it if Catriona agreed.
“Aye. Aught to save ma bairn,” Catriona sobbed.
“Elspeth, I need you to hold your daughter’s hands. Talk to her, tell her a story, sing a song. Meg, I need your help. I will need you to press against Catriona’s belly as hard as you can while I try to move the bairn into position. Even when she screams, keep pushing. Can you do that?” Meg nodded. Cairren climbed onto the bed and straddled Catriona’s legs. “Get on the other side of the bed.”
Elspeth sang as Cairren whispered instructions to Meg. The women worked together until Cairren was confident the bairn was in position. Once Cairren and Meg finished, they helped Catriona off the bed, each holding an arm as they walked around the tiny croft. They paced for hours until Cairren ordered Catriona back into bed, her birthing pains coming too close together for the woman to remain on her feet. She pushed for another two hours, and Cairren was becoming worried that even if Catriona survived, the bairn wouldn’t. Catriona was past the point of exhaustion and began swearing she couldn’t continue, that she didn’t have the strength to push anymore.
The door slammed open, and a windblown Matthew charged inside. “Cat!”
“Out,” Elspeth ordered. “Men dinna belong in here.”
“Nay,” Cairren contradicted. “I sent for him, and he stays. Matthew, Cat needs you. She’s exhausted and scared. Climb onto the bed behind her and hold her hands.” Matthew scrambled to follow Cairren’s orders, encouraging Catriona to keep going. Her husband’s presence revived her enough to keep trying. Cairren pressed hard on Catriona’s belly, praying that she could ease the bairn further into the birth canal. It was another hour of pushing, but then a large baby boy howled after Cairren slapped his bottom. She cleaned him and presented him to the proud mother and father.
Cairren was sweaty and exhausted when she walked into the keep. She’d apologized to Henry for threatening him, and he’d been gracious, explaining his wife would have done far worse and might still yet when she learned that he’d refused at first. Cairren swiped her sleeve over her brow as she made her way through the Great Hall and toward the stairs. She wanted a bath and a bed. The noise in the Great Hall made her head hurt, so she attempted to hurry through before anyone noticed her.
“There she is!” Myrna’s voice pierced the air. “Look at her! She didn’t even have the decency to make herself presentable after meeting her lover.”
“Myrna,” Padraig’s voice warned. Cairren looked to the dais where Padraig, Duncan, and Myrna stood together. Myrna held Padraig’s hands as she gazed up at him. Cairren approached as she noticed Duncan’s gloating expression, Myrna’s look of triumph, and Padraig’s anger and hurt.
“She’s been out with her lover all day, and you’re warning me?” Myrna questioned.
Padraig pulled loose from Myrna and went to stand before Cairren. “How could you?” he whispered.
“How could I what?” Cairren was incredulous. “You don’t believe her, do you?”
“She said you and Henry disappeared after going to the village. Neither of you have been seen all day.”
“And that means I’ve been unfaithful.” Cairren stepped back and glared at Padraig.
“It makes you look very guilty. I assign men to guard you, you disappear, and Myrna said she saw you both leaving through the postern gate.”
“Did she? And you believe her.” Cairren looked past Padraig, then back to him. “Why wouldn’t you? She’s all that’s good and pure, and I’m naught but evil and dirty. You’ll always side with her first. I’ve never lied to you, Padraig. Never. But the same can’t be said for her. But you still favor her.”
“This isn’t aboot taking sides. This is aboot ma wife being unfaithful.”
“It’s only aboot taking sides because I have never strayed. You’ve gone too far this time, Padraig. I won’t forgive you for this. Not ever.” Cairren spun around and tried to leave the dais, but Padraig’s hand snagged her arm in a punishing grip. He jerked her back to stand in front of him and didn’t release her arm. “You and your family deserve each other. Now you’re manhandling me. You’re no better than your brother.”
It was Padraig’s turn to jerk back, and Cairren broke free. She sprinted to the stairs and took them two at a time until she reached her former chamber. She slammed the door before locking it and dropping the bar in place. She trembled as she looked around the chamber she hadn’t entered in days. She went to the chest that stood at the foot of the bed and lifted the lid. She pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill, and a pot of ink. She sat to the table and considered the letter she was about to compose.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Padraig was furious. He looked at Duncan and Myrna’s gloating faces, then at the stairs Cairren had just disappeared up. He hadn’t believed Myrna’s story until she cried and kept apologizing for having to tell him what she’d seen. It was the worst feeling of betrayal and loss he’d ever experienced. Myrna said she’d seen Cairren and Henry slinking out of the postern gate. He’d tried to argue that he was her guard and that he was aware she went for walks. But Myrna argued she’d seen Cairren carrying a picnic basket, and the couple kept looking around to see if anyone watched them. When Cairren entered the Great Hall with a basket over her arm, he thought his world would crumble around his ears. Now that Cairren was home and accused him of the wrongdoing, he was seething. He swore to himself that he would wait until he was calmer before he approached his wife, but he would not tolerate her infidelity. He’d remained faithful despite living under the same roof as the woman he loved. That notion gave him pause. He looked over at Myrna, and he found the intense feeling of longer and companionship that used to fill him whenever he laid eyes on her was no longer there. He looked back at the stairs and felt that s
ame feeling but to a far greater degree when he pictured Cairren in their chamber.
“Padraig! Padraig!”
Padraig turned toward Matthew, who ran into the Great Hall, his eyes wild. He’d never seen the man so distraught. He called out, “Aye.”
“We need Lady Cairren to come back right away. It’s the bairn.”
“Come back? What bairn?”
“She delivered ma son today, but now he isnae breathing right. We need Lady Cairren to help him.”
Padraig’s heart stalled. A bairn? Cairren spent the day with Catriona? But Myrna said… Padraig turned toward Myrna, who refused to meet his gaze. He took off toward the stairs, taking them three at a time. When he reached the first landing, he knew not to try his chamber. Cairren wouldn’t have gone there. What have I done? I dinna think I even love Myrna anymore, and yet I believed her without question. I did exactly what Cairren always expects. I abandoned her. Padraig reached Cairren’s door and pounded.
“Cairren, open the door. It’s Matthew’s bairn. Something’s wrong. They need you,” he panted at the end.
Cairren listened to Padraig and dropped the quill. She hadn’t begun writing her letter, still unsure what to say. She was numb from what Padraig accused her of, and her brain felt like it was in a bog until he pounded on her door. She rose and looked at the two plaids on her old bed. She grabbed the Kennedy plaid before opening the door. She pushed past Padraig without a word and dashed down the stairs. She spotted Matthew but didn’t slow to ask him what happened. She raced through the Great Hall and out through the bailey.
“Open the gate,” she called as she ran toward the postern hatch. She passed through, hearing Matthew and Padraig only footsteps behind her. She didn’t stop running until she reached Matthew and Catriona’s croft. She burst inside and stumbled to a stop. The sound of the newborn gasping was weak, but the only noise in the home. “I need boiling water and a sheet now.”
An Enemy at the Highland Court: An Enemies to Lovers Highlander Romance (The Highland Ladies Book 5) Page 20
