Oh, Lord.
She straddled him and he opened his eyes, Ava staring into his eyes, a soft smile on her face.
“You’re killing me,” he repeated softly.
“That’s the plan.”
She moved her hips. He did, too. They found their rhythm quickly, Ava leaning down into him, her mouth finding his, their bodies melding in a whole new way, and he marveled. It was as if she could read his mind. Or perhaps he could read hers. Either way, she seemed to know instinctively how to move, how to change the angle of their union so that he hissed once again, wishing he could flip her beneath him so that he could do the same things to her. He couldn’t, though, and rather than fill him with frustration, he let it happen, let himself go.
She broke the kiss, thrust herself away from him and her long hair flicked back. Carson watched as she lost herself to the pleasure of their union. He knew she was close. Their tempo increased, faster and faster until he couldn’t keep his bearing any longer. Carson tipped his head back, closing his eyes until light exploded around him and his body flexed and clenched. A spasm of pure pleasure unlike any he’d ever experienced shot through him.
“Ava,” he cried out.
She gasped, that was all, and he found it all the more endearing for the way she softly announced her release, her whole body tensing for a moment and then slowly starting to relax.
Her eyes opened.
He hadn’t stopped staring at her. He’d enjoyed watching the play of emotion on her face. Her brow had furrowed in concentration and he wondered if she did that during surgery, too. Her mouth had been soft and open and he’d wanted to kiss her, but he had been too transfixed by the sight of her to do more than stare. He watched her slowly come back to him, one corner of her mouth lifting in wry amusement.
“I’d forgotten just how good that feels.”
His hand lifted because he couldn’t seem to stop himself from touching her face, his fingers sweeping hair off her brow.
“You’re remarkable,” he whispered.
She lowered her head, rolled off him and onto her side. “I’m not usually so...” Her eyes searched his and she tried to find a word. “Aggressive.”
“You were perfect,” he said lowly, grateful for the use of his left arm because he could pull her up to him, rest his chin in her hair. She felt perfect next to him, too. She fit perfect. He rolled onto his side, wishing he had full use of his right arm. He’d hold her tightly. Show her without words how much she meant to him. And the realization caused his heart to race for a whole other reason.
He cared. After his last disastrous relationship with a woman like her, it frightened him to think about how much.
Chapter 13
She slept like she hadn’t slept in years. At some point in the wee hours of the morning he must have opened her windows because a breeze blew her drapes into her room, the air causing goose bumps to rise on her skin. Ava pulled the covers closer around her, but they didn’t budge.
Carson.
He lay next to her, snoring softly, and she rolled over so she could watch him for a moment. He looked different than when he’d been under anesthesia for surgery. He almost appeared to be smiling, his lips tipped up at the corners, his face relaxed. His five-o’clock shadow had turned into a midnight dusting of hair that made her fingers itch to touch it. He had thick hair, she noticed. It was mussed right now, but it didn’t detract from his looks. Paul had had a head of thinning hair. Funny. She’d forgotten about that over the years.
The thoughts of Paul had her turning away. Things had happened quickly with him, too. And though she tried not to compare the two, it was hard not to do exactly that. She’d often wondered what would have happened if she’d forced herself to slow down where Paul was concerned. She’d fallen so hard and so fast she hadn’t thought about the consequences of loving a man who constantly put his life in danger. Carson didn’t like to climb cliffs, though. Riding was still dangerous, sure. Her heart had been in her throat while watching Bella ride, but it wasn’t like he rode wild broncs. It was other things that worried her. His time on the road. The women who would chase him. Her own fears of inadequacy that might lead to trouble down the road.
But she was getting ahead of herself. One night did not a relationship make. Right now she needed to check on her patients, something she’d have to do before she went to pick up Bella. Hopefully she could make her rounds quickly and pick Bella up from the ranch midmorning. She’d text her daughter to have the Gillians call her if there were any problems, but they seemed happy to watch her. And she should check on Balto, too. He was probably tired of being in that kennel...all of which meant she needed to get out of bed.
For some reason, she didn’t want to wake Carson, so she quietly padded down the hall to use Bella’s shower. She told herself it was because she didn’t need to bother him, but she’d always prided herself on being honest with herself. Her thoughts of Paul and the comparisons to Carson had her on edge as she silently went about the house and got ready for the day. Still, she couldn’t just leave him, and so before she left the house she quickly scribbled him a note telling him she’d see him later at the ranch. Hopefully she’d pull it together by then.
She lost herself in her work at the hospital that morning. It was the one thing she could always count upon, her passion for what she did for a living.
“Wow. What happened to you?”
Ava straightened from the chart she’d been studying. “What do you mean?”
Nurse Bell studied her face. “You’re glowing.”
That gave her pause, but only for a moment. “I’m pleased with my patients’ progress,” she admitted. “They’re all stable with no sign of infection.”
Nurse Bell nodded. “I heard about your emergency surgery last night. Damn drunk drivers.” The young nurse shook her head. “Carson Gillian called for you earlier, by the way. Left a message at reception.”
Carson.
She shouldn’t be surprised he’d called. She’d been avoiding her cell phone all morning.
“Thanks.”
Sure enough, she had a missed call from Carson on her cell. Nothing from Bella or the rest of the Gillians, though, and that was good. Her daughter appeared to have found some new friends. She debated with herself on whether or not to call him back, but she wasn’t fifteen years old. She was a mature adult who was perfectly capable of conversing with a man she’d spent most of the night kissing.
She dialed him on her cell.
“Doctor, help,” said a deep masculine voice when the line connected. “I think I might need a house call.”
She smiled. “You’re incorrigible.”
He didn’t say anything. She looked around the employee lounge, almost as if someone might have overheard him, which she knew was ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. For one, she could get into trouble if anyone found out about them. Not terrible trouble, but she was new to Via Del Caballo General, too new to break unspoken rules.
“I missed you this morning.” She heard him take a deep breath. “And I have to tell you, that’s not like me. I’m usually the one that wakes up and takes off.”
She wasn’t sure how to take the comment. It inferred waking up in someone else’s bed was nothing new for him, whereas she hadn’t been with anyone since Paul.
“Not that I’m constantly in bed with women.” His words were laced with embarrassment.
“Well, I should hope not.”
“I’m not the one that calls the next morning, either.”
Her brow creased, not that he could see it.
“Which makes me sound even more like a player,” he admitted with obvious distress. “You know what? I’m just going to shut the hell up and tell you that I missed you this morning and I’m glad I get to see you at some point today. Bella’s having a great time here. I have her busy mucking stalls and e
xercising horses. She’ll probably sleep like a baby tonight.” He paused then added, “That’s all I wanted to say.”
It was a moment when she could offer a pithy comment back or take the first tentative step toward something deeper.
“I missed you, too,” she admitted.
She heard him release a breath, had a feeling he smiled on the other end. “Good.”
She didn’t want to say too much. This was all too new. Too terrifying.
“So, dinner tonight?” he asked.
And this was another one of those moments. “Carson, can we just slow down a little bit? I don’t want to...” She looked down at the tile floor beneath her feet. “Rush into anything.”
“You mean you don’t want to spend every waking moment with me?”
He tried to make a joke of it, she could tell by the tone of his words, but it fell flat.
“I want a full night of sleep,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t take the words as a brush-off. “Emergency surgeries take a physical toll on me and combined with...”
“Hot, steamy sex,” he finished for her.
She huffed despite herself. “Yes, that. I’m just exhausted. What I need right now is a nap.”
“Okay then. I can understand that.”
“Good.”
“I’ll see you when you get here.”
But as she hung up the phone she wondered what she would have done if picking up Bella wasn’t necessary. The thought of facing him after what they’d done made her flush. Would she have taken a short break? Given them a few days to get their thoughts in order? To figure out where the hell this was going? Alas, she didn’t have a choice.
* * *
The best laid plans...
Carson checked his cell phone once again before tucking it back in his pocket and returning his attention to Bella, who was pulling on Snazzy’s reins. No new messages. Well, aside from the one she’d sent him just before he’d helped Bella mount Snazzy.
Called into surgery again. Going to be late. Do you mind keeping Bella a bit longer?
“She’s not coming, is she?” Bella asked, guiding Snazzy back to him. She shook her head, lower lip thrust out before she said, “I hate when this happens.”
“It’s for a good reason.” But he understood how she felt. Life with Ava would always be a guessing game.
The thought gave him pause.
It implied a potential, as if he was thinking about a future with Ava. But that was ridiculous. They’d really just met.
“You’re probably lucky you saw her last night,” Bella grumbled.
He’d told Bella he’d made sure his mom had made it home safely last night. That was all she knew. She’d tried to ask more questions, but Carson had brushed her off, telling her they ought to focus on her riding while she was staying at the ranch. She’d been only too happy to comply. The last thing he needed was for Bella to catch wind of what was going on between him and her mother. He had a feeling Ava would lose her mind if something slipped out, not that he’d blame her. Bella was too young.
“Why don’t you unsaddle Snazzy and I’ll take you up to my dad’s house. I know you’ve been dying to see our collection of rodeo stuff.”
His dad had been off delivering horses last night when his uncle had told Bella all about their rodeo memorabilia. She’d begged him to see it this morning.
“That’d be so cool.” She slipped off Snazzy, patting her before throwing the reins over her head and leading her out of the arena. “I had so much fun with your family last night, Carson. They’re really great.”
He had to admit they really were. Of course, they’d all been curious about the little girl he’d brought to the ranch. His sister might have lectured him on the pros and cons of dating a woman with a child, but the rest of the family had teased him about having a crush. Carson had denied there was anything to it, but deep down inside he knew they were right. Which left him where, exactly? he wondered. He had a thing for Ava, no doubt. But long-term? He didn’t think anything could come of it. They were just too different. She wanted to save the world. He wanted to win a world championship. A woman with a kid was not part of the plan, even if he did adore Ava’s child.
“Are you excited about the horse show next weekend?” he asked as he gingerly took off Snazzy’s saddle. He sent Ava a text message about where they’d be, not surprised when all he received back was a thumbs-up icon.
Bella’s face lit up. “I can’t wait.” But then it fell again. “I just hope my mom can take me.”
They were just going to watch. And the show he had in mind was only two hours away. Surely she could take a day trip every now and again. He should probably talk to her about it, though, express how much Bella looked forward to going. At some point she had to put aside being a doctor for her daughter’s sake. There were a lot of things he should probably discuss with her, such as pretending as if last night had never happened. Maybe that would be for the best.
The sound of the metal snaps hitting the stall walls brought him back to the present. Bella was leading Snazzy into her stall.
“Maybe I’ll talk with her today.” But he wasn’t talking about the horse show. Bella smiled in excitement and he felt bad for a moment. The kid clearly had her hopes up that things would work out between him and her mom. Little did she know.
“Did something happen with you and my mom last night, Carson?”
He almost tripped. What the heck had made her think that? And what did a nine-year-old know about what happened between a man and a woman? Hell’s bells, that was not a question he wanted to know the answer to.
So he hedged as he led Bella to the Gator they would use to drive up to his dad’s house. “She was tired. I made sure she got home safe. I made sure she ate, too, as per your own orders.”
The sideways look the little girl shot him made him want to slink into the ATV seat. He aimed the Gator toward the gravel road that led to the top of a small hill and to his dad’s house. His aunt and uncle’s home sparkled in the distance on the next hill over.
“Do you think you might become her boyfriend?”
He weighed his words carefully. “I think I’d like to be her friend first.”
The words seemed to satisfy the little girl and he was grateful to let the matter drop. Conversations with a nine-year-old were not his forte.
“Every time we come up here, I think how pretty it is.”
Carson’s eyes focused on the house in front of them. “It’s home,” he offered. “Well, not anymore. I live in a bunkhouse with Flynn and Maverick and a cousin now.”
“Your dad’s place reminds me of a Spanish hotel. Kind of like the barn.”
He supposed it did look like one, although much smaller. The single-story home had a Spanish tiled roof and stucco sides that matched the barn. Behind it, there was a sweeping view of the valley below. Inside, the Spanish theme continued with terra-cotta floors and dark beams overhead.
“Oh, wow,” she said when she went inside.
“Anyone home?” Carson called.
“Back here,” answered his dad.
“This is amazing.” Bella had stopped in the entryway, in front of a wall of NFR back numbers and a few of the saddles that came along with winning a world championship. Over the years his family had won many—especially his dad and uncle Bob, who’d competed in team roping back in the day. “Look. One of them has your name on it. Is that the one you wore at the NFR last year?”
“You know I went to the NFR?”
“I read about you on the internet.” She glanced up at him. “Actually before we met.”
“You’re kidding?”
She nodded proudly. “When my mom told me we’d be visiting your ranch I knew exactly who you were.”
“I’ll be darned.”
“You’re going back this year, right?” she asked.
And what then? He was crazy if he thought he could fit Ava and Bella into his life.
“It will be,” Bella said, confidence on her young face. “My mom fixed it for you.”
And then it would be back to the grind. Working horses for his dad and hitting the rodeo circuit when he could. Except...
As he stared at those numbers he realized how scared he was. And it was funny because before his accident he would have told anyone who’d asked that making it to the NFR was no big deal. He’d always held the belief that if it happened, it happened. But then he’d faced a possible career-ending injury, one that would force him to give lessons to little girls like Bella for the rest of his life—that and build furniture—and he didn’t like that idea. Not one bit. Sure, he enjoyed it and took pride in it, but he didn’t want that to be his whole life. He’d realized that he didn’t want to look back and regret that he hadn’t done something more.
“Come on.” He waved her toward the back of the house. “I’ll introduce you to my dad. He’s the one with most of the numbers up there on the wall. He and my uncle were pretty famous back in the day.”
She smiled excitedly and, man, he really liked having Bella around. Her enthusiasm for horseback riding was contagious. It made him think of his younger days, back when he’d wanted nothing more than to spend the whole day in the barn. He’d lost some of that joy in recent years. Bella helped to rekindle his youthful enthusiasm.
“There he is,” said a voice from inside his dad’s office as they entered the room.
“Shane,” Carson said, clapping his brother on the shoulder with his good hand. “When’d you get back into town?” His brother had flown home to North Carolina after his surgery.
“Last night.” Shane drew back, turning to his wife. “We had to rush back to approve the plans with Dad for the new house.” His gaze dropped to Carson’s splint. “How’s the elbow?”
Home on the Ranch: Rodeo Legend Page 11
