He’d just need some time to figure things out and see where it went.
Chapter 18
While it had been nice to get home to the farm for the night, Lauren was surprised to find how much the lodge already felt like home once she pulled into the driveway on Tuesday morning. With all the tasks she had to complete with only a week to go before opening day, she was grateful to have a challenge before her.
As the day went on, she was disappointed that she wasn’t able to spend much time with Walker. He was always out fixing something or making sure to clear the large driveway and parking lot of snow. There hadn’t been any more big storms since the weekend before, but little flurries continually passed over the lodge.
By Thursday, she was getting a handle on all the aspects of the lodge. Walker had given her access to the email and reservations, which helped her figure out what still needed to be done. When she wasn’t answering phones or doing stuff on the computer, she was busy hanging some of the Christmas decorations she’d bought in town the afternoon before.
The lodge was taking shape, and she could see why Walker was so excited but also anxious at the same time. There was a lot riding on this, and while she didn’t know how much he had in the bank from his time as a bull rider, she knew this venture had probably taken a lot of funds already.
Friday morning, she checked the email only to find a headline that didn’t look right. Opening it, she read the contents of the email, her stomach dropping.
Dear Mr. McBride,
I apologize for the late email after confirming I would be able to be the chef at your lodge just this past Monday. I regret to inform you that I will no longer be able to work for your lodge as I’ve received an offer that will allow me to live in my current home. I wish you all the best this Christmas season, and if I can think of anyone, I’ll send them your way.
Sincerely,
Chef Tom Watkins
Lauren’s mouth dropped open. They’d been able to secure housekeeping staff and several waiters and waitresses over the past few days. Lauren had done several interviews and extended the offers, which seemed to make the burden on Walker much easier. But the fact that they no longer had a head chef to direct the other cooks in the restaurant? That wasn’t going to help things.
Slipping on her coat, she walked outside to find Walker. The search took longer than she expected, but she finally found him sitting on a log by the river that ran next to the property. Bear was curled up next to him on the cold ground.
“What are you doing clear over here?” she asked.
He jumped and turned toward her, and she felt bad for interrupting his thoughts.
“Just thinking. Thanks for all you’ve done this week. Hiring you has been the best thing I’ve done so far with this lodge.” The corner of his lips ticked up and down so quickly that Lauren wondered if she’d imagined it.
“Don’t thank me just yet. We just got an email from the chef. He’s not coming.” She tried to deliver the news gently, but from the terror in his eyes, this was Walker’s worst nightmare.
He stood, brushing the snow off his pants and moving closer to her. “Not coming? What do you mean ‘not coming’?”
“He said he received an offer closer to home and decided to take it so he didn’t have to move.” She paused a moment, letting the information sink in. “Were there any others who expressed interest in coming here?”
Walker rested a hand on his hip, the other hand combing through his hair. “Not yet. I should have put out the ads months ago. Why didn’t I do that?”
Lauren stepped forward and took his hand. “We’ll be okay. It’s nothing we can’t figure out.”
“If we don’t have a chef, we don’t have a restaurant,” he snapped. His voice hadn’t risen in volume, but the tone cut.
Lauren dropped his hand and took a step back, reeling from his comment. She made the conscious decision not to react. It was a strange parallel to something Cory would have said to her, although Walker’s statement wasn’t a backhanded comment. But this was a side of Walker she hadn’t seen before. She hoped she could just chalk it up to stress or anxiety over the opening of the lodge.
“We’ve still got several days. We’ll think of something. I’m going to head back inside and check on a few things.” She turned sharply and took several steps in the now crunchy snow before she stopped and said, “Let me know if you need to talk or need help with anything out here.”
She blew out a breath, hoping to get this chef thing under control before the guests began arriving on Tuesday. There were a lot of people anxious to be at the restaurant on opening day, and she didn’t want to see Walker feel like a failure after everything he’d done so far.
He’d been so distant the past few days, like he was avoiding her. Was he second-guessing getting too close to her? She’d have to find a time to ask him because she wasn’t going to be walking on eggshells the rest of the time here.
Chapter 19
Walker sat back down on the stump, shame washing over him. He should never have said something like that to Lauren. He’d been so wound up over the past few days, nightmares coming about the failure of the lodge and the restaurant or, worse, that it burned down again. After all he’d put into this place, he just didn’t want to be seen as a failure.
Not that he’d failed in the rodeo, but the fact that most people saw him as a has-been was difficult. It was normal to fail at some things, right? He just wasn’t sure he’d be able to do that and still survive.
And if he was a failure with the lodge, would Lauren stick around to watch it all come down? Or would she move on like Cara had?
Shaking his head, he knew he needed to apologize. He’d barely spoken to her over the past few days, everything seeming to come to a head inside of him, and he wasn’t sure whether or not it would all work out. He wanted to have the hope and optimism she had, but this was something he’d never dealt with, never worked on before. The only reason he’d gotten a loan for the place without any prior experience was because he brought enough money to the table that the bank deemed it acceptable.
Lauren had done an amazing job interviewing and hiring people all week, and he sent up a silent prayer, thankful she’d been sent to him. He wouldn’t have been able to get all that done in just a few days’ time, and she hadn’t even asked him to talk about wages.
He didn’t deserve her, just like Preston had said about all the guys in her life. But he held a sliver of hope that after all of this settled, he’d be able to figure things out with her. Would she even want him after how he’d been acting the past several days?
The real question was, could he bear to lose her? She’d brought more life back to him in just a few days than Cara ever had, and if he didn’t have Lauren in his life, he wasn’t sure how hard it would be to come back from that.
“I think I’m making a mess of my life, Bear. What do you say to that?” He looked down at his dog, whose eyes were barely open as he watched the icy landscape in front of them. “But I think I love her.”
The thought overwhelmed him, and a warm sensation seeped through his limbs, as if signaling he was right.
Bear grunted, and Walker smiled. Nothing like a dog to put him in his place.
As he walked inside, Walker was amazed by the amount of Christmas decorations already hung in the great room. He looked through all the rooms and kitchen, hoping to find Lauren somewhere so he could apologize. He found her standing on the front porch, staring out at the mountain and the road in front of them.
Her car had been towed away on Monday night, and she’d said something about them totaling it, but he hadn’t taken the time to talk to her about anything other than the business in the past few days.
He stepped out onto the porch, and if she noticed he was out there, she didn’t acknowledge it.
“Lauren, I’m sorry about out there. I shouldn’t have been so blunt.”
She turned to him, her usually green eyes appearing more dark gray in the low light of the cloudy afte
rnoon. “Thank you for apologizing. I know this is a lot of work and it’s your dream, but I’m trying to make it happen, trying to be a part of it too. So just know that I’m emotionally invested in this place as well.” The hardness of her tone caused Walker to pause, surprised by her words.
He hadn’t thought about someone else hoping for something just as much as he did, but it was nice to have someone to share the burden with.
“I understand. Any news? I know it’s been all of ten minutes, but I was hoping some miracle would blow a chef through the doors.” He smiled, hoping it would ease the hardness of her features. She gave him a courtesy smile and shook her head.
“No, nothing yet. There are some options of people in the valley who could cover for us until we find someone who will go full time.” She licked her lips, drawing his attention to them.
As much as he wanted to kiss her to show her how sorry he was for snapping, he could tell from her rigid body language that now was not the right time.
Walker nodded. “Who are you thinking?”
“Your mom would be an excellent chef. She was up there with mine in winning awards every year at the county fair.”
“She would be good, but she still has a lot going on at the ranch and wouldn’t be able to be gone for six-plus hours on a weeknight.” Walker took a few paces to the side and walked back, hoping the movement would reveal someone they could use for a while.
“What about you?” Lauren’s words stopped him in his tracks.
His head snapped toward her, trying to see if she was serious. “Me? A chef?”
When she nodded, he said, “I’d never survive. And I really don’t know that much about cooking.”
“You do, though. At least you’d be able to learn the menu and cook that. Keep it simple, and with the cook staff we’ve hired, you should have enough help to serve the fifty-plus occupancy restaurant.” She gave him a knowing look, and the more he thought about it, the more he knew it was going to have to happen. What other options did he have to save the opening of his restaurant?
“We’ll need to practice, then. Maybe get our families together so I can cook? We can have the staff come in early to make sure we get all the bugs out before opening day.” His voice wobbled on the last few words, not truly believing he was agreeing to this. He would do anything to make this lodge work, not only for his own pride, but for the economy of the Coldwater Creek Valley.
“I’ll make sure to call everyone and have them come in. Sunday would be best so we can order anything we’re missing before Tuesday.” She nodded and moved toward the door, brushing her shoulder against his.
He reached out and caught her wrist. “Is everything else okay?”
Lauren took a deep breath, as though she was trying to decide on an answer. “Can we talk later? After I make these calls, I mean?”
“Sure. You just let me know when you’re ready.”
She walked inside and shut the door firmly behind her.
What could be bugging her? Had his sharp words affected her that much? Was she upset that he’d been so distant this week? He just hoped he’d have the answers to give her when it came time.
Chapter 20
She was a chicken. A big chicken. Why hadn’t she just stayed out there and asked him all the questions that had been piling up over the past few days?
Because she didn’t want to be hurt by the answers. Maybe everything she’d imagined about a future with Walker had all come because of time stuck together in the lodge. Maybe she’d just read into it all wrong, just like she had with Cory. That thought sank deep, causing an ache she couldn’t ignore.
She’d never been good at relationships, but the way he’d been avoiding her since she’d started working for him gave her the impression that she’d just made up everything between them, playing on her teenage crush fantasies and believing something was there when it wasn’t.
Well, she could be the stalwart employee and make sure this company ran better than Walker had ever imagined. She’d forget about them and mend her heart one day at a time, knowing that at some point, she’d be okay with how her life goals had changed over the years. It would all be worth it in the end. To have a rewarding career and get the chance to help plan the bigger events like wedding receptions and big family gatherings. Those were so much more rewarding than having to file insurance claims.
But this was how her life was going to be. She just needed to steel herself from feeling anything for her boss, knowing it wouldn’t work out anyway. It seemed like his injury and former relationship still had somewhat of a hold over him, even though she didn’t know the complete story there.
Picking up her phone, she dialed Kassidy, knowing she needed something to do that night to get her mind off Walker. Kassidy picked up after the first ring, and Lauren was grateful.
“Hey, friend. What’s up?” Kassidy said.
“What are you up to tonight?” Lauren asked. “I’m dying to do something.”
“A bunch of us are going to Bridgerton to the karaoke club there. Want to come?”
Karaoke wasn’t one of Lauren’s strong suits, but she was ready for anything that would help her forget that today had happened.
“Sure. Just let me know what time.”
Hanging up, she was grateful for a friend to call who wouldn’t even ask what was going on but just invite her along. She wasn’t in the mood to talk about anything at the moment, and being a little silly might help her to remember why it was good she was moving back to Coldwater Creek.
Kassidy pulled into Lauren’s drive in her large jeep, the one Easton and Walker used to drive in high school. The twins had saved up for their own cars, and Molly still hadn’t gotten her license, but that was her own decision, being seventeen.
“Get in, girl. Let’s go have some fun.”
Lauren laughed as she jumped in, trying to be a bit more ladylike with her knee-length skirt and cowgirl boots. She hadn’t worn the boots since she’d left for college, thinking she was over things like that when she was going to a big city. But deep down, these were her roots, and it was comforting to be sporting them again.
“You look good, girl. Better than the work clothes you wear around the lodge.” Kassidy had visited for a minute on Wednesday, bringing over several prints of Colter’s photos. They were amazing, and just like she’d remembered, he was able to capture some of the most breathtaking moments.
“What is the manager of a hotel supposed to wear? A cowgirl hat and spurs?” Lauren joked, leaning back as Kassidy took off down the highway.
“No, you’d look ridiculous in that. What I’m saying is you should tone it up a little bit. All black makes you look like you should work at a mortuary or something.”
Lauren sighed. “That was one day, all right? I haven’t gotten everything from my apartment yet, so I’m trying to make do with what I have.”
“I’m just playing, girl. How are things with Walker?” She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned at Lauren, causing a pit to form in Lauren’s stomach. She’d rather go back to talking about wardrobe than this.
“Well, I think we’re back to the same state we were in while we were in high school. I must have imagined everything before I left the lodge—”
“Wait a minute.” Kassidy cut her off, her shock making Lauren realize what she’d said. “Do you still like him? You better spill, or I’m going to have to ask him about it.”
Lauren closed her eyes, wishing she’d decided to stay in and do nothing but binge-watch a TV show or something. Then she wouldn’t have to divulge all the humiliating things in her life. No, liking Walker wasn’t humiliating, but the length of her crush on him was. She’d held a little torch for him for at least fifteen years. Was that why she’d never had a good relationship?
Shaking her head, she laughed. She’d had one relationship, and that was with an idiot who didn’t know how to treat a woman.
“Yeah, I like him. But spending that much time with him only made things worse. He’s going
to think I’m Preston’s younger sister until I die, and all I want is for him to see me as a possibility. Take a chance, you know?”
“So, have you kissed yet?” Kassidy asked and then held up a hand. “Wait, I don’t want to know that. He’s my brother, and there’s only so much I need to know.”
“There was an almost-kiss, or two…or three. But of course, my brother had a part in ruining it by texting. There were so many sweet moments with Walker that I was sure he was beginning to feel the same. But he’s been avoiding me, and then he snapped at me when I told him the chef wasn’t coming anymore.”
“Jerk. I’ll have a talk with him.”
Lauren waved her hands at Kassidy. “No, don’t. He already apologized. Maybe I’m just really bad at reading guys. Maybe he never really had feelings for me and things just got complicated because we’d been together for a few days.”
It was quiet for several minutes before Kassidy asked, “So, what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? I’ll just keep working and make sure to avoid him too. Then I won’t go thinking he likes me when he really doesn’t. But I love the lodge. I love working there and the challenge of keeping everything straight. I think it would be hard to leave even though I’ve only been working there a week.”
“What about talking to him?” Kassidy asked, her eyes narrowing in on the road.
Shame rushed through Lauren. What could she say? “Well, I’ve thought about that. He even asked me what was wrong today, and I told him I’d talk to him later. Then I ducked out before he came back in from working on one of the cabins.”
“You chicken! How are you ever going to know the truth if you don’t ask?”
“I know, I know. But there’s a small part of me that wants to cling to the hope that he likes me.” Lauren opened her small purse, trying to find something to occupy herself with until they made it to Bridgerton twenty miles away.
Love Locked Page 9
