by A. J. Jacobs
December holidays, Bible’s scant guidance on
definitions and etymologies:
of “Bible,”
of “blasphemy,”
of “day,”
of “evil tongue,”
of “helmet,”
of “Isaac,”
definitions and etymologies
of “Israel,”
of “lying,”
of “Mazal tov,”
of “own,” as in “own husband,”
of “profanity,”
of “sacred,”
of “scapegoat,”
of “sex,”
of “stealing” (e.g. straws from Starbucks)
of “tumah,”
of “work,”
de la Hoya, Oscar
DeMille, Cecil B., God’s apparent contract with
Dent, Martin, Jubilee epiphany of
Des (nanny), AJ mootly given permission to have affair with
Descartes, René, AJ’s seven previous references to fetish of
Deuteronomy, Book of:
on binding money to your hand
on binding the commandments to your hand and between your eyes
on correct attire
on the generations punished for fathers’ sins
on keeping the feast of booths
on a lifetime of Bible reading
on loans to your neighbor
on the Lord’s send off to Moses
on Moses’ completion of his book
on not hardening your heart against your poor brethren
on not mixing wool and linen
on not taking the mother bird with the young
on offering peace before attacking enemy
on returning lost property
the Shema in
on sparing the rod, and then some
on teaching children obedience to God’s laws
on thanksgiving prayer
on there being no escape from God’s curses
on time of Egyptian slavery
on tithing produce
on when to break a cow’s neck
witnesses of sin required in
on writing the commandments on your doorposts
Deutsch, Nathaniel, on Esau’s “kiss,”
Diaz, Cameron, plans for ignoring love life of
Dickinson, Emily, all white wardrobe of
Diesel, Vin, actually paying to see a movie of
dinosaurs
how Noah fit them into the ark
humans once on friendly terms with
medieval dragons as
Dismantling the Big Bang,
DIY religion
Dobson, James, paddling recommended by
Doctors Without Borders and other selfless secular groups
documentary hypothesis
doing good, by secularists vs. people of faith
Dome of the Rock
dominionism, influence of
Don’t Know Much about the Bible(Davis)
doorpost:
lamb’s blood painted on
slave put against (it’s complicated and horrific)
writing commandments on
Dora the Explorer, eye-catching suburban mom on
earth age
significance of a life compared to
Ecclesiastes (Qohelet): on dabbing oil on head
eating and drinking encouraged by
on overhearing your servant (or others) curse you
on seasonality
on there being a time for every matter
on there being no end of books
a time for not reading of
on visiting the house of mourning
on wearing white garments
on when an untimely birth is better than living
on the whole duty of man
on the uncertainties of life
writer of
Eden, Garden of: the actual forbidden fruit in
creationist diorama of
edible crickets, locusts, etc.
eggs: human, implanting of
Karaite avoidance of
pigeon’s, sensitively separating mother from
Egypt, ancient
Hebrew Exodus from
Hebrew slavery in
reciting only Nine plagues of
size of private parts in
teenage AJ in family visit to
Eighth Commandment
see also stealing
Einstein, Albert, neuron-sparing identical suits in closet of
elders, rising in honor of
elimination issues, outdoor, directionality in
Elizabeth (friend), coveted front yard of
Encyclopaedia Britannica,
see also Know-It-All, The encyclopedias, Bible’s differences from
end times, how now red cows are signs of
Ephesians, Epistle to, on unwholesome talk
Epicureanism, Ecclesiastes as Bible’s best source of
epiphanies: at bat mitzvah
on Bible project
of experiencing oneness in AJ’s teen years
on God’s “immersion journalism,”
on Jubilee concept linked to third-world debt
of longed-for spiritual state
ritual chicken as Isaac to AJ’s Abraham
Epstein, Rabbi, on kaparot ritual
Equal Rights 4 All
equal-time policy
“erythrocyte,” AJ haunted by memories of
Esau, Jacob and
Escher, M. C., biblical paradox likened to drawings of
Esquire magazine
AJ’s stint as food editor of
“Bible guy” assigned mischievously by
“dressage dinosaur” mocked by
God contrasted with
menstrual schedules emailed to AJ at
no-sex productivity at
poly-cotton T-shirt of
Esquire magazine (cont.) raiding supply cabinet of
serpent-handling article of
Wikipedia article of
Essenes, white clothes of
Esther, story of
ethics, faith-based
Ethiopia, Judah warned of alliance with
etrog, see Adam’s etrog
evangelical Christianity
faith vs. good works in
in gay, anti-Robertson Bible study group
gay issue as viewed in
key difference between Judaism and
literalists of
primacy of being born again in
in Sabbath comeback
transformation in following Christ promised by
Evangelicals Concerned
Bible verses read in
Jesus’ divinity emphasized in
knowledge of clothes in
see also Blair, Ralph
Eve, at Creationist Museum
see also Adam and Eve
everything: purposefulness of
thankfulness for
written in the Book of Life
evil tongue (lashon hara)
see also forbidden speech
evolution, creationist rejection of
Exodus, Book of
on adultery
on causing a pregnant woman to lose her offspring
on coveting
cursing ruler of your people banned in
on God’s paramountcy
on graven images
on honoring your parents
on how not to forget the Ten Commandments
on keeping the Sabbath
on a land flowing with milk and honey
on making incense
on making no mention of other gods
on marking hand and forehead as a memorial to the Lord’s law
on not joining hands with wicked men
on not oppressing strangers
on penalty for striking parents
on rules for Passover
on separating milk and meat (and ultimately banning cheeseburgers)
on stealing
on treatment of slaves
“eye for an eye,”
“turn the other cheek” vs.
Ezekiel: earthy language of
God’s bread-making instruction to
heroic performances of
on intergenerational punishment
on the sweetness of the roll God has given him
false evidence
false gods
false Messiah (Antichrist)
false prophets
false witness, liars given hope by narrowed views on
Falwell, Jerry
attending a disappointingly bland sermon of
9/11 seen as divine retribution by
rueful lying on visit to
“soul winners” encouraged by, ultraliteral Christianity well represented by
family, immortality achieved through
fantasies, truth telling about
Farrow, Mia
Feed the Children
fertility:
Bible awash with thoughts of
see also being fruitful and multiplying; pregnancy
fertility clinic
AJ and Julie at
inquiring about last frozen embryo at
fibers, mixed, ban against
Fifth Commandment
see also parents, honoring of
Finding Nemo, creationist view of
First Amendment rights
First Commandment
see also God
Fluker’s Farms, edible bugs supplied by
Focus on the Family
Foer, Jonathan Safran, coveted speaking fee of
Fonzie, nonmenacing white worn by
food
banned, see forbidden foods
giving thanks for
going vegetarian with scriptural backing
grease-soaked latkes, scriptural silence on
of Hebrew slaves in Egypt
kosher but actually inedible
locusts, crickets, and grasshoppers on list of approved bugs
modified Mediterranean diet
of rabbits
Robertson’s age-defying pancakes
Food and Drug Administration
food metaphors:
biting off more than you can chew
in cafeteria religion
chopped-salad laws
on having a hunger and/or a thirst
in Song of Solomon
foot washing:
Amish
gargling compared to
offered (unsuccessfully) to AJ’s guests
forbidden beds
forbidden bugs
forbidden chairs
forbidden clothes:
if disturbingly form fitting
of mixed fibers
nonwhite
of questionable skins
women’s, unless women are wearing them
forbidden drink, biblical ambiguities about
forbidden foods
cheeseburgers
in common restrictions of the day
elusive rules on
lists of
tribal identity, not health, as basis of
forbidden footballs (if pigskin)
forbidden fruit
fig, grape, pomegranate…
orange, not apple as
from recently planted tree
forbidden fun
forbidden games
forbidden haircuts
forbidden holidays
forbidden images
see also idols, idolatry
forbidden pity, in rarely applied tactic
forbidden Sabbath behavior
forbidden sex, see adulterers, adultery; bestiality; homosexuality; incest; but not polygamy forbidden speech
AJ’s clamming up rather than spewing of
allowable types of
biblical synonyms for
bloviating putz’s narrow escape from torrent of
Julie chided on resorting to
metaphors for
often avoided in AJ’s presence
Talmud on
forbidden tap water
forbidden uncle, see Gil (ex-uncle)
forbidden women:
impure, periodic avoidance of
married; see also adulterers, adultery
in purple flip-flops or low-riding, Calvins; see also lust avoidance
virgins, with important exceptions
forbidden words, D
A-
of an atheist’s Methodist, Victorian aunt
B-
of a beloved vegan-feminist, politically correct aunt
cleaner (and mainly sweeter) substitutes for
in ClearPlay
of creationists
F-
H-
S-
sound-alike surrogates for
see also forbidden speech
forbidden work
Ford, Henry
foreskin, men (who else?) seeking recovery of
forgiveness:
with an asterisk
of debts
in Jesus’ moral teaching
in Jonah story
for meeting ex-uncle
no literal limits to
rationality transcended in
forklifts and cement mixers, God as arguably in
forty days:
Israelite impatience with
much to talk about in
Fourth Commandment
see also Sabbath
freedom from choice
free speech, responsibility vs.
free will
Freud, Sigmund
on obsessional character of religion
fringes, see tassels
Fryer, Greg
Frying Pan, fashion show at
dismayingly provocative outfits worn at
foxy payot fondler given the brush at
fundamentalists
beyond-the-pale
on Bible’s authorship
cafeteria religion as seen by
domino theory of
modernists vs.
as modern phenomenon
polygamous sects of
red heifer in eschatological scenario of
righteous idiocy as logical direction of
serpent handlers, an engaging subclass of
Galambush, Julie, on Israelite bloodletting
Galatians, Epistle to, on crucifying one’s passions and desires
games:
forbidden
movie-title
gay marriage, creationists on
gender equality:
Bible’s moments of
Israelite level of interest in
gender segregation:
Hasidic
Samaritan
Genesis:
on Abraham’s attempted deception of the Pharaoh
on being fruitful and multiplying
on circumcision
on creation of the heavens and earth
on early-rising Abraham
on Eden’s population
fertility “dominant theme” of
on the heat
on how man and woman must cleave to each other
on Jacob and Esau
on Leah’s again conceiving and bearing a son
on Leah’s trade of son’s dud mandrakes for a night with, Jacob
on the Lord’s promise to Abraham to multiply his seed
on the Lord’s view that Adam should not live a solitary life
on offering drink
on pain in childbearing
pot smoking supposedly favored by
on speaking to the Lord about sparing Sodom
Tamar’s tale in
on tithing
genocide, biblical
geocentric universe, far-out creationists’ belief in
Gerizim, Mount, sacredness of
germaphobia
Gershom ben Judah, one-spouse-only law of
Gershon (friend)
Gil (ex-uncle)
adoring and docile cult followers of
autobiography of (Coming Back to Earth)
biblical literalism of
biography of (Yea God)
cult leadership qualities observed in
ex-nephew’s first meeting with
family dread and denial of
faulty sign language of
God’s eye is evidently on the, sparrow’s droppings that fall on
guests who give lip to
inspirational tassels of
omnivorous spirituality of
“Only holy topics!” demanded of guests by
parents’ forgiveness for AJ’s meeting with
quasifamous dinner of
theological principles of
three years’ silence of
gleanings
in AJ’s cucumber fiasco
Ruth’s gathering of Boaz and
updating harvest idea in
Glickman, Kim, extrasensory talents imagined in
global warming, Falwell’s reassurances about
God:
attempted visualizing of
avoiding idolatry in worship of
God (cont.)
bargaining with and wasting time of
children punished for fathers’ sins by
cluttering in-box of; see also prayer
despite intercession, Sodom and, Gomorrah laid waste by
a different type of cooking dung as Ezekiel’s plea to
as dwelling more easily in text than images
Eden justly regulated by
feeling the pleasure of
first words to Adam from
first words to Moses from
free will as lesson to parents from
how the sparrow’s droppings may be eyed by
human emotions of
“immersion journalism” as creation of
interactiveness of
Jonah’s fury at
on a “learning curve,”
mainly said when preceded by, “Oh my,”
minister’s specifications for a wife met on time by
name of
at Paramount
prosperity seen as will of
reason for praise of
three phases of belief in
thunderous curses tipping scale against blessings of
traditional arguments for existence of
unconditional love from
what to tell children about
woman now on drawing board, Adam told by
as Yahweh, boss of all other, Gods
God: A Biography(Miles)
Gods and Generals,
God’s Politics (Wallis)
“God willing,”
Goldberg, Michelle, on Dominionist influence
Good News Bible
Good Samaritan, Jesus’ parable of
Good Samaritan Coffee Shop
good servant, parable of
Gordon, Nehemiah, on biblically sound diet
gossip (evil tongue)
see also forbidden speech
Gould, Stephen Jay, on science vs. religion
grace, pre-vs. postprandial
Graham, Billy
hotel rooms specially prepared for
Greenberg, Steven, on partnership of, God and humanity
“Greetings from Idiot America” (Esquire)
