by Terri Brooks
Going over to lay on the couch.
I call Layla to check on her. She drank every darn thing I did and she doesn’t have a hangover.
Lucky Be-otch.
She tells me about her night with Dave last night. I’m glad to hear they worked out their problems.
They went to the hotel and got our stuff. Layla woke up early so she could get their before check out.
She brought my stuff back and parked my car outside of Jakes.
I look out the window feeling so blessed to have such a wonderful friend.
I gave her the extra copy of my car key when I first purchased my car. I’ve locked myself out the house many times and got stuck waiting for mom, dad, or Jake to come let me in. I’m glad I gave her a copy of my car key, as horrible as I feel today it saved me from figuring out how I would get to the hotel to get my clothes and my car.
I’m pulled out my thought when I hear crashing noises coming from upstairs.
I slowly move up the steps towards the bedroom where the noises are coming from.
I stand in the bedroom doorway upset by what I see.
Jake is destroying the fucking room. Tossing everything he can get his hands on. Everything except my belongings.
“Jake, what are you doing?” I’m not sure if he’s sleep walking. I am confused as hell.
He freezes with his hand in midair. Casually turning his body around to me. “I thought you fucking left me again.” This is an eye opener. We are hurting each other. Bringing the bad out in each other.
We’ve just basically made it official and already having so many problems. Relationships are fucking hard. We’ve never acted like this with each other. I don’t like it.
I was going to leave before he woke up. I wanted to talk to him first. I think we need a little time apart. Time to think separately. I don’t want us to end up hating each other. Or worse destroying our family.
I’m going to woman up and stop playing these childish games. Ignoring him doesn’t solve anything. Leaving doesn’t fix anything. It just shoves the problems on the back burner.
If I left before he woke up, I don’t think the house would be standing.
“I don’t wanna leave you Jake, I’m terrified of you fighting Jake. I don’t want you fighting. The fear I felt thinking I would lose you was to hard for me to bare. The hurt I felt when you turned your back on me and the thought of losing you is not something I could handle lightly. I couldn’t live in a world without you. I felt so helpless watching you get punched and the fact it was because of me that you were fighting in the first place weighed heavy on my chest. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have been on the mat with Killian. You wouldn’t have put yourself in harms way. What you guys are doing is illegal. What if you get locked up? I don’t want to visit my husband behind bars, certain times of week for a limited amount of time. I want to go back to our parents house for a little while Jake. We grew up together and we’ve never fought like this until we officially became a couple. If something was to happen to you on the mat, I don’t think we would survive it. Our parents were lucky to find love again. But, you and I, it would kill us. I think we need a little breather. I’m not going to continue with this relationship as long as your fighting. I refuse to sit home after work and wonder if your okay. You can forget about the ideal of me watching you fight. I can’t handle watching someone inflict pain on you.” His eyes have a haunted look, I almost want to look away.
I understand now what my father meant. I hope we can work this out without destroying our family. “We’re married Holly, There isn’t any space. If you want space you get it here. Your not leaving me. I couldn’t sleep or fucking eat wondering where you were while you was out fucking partying. The love I have for you runs too deep. I had you and it got even stronger. I need you near. Don’t torture me like this. I’m working on a solution with the fights. The gym is doing good now. I just need you to believe me. I didn’t want to tell you until I switched everything over. I’m not letting this shit ruin us and neither are you. We’re married, we’re supposed to back each other up. I talked to the guys we came up with a plan. Noah’s uncle is helping us put everything into place. All I need is time.” His eyes swam with tears.
I’ve never seen Jake cry. Even when we were younger and he’d get hurt playing sports. He would have me talk to him focusing on my voice instead of the pain while he got bandaged up.
This is really taking an emotional toll on us. Love hurts and it doesn’t come with a book to guide you through the ups and down.
“So in the process, you want me to stay here? Pretend everything is perfect? While you put your plans into place? How do I even know your telling me the truth when you’ve done lied to me?” He grits his teeth.
“When are you going to trust me? That is a major problem between us. I’ve never asked you for anything Holly, except to love and trust me, and your bitching about that. Noah’s uncle is in the process of helping us turn the basement unto a boxing & fitness class. That a way no one will lose any money. The guys and I can rotate coaching our members. If you can’t trust me and I’m not worth you worrying over then maybe you should fucking leave. You questioned my love for you, but it’s you who has a fucked up way of showing love.” Jake is furious. He looks like a bomb ready to explode. I turn to leave giving him my back just like he did to me.
When I begged him to not finish that fight, he walked away from me. Now I’m doing the same to him.
I am fucked up for this. Always wanting to get even.
I hear his footsteps thundering behind me. I pick up speed.
He catches me, turns me around. “Your really leaving?” I grimace, Jake has never spoken to me in a roaring tone like this. He sounds so harsh.
“Yes, look what we’re doing to each other Jake. I don’t want us to hate each other. I begged you not to finish that fight. You turned your back on me. I’m not sitting here wondering if your gonna come home or not.” He shakes his head.
“Grow up little girl. Always wanting revenge. You make me feel I’m not worth it Holly. I would never turn my back on you. I had to finish that fight. I didn’t have a choice. Too many people spent money to watch that fight. I couldn’t stop in the middle of that.” I put my hands on his cheek.
“Jake your worth it. I love you and because of that I have to leave. You made me feel like I was second when you only ever made me feel first in your life. That hurt me so much. You made me feel I wasn’t worth it. You fought him because I danced with him. When I pleaded with you to come home. You said you had to finish. I’m giving you space so you can do what you have to do without me in your way. I love you too much to sit back and wait. I’m afraid someone will call me and tell me your locked up, or got hurt fighting. I don’t want that.” Tears fall out of my eyes.
He forcefully smashes his lips to mine.
I freeze for a minute not kissing back.
He aggressively brushes his lips against mine. I give in and kiss him back just as hard. Knowing this will be the last kiss for a while.
I try to climb up his body, but he holds me tightly in place. Whispering against my lips. “Don’t leave Holly, trust me.” Rubbing my hands through his hair I whisper “Stop the fights.” I kiss his jawline down to his neck.
“I can’t stop the others from fighting. I won’t participate in anymore.” He picks me up. Sliding my shorts to the side. Pushing his cock into me.
I arch back as he begins moving. “Tell me you won’t leave Holly.” Angling his head down to bite my nipples. “Answer me. You spoiled ass brat”
“I’m leaving, as long as the fights continue there is a chance you could go to jail. I’m not reporting into work until you get everything situated.” He looks deep into my eyes. His eyes are watering causing me to cry to.
He thrusts into me hard, moaning loudly in his arms.
I scratch down his back, causing him to grunt. We stare at each other as he slowly thrusts in and out of me. Nestling closer, putting my lips on his we
kiss, long and passionately.
I let the tears fall from my eyes tasting the salt between out kisses.
He continues thrusting in and out of me slowly grinding me a little harder, always giving me what I need.
I shatter in his arms, he plunges deeper into me.
Throwing his head back with a roar when he cums.
Not wanting to move, wishing things were different.
Making my clasp on Jake so much tighter “I love you Jake so much. I hope you’re telling me the truth. Leaving you will hurt but not as awful as staying and something terrible happening to you. If something happened to you it would kill me.” I kiss his cheek, holding my lips there for a few seconds, before pulling back and sliding down his body.
Turning and leaving letting him look at my back as I go the same way I watched him walk back to the fight.
Chapter 17
HOLLY-18 YEARS OLD
ONE WEEK LATER....
I’ve been at moms and dads for a week now. I didn’t go into details with them and they have respect my privacy.
I can’t snitch on Jake. He had his reasons and after simmering down I understand his reasons for not wanting to ask for help. He needs to realize my father loves him like his own and would never look down on him.
He’s back to his one word phrases. He isn’t the only one hurting. I am too.
I haven’t seen him since walked away a week ago. We text everyday to check on each other.
I text him every night making sure he home. I do worry about him. I can’t stop myself from thinking something bad is going to happen. I regret going to the gym that night.
I worry about him everyday, knowing the fights are in the evening. I can’t relax until he texts me back so I know he made it home safe. I think he knows because he replies back quick never leaving me hanging.
Layla’s birthday party is today. Dave is throwing her a cookout.
I can’t think of alcohol. I’ll be staying away from that. My stomach has not been right since Layla and I went out drinking.
I’m having trouble holding down some of my favorite foods. Certain smells are making me nauseous.
I went to the mall earlier and bought Layla the dress I seen her eyeing up in the window of her favorite store. She loves wearing dresses.
I asked Layla if Jake was coming, she wasn’t sure if he was or wasn’t.
She said Dave text him and he didn’t respond.
Jake and I have never went this long without seeing each other. I miss seeing his beautiful face. His face is meant to be loved not bruised.
THERE IS A FEW PEOPLE here at Layla’s birthday party. Mostly the guys from the gym.
I’m sitting at the table with Layla. Dave went over to the table where the guys are.
I’m picking my burger staring at my plate avoiding eye contact with Jake.
I looked at him when he walked in he looks just as I feel.
His eyes were sunken in. He hasn’t trimmed his facial hair in a while. That’s unusual for him, he normally shapes his face up every morning. His goatee is starting to look like a beard.
His hair is shaggy looking well overdue for a haircut.
His clothes are wrinkled and he looked empty, and exhausted.
I feel awkward in his presence. We’ve never been this close yet so far apart.
I feel his gaze burning holes through me. I stare at my food not wanting to meet his gaze.
Taking another bite of my burger unable to swallow it, I run into Layla’s house to the bathroom on the first floor and puke everything up. I didn’t bother locking the door.
Layla comes in before I can finish. She laughs at me. I am puking my guts up and she finds the shit funny.
She reaches up in her medicine cabinet taking something out of the box. “Here, take this.” It is a pregnancy test.
I look at her dumbfounded. I have not gotten my period since Jake and I have done it, but even if I were I would think it would be to early to tell.
“What are you doing with these?” Not everyone keeps these in their medicine cabinet unless they had to use one.
“I’m pregnant Holly, don’t mention it in front of Dave yet. He’s been wanting one for a while and it finally happened. I am going to plan something so romantic and blow him away.” Her eye gleam with happiness.
“Stay in here with me while I take it. Jake asked me about babies. With what happen to my mother I didn’t want to chance it. I haven’t done anything to stop it from happening though. With the way things are though I am not sure it would be the right time.” I say looking at the test.
I pull my pants down and pee on it, sitting it on the sink.
Layla and I are standing there staring at it waiting to see the results.
She puts her arm around my shoulder. “You will be a good mother Holly, and I know Jake will be a good father. He has nothing but love for you. Can you imagine how happy he’d be if you told him he was going to be a father. He barely denies you shit now. If you are pregnant he’d never fucking deny you. And the coolest part we’d go through this together. Our babies would be raised together.” She squeals so darn loud it makes my ears ring.
I look at her, she is jumping up and down. I put my hands on Layla’s shoulder, “Stop jumping girl, it can’t be good for the baby.”
She looks at me her face is glowing. “Your pregnant, Holly. We are going to be mothers.”
I swallow taking the test from her hand. Oh shit. I am going to be a mother. Regardless of the situation I feel so much love for my baby already.
I place one of my hands on my stomach, and one on Layla’s. She does the same. I look at her with tears in my eyes. “We’re pregnant, cheesesteak.”
She gives me hollywood kisses. “We are, french fry.” Hugging each other. “Together?” She whispers.
“Together” I reply.
Chapter 18.
HOLLY. 18 YEARS OLD.
Layla and I leave out the bathroom after we dry our eyes. Sit back at our table and talk low about our pregnancy.
I change the subject when I see some girl sit across from Jake and they look to be in a serious conversation. Jealousy runs through me.
“Layla do you know who that is?” She looks over.
She looks at me smiling. “That is the nurse, they want her to work in the boxing & fitness class when they open it. I think it is time you go get your man Holly. You are going to have a baby. Your already married. Stop playing these childish games ignoring each other. Your allowing you foolishness to get in the middle of you two. It isn’t right. He loves you and your doing all of this to get back at him. Jake wasn’t lying to you. If you had just a pinch of faith in him you would of knew this by now. But, no you love running, girl. He is doing all of this for you because you didn’t like the fights. He looks horrible and so do you. Put and end to this and go over there.” She is right. Layla has always been honest with me. Never steering me in the wrong direction.
I take her advice. I am going to be a mother. Time to grow up. It’s now or never.
Standing up I glance back over at Jake, his eyes are burning into mine. Even though the girls lips are moving he isn’t paying her any attention. His attention is on me.
I made a mistake by leaving him. I should never of walked away. He would never leave me. A part of me knew this. I should have trusted him. He may have lied to me but he would never hurt me on purpose.
I’d rather be with him and worry than to be away from him another minute. Life is too short to stay away from the ones we love.
It is time I fix what I broke.
I walk over not saying anything when I reach him. He looks broken. The same way I feel.
A weight settles on my chest, crushing my heart. I don’t risk talking and it leading to an argument.
I couldn’t handle him rejecting me. It would hurt to much.
I climb onto his lap, fearful he will push me away.
It is the opposite. He wraps his strong muscular arms around me. We are breathi
ng each other in.
I cry into his neck holding onto him for dear life. Regret is smothering me.
He picks me up and carries me into Dave and Layla’s guess bedroom.
When he sits on the bed I wrap my arms solidly around his neck not letting go. Wrapping my legs tightly around his sides.
I can’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes. All of this pain when it could have been prevented.
“Why are you crying Holly, what’s going through that stubborn head of yours baby?” He’s stroking my hair, peppering kisses everywhere he can.
My strong Jake, always worried about me. As rough as he looks and he is comforting me.
“I missed you so much Jake, Please forgive me. I am so sorry for not trusting you. I should never have walked away from you, when you have done nothing but loved me with everything you had. I can’t put into words how sorry I am for turning my back on you. I was angry and I was being foolish. I am your wife I should be by your side.” I see the relief wash over his face, and instantly my chest feels lighter.
“I can’t sleep without you, not seeing you is worse than any injury I ever had from fighting. In a couple of days the paperwork for the boxing & fitness class will be complete. The illegal fighting is done. I can’t do this back in fourth Holly. I need you like I need air. I can’t live without air and I can’t live without you. You’re either in or you’re out. Once the paperwork processes I want you and Layla to re design the basement fill it with brightness. I want you and Layla to run it together. Dave talked to Layla already and agreed to. After having you Holly and then having you walk away from me is breaking me. I can’t do it. Only you can put me together.” He kisses me desperately.
We are in a sexual frenziedly. Neither one of us is in control. “I’m done walking away Jake.” My hormones are running wild.
Once we are both naked he flips me on my back. I can’t keep my hands off of him. He slips inside of me not wasting anymore time. “Your ready to come back home Holly? He kisses my lips only giving me a peck. “Yes,baby.” I murmur against his lips.
