The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company

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The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company Page 48

by L. G. Estrella


  In theory.

  Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier.

  The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

  The Trouble With Werewolves

  The Department Series Part One

  Listen up rookies, I’m going to keep this short, and I’m going to keep this simple. If you’re going to be an agent for the Australian Department of Unusual Events, then you need to know how to deal with werewolves. And werewolves, rookies, are not pleasant creatures to deal with. The average werewolf is seven feet tall and weighs roughly two hundred and fifty kilograms. The average werewolf also wants nothing more than to rip your face off and eat you for dinner.

  If you want to beat a werewolf, you can’t afford to fight fair. No, you cheat – you cheat as much as you bloody can. If that means sneaking up on it and putting a silver bullet in the back of its head with a sniper rifle, then that’s what you do. But I’m not going to waste your time by telling you what you already know. I’m not going to tell you about a mission where everything went right. I’m going to tell you about a mission where things went wrong because things always go wrong and learning how to deal with that is the only way you’ll last more than a year or two in the Department.

  So pay attention and take notes. It could save your life.

  Beneath a Shattered Sky

  The Fracture Chronicles Part One

  There were idiots – and then there were the Ancients.

  More than two thousand years ago, the Ancients decided that simply killing each other with all the power in one world wasn’t enough. No. They had to use the power of countless other worlds to kill each other.

  Unfortunately, things didn’t quite work out the way they planned.

  The barriers separating the world of Fracture from other worlds shattered, and the Ancients were overrun by endless hordes of otherworldly monsters. Civilisation collapsed, monsters ate lots of people, and pretty much everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

  Oops.

  Eventually, the survivors invented barriers, a powerful form of magic capable of stabilising parts of Fracture and keeping out otherworldly monsters. Score one for civilisation.

  Sophie is a graduate of Relic’s Temple, a warrior trained to use innate magic to fight all manner of bloodthirsty otherworldly monsters in hand-to-hand combat. At her legendary mother’s behest, she goes on a journey to find her mother’s almost-as-legendary former student. The problem is that Matilda isn’t quite what all the legends say.

  Oh, Matilda has got ass kicking down to an art form, and she’s an absolute genius at barrier magic, but she’s also an irredeemable (and highly successful) flirt who is seemingly immune to the effects of alcohol. She also likes to give people nicknames – irritatingly accurate nicknames.

  Before she knows it, Sophie is part of Matilda’s crew, journeying across Fracture in semi-epic fashion while performing acts of heroism for fame, charity, glory, and the occasional big payday. When she’s not being fired out of a sky-ship to board a pirate vessel, she’s fighting hordes of otherworldly monsters with a troubled city in their sights.

  But it is beneath a shattered sky that Sophie finally learns that Matilda really is every bit the legend people say she is.

  Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf

  The Unconventional Heroes Series Part One

  Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf – it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.

  Timothy Walter Bolton – better known as Timmy – has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn’t terrorising his enemies, he’s plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it’s time to find a new, less dangerous, career.

  But that’s easier said than done. He’s a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.

  Hope arrives in the form of a new law. War is coming to Everton, and the Council is desperate. In exchange for providing some help, Timmy might just earn that pardon he’s been looking for. Of course, just because it’s possible to earn a pardon doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy.

  To earn his pardon, Timmy is going to have to take down some of Everton’s most dangerous enemies and put together a quirky group of unconventional heroes, most of whom want nothing more than to mangle him and/or the Council in as vicious a way as possible. It’s a good thing that he’s got some help: an obnoxious ten-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up.

  Wonderful.

  Still, Timmy’s never been one to back down from a challenge even if their first recruit is basically the elf version of the bogeyman.

  Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord

  The Unconventional Heroes Series Part Two

  Two necromancers, an army of golems, and a demon lord – it sounds like a recipe for trouble, and for Timmy, it definitely is.

  To earn his pardon and avoid horrible torture and/or gruesome execution, Timmy has to complete every mission the Council throws his way, most of which seem to involve extremely scary things trying to kill him. At least he’s got help – sort of. His help consists of an apprentice with designs on his castle (and her plans may or may not involve overthrowing him), a bureaucrat whose two greatest skills are fainting in the face of trouble and using people (usually Timmy) as human shields, and an elf with the world’s worst case of pyromania and enough magic to level a mountain.

  Somehow, Timmy’s got to get this bunch of unconventional heroes to work together. Trouble is coming, and it’s trouble of the kind that only a necromancer like Timmy could possibly find himself in the middle of. An army of killer golems is on the loose, which may give Timmy the excuse he needs to legally unleash wave after wave of killer zombies. Zombie versus golem – it’s every necromancer’s dream. And then there’s the demon lord that’s out to usher in the apocalypse. Sure, demons aren’t exactly his specialty, but there’s nothing that a good magical shovel to the back of the head can’t fix.

  One way or another, Timmy is going to get his pardon and a tax rebate too – even if it means going up against murderous golems, insane demon lords, or mischievous ninja rodents with a predilection for magical swords and the skills to back up the trash talk.

  Two Necromancers, a Dragon, and a Vampire

  The Unconventional Heroes Series Part Three

  Two necromancers, a dragon, and a vampire – it sounds like a shortcut to disaster, and for Timmy, it’s certainly looking that way.

  To earn his pardon and avoid becoming yet another necromancer statistic, Timmy has to work for the Council. From bandit uprisings to giant sea serpents and ogre invasions, Timmy and the others are there to save the day – sort of.

  And despite relying on overly intelligent ninja rats, an elf who believes that fire is the answer to everything, a bureaucrat who struggles to stay conscious through an entire fight, and a precocious apprentice who has designs on his castle, property damage per mission is down, they haven’t blown up another mountain, and they’ve gone several missions without ripping a hole in reality.

  Naturally, it won’t last.

  When the dragon egg their resident pyromaniac stole hatches to reveal the world’s cuddliest harbinger of death, Timmy and
the others are dragged into a pair of diabolically dangerous missions. Breaking out of one of the world’s most secure prisons was hard enough. Now, they have to break back in to rescue a vampire.

  And then there’s the Eye of the Abyss. Does your country have a problem with a divine artefact capable of singlehandedly winning a war? Don’t worry. Just send Timmy and the gang. They’ll handle it, and Timmy might even get to live every necromancer’s dream with… zombie pirates.

  Timmy and the others want their pardons, and they’re not going to let anyone stop them, not armies, not fleets, not even the most powerful empire the world has ever seen that just so happens to hold a centuries-old grudge against Everton.

  The world is going to learn a very important lesson: never, ever underestimate a necromancer with a shovel and time to plan.

  The Last Huntress Series

  Collection One: Parts One To Four

  They meet on a lonely road lit only by moonlight and stained by the blood of werewolves.

  Rose is a girl searching for the power to take back her homeland.

  Scarlett is the last of her line – a huntress sworn to destroy all monsters.

  Rose wants nothing more than to learn the ways of a huntress. She needs the strength to slay the monsters that destroyed her home and slaughtered her family. Only then can she leave the shadows of her past behind and help her people rebuild what they have lost. But the road she must walk is one that Scarlett knows only too well, and there is no room upon it for softness.

  A huntress cannot have mercy, a huntress cannot hesitate, and a huntress cannot fail, not even if it means killing the ones they love the most.

  From the frozen forests of the north, to the fetid swamps of the south, and the towering mountains of east, Scarlett will show Rose what it means to be a huntress. They will face the darkness in their pasts, the old wounds that made them who they are. They will face ancient evils that have endured for centuries, waiting for mankind to grow weak and forget. And they will even face the wrath and power of dragon fire.

  Rose wants to be a huntress. Who better to learn from than the last huntress?

  This collection contains:

  The Last Huntress (The Last Huntress Series Part One)

  The Lord of Dark Waters (The Last Huntress Series Part Two)

  The Fire Upon the Mountain (The Last Huntress Series Part Three)

  The Lonely Wood (The Last Huntress Series Part Four)

  The Gunslinger and the Necromancer

  The Lizzy Stanton Series Part One

  When the Church needs someone to send the denizens of Hell back to where they belong, they go looking for Lizzy Stanton.

  As gunslingers go, Lizzy’s right up there with the best of them. No matter what kind of evil she’s up against, she knows exactly how to handle things – put a holy bullet right between the eyes. But when she takes a job to go after a necromancer over in Pine Creek, she might just have bitten off more than she can chew.

  With zombies, demons, and one tricky necromancer to worry about, Lizzy’s going to have to be real quick on the trigger. In the gunfight between good and evil, she’s the gunslinger who always delivers.

  The Gunslinger and the Train to Hell

  The Lizzy Stanton Series Part Two

  Lizzy is a bounty hunter, and hunting down demons for the Church is something she knows like the back of her hand. So when her brother, Matt, asks her to come with him on a hunt, she’s more than ready for some trouble. Matt is one of the best, and anything bad enough to need the two of them is going to mean one heck of a fight.

  They’re tracking a train that’s been going round. People get on, but they don’t get off. Nobody knows where it goes. Lizzy and Matt reckon there’s a demon behind it all, and they’re right. Before they know it, they’re stuck on a train with dozens of passengers that’s going straight to Hell.

  Getting out of this in one piece isn’t going to be easy. There are imps, Hell Hounds, and things too terrible to have names. And, of course, there’s the demon behind it all too, a demon that’s gotten hold of a train, a demon who can turn every piece of metal, every scrap of wood, every shard of glass into a weapon.

  Lizzy and Matt have a fight on their hands. But if there’s one thing they know how to handle, it’s a fight. That demon better watch out.

  The Burning Mountains

  The Burning Mountains have belonged to dragons since the Old Days when gods still walked the earth. They are a place of fire and ruin where no man dares walk and no elf dares linger long. Only the strong can survive there and only the ruthless can prosper.

  Amidst the smoke, the ash, and the flame, an exiled elven princess will meet an outcast dragon. Alone, they have little hope of survival. But together, they might do more than survive – they might conquer. For the dragon has a realm to claim and the princess has a kingdom to take back.

  There are some lessons that only fire can teach and some wisdom that only a dragon can impart.

  The Wood of Endless Night

  Far to the west, beyond the Burning Mountains where only dragons live, there is a place where the sun is always warm and the winds are always kind. It is called the Pleasant Wood, and it was there that Tareon, a blacksmith’s son, and Valeia, a nobleman’s daughter, met for the first time.

  Despite their differences, they become friends and eventually fall in love. But the days of peace in the west are ending. War has come, and the carnage and ruin of the battlefield have summoned a winged titan from the south. Black Death is a dragon unlike any the west has seen. His scales are adamant, his wings blot out the sun, and his cold fire burns as black as the dead of night.

  Nothing mortal can kill such a dragon. Instead, the people of the west must turn to a place beyond even the Pleasant Wood, a place whose name echoes darkly in the hearts of all who look upon it: the Wood of Endless Night. It is a place of evil and despair that was created countless years ago when the gods slew one of their own that had turned traitor and cast his broken body from the heavens.

  And it is said that the weapon the gods used still remains there, lost in the Endless Night.

  The king of the west has offered honours and riches beyond counting to anyone who can bring back the weapon and slay Black Death. It is Tareon’s only chance to prove himself worthy of Valeia’s hand in marriage. Yet no one has ever returned from the Wood of Endless Night, and if something should befall him, Valeia will surely go after him.

  The Wood of Endless Night and the shadow of a traitorous god await them both.

  Durendal

  Twelve-year-old Billy Winchester’s got a feeling that the war made Duren a monster, but maybe he and his sister can make him a man again.

  Billy’s always dreamed of leaving Sahara VII, a backwater mining planet, for some adventure. But with the galaxy still reeling from decades of war, and an older sister desperate to hang onto the only family she’s got left, he’s not having much luck.

  Then he meets Duren, and suddenly adventure’s right on his doorstep.

  The rugged stranger from another planet is everything Billy wishes he could be. When his sister hires Duren to help at their diner, Billy does his best to make him a part of their family. Trouble is, Duren’s got a past, and it’s the worst sort of bloody. To Billy though, he’s just a man, and a good one at that.

  But danger’s never far on a planet like Sahara VII.

  A cruel mining magnate, Stratton sets his eyes on Billy’s sister, and he won’t take no for an answer. When Stratton kidnaps her, Billy’s going to need the man Duren used to be, the man he hoped Billy would never have to see.

  But Stratton isn’t stupid, and he isn’t alone. He knows Duren is coming for him, and there are people who’ve been waiting a long time for Duren to show himself. Duren won’t have to beat just Stratton and his men – he’ll have to stand toe-to-toe with the vengeful ghosts of his past while keeping Billy clear of the crossfire. Billy’s finally got his adventure, but it might cost him the only family he’s ever known. />
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