by Bella Jewel
I hold both her tiny wrists in one of my big hands and pull her close so her back is nearly touching my chest, her arms wedged behind her, between us. Then I pull off the bandana I was wearing beneath my helmet for the ride and use my free hand to bring it around and pull it to her mouth. She curses and squirms, but she’s no match for me. Not even close.
I release her wrists and she flails around. I need both hands to tie her. I tighten the bandana around the back of her head so it’s across her mouth, restricting her speech. She manages a few punches and a few kicks, but I’m unfazed. Violence, pain—it’s nothing to me. I catch one of her flailing hands and twist it behind her back, making her wince. It isn’t hard, but it’s enough to stop her carrying on.
Then I lean in to her ear. “I told you not to test me, woman. I wasn’t jokin’. Now, you learn to shut that pretty mouth of yours, I’ll take the bandana off, if not, I’ll tie you somewhere in that cabin until you can learn some manners.”
I don’t miss the muffled, mumbled curse words she tries to spit at me through the bandana. Shrugging, I push her forward. She protests for a few moments, but when she nearly trips over her own feet, she realizes it’s better to walk than to have me push her over. So, she puts one foot in front of the other and walks. Me following behind her, keeping her hand behind her back.
We walk a little farther in blissful silence. She doesn’t try and say or do anything, she simply walks. For a while, I enjoy the control. But, I should know she isn’t going to just lie down and take what I’m dishing out. I haven’t known her long, but one thing I have learned about Charlie is that she’s like a dog with a bone. Take that bone away from her, and she’s going to get very, very pissed off. Her bone is her spirit. She refuses to let it be crushed.
Without warning, she reaches out with her free hand and quickly snaps a stick off the bushes scratching into us as we move down the path. Then, very quickly, with precision and skill, she swings it around behind her and stabs into whatever bit of flesh she can find, which happens to be my fucking ribs. Letting out a feral growl, I release her hand and she spins around quickly, holding the stick out at me while her other hand unties the bandana. She drops it to the ground.
“Do not ever do that again,” she warns. “I don’t like being told what to do.”
Fucking feisty little bitch.
“And I don’t like smart-ass, arrogant women not doin’ as they’re told.”
“Then it would appear we have a problem.”
I cross my arms, and my ribs burn from where she drove the stick into them. That’ll fucking bruise tomorrow.
“Then we have only one choice: you stay out of my way, I’ll stay the fuck out of yours.”
She narrows her eyes at me, then nods sharply. “Sounds great to me.”
“Fan-fuckin’-tastic. Now walk.”
She gives me a narrow-eyed look but turns and starts walking, shoulders tense, no doubt waiting for me to dish out my revenge. I don’t, because my anger is bubbling, and I will do something I’ll regret. So, instead, I follow her until we reach a small clearing with a cabin sitting in the middle. Been a while since I’ve been up here—a few of us used to come up on the weekends, before things with the club got tense.
“This is,” Charlie begins, then glances at me, “really nice.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, striding past her and walking up the two small front steps and onto the wrap-around deck.
I pull a key out of my pocket and unlock the front door. It’s a bit dusty, considering it’s been a while since anyone used it, but as soon as I step inside, I see it’s been cleaned. Malakai did say he had it stocked. Guess he forgot to clean the outside while he was at it.
I flick on the main light, and the inside lights up, making it easier to see.
Charlie steps in beside me.
“Oh, wow.”
The cabin is beautiful, I’ll give her that. One large bedroom and a pull out in the couch, polished wooden floors, a huge timber kitchen, a fireplace, a big open living area, and all of it well designed with some fancy ass furniture and rugs. I walk in farther, muttering, “You can take the room. Second to the right.”
Charlie is too busy looking around, running her fingers over the walls and the furniture, to hear what I’m saying.
Anyone would think she’s never seen something beautiful before in her life.
Which boasts the question, how hard was her life, truly?
An answer we’re all seeking.
No doubt.
~*~*~*~
THEN – KODA
Not again.
I drop to my knees, lifting my brother’s head into my arms. His face is the same as mine, like looking into a mirror. Only his cheeks are sunken, his skin gaunt, his eyes no longer the color of honey but the color of dirty water. Drugs. I wish I knew when it started, or how he let it get so bad, but I don’t. It just came on me like a hurricane; one minute he was just going out partying, the next he was suffering mood swings and isolating himself.
I should have known.
But we’re young, just starting out, both of us are leading our own lives. We no longer live in each other’s pockets like we did when we were boys. How was I to know he was using so heavily?
I should have.
That’s just the simple answer.
I should have fucking known.
He’s my brother, but not only that, he’s my twin.
I feel him in a way nobody could ever understand.
I should have been looking out for him.
“Brax, wake up, come on. Wake up, man.”
I shake him a little, but his head is flopping. He’s sprawled out on his bed. Luckily, I had the sense to come by his apartment and check if he’s okay. He’s not, and panic grips my chest. Why the fuck is he doing this? What the hell happened to him to make him this bad? We had a good upbringing, we had good parents before they passed away a few years ago, everything was good.
So, what went wrong?
And why didn’t he tell me about it?
I turn my brother to his side, sticking my fingers down his throat over and over. They’re barely getting coated in saliva because his mouth is so dry. I don’t know if he’s like this because of drugs, or alcohol, or both. I don’t know what he did last night. I was out, I should have been with him. I press my fingers in until he makes a groaning sound and starts to gag.
I keep them in there.
Over and over I press until he finally vomits. I move my hand just in time as he spills his stomach all over the bed. He does this, gagging and retching, until there is nothing left. Then he flops to his back, breathing rapid, face way too pale. I pull out my phone and dial an ambulance. He needs medical attention. And he needs it now. I give the lady on the phone the address then I hang up.
“What’s going on?”
I twist to see his roommate, Ashton, standing by the door, coffee in one hand, toast in the other, looking completely unaware. His eyes go to the vomit on Braxton’s bed, and his face screws up. “Yuck.”
“You didn’t fuckin’ think to check him?” I bark at the young, stupid man.
He jerks his head back and looks at me. “He’s a grown man. I’m not going to come into his room to check him every day. Didn’t even know he was home.”
“You know he has a fuckin’ problem!” I roar, fists clenching, face burning.
“Calm down, Koda. He’s a grown fucking man. It isn’t my job to fucking take care of him.”
“He could have died in here. If I didn’t come over, he’d be dead. Is that what you want? All because you can’t check?”
Ashton shakes his head. “Your brother has a problem. That problem ain’t mine. I’ve tried to fucking look out for him. He don’t want nothing to do with it. He’s out there, drinking, doing drugs, and fucking with the wrong people. If that doesn’t kill him—” he jerks a finger at the vomit “—then I guarantee someone else will with the shit he’s been getting into.”
I narrow my eyes. “What s
hit?”
Ashton shrugs. “Don’t know.”
“Bullshit, you just said it’ll get him killed so you know fuckin’ somethin’. What shit?”
Ashton’s eyes dart to the left, then to the right, then settle back on mine. “He’s been dealing. Working for dangerous people. You can’t be a junkie and deal drugs. You’re going to get yourself into serious trouble. We all know this. If you have an addiction, you’re going to mess up. He has an addiction. And he’s messing up. Taking the drugs for himself, dodging people, pissing off the wrong men.”
“Names,” I demand. “Give me names.”
“Don’t know names,” he says, backing out of the room a little. “And I’m not about to find out. I’m moving out this week. Not living where it’s dangerous. Your brother needs to help himself. I got shit to do, a life to live, I ain’t getting involved in whatever he’s sunk himself into.”
I glare at him.
But at the same time, I understand.
He’s young, he’s working, he doesn’t need to get involved in shit that doesn’t concern him.
“Fair enough,” I mutter, running my hand through my hair then down over my face, exhaling loudly. “Is that all you can tell me?”
“That’s all I can tell you, man. And I only know that because I’ve overheard him talking and heard rumors around. Want to know anything else, you’re going to have to ask him. Not sure he’s going to tell you anything, though.”
I glance down at my brother, pale and panting on the bed, still out of it, eyes closed, but twitching occasionally. He’s in a bad way. But it isn’t just about him anymore, it’s about whatever shit that he’s gotten himself involved in.
Which means it’s now about me, too.
Fuck.
-3-
NOW – CHARLIE
Awkward doesn’t even being to cut it.
I don’t know what to do. Where to go. If I should speak to him, or not speak to him. I could lock myself in the room and hide until night falls, but I hate being stuck inside. That means interacting with him, and I don’t particularly want to do that. I glance outside and then decide I’ll go for a walk, explore a little, get some fresh air and space.
I go to my bag and pull out a pair of shoes, then I yank them on and walk out onto the front porch where Koda is already sitting, phone and laptop by his side, beer in his hand, staring out at the trees. He looks lost in thought, his jaw tight, his eyes vacant. Whatever he’s thinking about, it has taken him somewhere else, somewhere dark. The look on his face is that of pain, anger, and pure bitterness.
I know.
I’ve seen that look on my own face before.
I don’t know if I should disturb him, so I just walk toward the steps. His voice stops me before I can even put my foot down.
“Where you goin’?”
I turn and glance at him. His eyes are focused on me now, face still hard and expressionless. It’s such a shame to see such a gorgeous face so broken and empty. So hard. I know, I just know if he smiled, he’d make the world come to a screeching halt.
“I was just going to explore a little, get some fresh air.”
He blinks, just once. “Any idea what’s out there?”
I stare out at the thick trees and rocks surrounding us and then look back to him. “Ah, that would be nature. Fresh air.”
“Also dangerous animals, slippery slopes …”
I cross my arms. “And that’s supposed to bother me?”
“Don’t be a fuckin’ hero. Came here to protect you, not have you eaten by a fuckin’ wild animal on your first day.”
“Again, I’m unbothered. I just want some fresh air, hell, some space. I haven’t even been here a day with you, and I’m already restless.”
“Then I’m comin’ with you.”
He stands, and my mouth drops open to protest.
“Don’t fuckin’ bother arguin’. I have a job. I’m about as happy about it as you are, but we’re stuck here, which means where you go, I go. Can’t risk anythin’ happenin’ to you. I don’t fuckin’ fail my duties.”
Jesus.
Intense much.
“Fine, but don’t talk to me.”
He grunts and follows me down the front steps and off to a path that goes into the trees to the left of us. We came in from the other way, so I’m curious to see where this leads. Maybe a stream? That would be nice. Somewhere to swim. Up here, in the mountains, there are streams everywhere. It’s beautiful. Breathtaking scenery.
I go to ask Koda about it, considering the club owns this land, so he probably knows where this leads, but I did just ask him not to speak with me, so I keep my mouth shut and walk. I can hear his boots crunching behind me, and I’m suddenly very aware of him. I rub my arms consciously and keep moving. I wonder what I look like from behind? God, I hope I don’t look awful, because right now, he’s just watching me as I walk.
Awkward.
I move farther down the path, and the trees slowly start getting lusher and thicker, the rocks bolder and bigger, and I can’t mistake the sound of trickling water. A stream! Excitement bubbles in my chest. As a child, I loved to explore, but after my mother was killed, my entire childhood was taken from me. I miss the days of feeling free, of being able to adventure off and not have a care in the world.
No fear.
Just me.
I stop when the trail narrows down to a beautiful, crystal-clear river. It’s flowing, trickling over rocks, the sun making it sparkle in areas. My heart expands, and my body relaxes, just for a second. It’s still quite cold up here, especially at night, so I know the water is going to be freezing, but I don’t really care. I rush down, stopping at the edge of the stream and then launching my body into it without warning.
The cold water hits me hard, making me gasp. My whole body feels like it’s been sparked to life, and I close my eyes, diving back under, over and over, even though it’s so cold my teeth are chattering. It’s like being breathed a new life. It feels incredible. I surface, running my fingers through my hair and glancing over at Koda, who is perched on a rock, staring at me with a strange expression on his face. I swim over, climbing out of the water and finding a sunny spot.
“You’re goin’ to freeze in about five minutes, you know that, don’t you?” he says, his voice gruff.
“It’s the little things in life, Koda, that make people feel good. With good always comes bad. I’ll take the bad, in this case. Because that made me feel so damned good.”
He studies me, only for a moment, then shrugs his leather jacket off and tosses it at me. I catch it and immediately smell him on it. Mixed with the leather, it’s a unique, intoxicating smell. I stare at him. “It’ll get all wet inside. Aren’t these jackets sacred or some such thing?”
He snorts. “It’ll dry. Been through worse. Put it on so you don’t fuckin’ die.”
I run my fingers over the leather. It’s worn, well loved, and it holds so many stories. I wonder why Koda ever joined the club to begin with. Why does anyone join a club? Is it for protection? Or is it just because they have nobody left in the world, and these men are like family to them?
I rub my finger over the Vice President patch.
Koda is a big deal in the club.
No doubt.
Then I pull the jacket over my shoulders and pull it on. It swims on me, but it’s warm and smells amazing. I glance at Koda, whose big arms are now on full display, bulging out from his tight, black tee. God, he’s so fucking beautiful it hurts to stare at him. It makes everything inside me want to pounce, to just taste him once.
Normal feminine reactions, I’m sure.
“Thanks,” I murmur.
He nods, staring out at the water for a bit, then, finally, he says, “Goin’ to need you to talk eventually, Charlie. Can’t stay up here forever. We have to find who is after you and end them, or you’ll spend your life runnin’.”
I flinch and look away, my jaw tightening.
He has no idea the depth of what
he’s getting into. The dark world he’s about to walk into with his club by his side. My father, who only located me because of Treyton, is a dangerous and very deadly man.
And he runs a big operation.
As much as I hope, I don’t know that the club will be able to end it.
“I’m not so sure that’ll matter, honestly, I’m not sure you can do anything for me.”
“Why?”
It’s a demand—a gruff demand.
“Because he’s dangerous, and his operation is big, and I’m just not sure anything can be done about it.”
“It ain’t about manpower, Charlie. It’s about how fuckin’ much you want it. It’s about the fire that burns in your belly. It’s about bein’ smart.”
“And you want it, why?” I ask him, staring over finally.
“Because I don’t like to see people killed for things they don’t deserve.”
I swallow. “And how do you know I don’t deserve it?”
“Do you?” he asks directly. “Do you deserve to be killed?”
I think on that for a moment. I mean, I’ve done things wrong because of my father, so many things, but it was only because I didn’t have a choice. When I did have a choice, I took him down. And because of that, he’s going to make me pay. He’s going to try and ruin my life in the most painful way he can.
“No,” I finally answer. “I’ve done some bad things, but no, I don’t deserve to die for them. My hit is vengeance, and vengeance alone.”
“Then tell me who is after you.”
I stare at him. I’m not sure I want to do that. I trust the club, I do, but when I open this door and let all my demons out, they might change their mind. God knows I would. When they realize what they’re truly about to walk into, they’ll hit the ground running.
Of that I’m sure.
Nobody wants to die, after all.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. Right now, I’m not sure who I trust.”
He glares at me. Pure scorn thrown right in my direction. I don’t glance away; I hold his glare. I won’t back down, not from him, not from anyone. My life, well, it’s mine for right now. I know eventually, I’ll need to come up with something, or help them, but right now I don’t think that’s a good idea at all.
