by Bella Jewel
NOW – KODA
She’s fuckin’ gone.
She’s gone, because of me.
I’m a fuckin’ idiot.
A stupid, fuckin’ idiot.
I check everywhere, through the trees, down the road, but I know that I haven’t been able to catch her in time. I know that she’s gone, probably hitched a ride somewhere, and I don’t know where that fuckin’ is. I’m supposed to be protecting her, and she’s managed to get away, at a time when everything is fuckin’ dangerous. For all of us.
I pull out my phone, aggravated, and call Malakai.
“Koda, what’s goin’ on?”
I take a deep breath, because not only is he going to find out that I’ve been fuckin’ lying to him, but that I have been using Charlie and now she’s gone. I’m a fuckin’ terrible human, but I never meant to hurt anyone. I just wanted to do what Braxton deserved, and I knew if I told anyone, they’d pull me back. But, like everything, lies come out and burn people harder than the truth would, if I had just used it.
“Fucked up, Malakai. In a big way.”
He goes silent for a moment, then murmurs, “What have you done?”
“Charlie…she’s gone.”
“What?” he barks, and I don’t miss the anger and bitter disappointment in his voice.
He trusted me.
To look after her, to do the right thing.
And I fucked everyone over.
“She found out something, about me, and ran.”
“Want to tell me what she fuckin’ found out, so I can find her,” he grinds out.
Malakai has been like a brother to me since he let me join the club all those years ago. I was broken, and fucked up, and had no family left. He opened the doors to the family he’d created, and let me in. And I just fucked him over. I fucked him over because I’ve been lying to him, and he never deserved that. He’s never fuckin’ lied to me. Not once.
I take a frustrated breath and murmur, “She found out that I’ve known all along who she is, and she found out that her father, killed my brother, and that’s the reason I’ve wanted in on this from the beginning. She found out I’ve been lying. To everyone.”
Dead silence.
I’m not going to try and explain myself. There is no way to do that. Malakai can punish me however he sees fit, because he has that right.
They all do.
“What did you say?” he growls, voice low, and deep.
“I didn’t stutter, Malakai. You heard exactly what I said.”
“You mean to tell me, this whole time you knew exactly who Charlie was. You knew and you used her to get revenge for your brother?”
“That’s exactly what I did. Her father took Braxton’s life right in front of me, shot him in the fuckin’ head, and then left me in a locked room with him until he started to rot. You don’t get that shit out of your head, you do not fuckin’ live it down. So yeah, I knew who she was the moment I heard her name, and the moment I saw her face, because she looks a good deal like him. I didn’t tell anyone, because I knew you’d pull me back, and for Braxton, I had to end that motherfucker once and for all.”
“Fuck, Dakoda,” Malakai growls. “You fuckin’ lied to me, you lied to her, and now she’s out there in fuckin’ danger because of it. I feel for you, bro. I would want the same blood, but you should have fuckin’ told me. You owed me that much after everything we’ve been through.”
That hits me right in the gut, because he’s right. I do owe him that. He’s never let me down, and I just let him down in the biggest way possible.
“She’s gone, hopin’ she would come there,” I say, changing the subject, because right now finding Charlie is on the top of the list. “But she ain’t there, obviously.”
“No, she ain’t here. Fuck me, Koda. She could be anywhere. She’s unprotected. And unsafe. Fuck!”
“I’ll come there. Call Slater, if Shanks has her, he’ll know about it. We need to get her back, Malakai. Because that motherfucker won’t hesitate in killing her.”
Malakai makes a disappointed sound in his throat. “Fuckin’ let down by you, Koda. But I’ll deal with that later, right now, we need to get Charlie back.”
I hang up the phone without another word.
Because what else is there to say?
I let the fuckin’ girl down, but mostly, I let my club down.
And now she could very likely fuckin’ die.
Because of me.
And my stupid fuckin’ mistakes.
~*~*~*~
NOW – KODA
“Can’t get hold of Slater,” Malakai barks, pacing the room. “This is fuckin’ bad, fuck!”
His fists are clenched, and he’s pissed off. In a big way.
So is everyone else, judging by the filthy expressions I’ve gotten since they found out what I did.
They can take it out on me later, right now, I need to find Charlie and I need to do it quickly.
Scarlett and Amalie come through the front doors, panting and red. “We looked in all the places near the club that she might have gone. She isn’t there. I checked the ranch again, no one. Mason has gone up to the other cabin, he called five minutes ago and said she isn’t there, either. Which means he has her…he has her, all because of you!”
Scarlett’s angry finger jerks in my direction, and I glare at her. “Back off, Scarlett.”
“How could you, Dakoda? How could you do that to her? She trusted you, and you know, that she hasn’t been able to trust many people in her life. You shattered that, on the one person who needed your trust the most.”
Fuck me.
That hurts.
It hits me right in the heart, because I know she’s right.
Fuck.
I look away, panting.
“Enough,” Maverick orders, and I face the group again, trying to keep my shit together.
“So, she isn’t anywhere to be found. She might be smart, hiding out because she knows she’s unprotected. Chances of Shanks having her, is slim to none,” Boston adds, calm and sturdy.
He has no emotion towards this, so he’s the best man to keep his head in this situation.
“Boston is right,” Malakai adds. “Unlikely Shanks has her, she’s probably just somewhere cooling off.”
But I know they’re wrong.
I can feel it in my gut.
She’s in trouble.
The club door opens and Slater strides in, surprising us all. He walks straight over to Malakai, his eyes hard, his body stiff. He doesn’t say much, but he’s a broken motherfucker. Scary as hell.
“Got a problem,” he mutters. “Done what you needed, set it up so it looks like Shanks is tryin’ to fuck over the Mafia. Problem is, deal is goin’ down sooner than I thought. Shit has already fired up, which means this is goin’ to happen quickly. It ain’t safe here. For anyone.”
Malakai looks to Slater, and his jaw tics. “Charlie is gone.”
Slater’s eyes flare, and he growls, “What?”
“Fuckin’ don’t know where she is, but she’s gone. Any chance he’s got her?”
“You’d fuckin’ hope not,” Slater growls. “Because a war is about to fuckin’ unleash on Shanks, a blood bath is about to take place. If she’s with him, she’s in big fuckin’ trouble. And not just because he will play out his revenge, but because she’ll get caught up in somethin’ very fuckin’ dangerous.”
“Fuck,” I bellow, slamming my fist into a nearby table. “Fuck me. Can you find out if she’s there?”
Slater looks to me, and nods sharply. “Yeah, can find out. Goin’ back there now. If she’s there, I’ll try to get her out. But it could be too late. Shanks already has word that the Mafia ain’t fuckin’ happy. Took a lot of fuckin’ work for me to pull off what you asked, but I did and I had an entire fuckin’ shipment stolen from the Mafia when I found out where it was comin’ in. Told the boys it was Shanks’ request, and they got in early and stole the fuckin’ lot. Made sure Mafia had word it was Shanks. He killed the boys I us
ed without question, when he found out, so I’m fuckin’ lucky, or I’d be dead right now. If he’d have asked who gave them those orders, you’d all be fucked, and so would I. Was a big fuckin’ risk, but it’s done and things are about to get fuckin’ ugly.”
That’s the most I’ve ever heard Slater say.
But he’s right.
We’re in big fuckin’ trouble.
We’ll have no time to get Charlie out, if she’s with Shanks.
She could fuckin’ die there, and maybe not at the hands of her father.
“Go,” I order. “If she’s there, find a way to get her out. Tell me where to hide, and I’ll be fuckin’ waitin’ to get her to safety.”
“You’re not fuckin’ goin’ in,” Malakai barks.
I walk over, getting in his face. “If she’s in there, then you’re damn fuckin’ sure I’m goin’ in. You want to punish me, punish me by lettin’ me put my life at risk. She’s in there, because of me. I’ll be the one makin’ sure she gets out. I fucked up. I’ll fix it. Try and stop me, Malakai. I fuckin’ dare you.”
Malakai’s jaw goes hard, and he glares at me like he wants to tear my fuckin’ head off, but he doesn’t argue any further.
“Go, hurry it up, keep in contact. This is fuckin’ bad. Really fuckin’ bad,” he growls.
I nod, and turn to Slater. “Tell me what I need to do.”
Slater glares at me. “She dies, I’ll take you out. I hope you fuckin’ know that.”
Yeah.
I know that.
And he won’t be the only one.
-23-
NOW – CHARLIE
“Hello, sweetheart.”
The amount of times I wished my father called me that, and meant it, are countless. Hearing the words from him now, as I’m stood before him, make me want to gag. They’re said with pure hatred, red hot and real. I hold his eyes, because damned if I’m going to bow in front of him. I’m not the scared little girl I was many years ago. Not now. I’m stronger, and he won’t win.
Even if he tortures me.
Or kills me.
He will not see me crumble.
“Hello, daddy,” I smile coldly.
The years in prison have aged Benjamin ‘Shanks’ Masters, but he still holds that edge of power. His body is still large, and strong, and even though his hair is now greying, and there are wrinkles where there was once flawless skin, he’s still the same man he was before. Cold, ruthless, with eyes so empty they make you want to shrink into yourself.
But there will be no shrinking.
Not from me.
Not for him.
“The years have been kind to you, Charlene,” he says, scanning me. “You look just like me.”
What a fucking insult.
“Well, aren’t I just lucky then?”
His eyes narrow, and he steps forward, grabbing my chin in his hands. “You might be older now, but you will not disrespect me.”
“Or what?” I snap, jerking my head from his grips. “You’ll torture me? Kill me? Kill everyone I love? Fucking go for it, oh daddy dearest. I have no one I love. And I couldn’t care less if you take my life.”
His eyes flash, and then he lets out a booming laugh.
I hated that laugh as a child.
I hate it more, now.
“Oh, Charlene, how stupid you are. You can run your mouth, but it doesn’t make you any less pathetic then you were as a little girl. Pathetic, and weak, and I’m going to make you wish you were never born.”
“Oh, but you’ve already done that. I wish that every day, and yet here I am, still here, still stuck with the horror of being your blood. So, go your hardest. Do what you need to. I’m not here to bow down to you anymore.”
He grabs my chin, just like he used to, only this time he does it hard. So hard I can’t pull away, though you can guarantee I try. I scowl at him, trying to hide the wince because of the pain radiating through my face. “Be very fucking careful. I spent ten years in prison, because of your mistake, little girl. You can rest assured, I’m going to make you pay for that, in the worst ways possible.”
He looks past me, at the five other men in the room, and smiles. “You think I can’t break you? But my dear, I can. All these men, they’ve been without a woman for a good long while. I wonder how they’ll enjoy taking turns of this plump little body of yours?”
Fear radiates through my chest.
He’s hitting me right where he knows it will hurt.
Of course I under estimated him, that was always my mistake.
He was always one step ahead. Torture, killing, of course he wasn’t going to use those.
He knows what happened to me as a child, which means he knows exactly how to hit my weakest parts.
But, I will never, ever show him fear again.
I hold his eyes and murmurs, “Sounds wonderful.”
For a moment, his eyes flash with confusion. It’s brief, but it’s there. The satisfaction I get, from seeing that, makes courage expand in my chest. He’s not going to wear me down. I’m stronger than anything he can dish out. Even if inside, my body is screaming at me to run away, and fear is clawing at my heart, trying to get in.
He won’t see that.
“Very well, let us see how long it takes you to drop this little act, and beg for mercy. I don’t imagine it’ll be long.”
He lets me go and raises a hand, clicking his fingers. “Take her to the basement, do whatever you want to her, I’ll be down shortly.”
The two men holding me hand me over to three others, who all have filthy grins on their faces.
“But first,” Shanks says. “Before you have fun with her. Make her suffer. Make her burn. Make her hurt. Do as much damage on the outside as you can, then you can enjoy the inside.”
I grit my teeth, and my skin prickles, because I know that whatever I’m about to face, it’s not going to be nice.
No.
It’s going to be awful, and horrible, and the worst thing I’ve ever endured in my life.
The monster is finally going to dig his teeth in.
And tear my soul out once and for all.
~*~*~*~
NOW – CHARLIE
There’s pain.
And then there’s agony.
Pain, you can deal with. You can grit your teeth and handle it. You can take something to ease it. You can find a way around it.
Agony isn’t the same. Agony is brutal, and bone deep, and no matter what you do you can’t escape. It wraps its claws around you, and makes it hurt even more, especially if you struggle.
That’s what I feel right now.
Agony.
Pure agony.
I stopped screaming half an hour ago, when they dropped me to the floor, broken and bloodied. When my father stood by, delivering one last kick to my no doubt broken ribs, and promised they’d be back soon to finish me off. He is actually going to let them have sex with me, before he kills me.
The sick bastard.
As if beating me until I’m nearly dead isn’t enough.
And that’s how I feel right now, bordering death. Walking on the edge. Ready to jump in.
I’ve been punched, kicked, thrown, smashed against walls, had my hair ripped so hard my skull burns, and anything else horrible they could manage to do without weapons. My father promised a grand ending, though. Fingers and toes removed, fucked until I’m dead in the mind, and then he’ll kill me.
The sick fucking monster.
I roll to my side and spit out the blood filling my mouth.
I don’t think I can move, I honestly don’t.
I don’t know how long I’ve been laying here, it feels like they only just left but I know they didn’t. It’s been a few hours. They’ll be back soon, to finish the job. And there is little I can do about it.
I can’t fight anymore.
I fought before, though. I fought and clawed and kicked and punched. It was useless, and it only made them angrier, but I wasn’t going down with
out a fight.
Not me.
Not Charlie.
The door opens, and I can’t even lift my head to see who it is, I want to, but I can’t.
I can’t feel anything anymore.
“Well, not so mouthy now, are you?”
It’s one of his men. I don’t know which one. I don’t care.
“Your father sent us in here, to have our fun before he ends you. Which one of you boys wants to go first?”
No.
God.
No.
Not while I can’t even fight.
I’d rather die the most painful death, then to have someone violate me when I can’t do anything to stop it.
A hand goes to my pants, and starts tugging them down. Another fondles my broken breast. I try to slap them away, but my body won’t move, no matter how hard I beg it to.
“Sweet little body, should have fucked her before he made her look like this.”
“I don’t know, I like a bit of blood. I’ll like it even more if she screams while I fuck her.”
God.
Please help me.
“Out.”
The words come from a familiar voice, and for a second, I try to figure out who it belongs to.
“Shanks sent us in here to…”
“He just told me it’s my turn first, now get the fuck out before I tell him you’re arguing with me.”
The hands that were groping my body leave it, and I hear a few muttered curse words before the door slams. I roll to my side and look over, and through my hazy vision I see Slater. And my heart swells.
Slater.
I forgot about Slater.
He comes and kneels down by my side, lifting my head into his hands. “Fuck. Charlie.”
“Slater,” I croak.
“Goin’ to get you out of here, but you have to do everything I say, ok? Got Koda waiting, we’ll get you safe, and to a hospital.”
Koda?
He’s waiting?
Pain curls in my heart, but I push it back.
I have to get out of here.
So for now, I have to focus.
-24-
NOW – CHARLIE
“You have to scream, Charlie, like I’m in here hurting you. If you don’t, he’ll get suspicious,” Slater tells me, pulling me to my feet.
