She scowled at him. This wasn't just about Kazue. Hisato could take her over at any time too. What if for all her effort she still failed and Hisato used their connection to hurt people? For some reason she felt compelled to look at Ryuu. He was standing at the edge of the circle, arms crossed over his chest. He gave a single nod and she turned away from him. She didn't need his approval.
"I'm ok," Hikaru said from behind her. "We won't let you hurt us."
I have to learn, or someone else is going to get hurt. Like Kaito. She mentally shook herself and turned back to face the others. "One more time."
They squared off once more. The fire came quick to her hand but Suzume hesitated to throw it at him this time. They continued to circle. When she wouldn't attack, Hikaru took the initiative and came toward her. In a panic she flung a fireball toward his face. He dodged and rolled, coming up and they circled once more.
"Don't hold back," the old man shouted.
There was a drumming in her ears, a pain that she couldn't quite part from. Kazue was so close to the surface. She had to do this, to learn how to control her power. She flinched and then lunged into her attack, flinging balls of flame at Hikaru. He dodged her attack and used his vines to shield himself.
"Embrace your power," the old man shouted at Hikaru.
Then the old man started to sing, and with the combination of his and Hikaru’s power and the close proximity, it was almost overwhelming. Suzume felt it tingle against her skin and she was so distracted she didn't see Hikaru's vine shooting toward her. It slammed into her leg and sent her flying backward. The combination of his strike and the power that floated around her, unlocked something within her and she came up swinging. She flung her fireball at Hikaru, and this time she didn't bother to try and avoid him. She was out for blood. Her limbs moved without her command and she lunged for Hikaru.
The next thing she remembered she was lying on her back staring up at the sky. The old man was squatting above her, shaking his head.
"You gave into her, again."
Suzume sat up and scowled at him. "I told you that's what happens."
The old man shook his head again. "You've given her too much power."
"I didn't give it to her. It was hers to start with."
He flicked her across the forehead with thumb and forefinger. "And that's your problem. You control the power, not a woman five hundred years dead. Do it again."
And so they sparred again and again and again. Each time she blacked out only to be revived by the old man, standing over her shaking his head as she was the greatest fool who ever lived.
"I think that's enough for today," the old man said after what felt like her hundredth failure.
Suzume snatched up her staff and headed for the exit. She'd been an idiot to think there was some solution to losing herself to Kazue. They'd trained all day and it hadn't made any difference at all.
As she marched away, Hikaru chased after her. "Wait for me!" he said.
She pretended like she hadn't heard him. She kept on walking, but as she approached the temple gates she saw a group of priests talking together. Because she didn't want rumors of her temper to get spread around, she made a quick turn and went toward the temple garden. There was a bench beneath a large gingko tree. She sat down and turned away from the path where Hikaru was still following her. She crossed her arms over her chest.
He stood nearby. "I know you're frustrated, but this won't happen overnight."
"I don't have time to waste," Suzume growled.
Hikaru was silent for a few minutes. He knew her fears, but could he really understand them? He'd lost his memories but he'd gotten them back. She wasn't even sure who she was anymore. And besides that Hisato could take control of her at any moment.
"I've been looking into the records, like you asked." Suzume turned to face him, desperate for a change of subject. She hadn't had a chance to talk to him about it before now. And she still hoped finding out who brought Hikaru to the temple would lead to answers as to who had put Kazue's soul inside him. And by extension, Suzume.
"Oh." There were still secrets he was keeping. But she was keeping her own.
"Ryuu’s the one who has the key to the records we need."
"Don't worry about it," Hikaru said. He picked up a fallen gingko leaf and twirled it between his fingers.
"What do you mean, don't worry about it? We're trying to find out why we're like this!"
"Ryuu doesn't have anything to do with it. I'm certain."
"How can you be? Is there something you're not telling me?" Suzume tilted her head, trying to catch Hikaru's eye but he turned away from her.
He rubbed the back of his neck. "He asked me to not tell you."
"You've talked to him?" She couldn't keep the accusation from her voice. What else was he keeping from her?
He turned to face her and seemed on the verge of telling her more when Ryuu walked into the garden.
"It's time to go back to the palace," he said. His gaze flickered to Hikaru for a moment.
"Are you two keeping secrets?" Suzume asked, looking between the two of them.
Hikaru laughed, but it was high and forced. He might as well have had a sign on his forehead that read, 'I'm lying.’
"Now is not the place," Ryuu said.
"You keep telling me to trust you, but how can I trust you when all you do is lie?"
"Just wait a while longer." Hikaru held up his hands in a placating gesture.
She scowled at the both of them. "Whose side are you on?"
Hikaru wouldn't meet her gaze. It was all the confirmation she needed. She got up and marched up to Ryuu. "I'm going to find out the truth, and when I do..."
"You'll what?"
Suzume scrunched up her face. "You'll see."
28
It had been a week of training with the old man and she'd made little improvement. Each night Suzume stumbled back into her chamber, full of bone-deep fatigue, and she would collapse on her bed and sleep until morning. Then she'd have to start all over again. Hikaru was making great progress. It was harder and harder for her to pull energy from him. But Kazue seemed determined to take control of Suzume's body at the slightest provocation. She didn't have the energy to worry about Ryuu or wonder what he had to do with Kazue's soul being inside her. Maybe that was his plan all along, keep her preoccupied.
After another particularly brutal training session, Suzume was heading back to her chamber, with Ryuu shadowing her as he always did. She was sweaty and probably smelled like fermented vegetables. She did not even bother to go the long way to avoid being seen, as she had been up until now. Before she didn't want anyone to see her in her training clothes, and see her in such a disarray, but fatigue won out to vanity.
Half delirious with fatigue, she did not see the empress and her entourage coming her direction until they were upon her. Suzume, too tired from her sparring, did not even bother bowing her head at the empress as was expected and she kept on stumbling past them, almost knocking into the empress herself.
"What do you think you're doing?" the empress said, scandalized.
Suzume came to a shuffling stop and turned around to face the empress. She squinted as the empress swam in and out of focus.
"Oh," she said and bowed her head before stumbling forward again.
The empress’s usual entourage surrounded her and as Suzume tried to make her way through them, they buzzed about like a hive of angry bees.
"Show the empress some respect," said one of her ladies.
Suzume turned once again, blinked but couldn't quite put them into focus. "Is there something you need from me?" she asked, not caring if she came across as crass.
"Your outfit," the empress said as she turned her nose up at it. She covered her face with her fan, perhaps to shield herself from the smell of sweat. "It is not appropriate for a lady of your station."
"I'll go change then." Suzume stumbled a few steps.
"I have not excused you." There was a fr
antic note in the empress’s tone. No one had ever openly defied her before. Under normal circumstances, Suzume wouldn't have. The empress could be vicious when she wanted to. And given the history between her mother and her, she imagined she'd use the opportunity to make Suzume miserable. But as tired as she was, Suzume wasn't thinking about any of that. She turned toward the empress and spread out her hands in a gesture of 'what else do you want.’
The ladies who surrounded the empress shared looks, clearly not sure how to react to Suzume's impertinence. "Your majesty must have so much free time," Suzume said without thinking. There was no filter left between her thoughts and her mouth.
Behind her Ryuu coughed, and Suzume glanced over her shoulder at him, remembering he was there. She scowled at him. Why did he have to follow her around? She never got a moment to breathe.
"What was that?" the empress said through gritted teeth. Suzume could practically hear her teeth grinding together.
Ryuu came to her rescue. "Your lady is generous to take an interest in Princess Suzume, who lacks common sense and manners."
"Hey!" Suzume attempted a swing at Ryuu but he caught her quickly and forced her into a deep bow before the empress.
"You are fortunate the emperor has placed Ryuu to watch over you, otherwise I'd have to teach you a lesson." And then with a quick cough she said, "We are having a gathering this evening, I would be pleased if you were there." The last portion was spoken as if it physically pained her to extend such an invitation.
Even as sleep deprived as Suzume was, it was clear the emperor had forced her to extend the invitation to Suzume.
"I will have to see if I have time in my schedule." Suzume bowed her head again and scooted out of Ryuu's reach before he could force her into an even more humiliating position. She had no real interest in going whatsoever and would avoid it as best she could.
"The emperor wished I remind you, that as your mother is absent from court, it is important you attend," the empress said.
Now she had her attention. There was a smirk on her lips. It wasn't an invitation but a command.
"I will attend if it pleases you," Suzume said to the ground. Though she had to grit the words out.
The empress only laughed. "I see your tune has changed. How like Izume you are. You even have Ryuu following you around like a lost dog."
Suzume looked up on impulse and by the devious smile on her face, the empress knew she'd caught Suzume in her web. She glanced at Ryuu, but his expression gave nothing away.
"You served my mother?" she asked Ryuu.
He stared forward without answer.
It was the empress who replied, "I thought you knew." Her ladies all twittered as she smiled. Suzume only glared at her, not hiding her anger. "Come tonight, and I will tell you."
Suzume was dismissed, and she went back to her rooms. She didn't bother trying to pull the information from Ryuu. He wouldn't tell her. Tsuki was lying on her bed when she entered, while Noaki stood guard. She thought about kicking Tsuki off her futon, but no matter how tired her body was, the empress’s taunts had piqued her curiosity and she wouldn't be able to rest. Her maid, that is, Rin, who was pretending to be her maid, prepared a bath for her, and she soaked in the hot water considering everything she'd learned.
By the time she got out of the bath, she hadn't made any progress. But her mind had been made up. When she'd returned from her first mission, the emperor had gifted her with a gorgeous kimono. Rin helped her dress and style her hair. She was rather skilled at it. She hadn't told them about Ryuu and her mother, partly because this was her concern. Half the court knew every last scandalous detail of her family’s lives. And she didn't want them knowing the same.
"Are you sure you don't want us coming with you?" Rin asked as she fastened a pin into Suzume's hair. It was still too short to be fashionable, but the decorative comb she wore sparkled with gems. And the kimono fell in such beautiful ways she knew no one would be able to keep their eyes off her.
"No, it would be too hard to explain so many people around me."
"I'm going to die of boredom here," Tsuki said, lying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.
"You could always investigate Ryuu for me," she said, mostly teasing. With Ryuu's spiritual sensitivity, he'd sense them before they got any answers.
"No!" Rin said, a little too hastily.
Suzume met her gaze, waiting for her to elaborate. Rin pretended to need to fix the fold of Suzume's kimono. "We don't want to get in trouble. It's better if we keep a low profile," she said. Suzume glared at her. So she was in on whatever secret Hikaru was hiding as well.
The party was being held in the garden. It would likely be the last of the season as the winter winds were already settling on the palace. Suzume wore a cloak over her kimono. In the garden many braziers had been lit to keep the space warmer and candles were set to float in the garden pool. The party was focused around the covered pagodas that surrounded the pools. She was one of the last ones to arrive and as she got closer she heard the music and laughter that floated out toward her.
In the second largest pagoda, the empress held court, sitting at the head of her circle of onlookers. Suzume searched for Ryuu. He hadn't come to escort her to the party. Perhaps he felt there was no real risk of her being attacked here. And there wouldn't be when he's the one who sent his yokai after me. As she scanned the garden, he was nowhere to be seen. A large pagoda housed the emperor and his court, but when Suzume glanced inside it, she did not see him there either. Not that it mattered. It would be a more pleasant evening if she didn't see him at all. But then, unfortunately, she saw him across the courtyard talking with a few courtiers. His back was to her but as she approached, he turned to her.
His gaze slid up and down her, and she felt a blush rush to her cheeks. It was silly, of course. It wasn't as if she were attracted to him. But it had been a long time since a man had given her any attention. But his glance was brief and he soon turned back to his companions as if he hadn't seen her at all. How dare he! Suzume, not one to be ignored, tried to march over to him but when she got close, he disappeared around a corner. Suzume went to give chase, but as she did, a servant stepped into her path. She was about to tell him to get out of her way when he spoke.
"The empress wishes to dine with you," he said.
She looked back toward the empress who was waiting for her, perhaps to turn down the invitation. She'd only come here because she'd been ordered to do so. But the temptation of learning Ryuu's relationship with her mother was too much. She followed the servant into the empress’s pagoda.
She entered the crowded space, head held high. Whispers stopped as she entered as if they'd all been talking about her moments before. A space was set aside beside the empress. Normally this would have been an honor but Suzume could sense the trap for what it was.
"Welcome, Princess Suzume." The empress greeted her with a smile that did not reach her eyes. A musician sat in the corner, plucking the strings of his instrument as the two of them sized one another up.
Suzume went to sit down beside the empress. Food was served and everything was going as it would be expected. Whatever trap the empress planned to spring, it would be drawn out, likely to cause Suzume the most pain.
A courtier whom she had at times flirted with before she'd been exiled stood up.
"I would read a poem I wrote for the empress," he said.
She nodded her head for him to read it. Suzume was only listening with half an ear. It was the typical sort of thing, talking about the weather and the flowers, changing of seasons. It was nothing she hadn't heard before. Everything was allegory for the beauty of the empress. Suzume had similar poems written about her. And then the poem took a turn.
"Her rival’s vile plans..." he said. The accompanying music turned more sinister. And Suzume turned her attention to the poet.
As he spun out the poem in flowery words, it was clear who he was speaking about. It was about her mother, and more than that, it painted
her mother as an adulterer, who'd stolen the emperor's heart only to betray him with someone close to him, while his faithful first wife was left to pick up all the pieces. So this had been her plan all along, to shame Suzume. Well, it wasn't going to be enough to stop her. She'd heard the rumors enough to have grown hardened to it.
"It was quite beautiful," the empress said once he had finished.
Suzume stood up. "I have my own poem."
The empress narrowed her eyes but she didn't tell Suzume no. And so Suzume gave her reply in her own poem. It wasn't very long, just a few carefully chosen words that were not polite to repeat. When Suzume was finished she bowed to them, before storming out of the empress’s pagoda.
She'd tired of the palace games. She should just corner Ryuu and demand answers. But as she went to go and search for him, another servant stopped in front of her.
"My lady," he said. This wasn't the empress’s man, but the emperor’s. "The emperor wishes to speak with you."
I'm rather popular tonight. The emperor must have heard the uproar from the empress’s pagoda and had likely made the connection for the cause. She shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't anything that hadn't already been said about her mother. But it bothered her more than before. Everyone seemed to know more about Izume than her.
The emperor's pagoda was cleared of all hangers-on when she entered, all except for Ryuu who was standing at the emperor's right hand. Suzume bowed low to the emperor. "You asked for me, your majesty?"
The emperor said, "Rise, child."
Suzume did. She didn't want to face him after the embarrassment of the empress’s trick.
"There is a lot of commotion coming from the empress’s pagoda,” he said, looking across the twinkling garden where the empress was wailing dramatically. Suzume did not back down.
"She insulted my mother, your majesty." She bowed her head in apology. But she wouldn't make the words leave her lips.
The emperor chuckled. "You are as full of fire as always." His eyes sparkled in the light from the brazier.
The Song of the Wind Page 20
