"You can sit up, but no leaving your bed."
"But I feel fine." Suzume lifted her arm to show her full range of motion had returned.
The old man looked away again. "Do not lift your arms above your head. You could do further damage."
Suzume lowered her arm to the bed once more. So this wasn't normal, but the healer wouldn't admit it. He gathered up his things in a hurry after that and scurried out of her room.
After the healer left, Akira came and sat down on the bed beside Suzume while she inspected her fingers which flexed with ease. In just a couple days she'd gone from the worst pain imaginable to the faintest twinge when she flexed.
"You're healing has been quick," Akira commented.
"I guess so." She kept her tone light and indifferent while on the inside panic had started to grip her.
Akira shook her head. "It isn't normal for a human to heal this quickly."
When Suzume didn't respond, Akira said, "You never healed this fast before. Has something changed?"
Suzume swallowed past a lump in her throat. She knew what had changed. Her body wasn't her own. Hisato needed her whole to kill Kaito. And perhaps she was slowly turning into that monster she had seen in the guardian's palace. Suzume shook her head. She wanted desperately to tell her the truth, but Hisato's spell was too strong. Instead lies poured out of her. "Nothing has changed, I've always healed quickly."
Akira stared at her for a moment, but didn't press her. How many more lies would she have to tell her friends? She had to find a way to escape Hisato's control.
It took several days of arguing with the healer before he would let her out of bed. By the time he had agreed, there was barely a sign she had been injured at all. Her victory was only half—the healer forbade her from leaving her chamber and she was forced to stalk around her bedroom while she puzzled through how to stop Hisato. It finally came down to asking the old man for help.
She couldn't ask Souta outright to help her, but she hoped if she wrote it down it might work as a sort of loophole. She requested a brush and parchment from a maid, and set out to write what was happening to her. But try as she might, Suzume couldn't get her arm to cooperate. All that resulted from her work was smeared streaks on parchment. Frustrated at her lack of control, she crumpled up the paper into a ball and flung it at the nearby wall.
"Did I come at a bad time?" Souta, the old man, asked. She hadn't even heard him enter.
"It's fine," she said through ground teeth. She was anything but fine. She knew that the time was coming closer. Any moment Hisato could take her body and use her to go and finish what she'd started.
"I heard you've been recovering well."
Suzume placed her hand on the shoulder which she had thrown the paper with. It was the same one she'd been stabbed through. She dropped her hand to her side.
"I'm making progress," she said with a lift of her chin, to stop any further questions.
The old man smiled in a conspiratorial way, before making himself comfortable across from her. Did he know why she was healing so fast? He groaned as he got comfortable and then after a few moments, he said, "I know you've completely healed."
She held his gaze. The truth was right there on the tip of her tongue.
"It means things are progressing faster than we thought."
Her stomach dropped. Was he working for Hisato too? Did he know what he'd ordered her to do? Flames erupted along her skin, sparking against her in response to her fear.
The old man eyed her burning hands and the sparks flying off her hair.
"What can I do, just kill the dragon?"
The old man grinned at her.
"Is this funny? I can't control my own body! He's using me to kill Kaito!"
"You seem to be in control right now."
It occurred to her she had fought against Hisato's command. "But how?"
"Nothing can be the darkness of Kazue's soul but Kazue. Those are the facts. She will not obey his command."
"How did you know?"
"Because he's come to me already. He tried drawing me to his side, but I saw him for what he was and I banished him. But he hasn't given up. I know he'll be back." The old man sighed.
"Tell me how I can stop him." Suzume fell onto her knees, practically begging the old man.
"There is only one way—you must embrace Kazue's power," the old man said.
"But that means I could lose myself to her. You're saying I have to die?" Suzume asked, her voice just barely above a whisper. What was worse, giving herself over to Kazue or Hisato?
"Don't think of it as dying. The person you are now may very well be the same you will be once you come into your power. You were born with the power after all."
Suzume clutched the edge of the table. She didn't like to think about that. What if she lost all her memories the way Hikaru did?
"I can't." She stood up and paced away from him. There had to be another way around it.
"I tried to fight it as well. But in the end, she took me."
"Why are you like this, did you choose it?" She pointed her finger at him.
He lowered his head. "I did choose this. I was dying and fearing death, and I asked Ryuu to save me." His gray eyes seemed ancient and foreign. It wasn't Souta who was stared back at her, but Kazue. "And I chose this life over death. You can make the same choice."
That was her choice. Kaito's life or her own. She didn't want to accept it. "Maybe if I learn how to control my powers?" she asked.
"No amount of control will save you from Hisato. He will never tire of you. Because you have what none of us have."
Suzume rested her hand over her chest. "Kazue's heart."
The fire was sparking all over her and she felt Kazue surrounding her, like a soft breeze. It had been Souta who healed her from Hisato's control. But already she could feel the power fading.
"I cannot protect you from it," Souta said, as the power receded from her. "Everything is in motion already; the emperor has declared war on the yokai."
"Why would he do that?" She got up and tried to run for the door, but her footsteps froze in place. "I have to-" she strangled on the rest of her words. I have to stop him. This was what Hisato wanted, a war between yokai and humans would give him everything he needed to create his monstrous army.
"Ryuu has done what he could to try and dissuade him, but the emperor is decided."
She had to stop them, but she couldn't seem to make her feet obey her.
"Can't you stop him?"
"It's not just the emperor. There have been attacks by yokai. The dragon has to be swayed as well."
What can I possibly do? She felt as if she were being torn in two, caught between two sides in which there was no winner.
43
Suzume stared forward as her maid dressed her, her gaze fixed on nothing in particular. Her mind was racing. She'd tried over and over to speak with the emperor but she'd been blocked at every turn. Because of her outburst in the council, she was not allowed anywhere near council meetings. And at all her attempts to speak with the emperor in private she was turned away. Her last hope was having her mother speak with the emperor on her behalf.
To celebrate her return, Izume was having a party. It wasn't surprising knowing her mother. Suzume was expected to attend, but even as she prepared for the party, her mind was filled with more serious problems. It had been nearly a week since the attack, and she'd been trying to figure out how to summon Kazue to help her fight the compulsion of Hisato's commands. It was slow going. When she needed Kazue the most, she was absent. Suzume's maid finished adding the final layer to her ensemble. Rin, who continued to play the role of her maid, was assisting. She watched Suzume, her gaze boring into her.
They'd hardly spoken since Suzume had attacked Kaito and she knew the kitsune was mad at her. She assumed, like everyone else, that Suzume had taken it upon herself to kill Kaito. Suzume had tried several times to explain herself, but every time she tried Hisato twisted her words. But s
he had a plan. Maybe she couldn't subvert Hisato's order but she could find a way around it.
Rin handed the maid a pin for Suzume's hair and once it was placed, she held up a mirror for Suzume to look at herself. No makeup or fine clothes could hide her fatigue. There were circles under her eyes that could not be disguised, and it seemed she'd aged a hundred years in a short amount of time.
"Leave us," Suzume said to the maid.
The maid bowed in response, backing out of the room, leaving Suzume and Rin alone. The kitsune glared at Suzume. She'd been waiting on this scolding for a while, and until now had been able to avoid it. But if her plan was going to work, she was going to have to face Rin's ire.
"If you have something to say, just say it," Suzume said, assuming the defiant, headstrong role she was known for.
"What are you doing?" Rin asked.
More than anything she wished she could confess the truth to Rin, but there was no getting around it.
"Going to a party." Suzume smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her kimono.
"That's not what I mean and you know it. Why did you attack Kaito? Why are we wasting time here in the palace?"
Suzume's rolled her eyes. "He attacked me first." She headed for the door, but as Suzume expected Rin wasn't done with her. She leaped in front of Suzume before she could leave.
"You banished him. He should never have been able to come near you unless you summoned him."
"Do you have a point? We all know I'm not as strong as him." It hurt her pride to say the words out loud, but if she'd learned anything recently, it was that she was weak. Not only in strength but her character. If she hadn't tried to steal power to get stronger, she wouldn't be in this situation.
"Why are you doing this? It isn't like you." Rin's golden eyes searched Suzume's gaze, trying desperately to find the goodness inside her. It warmed Suzume to know Rin still believed in her, but if her plan was to work she had to push her away.
"The dragon almost killed me, and yet I'm the bad guy?"
"You're not answering the question," Rin pressed.
Suzume laughed, tossing her hair over her head. "You're a fool if you think I cared about Kaito. I've gotten what I wanted. I'm back home where I belong. I only attacked him to eliminate any possibility he'd come back and take it from me."
Rin shook her head, perhaps trying to deny it. But up until recently, all Suzume had wanted was to return to the White Palace, to resume the life she had. Suzume turned away from the kitsune so she wouldn't see her resolve starting to crumble.
"What about Hisato? You have to stop him."
Suzume shrugged. "I don't see how that concerns me."
Rin stared at Suzume in disbelief. "I thought you had changed."
"People never change." She pushed past Rin to leave the room but as she was about to exit, she stopped and turned to meet Rin's gaze. "If you don't like it, why don't you go back to the dragon?"
Rin's eyes widened, perhaps with realization. She hoped she knew what Suzume was trying to say but couldn't.
"Is that really how you feel?" Rin asked.
"I don't need you anymore. But-" the rest of her sentence tangled up in her throat. Kaito needs you, go warn him. As it was, she was playing a dangerous game. She'd already skirted too close to the truth.
"This isn't over, Suzume. You cannot change your destiny."
"I know."
She ended the conversation there. She wasn't sure if Hisato was watching her or if it was only his command that kept her from saying what she meant. But she didn't want Rin or anyone else to get hurt if he tried to use her again. If she was right, Rin would be gone by the time she returned from the party and Kaito would know what was coming next. Maybe with time, she could figure out a way to fight Hisato's control and stop the attack altogether.
These thoughts filled her mind as she headed out of the main palace where she'd been staying to the second wife's palace. It was within the compound of the palace and a short walk through the connecting garden. The secondary palace was where she had grown up and she hadn't been back since she returned. But as she walked up the familiar pathway, she was overcome with memories. There was the maple tree that dropped beautiful crimson leaves in fall. There was the place where she took her lessons. And around the side of the building was where she'd had her first kiss with a young courtier.
A servant greeted her and showed her inside. The main hall glittered with candles, and as she shed her outer coat, handing it to a servant, she heard the murmur of voices coming from the entertaining room. Throughout her childhood Izume had often thrown parties, trying to gain favor of powerful courtiers.
Hearing the sounds of a party and her mother's laughter, she felt as if she'd been transported back in time. Like everything that had happened up until now was nothing but a dream. Suzume made her way into the dining room, where her mother sat at the head of the table, restored to her former place. Like a flower blooming in the winter, she was a burst of color against a drab landscape. She sat at the center of half a dozen courtiers, all council members to the emperor.
A part of her wanted to be mad that her mother had gone right back to her old habits—scheming and politicking. But it was good that she was, if Suzume could get her mother on her side. As Suzume entered her mother made a loud exclamation and leaped up to greet her. All eyes turned toward Suzume.
"There you are. Come sit with me at the head of the room." She took Suzume's hand and led her to the head of the table. "This looks beautiful on you," Izume said, admiring the very kimono she'd gifted Suzume and requested she wear to the party.
The guests greeted Suzume before everyone settled in for their meal. Among the older council members was a young courtier who was unsurprisingly placed beside Suzume. Likely with the intention of having them get to know one another. Since her marriage to Daiki had been absolved, no doubt, her mother was already planning a marital alliance. It was strange, before her mother had never taken much interest in Suzume's hunt for a husband. But she supposed things had changed since the exile. She should take it as a sign their relationship was being repaired.
The nobleman flattered Suzume all through dinner, but she used her fan to hide her bored expression. Before she would have reveled in his attention. He was young and handsome, the heir to a powerful family. He was an ideal match, but all she could think about was Rin, hoping she would get to Kaito in time to warn him. Which would inevitably lead her to thinking about how she could avoid killing him.
After the meal was served, Izume stood up. The room fell silent and everyone turned to her expectantly, as if they'd all been waiting for this moment. But this wasn't part of her usual routine.
"I am very happy to be back among friends at the palace." She smiled as the courtiers laughed, as if they were all sharing in some joke. Izume waited for the laughter to die away before continuing. "But I am twice blessed to have not only my daughter, Suzume, here with me, but my son, as well."
She gestured to the back of the room and door which led toward the private quarters of the house. Suzume's younger brother, Ryouta, stepped through the door. He'd grown since she'd last seen him. His dumpling cheeks had thinned and he was almost as tall as her now. Suzume blinked in surprise to see him. At first she hadn't recognized him at all. Though he was not quite a man, it was clear he was on the cusp of manhood. The ghost of a mustache was on his lips. Even before she had been exiled, they'd hardly seen one another. When he was still a child, he'd been sent away to study.
"Now let us toast to the dawning of a new era in Akatsuki." Everyone lifted their glasses before taking a drink. Suzume tore her gaze away from her little brother, who kept his head lowered, to her mother who was smiling and exalting in the attention of her guests.
When the toast was finished, her brother took his seat on the other side of her mother. The men around the table complimented him, inquiring after his studies. All questions he answered with shy, quick answers. Suzume had to have misunderstood what her mother had said. It was
Lord Kaedemori who was the one plotting against the throne. Suzume had been the one to make the accusation.
There was no chance to ask her mother what she meant, as the party continued to flow around them. After a while the guests left one by one, until only the three of them remained. A servant came and poured them tea, and Izume picked up the steaming cup, inhaling the aroma. She gave a contended sigh.
"It is good to be back together," she said as she set her cup back down. She reached out to touch her brother's hand, squeezing it gently. Suzume pretended not to notice the snub. That didn't matter right now. She was concentrating very hard on trying to summon Kazue, so she could ask her mother for help.
Izume noticed her intense concentration and said, "What's the matter, darling?"
"You should be more careful with your words. People might get the wrong impression," Suzume scolded her mother, her tongue automatically changing the subject.
"These are our most trusted allies. We have nothing to worry about from them."
"But if the emperor hears rumors that you are plotting to take the throne, where will that put us?"
Izume shook her head and laughed. "Suzume, don't be so naive."
She bristled at her mother's insult. "I'm being realistic. The court is watching our family."
Izume shook her head. "I have given my account to the court today. Your grandfather and the Kaedemoris have all been shamed."
"What? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because we are not Kaedemoris, we are the emperor's family."
Perhaps she'd given Izume too much credit. Was it a mistake to bring her back here? It made her sick to her stomach.
"What are you planning?"
"I only want to make your life better, my dear."
"What are you planning?" Suzume asked again, her voice rising. Kazue's flames came burning to the surface. Ryouta and her mother both stared at her with wide eyes.
"You know what I want, Suzume."
"You said it was my grandfather who wanted to put him on the throne."
The Song of the Wind Page 30
