by Penny Reid
Maybe I’d go find Jethro and see where he was hiding. I knew of most of the folks present, but Jethro was only person other than Ben and his family that knew me. Jet made a point to visit us in Nashville whenever Ben was home from the Army, and sometimes he’d visit even when Ben was deployed, just to take me out to dinner or a movie. I guess I owed Jethro too.
I’d taken two steps from the alcove when Samantha’s voice continued, “If you want to orgasm, then you better learn how to pretend your partner is the one you want. For example, before I met my husband, I usually imagined Billy Winston instead of whoever I was with.”
I gasped.
And, from the sound of it, so did several other ladies.
“Samantha!” someone said, clearly scandalized, but then the voice continued on a laugh, “I can’t believe you said that out loud. I mean, I don’t blame you, but I can’t believe you said it!”
Unconsciously, I strained my ears for Samantha’s response, but I couldn’t hear anything because my brain and heart were pitching a riot.
WHAT?
WHAT???!!?
HER HUSBAND?
ISN’T BILLY HER HUSBAND?
WHO IS HER HUSBAND?!!?!
I shook my head, telling my brain not to shout, and stumbled dumbly out of my corner. I couldn’t have been more stunned if someone had hit me with a taser. On autopilot, I drifted closer to the door of the sunroom for some reason (. . . It was so I could hear better, okay??)
But I must’ve stumbled too far, because in the next moment Annabelle Cooper appeared in the doorway, gave me a surprised yet assessing once over, and then pulled me inside the room, saying, “We’re shutting this door, darling. Sensitive topics, you know. Please, do come in and take the seat by Alison Beverton.”
The woman Annabelle identified as Alison Beverton was not the senior Mrs. Beverton—lead cantor at the First Baptist Church—but someone who looked like her younger, and tanner, twin. Alison Beverton grinned at me, lifting a conspiratorial eyebrow and patting the bench seat next to her.
Meanwhile, none of the other women gathered seemed to notice me or pay me any mind. They were all either leaning forward, their eyes on Samantha in the center of the room—even more insanely gorgeous than she was in high school—or they were tracking the progress of Annabelle Cooper as she shut the door.
“Okay, Sam. Spill,” a brunette woman said, someone I didn’t recognize. Smiling from behind a rosebud teacup, the woman looked like that actress Courteney Cox, except with dark eyes. “I’d love to get the scoop on him.”
“Are we really going to talk about this?” A blonde woman moaned from across the room. I was pretty sure she was one of the Lees. Debbie Lee, maybe?
“Shh,” Annabelle Cooper hushed as she turned away from the closed door, taking the seat closest to Samantha. Tangentially, I realized they were related somehow. Samantha’s dad was Annabelle’s nephew, or great nephew, or something like that. “Go on, Samantha. We are all ears.”
“Well, ladies, let’s just say, Billy’s got it where it counts,” Samantha said, twisting her lips into a smirking, self-satisfied smile.
The room waited. I held my breath, on the edge of my seat. But also, I was confused as to how I’d suddenly arrived at this moment, in this room, staring at the woman I thought Billy had married over three years ago.
Before I could sort myself—or escort myself—out, Annabelle grumbled, “That’s all you’re gunna say?”
“Hell no!” Samantha tossed her head back and laughed, shaking her head at the older woman’s disappointed expression. “Give me a minute to get explicit, will ya? I need to build the tension. Here’s the deal . . .” Samantha glanced over her shoulder, making a show of it, and then leaned forward and whispered loudly, “He was so good, a natural. I was his first and it was like he already knew what to do. Or, it took him no time at all to pick it up. And he loves to go downstairs. I mean, he loves it. And when he fucks—oh, it makes my toes curl just thinking about it—he likes to—”
“I don’t think we should be talking about this—”
“Shut up, Debbie,” Annabelle Cooper shushed the same blonde woman as before, and then nudged Samantha’s knee with her fingertips. “What’s he like? You know, his thing.”
I stared at Mrs. Cooper. Aghast. The woman must’ve been seventy-five years old if she was a day and I just could not believe what I was hearing.
She didn’t seem to notice my shock.
“It’s so beautiful. Big. Long. Curves up a little, exactly like it should. But not scary big, like Isaac Sylvester’s.” Samantha shivered a little, like it was a bad thing. But then she shivered again, like it was good thing. “I’ll tell you about him too, if you want.”
The woman next to me shifted in her seat before saying, “Tells us more about Billy. How does he like it? Missionary or . . .?”
“Taking notes, Alison?” Annabelle Cooper laughed.
The brunette shrugged. “What if I am?”
Annabelle Cooper guffawed. Meanwhile, I had the sudden urge to dump Alison Beverton’s tea over her head.
Before I could unpack these feelings, Samantha answered, “He likes everything. He’ll do whatever you want. I mean it. And he’s equally good at all positions. I always orgasmed before he did. Always. Usually twice. One time, I talked him into—”
“Okay, okay. That’s enough.” Debbie Lee lifted her hands and shook them around her face. She then reached for her napkin and waved it frantically at her neck. “I’m sorry. But, I don’t think I can hear another word. I’m burning up.”
Samantha winked at Annabelle Cooper. “This Billy talk too hot for you?”
“I still don’t think we should be—”
Debbie Lee was cut off again. This time by Karen Smith (who Tammy McClure said was the town gossip). “The thing about Billy Winston is that he’s the whole package. He’s definitely husband material.” She said these words pragmatically, as though they were an acknowledged fact.
I grit my teeth to keep from snarking back, As opposed to what? Handkerchief material?
The other ladies, however, didn’t seem to have a problem with Karen’s statement, all responding in a chorus,
“That’s for damn sure.”
“I wish he’d notice my Karrie.”
“Yeah, but those brothers.”
“True. True.”
I spoke up without thinking, riding a wave of indignance. “What’s wrong with his brothers?”
“I agree with her. His brothers are cute little things. Give them time. They might surprise you once they’re men,” Annabelle said, smiling knowingly.
Karen Smith picked up her teacup. “They might improve, with time. But you marry Billy, then you got the rest of his family to deal with. He is very devoted to his family.”
“That just means he’ll be devoted to his own children and wife as well,” Alison argued, leaning to one side to address Karen Smith.
“I don’t know.” Karen made a thoughtful face. “He’s sacrificed a lot for his momma, his brothers. Seems like you marry him, you’re marrying them, too. And they’ll always come first over your own family.”
That didn’t sound bad to me. In fact, an instant family sounded like a bonus, especially the Win—ABORT, ABORT!! YOU SHOULDN’T BE HAVING THESE THOUGHTS, CLAIRE! ABORT!
“Anyway, y’all want to hear something funny?” Samantha sat forward again. “Y’all remember that guy I dated from New York? The Wallstreet one? Before I met my Charles? Well, I used to pretend he was Billy all the time.” She laughed, seemingly thinking this was hilarious. “No lie. But don’t worry, the fantasy didn’t last too long. He couldn’t keep up the ruse, if you know what I mean. It’s like, I’d really have to be in possession of a good imagination. That’s honestly why we broke up.”
Debbie Lee made a sound of distress. “Can we talk about something else? That poor man.”
“Who? Wallstreet guy? Don’t feel sorry for him. I know his current girlfriend and she gives him three blowjob
s a week. He’s happy.”
“Not your ex, Samantha. Billy Winston. I feel sorry for Billy.” Debbie sighed, folding and refolding her napkin, her hands unsteady.
“What? Why?” Samantha looked nonplussed, tossing her long, shiny dark hair over one shoulder.
“You keep objectifying him and he is such a nice guy,” Debbie Lee fretted, looking around to the others in the room as though to appeal to their decency. But no one was looking at her, finding their teacups more interesting.
“I’m not saying he’s not a nice guy, Debbie. I’m saying he’s fantastic in bed.” Samantha huffed. “Plus, how does one live in a town with a Billy Winston and not objectify the Billy Winston?”
“That’s why his sister is leaving,” Karen Smith announced.
“What? Ashley? She’s leaving?” Annabelle Cooper frowned at the town gossip.
“Yep.” Karen Smith nodded. “I overheard her telling Daisy Payton that she’s planning to go away to college. Far away. Have you seen how those high school boys carry on around her? Jackson James is the worst, and his daddy got so mad. Sheriff James is the good sort. Anyway, she’s tired of it, you can tell. Daisy is here somewhere, talking to Janet James over by the punch I think. You can ask her.”
Samantha nodded. “I can see that. Ashley is just so crazy beautiful.”
Again, the ladies all agreed in a chorus,
“She is stunning.”
“I wish I had her eyebrows.”
“She won that Miss. Tennessee pageant for good reason. So gorgeous. And smart, too.”
“Well, there you go.” Debbie Lee gave Samantha a hard look over her teacup, and then took a dainty sip.
“There I go, what?” Samantha snapped, her blue eyes narrowing.
“There you go. Ashley Winston is leaving ‘cause of how those boys at school keep talking and carrying on.” Debbie Lee set her teacup down on her saucer with a loud clink. “You shouldn’t be talking about Billy either.”
“Now you see here, Debbie Lee. I like sex a lot and I will not be shamed for it. We are a sex positive household.”
“I’m not shaming you for liking sex, Samantha. I am shaming you for objectifying Billy Winston. I mean the poor man isn’t here to defend himself!”
“Defend himself from what? From me saying he’s a great lover?” Samantha scoffed, her nose wrinkling in a way that made her beautiful face look adorable. “I’m sure he would thank me. We are still friends, you know.”
“It’s just not appropriate to talk about someone else in that way,” Debbie stood, picking up her teacup and lifting her chin.
“Well, why the hell not?” Samantha also stood, picking up her teacup too, like it was sword and they were about to duel. “I’m singing his praises, ain’t I? I mean, we all sit here and talk about how that Sylvester girl shouldn’t be in beauty pageants at her age and her momma is a dragon lady. I can’t say something nice about Billy Winston’s magnificent rooster without being henpecked? Gawd!”
“Ladies, ladies. Please settle down.” Annabelle Cooper’s hands lift, fingers covered in diamonds sending sparkles and rainbows all over the room, her voice rising by the barest of degrees. “No use getting your feathers ruffled, Debbie. If you don’t like the talk, no one is forcing you to listen.”
“Fine. Then I won’t.” Debbie strolled toward the door, her head held high, and I had the sudden notion that I should follow her.
You shouldn’t be here!
“I think I will go find Daisy Payton,” Debbie said, having finally reached the door.
I told my legs to work, I told myself to stand up, I told myself to leave. Billy Winston is none of your business. LEAVE!
“At least I can count on her for decent conversation,” Debbie Lee quipped. And with that, she opened the door and strolled out.
Get up, Scarlet. Get up. Get up. Go. . . go. I didn’t go. The warning voice in my head was weaker than the curiosity devils on my shoulders.
“Will someone else get that?” Annabelle Cooper asked the room, waited until the Courteney Cox look-alike shut the door, and then—grinning—turned to face Samantha again. “Now, what can you tell us about Isaac Sylvester?”
**END SNEAK PEEK**
Pre-Order Beard Necessities Everywhere!
Coming November 4, 2019
Other books by Penny Reid
Knitting in the City Series
(Contemporary Romantic Comedy)
Neanderthal Seeks Human: A Smart Romance (#1)
Neanderthal Marries Human: A Smarter Romance (#1.5)
Friends without Benefits: An Unrequited Romance (#2)
Love Hacked: A Reluctant Romance (#3)
Beauty and the Mustache: A Philosophical Romance (#4)
Ninja at First Sight (#4.75)
Happily Ever Ninja: A Married Romance (#5)
Dating-ish: A Humanoid Romance (#6)
Marriage of Inconvenience: (#7)
Neanderthal Seeks Extra Yarns (#8)
Knitting in the City Coloring Book (#9)
* * *
Winston Brothers Series
(Contemporary Romantic Comedy, spinoff of Beauty and the Mustache)
Beauty and the Mustache (#0.5)
Truth or Beard (#1)
Grin and Beard It (#2)
Beard Science (#3)
Beard in Mind (#4)
Dr. Strange Beard (#5)
Beard with Me (6)
Beard Necessities (#7, coming 2019)
* * *
Hypothesis Series
(New Adult Romantic Comedy)
Elements of Chemistry: ATTRACTION, HEAT, and CAPTURE (#1)
Laws of Physics: MOTION, SPACE, and TIME (#2)
* * *
Irish Players (Rugby) Series – by L.H. Cosway and Penny Reid
(Contemporary Sports Romance)
The Hooker and the Hermit (#1)
The Pixie and the Player (#2)
The Cad and the Co-ed (#3)
The Varlet and the Voyeur (#4)
* * *
Dear Professor Series
(New Adult Romantic Comedy)
Kissing Tolstoy (#1)
Kissing Galileo (#2, read for FREE in Penny’s newsletter 2018-2019)
* * *
Ideal Man Series
(Contemporary Romance Series of Jane Austen Re-Tellings)
Pride and Dad Jokes (#1, coming 2020)
Man Buns and Sensibility (#2, TBD)
Sense and Manscaping (#3, TBD)
Persuasion and Man Hands (#4, TBD)
Mantuary Abbey (#5, TBD)
Mancave Park (#6, TBD)
Emmanuel (#7, TBD)
