by Cara Dee
I’d let Bella loose inside a Michaels on the way home from the bar. She’d bought everything she believed had to be on the tree. And it was a lot, I could admit that. A sea of pinks and purples that glittered next to the snowmen and angels. In short, it was the opposite of how Melinda had treated decorating. I didn’t want things to look like they’d come straight out of a magazine. I wanted the fun memories, and Bella and I’d had a blast. We’d made hot cocoa and reheated snickerdoodles from the freezer—sadly, the last of the batch.
There’d been Christmas songs. A couple on repeat until I’d said those songs needed to rest.
“Come cuddle with me.” Adam yawned again and lifted an arm for me.
As tempting as it was, especially since he’d just showered off the smell of beer and fried food, we had to talk before I lost my mind.
“I have something I’d like to discuss with you first,” I said, stroking his leg. All the way up to the waistband of the sweats he’d borrowed from me. They were a size too big. “I’m nervous about it, because I want us all together.”
That had his attention, and he pushed himself up on his elbows and frowned at me. “Dude, I told you when we went public. You’re not just breaking my heart if this goes to shit. You’re breaking Bella’s too. Should I lay on more guilt right now, or wait until I’m throwing your clothes out the window in a fit?”
I mustered a weak smile and squeezed his knee. “Adam, I’ve never felt this way before, so I’m fairly certain you’re the love of my life. I think you can relax.”
He stayed in his tensed-up position, but his expression softened a little.
“It’s about Grace,” I went on. “Now that we’re finally getting closer, I’ve never detested the physical distance between us more.” I pushed forward as I saw the wariness in his eyes. “I want her to be a part of what you and I are creating. I want a family. A real one—with the four of us.”
“Go on,” he said carefully.
I released a breath and reached for the printouts I’d stashed underneath today’s paper. “I did some research today. And listen, our relationship is still new—I don’t want to be presumptuous. At the same time, I don’t want there to be any doubts. I’m all in. You, Bella, and Grace—you’re it for me.”
Adam withdrew his legs and sat up, visibly impatient. “Spit it out, Ev. You’re saying one thing, but it feels like something shitty’s about to happen.”
Oh, for chrissakes. I was never going to get this out the way I wanted to anyway. I handed him the printouts. “I want to spend more time in the Bay Area and be closer to Grace, but I don’t want to go without you and Bella. This is my solution—they’re listings of places in good school districts. For temporary stays,” I was quick to add. “Chicago’s home. This is where Bella’s growing up and where Grace will visit for holidays. But a few months of the year, I’d like for us to be in California.” I inhaled deeply after getting all that out. “I looked up some of the private schools and special programs, and comparing them to the school Bella’s in now, it looks like there’s room for customization. And there will always be winter break and the summer when school’s out. Adding a few weeks to that doesn’t seem to be an issue—logistically, that is.”
Adam went through the listings without saying a single word.
It made me word-vomit some more. “This would only be until Bella starts first grade, of course. I was, uh…I don’t know, considering two months in the winter and two months in the summer, a couple weekends here and there—nothing’s set in stone. But it would give Bella the freedom of choosing. If you agree, I mean. There’re endless opportunities for her—”
“Nine hundred thousand for a tiny-as-fuck three-bedroom?” Adam exclaimed incredulously. “Are the houses made of gold?”
I opened my mouth, then promptly closed it and got a better look at the listing in question. Oh. “But that’s Sausalito, love. It’s a wonderful area—close to San Francisco and not very far from Berkley.”
Adam pushed the listings away from himself and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t have that kinda money, Ev. It’s a good month if I manage to add fifty bucks to Bella’s college fund.”
“Hey.” I grabbed his hand and cautioned him before he could expand his rant. I could see him gearing up for it. “We’re two adults here, Adam. I never bought this place, remember? And—Christ, if there’s one thing I can do without fucking up along the way, it’s taking care of things financially. But at this point, it would just barely even the score between us, considering everything you’ve given me.”
He looked at me as if I were an alien.
I suppressed a sigh and brought his hand to my mouth, and I kissed his knuckles. “All I want is for the four of us to be able to see one another more often. I’ve discussed things with Tom and Richard at the firm, and they see it as an opportunity if I branch out and take on a project here and there in California. Then there’s you. You already work most of your hours from home. You could be a programmer and software developer in Sausalito too, you know.”
Adam scrubbed his hands over his face and left the couch to pace in front of the coffee table. “Winter’s out,” he said. “Kell and Teresa have done too much for me to bail on them. They need Trace and me when they’re in Florida.” He came to a stop with his hands on his hips and head tilted upward. Then he scrubbed at his face again and turned to me, looking like he was trying to solve a math problem. “I don’t like the idea of going back and forth a shitload. I like being settled. Can’t we do four or five months straight? I’d rather go in April and come home when school starts in August. We’ve got two years until Bella starts kindergarten, and as long as she thrives and as long as she ends up in a good place, I can be flexible with the rest.”
Hope surged forward inside me, and I got off the couch and joined him. “Does this mean you’re willing to explore this type of living arrangement of being on the West Coast for a part of the year?”
It went without saying that I wasn’t fussy about the whens. As long as I could create the possibility of Grace coming and going as she pleased more than she could now. It was a big difference between flying halfway across the country and driving an hour. My commute was twice that when we’d lived in San Leandro and I had work in San Francisco.
Adam cupped my elbow and moved in to rest his forehead on my shoulder. “All I had to do was picture myself in your position.” He lifted his face again and kissed my jaw. “Of course you’re gonna see Grace more often. I’d want the same. I don’t even know the woman, but I know you. I know this has been wearing you down.”
“It’s important to me that you and Bella are happy, though,” I murmured. “I know what it’s like to move away from a place I don’t want to leave.”
“This isn’t like that, baby.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “Chicago will still be my home. I’m just open to seeing if there’s more for us out there. I want Bella to have those options too, and she wouldn’t have them if it wasn’t for you.” He kissed me quickly, and I felt my lips stretch into a smile. “I’ve been to San Francisco once, actually. Crossing over the bridge was somethin’ else. It’s beautiful out there.” He paused. “But you’re still fucking crazy for even considering spending that much money on a house that’s roughly the same size as my condo.”
I chuckled and clasped my hands behind his neck. “Even if it has a Jacuzzi and an ocean view?”
His mouth twitched. “Yup, even then.”
“I love Sausalito—and I love you.” I heard my phone vibrate on the table. “We should take a vacation there this spring. I’ll show you. You’ll love it there.”
He smirked faintly and scratched his arm. “Can’t say I’m worried. I’m not hard to please, and Bella’s young enough to adjust easy.”
I hummed and saw I’d received a text from Grace.
“Oh fuck.” I rubbed my forehead as I read her message.
Mom’s getting a boob job, and you didn’t get a Porsche, but apparently you became gay…?
WTF, Dad? Call me.
My life just got a lot more interesting, that much was clear.
It was gonna be a challenge, and more than that, an adventure.
I was saddled up and ready, ’cause Ev made me wanna take the plunge. I wouldn’t know unless I tried and all that, plus I’d get to share my life with him. Holy hell, it was unbelievable.
For the longest time, it’d just been Bella and me. I loved being her dad more than anything in the world, but there was little to no time to be selfish. With Ev, everything felt more…effortless. Sharing responsibilities was a lot more appealing than trudging along on your own. It was like work. The tasks became a hell of a lot more fun if you enjoyed your coworkers.
Now we only needed to get the last coworker to join us. Judging by the trepidation on Ev’s face, I couldn’t be sure if the conversation was going well or not. He was the one pacing now, and I’d offered to leave the room, but he’d shaken his head. So, I’d taken up residence on the couch and watched things unfold.
California. Huh. Who woulda thought? Even though we hadn’t hammered out any details yet, I had to admit I was getting stoked already. Traveling hadn’t exactly been in the cards for Bella and me so far.
“No, not at all,” Ev insisted. “Please stop psychoanalyzing me, Grace. I haven’t been trapped in a damn closet.”
I snorted in an attempt to stifle a laugh.
Ev shot me a warning look.
I lifted a brow.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I assure you this is serious. I love him, kiddo.” He paused, and I got more comfortable. My feet landed on the coffee table, and I folded my fingers across my stomach. “How did you even find out about us?”
I was gonna spend the rest of my life with this man. I couldn’t see anything in my future that didn’t involve him anymore.
“Jesus Christ,” Ev muttered. “I didn’t know you were friends on Facebook.”
I quirked a brow, curious.
Ev covered the receiver and rolled his eyes. “She plays some absurd farm game on Facebook, and Mick, of all people, is in her game chat. He overshared, thinking I’d already told her.”
That was too funny.
Something Grace said made Ev smile a little to himself. It was sweet as fuck.
“We would love that,” he murmured. It was followed by a soft laugh. “Absolutely.” He sent a happy look my way and covered the receiver again. “She’ll be with us for Christmas—since she was with Melinda at Thanksgiving.”
I smiled through a yawn and relaxed fully.
Christmas should be fun. I’d be meeting…you know, my cousin slash stepdaughter who was, like, eight years younger than me.
Yup, life with Ev was definitely gonna be the best adventure.
Epilogue
A year and some change later…
Everett
“Wake up, princess.” I dropped a kiss to Bella’s hair and peered out the window. “Bella, we’re landing soon.”
She and I had been on the first flight out of Chicago to San Francisco today, which meant I’d woken up a cranky Bella at the crack of dawn to make it to the airport in time.
She’d been too excited to go to sleep last night, resulting in a night of very little rest.
“You’re always waking me up,” she mumbled drowsily.
“I know, it’s horrible. You’ll have to tell Daddy on me.”
She merely looked up at me with a weak scowl.
I grinned faintly and smoothed down her hair. “It’s going to be good seeing him again, won’t it?”
She nodded and yawned.
God knew I’d almost had a conniption fit or two the past week from missing him. If it hadn’t been for our nightly FaceTime calls, I would’ve behaved more like Bella when she wanted something she couldn’t have.
Thankfully, Adam and I didn’t spend much time apart. So far, it was only for this trip we hadn’t been able to synchronize our schedules very well. A company had hired him to rework their intranet, requiring him to be on-site a week before Bella was off for spring break. She and I had mostly spent time with Kell and Teresa, and it was possible we’d indulged a little too much in fast food.
After two trips to the Bay Area, we had found a little house in Sausalito, not much unlike the listing that had made Adam go berserk over the price. We’d gotten our Jacuzzi and our ocean view, but it was a two-bedroom with a studio above the garage. Perfect for Grace for when she stayed at the house, which she did quite frequently. My future architect daughter found more peace to study when she was an hour away from the apartment she shared with four other girls.
“The ground’s coming closer. Look!” Bella pointed out the window.
I leaned over the armrest and rested my chin on her shoulder. “Can you see Daddy and Grace down there?”
Bella gigglesnorted. “Tha’s not possible, goof.”
I smiled and kissed her temple, then straightened up and patted my pockets, making sure I had the rings.
Adam had to say yes.
“Christ, you can’t stand still for five seconds,” Grace laughed.
I smirked sheepishly and glanced at the screen for arrivals again. Motherfucking delays at this airport… Ev had texted earlier, saying they were stuck on the tarmac, waiting for a gate.
It’d been an awesome week work-wise, and I got along ridiculously well with Grace, who’d been staying at the house all week. Truth be told, we were more like siblings at times, but I reckoned it gave our weird family a last, nice twist. But right now, I just needed my man and my double trouble to join us already. Shit was all fucked when I couldn’t have my family close.
The curse of being a parent. Someone was always too far away, it seemed.
Then I finally got the text I’d been waiting for.
On our way to baggage claim now. Can’t wait to see you.
Fuck, me neither. My chest felt all tight with nerves and crap.
“Do you have the rings?” Grace asked.
I nodded, patting the pocket of my jeans. Definitely had the rings. I just had to make sure one of them ended up on Ev’s finger, and he wasn’t allowed to take it off for as long as we lived.
That wasn’t too much to ask.
More from Cara
Cara freely admits she’s addicted to revisiting the men and women who yammer in her head, and several of her characters cross over in other titles. Everett and Adam will be back as secondary characters when Trace gets his own book.
While you wait for Trace’s dirty tale, you might like the following.
Top Priority and Their Boy (M/m/M) Colt/Kit/Lucas. We go all out with the rougher side of kink in The Game Series. Not that the sweeter moments will be neglected, but our boys in this BDSM series play as hard as they love.
Power Play (M/M) Abel & Madigan. A sweet, angsty Daddy kink novel that deals with mental health disorders and the love between a hotheaded hockey player who struggles with his bipolar disorder, and an older, dominant tattoo artist.
Check out Cara’s entire collection at www.caradeewrites.com, and don’t forget to sign up for her newsletter so you don’t miss any new releases, updates on book signings, free outtakes, giveaways, and much more.
About Cara
I’m often awkwardly silent or, if the topic interests me, a chronic rambler. In other words, I can discuss writing forever and ever. Fiction, in particular. The love story—while a huge draw and constantly at the center—is somewhat secondary for me personally, because there’s so much more to writing romance fiction than just making two (or more) people fall in love and have hot sex. There’s a world to build, characters to develop, interests to create, and a topic or two to research thoroughly. Every book is a challenge, an opportunity to learn something new, and a puzzle to piece together. I want my characters to come to life, and the only way I know to do that is to give them substance—passions, history, goals, quirks, and strong opinions—and to let them evolve. Additionally, I want my men and women to be relatable. That
means allowing room for everyday problems and, for lack of a better word, flaws. My characters will never be perfect.
Wait…this was supposed to be about me, not my writing.
I'm a writey person who loves to write. Always wanderlusting, twitterpating, kinking, and geeking. There’s time for hockey, fighter jets, and cupcakes, too. But mostly, I just love to write.
~Cara.
