by Mandy Magro
3
Huntingvale Police Station, Huntingvale
Although a copper to his very core, Logan Steele knew all too well that no matter how strong he endeavoured to be, or how much he tried to make himself believe he could handle anything thrown at him, God could choose to prove otherwise. In his case, almost four years ago to the day, the message had been loud and clear. He’d learnt the hard way that he wasn’t invincible, nor was he immune from the deepest of sorrow. He’d never forget the pain of that fateful day, when his legs gave way, and he emotionally hit the ground, mighty hard. Experiencing that dark and lonely place once throughout his thirty-nine years was enough to last him the rest of this lifetime, and into the next. The thought of ever going through anything like it again terrified him. Usually fearless – it was the only thing that did.
At the time, he’d always believed bad things happened to everyone else, and it was his job to be the protector, to live up to his job and be the person who made things better. But boy, oh boy, how wrong he’d been – fate had walloped him with a horrific punch, one his aching heart was still recovering from. And whenever he stopped long enough to look back on the events, he couldn’t make sense of it. Every time, he had a real hard time joining the dots, but he accepted this was his path, as rocky and challenging as it could sometimes be. What other choice did he have? Amongst his hard lessons, he’d learnt the sun would always rise again, putting yet another day between now and the last time he’d seen his wife’s warm-hearted smile, or felt his little girl’s fingers entwine within his, her eyes bright as she giggled and told him just how much she loved her daddy. Not being able to protect the ones he loved the most, the centre of his world, would forever be a dagger in his side.
After seventeen years spent upholding the law, he’d seen things some would hopefully never witness in a lifetime, but the night he’d had to identify Jessica and Violet’s bruised, broken and battered bodies, and had to accept they’d both died instantly in the head-on collision, had been the one to send him to his knees for years. It had taught him life wasn’t fair or easy, and people weren’t always what they seemed. He’d learnt that unless you picked yourself up and got on with life, nobody else could help you to, as much as they might try.
He’d also learnt that this woman who’d just sauntered through his doorway and was now standing before him, looking at him as though she were about to devour him from head to toe, was far from what he wanted or needed.
‘Well, howdy there, Officer Steele.’ Leaning on his desk, Kimberley Lovell fluttered her fake lashes.
‘Hi, Kimberley …’ He stood from his office chair, trying to ignore how his very single bank manager was giving him every hint possible she was still very interested in him, even though their blind date two months ago had gone terribly. With a thankful smile, he placed the large envelope she’d just passed him onto his desk. ‘You really didn’t have to come all the way over here to drop it off. It wasn’t urgent. I could have …’
‘Aww, don’t speak of it, handsome.’ Red-painted fingernails that matched her bright red lipstick slid over her tight black skirt as she gave him the once-over with her sultry gaze. ‘I like to take care of my special customers, so it’s no bother at all,’ she cooed, bending just enough to flash her recently acquired, and very oversized, breasts.
A woman who still lived up to her high-school reputation when it came to men, Logan couldn’t help but wonder if she’d deliberately undone the top two buttons of her uniform, the very thought increasing his discomfort. ‘Well, thank you, once again.’ Resting his hands on his utility belt, he noticed her gaze went straight to his handcuffs. He cleared his throat. ‘Anyway, I best get back to it. I’ve got a mound of paperwork to catch up on before I head home.’
‘Isabella is with Josh this weekend, if you would like to pop in for a nightcap on your way past?’ Smiling coyly, she sashayed closer to him.
With his back virtually up against the wall of his office, Logan performed a sneaky sidestep and made his way towards the doorway he’d very deliberately asked her to leave open when she’d appeared at it. ‘Oh, thanks for the invite, but I’m beat, and I’ve got a smashing headache.’ He lied to save himself, but also to save her feeling too rejected.
‘Oh, bummer.’ Pouting, she rolled her eyes and sighed, her hands going to her curvy hips. ‘It’s been almost four years, Logan, you are allowed to move on with your life, you know?’
‘Yeah, I know, and I will, when I’m good and ready.’ Sick of people saying that to him, and not wanting to hear it from Kimberley of all people, he couldn’t help the irritation lacing his tone.
‘Well, you know where I live when you make the decision to.’ She placed a hand on his chest. ‘I’d love to be the one to ease that terrible heartache for you.’ She hitched her handbag up higher on her shoulder and made sure to brush past him on her way to the door. ‘I hope you get rid of that headache soon.’
‘Yes, me too, it’s a doozy.’ He strode out of the office with her and to the front door of the station, opening it for her – both because that’s what he always did for a woman and because he was desperate to get her the hell out of there.
Although in high heels, she reached up on her toes and kissed his cheek. ‘Night, Logan.’
He waved her off with a tight smile. ‘Night.’ Watching until she was safely in her car, he breathed a sigh of relief as he wandered back to his desk.
The envelope Kimberley had dropped off that contained the paperwork stating the bank no longer owned his family property, Willowbrook, was calling him. Keen to see it written in black and white and signed on the dotted line, he tore the envelope open and beamed proudly. Contrary to what some busybodies liked to believe, he hadn’t been handed the one-hundred-and-twenty-acre property on a silver platter when his father had decided to shut up shop, Bowen mangos no longer profitable due to the flooded market. He’d worked his butt off to pay the loan out in a quarter of the time he’d taken it out for. His parents had deserved to walk away from the place eight years ago with money in their back pockets, so they could enjoy their early retirement, possible with his mother’s income as a bestselling author and his determination to pay what the property was worth – minus thirty-five percent at his father’s stern insistence. They were now a pair of well-travelled grey nomads, and he envied their freedom, albeit being pleased for them both. One day, he hoped to find what they had, an endless love combined with true, unconditional friendship.
A head popped through the doorway, and Senior Constable Vance Robinson smiled his trademark wayward grin. ‘Hey, Steele, just checking she didn’t eat you alive.’
Logan smirked. ‘Almost.’
‘She has it real bad for you, doesn’t she?’
Logan pulled a questioning face. ‘Is it the fact she’s told half the township she’s going to make an honest man of me, or because she basically stalks me around town and hunts me down at the grocery store?’
‘Quite possibly all of the above.’ Vance offered him a lopsided grin.
Logan chuckled, shaking his head. ‘I honestly still can’t believe you and Pip set me up on a blind date with her. Of all the women in town …’
Vance held up his hands. ‘Hey, don’t blame me. I was just the messenger. You got Pip to thank for all of that.’
‘Uh-huh, and I told your wife, for the love of god, not to do that to me again. It was absolute torture.’ Logan cringed as he remembered Kimberley trying to place her hand on his crotch beneath the dinner table, with newly married Vance and Pip sitting opposite. ‘I think I’d have preferred to have stayed home and poked my eyes out with a blunt fork.’
Vance grimaced. ‘You’d think she’d have gotten the picture by now that you’re not interested, wouldn’t you?’
‘Yeah, god knows why she hasn’t. It’s not like we did anything other than eat dinner that night, and when I dropped her home I made it quite clear it wasn’t going to go anywhere between us.’
‘You gotta give her a gold
star for persistence.’ Leaning on the doorframe, Vance folded his arms and grinned. ‘Don’t forget, you’re one of the last eligible bachelors around this place.’
‘Oh thanks, and here I was thinking it was because of my mesmerising charm and good looks that she couldn’t let go of the idea of there ever being an us,’ Logan said jokingly.
Chuckling, Logan begrudgingly passed the keys to the station over to the fresh-faced senior constable, and one of his closest mates, feeling like he was tearing his right arm off in the process. ‘You make sure you let me know if you need me, okay?’ He held onto the keys, even though Vance now had a firm grip.
‘We’ll be all right. I have done this police gig before, you know.’ Vance snatched the keys and shoved them into his pocket. Smiling, he shook his head. ‘You gotta let go of the reins for a while, mate, and go and enjoy yourself outside of these four walls. Go away somewhere, make your holiday count.’
Logan huffed. ‘My forced leave, you mean.’
‘You haven’t taken much time off since it all happened, and head office don’t want you burning yourself out any more than you already have, and to be honest, neither do I.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I know.’ Logan heaved a sigh and then made his way over to the young local he’d arrested a few hours ago for drink driving, now somewhat sobered by the reality of it all. ‘I’m off, Kade, so make sure you show Constable Robinson the respect he deserves while you’re under his watch, won’t you?’ Blowing almost two times over the limit, the twenty-two-year-old was not only going to get a firm talking-to from his church-going parents, he would also lose his licence for a decent wallop of time and get smacked with a massive fine – and so he damn well deserved to.
Huddled into the corner of his cell, Kade nodded. ‘Yeah, I will.’
‘Good to hear.’ He shook his head, no more words needed after the huge lecture he’d already given him. Having known Kade for a good part of his life, Logan wanted to feel sympathy for the young bloke, but after a drink driver stealing everything that mattered to him, it was impossible to feel an ounce of compassion.
‘I know I should’ve known better than to let my mates talk me into driving them all home from the lake.’ Unable to meet Logan’s stern gaze any longer, Kade instead looked down at his bare feet. ‘I should have camped there, like I usually would, and slept it off.’
‘Yeah, you should have, but you can’t go blaming anyone else, Kade. You’re the one who got behind the wheel. You’re just lucky you didn’t kill anyone while you were at it.’ Logan knew his tone was icy sharp, but he couldn’t help himself. He drew in a steadying breath. ‘I just hope you’ve learnt your lesson and you don’t go doing it again.’
‘Trust me, I have, and I won’t be.’ Kade rubbed his face and blinked faster, as though warding off tears. ‘I’m so sorry, Sergeant Steele, I know this is real close to home for you …’
Logan remained unyieldingly silent, his gaze saying everything he needed to. With another huff, he tapped the iron bars and started to make some distance. ‘You’ll be up first thing in the morning for court, so try and get some beauty sleep,’ he called over his shoulder as he met Vance at the back door. Leaning in a little, he dropped his voice to a hush. ‘I haven’t told him that his parents are coming to get him in a couple of hours, and they’ll be taking him to court tomorrow too. They agreed he needs to learn a hard lesson, and I was more than happy to put the wind up him, so he hopefully doesn’t do it again.’
‘Good job, I say. I’ll take care of it all from here.’ Vance gave a firm nod. ‘Now go home and get some bloody rest, would you?’ He gave Logan a friendly slap to the back. ‘You honestly look like death warmed up, mate.’
‘Geez, thanks.’ Logan tugged the door open, and the balmy night reached in, twirling with the coolness of the air-conditioning.
‘Why don’t you head to the coast for your six weeks off? The beach, sunshine, cold beer, women in bikinis … what more could you ask for?’ He shrugged and threw his hands up in the air.
Logan involuntarily shuddered. ‘The beach would be nice, for a day or two, but then I’d get bored – and I’m not interested in the women in bikinis. They only spell trouble.’
‘You’re one unique specimen, Steele.’ Originally from Bondi, Vance shook his head. ‘You can’t ever take the country out of the boy, can you?’
‘Never.’ Logan half chuckled as he dipped his head, and with an almighty effort, wrenched himself away from his second home, and into the late-afternoon air. ‘Catch you later.’
‘Yup, will do.’ The door jingled shut.
As he strolled over to his four-wheel drive, as much as he didn’t want to, Logan pondered both Kimberley’s and Vance’s words. Relationship-wise, he’d tried to move on a few times, like almost everyone suggested, but the whole getting to know someone, only to find out they were fake, or desperate, or digging for gold, or high maintenance, just wasn’t for him. He needed to feel a connection, beyond the flesh, before things went any further. And although having felt it twice in his lifetime already – once with his wife and the other time with the very charismatic Nina Jones – he was yet to come across it again. Maybe he’d gone and used up all his chances and he was destined to grow old all alone. Or being a little more on the optimistic side, maybe fate was going to surprise him when he least expected it and place a soulmate in his path. Either way, he’d just have to make the most of whatever life dished out – he’d learnt that the excruciatingly hard way. And he knew, as guilty as he felt about finding love again, his beloved Jessica would want him to move on, to be happy.
Blipping his LandCruiser open, he climbed in. Winding his window down, he reversed out and unhurriedly drove towards Willowbrook, his forearm resting on the windowsill. The last rays of sunshine bounced off his windscreen, and he grabbed his sunnies from the dash and slipped them on. After the short but intense thunderstorm that had rolled in a few hours ago, earthy scents now rose, and the frogs and crickets sang in celebration. Out of the suburban streets within minutes, the stretches of nothing on either side of the road were occasionally broken with a farmhouse, fruit trees, or livestock, but other than that, it was all sweet untainted nature to appreciate. Logan breathed it all in, smiling. There was something to be said for the sereneness of the countryside flashing past, bathed in the warm glow of a glorious sunset.
Fifteen minutes later, and almost home, his mobile phone chimed his favourite tune of all time, Guns N’ Roses’ ‘Paradise City’. He left it in the centre console and hit ‘answer’ on his hands-free – once a copper, always a copper. ‘Hey, William, how’d it all go, mate?’ The very thought of seeing Nina, after all these years, made Logan’s stomach backflip.
‘It was bloody tough telling her, Logan. It broke my heart, but it’s what Beatrice wanted.’
‘I can only imagine how bad you felt.’ Logan’s heart squeezed. ‘How’d she handle the news?’
William sighed. ‘Just as expected. She was shocked, and really upset. I just wish I’d been there to give her a hug.’
‘I bet, mate.’ Slowing, Logan bumped over a cattle grid and started along his long dirt drive. ‘It’s going to be tough for her, after not stepping a foot back here in almost twenty years, so we just have to make sure we’re both there for her, if she wants us to be.’
‘That’s all we can do, I suppose.’ There was another heavy sigh. ‘Thanks for lending an ear, to me and to Beatrice, these past four months, Logan. I know I can trust you to keep all of this to yourself.’
Logan nodded to himself. ‘I swore to Bea that what she told me was in complete confidence, so my lips are sealed.’
‘Thanks, Logan, I really appreciate it.’
‘It’s the least I can do, mate. Bea was there for me when I lost Jessica and Violet, so I owe her one, big time.’ Logan’s heart clutched and he swallowed down the familiar pain of loss and grief. ‘I’m going to miss popping in on her every day, even though half of the time she’d lecture me about making too much of a
fuss over her.’
William chuckled lightly. ‘Yes, me too, Logan, me too.’
‘Did the cremation go to plan?’
‘Yes. She got her wish of nobody other than me being there.’
‘Ain’t it crazy how she’s still a bossy boots, even from heaven.’ Logan hated the fact he couldn’t go and pay his final respects to Bea, but she’d been dogged in the fact she didn’t want a funeral – she just didn’t want to be fussed over. He had to respect her wishes.
‘That’s my little sister for you, always in charge of every detail.’ William was quiet for a few moments and then let out a breath. ‘Anyhow, I better get some dinner on the stove. I’ll chat to you when I know more.’
‘Great, yes, thanks. Catch you, old mate.’
‘Toodle-oo, Logan,’ William said, ending the call.
Logan had no idea how he was going to feel when he laid eyes upon Nina again, whether the feelings she used to conjure up deep inside him would reappear, or if, after everything he’d loved and lost, and how she’d taken off without even a goodbye or bothering to keep in touch, he’d feel resentment, or possibly even nothing. With twenty years behind them now, it was certainly on the cards. But one thing was for certain – he would be here for Nina, no matter what. He’d made a promise to Bea to do just that, and so he would. Maybe it was going to be a good way for him to pass the time – the very thought gave him a little bit of hope that the next six weeks weren’t going to be like pulling teeth.
Gazing out across lush rolling acreage aglow with the silver of the half-moon and the thick blanket of glimmering stars, Logan found it hard to accept this was now all his. From the babbling creek bordering his and his back neighbour’s land, to the row of towering pine trees on the far right, to the fence line of Riverstone Ridge on the left – every single picturesque inch of it. With the exception of a few years at university studying criminal law, and then his six-month stint at the Queensland Police Academy in Townsville, he’d lived on this piece of land all of his life – like his father, grandfather, and great grandfather before him. Although, unlike his father, Willowbrook wasn’t his livelihood; the increasing costs of fruit farming and the market-price drop had forced his father to make the heartbreaking decision to give it all up, but Logan still planned to live out the rest of his days here.
