by Mj Hendrix
He nods, and I slide under the blanket as he lies down on the edge of the bed again. I press play on the movie. Twenty minutes later, he reaches his hand over, and I place mine inside it. The gentle contact of our fingers is the only thing I can focus on. A sigh escapes me, and my eyes drift closed.
16
Adam
Doubts begin to flood my mind around noon the next day. I woke up in utopia, Harley wrapped in my arms. Her sleeping face is angelic. She murmurs unintelligibly in her sleep.
Nothing about her resembles what I expected to find when I went to college. If anything, I never once worried about meeting a girl like her. Someone so gorgeous and worldly should have been a flashing red light, signaling danger and destruction. Instead, she called to me like a siren from a Greek fable, but my ears weren’t covered.
Am I making a mistake?
My phone begins to ring, and I see Dad flashing on the screen.
“Hey, Dad. How’s the crop growing?” I answer, trying to clear Harley’s face from my head.
“Hey, Adam. It’s flourishing this year. The Lord has really blessed us. How are you and Dan?” His kind voice is usually soothing in my ear, but for the first time, it makes me anxious.
He can’t read my mind, I remind myself.
“We’re good. All As, going to church. Dan’s in the shower, but he’ll be out soon.” I want to pass the phone off to my brother.
“That’s okay. I was just calling to tell you we’ll be coming down for Family Weekend this Saturday morning. We found a discount campsite for RVs to stay in Saturday night. We’ve been wanting to go to church with you boys.” My father is a millionaire, but he’ll never spend money on a hotel. All nine of my siblings will be laid out on pallets on the floor of the RV.
“All right, sounds good. Anywhere specific y’all wanna go?”
My throat is feeling tight as I debate whether or not I should tell him about Harley. Would she want to meet them? I want her to, but at the same time, I know what the reception would be like.
I feel like I might be sick.
“Well, son, I guess we just want to get an idea of what your new city life is like. Your mother is a worrier, so we are thankful the university has organized this weekend for us to come down and experience your college days. We know you’re making good choices.”
His last statement rings ominously in my ears. I know for a fact he wouldn’t be saying that if he knew where I slept last night.
“All right, well…see you Saturday. I’ll tell Dan.”
We say good-byes and hang up.
My younger brother walks out of the shower, wrapped in a towel.
“Was that Dad?” he asks, rummaging through his drawers.
“Yeah. They’ll be here Saturday for Family Weekend.” My attempt at sounding nonchalant is an epic failure.
“Ahhh, so that’s why you sound like you’re about to throw up.” His voice is what nonchalant should sound like.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I grit out, my voice threatening.
“Hey, did I say anything? You know where we should take them?” He flips around. “What’s that place with the delicious root beer?” He pretends to rack his brain.
He jumps back as I take a step toward him, murder in my veins, fists clenched.
The adjoining suite door opens, and Levi peeks his head into our room.
“Hey, are your—” His eyes widen at the death glare on my face. “Whoa, what’s going on?”
He swings the door open, and Silas also pops his head into the room.
“What’s happening?” Silas says, curiosity in his tone.
Dan’s face breaks into a shit-eating grin. “Nothing, just super excited for Mom and Dad to meet my big brother’s girlfriend. I think it’s gonna go well. Harley fits in so well with all the tattoos, the short-shorts…”
He’s attempting to hold in a laugh, and I lunge for him, seeing red.
“Whoa!”
“Hey!”
Silas and Levi both exclaim as my fist makes contact with Dan’s jaw. His body crashes into the dresser, sending his Bible and some textbooks flying to the floor. Before he has time to react, I’ve got him on the carpet, straddling his body. Red-hot anger is in my blood, and I raise my fist, crushing his smug face with it. The contact hurts, but I barely register the pain. My left hand is holding his arm as I rear back for another punch.
A hand materializes from thin air and yanks my cocked fist back. Strong hands push into my chest, forcing me off of my brother.
“Cut it out, Adam! What the hell is going on?!” Silas roars at me, finally letting go of my fist to lean down and help Dan to his feet.
Blood is gushing from his nose, eyes blazing.
Levi is the one pushing against my chest, and I shove him off. He’s freakishly stronger than he looks for a genius with thick glasses.
“This is none of your business,” I roar at my friends, storming out into the hallway, slamming the door.
Part of me knows I’m overreacting, but a bigger part doesn’t care even a little.
“Whoa, man, you good?” a passerby in the hall questions me as he rushes past.
I ignore him, pressing my forehead to the cool cinder-block wall painted a dingy gray. My arms rise up, and my fingers join together, resting on the back of my neck.
What am I going to do about this weekend?
What am I going to do about Harley?
Minutes drag by, and my thoughts are a blur.
The door to our dorm opens and shuts, and I pray it isn’t Dan. I’m not ready to apologize, and I don’t want to hit him again.
“You ready to talk about this?” Silas’s voice breaks through my hazy thoughts. He pauses for another minute before saying, “Dan’s in my room. Come on.”
I attempt to control my breathing before reluctantly turning around and following him through the door. He’s standing with his arms crossed, Levi next to him with a worried expression.
“All right, so what’s going on?” Silas drawls.
He sounds bored, but I know he cares about Dan and me.
I start to explain, “Nothing. It’s got nothing to do wi—”
“Cut the BS. We’re not morons. We’ve known you our whole lives. You never came home last night, and you’ve been hanging out with the tattooed chick.” Silas is stoic. He’s a stubborn one.
I sigh, mentally exhausted. Maybe they’ll have an insight that could help me. They won’t tell my parents. I feel confident that I can confide in them.
“Her name is Harley. She isn’t…what she seems. I mean…she isn’t pure or untouched, but I don’t care about that. She’s…addictive. I can’t stand to be away from her.” I peer up at them, desperately hoping I’m making sense.
“I know she doesn’t look it, but she’s sweet, and smart, and…I don’t expect y’all to understand. I want to be with her. Hell, I’m supposed to be taking her out soon.
“Now, my family is coming here for Family Weekend, and Dan’s talking…mess about it. Baiting me to introduce her to our parents, knowing what they’ll think. I don’t see her as something I have to keep secret, but at the same time, I know what they’ll say if I bring her around.” I sigh in defeat, dropping down to sit in my desk chair. “I don’t want her to get hurt, but it seems like either way…she’ll be the one who’s rejected. Either by me or them. I don’t see a way to avoid it.”
My eyes plead with them to help me, but they both look shocked, eyebrows raised.
They glance at each other, then back down at me.
“Uh, well, we had no idea you…were this serious with her. I mean, we kinda thought you liked her, but…I didn’t know you actually wanted to be with her,” Silas responds, scratching his chin. “She is gorgeous though.”
My blood heats at his last statement, and I send him a warning glare. He bursts out laughing.
I try to make them get it. “It’s not about her being gorgeous. It’s…she’s different…” I trail off, unable to explain
what I’m feeling.
We were all taught the same thing, growing up. To find a good, pure woman to marry and start a family with her. Girls in our church were told to hold on to their virtue. It’s the gift they offer up to their husbands on the wedding night. Of course, us boys were taught to respect women and treat their bodies like temples of the Lord.
Where does that leave a girl like Harley? I don’t see her as less valuable than any other girl, but I know my parents wouldn’t want me to be with someone who isn’t pure.
Levi speaks up, “Yeah…if you really like her and you think she isn’t…bad news”—he means a whore—“then I think you should go for it. Introduce her to your family and give them a chance. They could surprise you. They’re great people. Maybe they’ll see her like you have. A bad past, wanting to do better in the future.” He finishes his speech with a reassuring nod.
I contemplate his words for a minute before replying, “Are y’all sure…you really think I should introduce her to my family? This weekend?”
I’m doubtful, but a glimmer of hope has flamed up inside my chest. Maybe they’re right. Maybe my family will want to meet her. They could dismiss the tattoos and provocative clothing, seeing what’s truly underneath, like I have.
Levi and Silas look at each other and back at me.
“Yeah, man, really. If you’re serious about her, the sooner, the better. Your family is one of the best I know,” Silas says. He smiles, clapping my shoulder.
“You should, uh, see Dan’s face,” Levi mumbles. He tries to cover a grin with his hand.
I groan, “Ugh, is it that bad? I still think he deserved it.” My voice is full of conviction.
They both laugh.
“Yeah, he did, but now, you have to explain that and Harley to your parents,” Silas says with a smirk.
17
Harley
“I promised myself that when I moved here, I would only go to Crumble once a month. You have to hold me accountable. I refuse to gain the freshman fifteen,” Kenna states as we wait in a ridiculously long line on the sidewalk.
“What’s so special about these cookies that we have to wait in line for them?”
The dingy sidewalk is filled with customers like us, all waiting our turn to go inside the tiny bakery in the downtown area of Greencity.
“You will see for yourself soon, and then you’ll understand the once-a-month rule.” We shuffle forward a fraction of a step. “So, did anything exciting happen while I was gone?” Kenna asks, tapping on her phone with sharp baby-pink acrylic nails.
“Adam stayed over last night,” I confess, running my chipped, short nails through my tangled hair.
Her eyes widen as she looks up at me. “What?! We’ve been together the last two hours, and you’re just now mentioning this?” She clicks her phone shut and shoves it in her crossbody purse. “Tell me everything! How many bases?” She grins, lifting her brows suggestively.
“We just…made out a little, but he was…damn good at it. He wants to take me to dinner,” I admit, lowering my eyes.
It still seems surreal that he wants to take me out on a real date.
“Aww, that’s so sweet. I was hoping for second base, but I guess this is better. He seems like the type to wine and dine a girl. So, do you, like, think y’all might start dating?” She tilts her head to the side, watching me.
I shrug. “I don’t know. He keeps saying all this stuff about wanting to respect me and doing things right. Which I never thought would actually happen to me. I don’t really know how I feel about it.”
It’s sad but true. Girls like me don’t get special attention from nice guys, apart from the sexually motivated kind.
We move forward in the line again, finally getting close enough to see the register and a display of enormous, thick cookies.
“Well, guys like that are basically one in a bazillion. Hot, sweet, and respectful? It seems almost…too good to be true.” She sighs, watching a motorcycle roar past us on the street. “You should snatch him up before some other ho does.”
I cross my arms over my chest, toeing my worn red sandal over a blade of grass breaking through a sidewalk crack.
I finally gain the courage to speak. “My concern is just that he…he’s like that sweet guy who wants to go back to the farm and raise a family. He wants kids and some barefoot, pregnant girl to bake him apple pies on Sunday. That will never be me. I guess I’m just seeing where it goes because…yeah, he’s incredible. I’ve never in my life met a guy like him. If he’s for real—which seems unlikely, but if he is—then yeah, I would totally snatch him up.” I pause, debating my next words. “I guess I just…don’t know how he’ll feel about…some things from my past that aren’t exactly pleasant. He’s so innocent. Honestly, it’s not a bad thing, but…he doesn’t even know what social media is,” I confess, knowing she’ll be as shocked as I was.
Kenna gasps dramatically.
“No way!” Her mouth is an O. “Wow…that’s some pretty impressive sheltering.” She lowers her voice to a stage whisper. “Is his family, like, in a cult?”
I lift my hands, palms up. “I have no idea. He hasn’t said much about them. I know they’re super religious,” I say, thinking of the dancing-is-sinful conversation. “I get the feeling he was raised in a really strict home. Which is the exact opposite of how I was. I don’t know…it seems like our differences could be insurmountable.” I sigh, discouragement creeping in.
My mom basically abandoned me when I was seven, leaving me for days at a time on benders. I bounced between foster homes the next eleven years with essentially no rules and few expectations. I never had anyone to answer to—until Victoria.
“Oh, don’t say that! Love doesn’t care about background or upbringing. You can love someone who grew up different than you as long as you can agree on how you want to raise your kids,” she says confidently.
We are finally only two people away from the front, and the sugary chocolate smell is wafting through the air, watering my mouth.
“I don’t think I want kids, so…I guess I need to ask him if he does. That could be a deal-breaker.” I pull out my wallet, fishing around for a few dollar bills I made in tips.
Kenna laughs. “Yeah, that’s a conversation you should have before he falls completely in love with you.”
We climb into her Jeep ten minutes later, digging into the melty, phenomenal bakery cookies.
“These are sinfully delicious,” I say around the steaming bite of a double dark chocolate morsel.
“I know, right? Told you. Only once a month—I mean it.” Her voice is a little desperate for me to agree to the timeline.
“Mmm, let’s go back tomorrow…” I moan dramatically.
“Harley! No! If I get fat because you keep forcing me to—”
I burst out laughing at the seriousness of her tone, and she looks over at me with a grin.
“Ugh, you’re the worst,” she says, shaking her head and trying not to laugh.
Her freshly highlighted hair is blowing in the wind coming through the open windows as we cruise.
My phone pings with a text. Looking down, I see an unknown number.
Unknown: Harley, where are you? What makes you think you can steal my money, then run off and hide? I’m not dealing with Lenny and Seven on my back about where you are anymore. You created this shit storm, now face the consequences!!!
My bloodstream slowly freezes as I read the message. Victoria is so sweet to check in on me, considering I ran away a month ago. With trembling fingers, I block the number.
Looking up, I see the university coming into view. My heart is thundering in my chest as I try to take a few discreet, calming breaths. We make our way up to our room, and I immediately curl up in my bed.
“Hey, Riley just asked if I want to go tanning. You in?” Kenna asks, checking her hair in the mirror.
“No, you go ahead. I need to study,” I mumble.
“Okay, see you at dinner.” She skips out the door.
I’m paralyzed by my thoughts for at least an hour, debating how much Victoria knows.
Has she found me? She said I was hiding, so I would assume that means she has no idea where I am. I haven’t been getting texts from Seven ever since I blocked him. He’s probably still been trying to contact me.
Why can’t he get over it and find someone new to torment?
My phone is giving me anxiety, so I turn it off and drift into a restless sleep.
I wake up to a light tapping on my forehead.
“Psst, sleepyhead. You gonna eat dinner?” Kenna whispers.
I crack an eye, seeing her lilac hoodie and white Lululemon shorts. She smiles.
“It’s, like, seven thirty. You’ve been in a coma, and I’ve been starving for over an hour now. If you wanna go back to sleep, I’ll—”
“No, it’s fine,” I croak, my voice half-asleep. “I’ll come.”
I sit up, registering that I’ve still got on my black athletic spandex and loose white T-shirt from earlier. After tossing my hair into a giant bun, I step into my slides. We head to the cafeteria.
We’re exiting the dorms when she asks, “You gonna meet Adam?”
I sense a hint of curiosity in her voice, possibly relating to his potential companions.
“Oh shit, I forgot my phone. I turned it off.” I stop on the sidewalk, debating going back for it.
“Nooo. Please, let’s grab a quick bite. Then, we can…” She trails off as we see four strapping, tall, muscular forms walking toward us.
They look like the beginning of a lumberjack Magic Mike show, all dressed in plaid and denim, clomping their boots. Adam stands out in the front, his jeans hugging his muscular thighs deliciously.
“Geez, how are they not being swarmed twenty-four/seven? If my sorority sisters knew this group existed…” She shakes her head, toying with the end of a curl.
Adam sees me, his face breaking into a grin that lights my insides up. His step quickens, and mine increases in his direction at a new speed. He’s still a block away, and I can’t reach him fast enough.
