All the Love in the World: A Holiday Anthology

by Karina Halle

  We step through the doors and onto the patio, the floor cold and damp through my socks. He slides the door closed behind us.

  What are you doing? Perry comes into my head, but I just shut my eyes for a moment, booting her back out.

  “You okay, Dex?” Daniel asks.

  I look at him, giving him a quick smile. “Oh fine. Just a bit concerned you might be plotting to murder me and have a quick burial.”

  I expected him to laugh at that, or at least smile, but he doesn’t do either.

  “Here’s the thing,” he says. “This isn’t about the fig tree.”

  “You mean that fig tree?” I ask, pointing to a small one in a large white pot.

  He glances over his shoulder at it. “Yes.”

  “Well I can tell you one thing, you need to plant it soon. It won’t do too well in a pot.”

  He frowns at me. “So you do know how to garden?”

  Honestly, I’m just making shit up. I shrug. “So, what is this about, if not about figs?”

  He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before adjusting his glasses. “Okay. You have to promise me you won’t tell Ada or Perry about this.”

  Oh no. I’m being sworn to secrecy. That’s not the easiest thing around my wife.

  I swallow. “You know, I’m not the best with secrets.”

  “Then you’ll have to try, alright?” He says sternly.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I’ve been having…visions.”

  “Visions? Like…of the Virgin Mary?”

  “No,” he says sharply. “You know I’m not a priest, right? Anyway.”

  “Right, right. The visions.”

  “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I keep seeing Ingrid.”

  My heart goes still. Perry’s mother.

  “That’s not a crazy thing,” I try to reassure him. “That’s normal.”

  “It’s not normal,” he says, a wild spark in his eyes. He’s shaking his head. “She keeps telling me the same thing over and over again. Like she’s stuck on repeat. I see her before I go to bed at night. I see her in the morning. Sometimes I see her in the middle of the road. Sometimes the mirror. It should be comforting Dex, but it’s not.”

  The chills are back, cascading down my spine. Above us, in the misty sky, a flock of birds flies past, chattering and moving as one until they disappear.

  I swallow thickly, the cold in the air seeping to my bones. “What, uh, what does she keep saying?”

  He stares at nothing for a moment, and even though I’m trying not to pick up on anything, I know he’s waging a war with himself. That he thinks he’s crazy.

  “You’re not crazy,” I quickly tell him. “Let’s just settle that right now. And these aren’t just tricks of your mind either. You know by now, you’ve seen enough.”

  He grimaces, then nods sharply in agreement. “You’re right. It’s not my mind. But I have to pretend it is, don’t you see? Or I really will lose it. I can’t afford that. I’m all my daughters have left.”

  “What is Ingrid saying?” I ask again.

  “She keeps saying…don’t let her.”

  “Don’t let her what?”

  “That’s just it. I don’t know. I’ve asked. I ask and I ask and that’s all she says. She pleads. Don’t let her, don’t let her.”

  More chills, the rawness in my father-in-law’s voice.

  “And you don’t know who she’s talking about…Perry or Ada?”

  He shakes his head. “No,” he says quietly, staring at the ground. Then he glances up at me. “That’s why I told you, Dex. Because I know, no matter who she’s talking about, you’ll be there to protect her. Protect the both of them when you can.”

  “I think Jay can look out for Ada,” I tell him. I hate to stick up for him, but I at least believe he protects her and cares for her.

  “Nah,” he says dismissively. “I don’t like him.”

  “Neither do I, but…your daughter has been dating him for a year.”

  “She says they aren’t dating,” he says. “If you can believe it.”

  I smile. “Not as tricky as she thinks.” I pause, my stomach starting to feel unsettled. “Do you have any idea at all what your wife would have meant?”

  “I really don’t.”

  “And you think it’s her?”

  Not, like a demon, I finish in my head.

  “I don’t know what I think, Dex.”

  “And you don’t want to tell them?”

  “I don’t want to worry them. Talking about their mother…it’s hard. I know neither of them are okay yet. I know I’m not. I’m not sure when I will be either. I just…I want to keep them safe and in the dark, for as long as I can, until I can figure out what’s going on. But in the meantime…just look out for them, Dex. Look out for Perry. I’ll watch Ada as closely as I can, but only you can protect Perry.” He rubs his lips together, making a face. “I know you have so far.”

  “Was that so hard to say?” I ask, half-joking.

  He puts his hand on my shoulder. “You love her. I know you do. Just keep loving her, please.”

  Good lord. His words are breaking my heart.

  “I love her more each morning than I did when I went to sleep.”

  “Good,” he says after a moment. “And hopefully this is just me worrying for nothing. I have been stressed lately, drinking a little too much. Perhaps it’s a wake-up call to stop the booze. Maybe the hallucinations will go away.”

  But I know that’s not the case.

  It takes a lot to get a man like Daniel Palomino to admit he’s seeing ghosts.

  Unfortunately, whatever message Ingrid is passing on is an important one.

  Too bad we don’t know what it means.

  Chapter 5

  “So he doesn’t trust Jay?” Perry asks.

  We’ve been driving for about an hour, and she’s been grilling me non-stop on the whole exchange with her father. Naturally, I had to cover the truth with a lie, one that she’d believe.

  “No, he doesn’t,” I tell her for the millionth time. Not a lie either.

  “No wonder he seemed so bothered by them coming to Seattle for the night. Wait, you didn’t tell him anything about the haunted house, did you?”

  I give her a loaded glance. “Come on.”

  “Okay, just checking.”

  After Daniel dumped that secret on me, which I really want to chalk up to him just having too much to drink and hallucinating, the rest of us got going. Perry and I in our car, Jay and Ada smushed together in her Mini Cooper, which she just raced past us on the I-5 only moments ago.

  Of course, Ingrid’s words are bouncing around in my head now.

  Don’t let her. Don’t let her.

  Who? What?

  If it’s Perry, what isn’t she supposed to do?

  Buy the overpriced Slayer vinyl she’s been eying on Ebay?

  Or, like, go into this haunted house tonight?

  Or is it something much deeper than that?

  And if it’s Ada, same questions apply.

  There’s just not enough to go on, and it’s not like I can stop Perry from doing anything in the first place.

  You just need to protect her, I remind myself. Love her, fuck her, protect her. That’s always been my duty.

  “So why did he talk to you about her and not me?” she asks, snapping me out of it.

  I sigh tiredly and go back to lying. “Because he didn’t want you to worry about her. You already worry about her enough. I guess he wanted me to look out for her, you know, since I’m a big tough man and all that.” When she doesn’t say anything, I glance at her. “Don’t you dare laugh.”

  She presses her lips together, eyes dancing. “I’m not laughing because I know you’re stronger than anyone has a right to be. But my dad doesn’t know that.”

  “Look, just because he got a good punch at me once…”

  Truth be told, I like that people underestimate me. They think because I’m not over six feet
, and that I’m not crazy bulky, that I can’t possibly possess the strength that I do. But I do. And my favorite thing is catching people completely off-guard.

  Not that I ever want to challenge her father to a boxing match or anything.

  Not really.

  When we finally get back to downtown Seattle, it’s just us two. Ada and Jay went to Target for some reason, and while I’m usually pretty lenient, I put my foot down when Perry said she wanted to join them. That place is worse than Wal-Mart. At least in Wal-Mart, you’re in and out, lest you get sucked in and become of those Wal-Mart people you see on the internet. Target is the same pig in a different shade of lipstick, and I have no idea how it captures women for hours, how they disappear inside the cavernous white walls looking for toothpaste and a bag of Cheetos and yet come out with five-hundred-dollars worth of crap, all disoriented, not remembering why they even went in there in the first place.

  Did I mention how much I hate Target?

  So we get back to an empty apartment. Fat Rabbit has been with our friends, Dean and Rebecca, since we thought we’d be celebrating at a fancy hotel tonight instead of going ghost-hunting.

  Ghost-hunting.

  I never thought those words would cross my mind again, and yet they are.

  That’s what we’re doing tonight.

  Call it a séance, call us mediums, call us two amateurs trying to talk to the dead.

  But we’re hunting for ghosts.

  Fuck-a-doodle-do.

  This shouldn’t feel this good.

  Ah…

  And there it is again.

  This strange electricity in the air between us as Perry walks in and throws her bag down on the sofa, her posture immediately relaxing now that she’s home. She pauses, her back to me, raising her arms above her head in a long satisfying stretch.

  I can’t help myself. I walk over to her, my veins buzzing like I’ve just been plugged into a socket. Those raw, desperate feelings I felt earlier are back with a vengeance.

  I put my hand at the back of her neck, grabbing her there, and pull her around to me. She lets out a gasp, spinning on her feet, and I bring her crashing against my mouth, kissing her hard and hungry.

  She kisses me back, fueling the fire, my hands drift to her jeans, trying to unbuckle them, my fingers fumbling, not working fast enough.

  But then her palms are on my chest, pushing me back.

  We break apart.

  I stare at her, feeling fucking crazy and wild, breathing hard.

  She stares back at me in complete confusion.

  “What has got into you?” she says, her eyes huge. “Dex.” She presses her fingers into my chest, as if she’s checking to make sure it’s me.

  And it is me.

  I’ve never felt more like myself.

  “We’re alone,” I tell her, my voice going husky. Do I have to actually tell her that I just want to screw her like crazy right now, right here in the living room?

  “Not for long,” she says. “Ada and Jay had a head start, they’ll be here any second.” She licks her lips, blinking. “Look, last night was amazing but…”

  “But what?” I ask quickly.

  Oh god, is that…rejection that I’m starting to feel?

  Is this her payback for not letting us go to Target?

  “I’m just not used to this,” she says carefully.

  “Not used to this?” I repeat. “We used to fuck non-stop.”

  “Yes, we did,” she says, her cheeks flushing, and fuck, of course that also turns me on. I couldn’t be harder, even when she’s turning me down. “We did. Back then. And then we got married and it slowed down and that was okay too.”

  She’s leaving out the period when I was on anti-depressants where it didn’t just slow down, it completely stopped. We survived that lurch, but it wasn’t a lot of fun. Sure, my brain felt better, but when your dick doesn’t cooperate, and you can’t fuck your wife on the regular, it does wear on you. Our connection suffered.

  Then again, I went down on her all the time, so I’m not sure she faired as badly as I did.

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I…I don’t know what’s come over you, but something has. And it’s not that I don’t like it, I do. I’m just…a little caught off-guard.”

  I place my hands on her face and hold her in place, running my thumb over her bottom lip. “Baby, I don’t know what it is, but lately, I’ve been feeling so damn alive. I can’t help it. Like all I want to do is feel alive with you. And part of feeling this alive is getting you completely naked and fucking you six ways from Sunday.”

  She swallows, nodding, her eyes searching mine, looking sweet. “Lately? Or just the last twenty-four hours?”

  Okay, she has me there.

  “Dex,” she says patiently. “I know you like I know the back of my hand. I’ve watched you through these years. I know how you were when we were doing the show, I know how you were after. You have always been easily excitable, even on medication, but I haven’t felt…this,” she gestures with her hand at me in a circle, “I haven’t felt this in a long time. And I know it’s less about the money now, less about the excitement of how that will change our lives, and more about fucking around with the dead. In fact, if Harry called and told you he wouldn’t be able to pay us tonight as planned, you’d probably still want to do it for free. Wouldn’t you?”

  I don’t have to say anything. She knows.

  “And that’s fine,” she goes on. “I get it. I know you. I wouldn’t expect anything less. But it’s all connected.”

  “Are you saying that dealing with the supernatural, or just the thought of it, is turning me into raging horndog?”

  She laughs, her eyes crinkling at the corners. Such a beautiful face.

  “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. I feel like I’m dealing with the old you. And that’s not a bad thing, but that’s what’s happening. You’ve got so much fucking adrenaline in your system that it has nowhere else to go.”

  I know Perry is right about all of that, but I also know that it goes a few layers deeper too. It was what I was thinking last night. That this is about establishing a connection between us before we need it the most.

  I just refuse to let myself think about why we need it the most.

  “And look,” she goes on, wrapping her hands around my neck and staring up at me, “I don’t want you to think you can’t have me when you want me. You can. Believe me, I’m…well, let’s just say I welcome it. Part of me is feeling this too. But I just need a little time to adjust. So until then, just keep it in your pants, okay?”

  She gives me a teasing smile and then reaches down, pressing her palm against my erection, eliciting a groan from my mouth.

  “That’s not fair.” I practically whimper, grinding against her hand. “You play a dirty game, Perry Foray.”

  The apartment buzzer goes off.

  She looks at me triumphantly. “Told you they’d be here.”

  She gives me one last hard squeeze and then heads over to the buzzer.

  She’s right, but that doesn’t mean my hard-on is disappearing anytime soon.

  That is, until she opens the door and Ada and Jay walk in. One look at that wankhammer and I completely deflate.

  “Surprise!” Ada calls out, lifting Target shopping bags high in the air.

  “What now?” I grumble.

  She looks up at Jay with a mischievous smile, but I swear the big redhead looks pained. “I got us Halloween costumes!”

  “You did what?”

  “It’s Halloween, you guys,” she says, looking at us like we’re totally out of touch. “And so, I got us costumes. Obviously.”

  I cross my arms, feeling mildly amused. “Ada, what do you think is going to happen tonight? This isn’t a Halloween party. We’re not going trick-or-treating.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she says, plopping the bags on the counter and rummaging through them. “You guys are in such weird moods, I thought I w
ould lighten things up. This can be fun, you know.”

  “We’re not in weird moods,” Perry protests.

  Ada glances at her through her blonde hair that’s fallen over her eyes. “Uh huh. You keep telling yourselves that.” She jerks a thumb at me. “This guy over here, well, let’s just say I’m glad I can’t hear what he’s thinking.” Her eyes go to Perry. “And you, well you’re putting up your tough front, but I know how scared you are about doing this.”

  Don’t let her, don’t let her.

  I close my eyes, trying to bury those words, almost as if I’m hearing Ingrid say them herself.

  “Dex?” Jay asks.

  My eyes pop open to see him staring at me, brow furrowed.

  “Yes, what?” I say, trying to play it off.

  Except, shit. What if what Ingrid was telling Daniel really was about tonight?

  Oh god, I’ve never done well with conflicting feelings.

  On one hand, we need the money, and I want, need, this to happen.

  On the other hand, maybe it’s a bad idea.

  Maybe it’s a really bad idea.

  I clear my throat. Everyone is already looking at me. “Jay,” I say to him. “Since we’re all here talking, relatively safe, haven’t fully committed to anything we can’t back out of…I’m going to need some supernatural reassurance from you.”

  His brow raises. “What do you mean?”

  “Ever since I told you about this…have you had any pushback? Any bad feelings? Any voices from the other side telling you that it’s a bad idea?”

  He shakes his head. “No.”

  That should make me feel better, but…

  “You still haven’t told Jacob,” I point out.

  “He hasn’t been around,” he says, eyes narrowing for a moment.

  “But would you if he hadn’t gone off to close some demon portal?”

  “He’s doing what now?” Perry interjects.

  Jay ignores her. Wiggles his jaw. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he gets too involved,” Ada says quickly. “Now don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.”

  I raise my hands. “I wouldn’t be a very good man if I didn’t. I just want to make sure that we’re all one hundred percent on board and that none of us have any doubts. Or warnings that you’ve brushed off. Each and every one of us are tapped into something bigger than us, the unknown, the Veil. Whatever you want to call it. We each have some sort of ability or, fuck, affliction, when it comes to dealing with the dead. Obviously some of us here aren’t even mortal or human. I won’t mention names. But I think if we’re going to be successful tonight, and safe, we all need to be honest.”