by Megan Hart
Bess had no doubt all of those wishes were going to be true, but his mouth on hers prevented her from answering with anything but a groan. Nick’s tongue swept inside her mouth over and over, arousing her mercilessly.
“You know what I love most off all?” she asked when he at last pulled away to let her breathe.
His hands roamed her body, tugging at her panties. “What?”
“Kissing you.”
He stopped moving and looked into her eyes. Then he kissed her again with a soft brush of lip on lip that promised more. When she opened for him, he gave it. Nick made love to her mouth until her head spun.
“Like that?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He smiled and hooked his thumbs into her panties and eased them off her ass and down her thighs so she was bare. His hand moved between her legs and found her clit. She jumped a little when he rubbed it.
“I know what else you like, too,” he said, and then, caught up in the intensity and ecstasy of their lovemaking, Bess forgot everything else.
She was late leaving, which meant she was late getting to the house she’d shared with Andy for the past thirteen years. As she pulled into the driveway, Bess’s heart thundered in her ears. She had to forcibly uncurl her fingers from the steering wheel, and getting out of the car left her so light-headed she had to close her eyes lest she faint.
“Mom!”
She blinked and pasted on a smile as Robbie barreled out the front door. He was too old to hug her now, but he danced in front of her the way he had since toddlerhood, bursting with something important to tell her. “Hi, honey.”
Robbie reached into the backseat to grab her suitcase without being asked, and that small gesture shot fierce pride through her. He slung the strap over his shoulder and followed her toward the front door. He’d grown even in the few short weeks she’d been gone, and Bess’s heart ached afresh for the dissolution of their family.
“I’m pretty sure I aced all my finals,” Robbie was saying as she opened the front door.
Inside, the house no longer even smelled familiar. Robbie dropped her suitcase on the floor by the door and Bess picked it up to set it by the stairs. Her son, still talking, was already heading down the long hall toward the kitchen, and Bess followed because she could think of no other place to go.
Bags of chips and pretzels, hot dog and hamburger buns and jars of pickles and dips covered every inch of counter space. Bess sighed, but at least Andy had bought the food for Connor’s graduation party the next day. They planned to have it out back, by the pool, and had hired a disc jockey to come. The yard would be overflowing with friends and family, and with any luck, Bess wouldn’t have to talk to Andy at all.
“Where’s your dad?”
Robbie, waist-deep in the fridge, pulled out a long, wrapped submarine sandwich. He set it on the counter and took out a knife from the drawer. “Oh…working?”
On a Friday night? Not likely. “How about your brother?”
“Oh.” Robbie shrugged. “He’s out with Kent and Rick and those guys.”
“Ah.” Bess tried not to feel stung that Connor hadn’t stayed home to hang out with her. “You don’t have any big plans for tonight?”
Robbie held up the huge hunk of sandwich he’d cut for himself. “This and the entire first season of The X-Files. You up for it?”
She hadn’t eaten since breakfast that morning and her mouth watered at the sight of thick slices of turkey and salami and the smell of the sub dressing. “Yeah. Cut me a piece.”
She grabbed one of the bags of chips and tore it open, putting handfuls on their plates. She and Robbie ate in the den in front of Andy’s big-screen TV, polishing off half the huge sub and most of the bag of chips between them, along with a two-liter bottle of soda and a pint of ice cream. Robbie went to bed at midnight, with Andy and Connor still not home, and Bess puttered around the kitchen, cleaning up crumbs and scrubbing nonexistent dirt.
The kitchen remodel had been Andy’s idea, though he’d said it was for her. When they’d added the in-ground pool in the back, Andy wanted sliding-glass doors to the backyard. That had meant ripping out most of the counter space along the rear wall. The project had snowballed, and now the kitchen gleamed with marble counters and every appliance anyone could possibly desire, plus a few Bess had never even used. She wouldn’t miss it, not any of it, and this more than anything else brought the tears.
She swiped them away quickly enough when she heard the front door open and close, and the slow, steady footprints of someone coming down the hall. She braced herself to face her husband, but it was Connor who swerved into the kitchen and went immediately to the cupboard for a glass he filled with water from the sink.
“Hey, honey,” Bess said.
Connor gulped down water and wouldn’t look at her. “Hey, Mom.”
“Are you all ready for tomorrow? It’s late.” She glanced at the clock. Connor hadn’t had a curfew for the past year or so, because he hadn’t needed to be told when to come home. Now it was after one in the morning.
“It’s just a stupid ceremony. We don’t even really get our diplomas.” He set the glass in the sink and turned as if to go.
“Connor.”
He stopped in the doorway, finally, and looked at her. There was no mistaking his red eyes or too-careful gait for anything else. The question was, should she address it?
“Did you have fun tonight?”
He nodded.
“Listen, Connor…”
He held up a hand. “Mom, spare the lecture, okay? I just want to crash so I’m not dead tomorrow morning.”
“What were you doing, out so late? I was worried.”
Connor’s glance flickered. “I’m fine.”
“I can see that.” She crossed her arms.
“Why don’t you worry about Dad, if you want to worry about something? He’s not home, either.”
“Your dad is an adult—”
Connor snorted loudly, and with unmistakable derision. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Go to bed, Connor,” Bess said sternly. “Sleep it off.”
She waited until he’d left before she went into the den to make herself a bed on the couch, but though she waited up for what seemed like forever, she didn’t hear Andy come home.
Whatever Connor had been doing the night before, he was up and in the shower when Bess finally trudged up the stairs to her bedroom so she could sneak into her own shower before either of the boys found her on the couch. They knew she and Andy were separating, but she hadn’t told them it was going to be permanent. She didn’t want to ruin Connor’s party…or their summer.
Andy, with damp hair and a towel around his waist, stood shaving in front of the mirror. He looked over at her when she came halfway through the door and stopped as though she were stuck. Then he looked back to the mirror.
“Sleep well?”
Bess glanced over her shoulder at the bed, which didn’t look as though it had been slept in at all. “Fine.”
Andy wiped his face clean of foam and splashed himself with cologne. Bess edged past him and rummaged for a clean towel. She took her time because though she’d been naked in front of Andy hundreds of times, she didn’t want to get naked in front of him now. Thankfully, he left before she had to. Maybe he didn’t want her to be naked in front of him, either.
The graduation ceremony was longer than it had to be, but years of attending school plays and concerts had prepared Bess for that. Robbie sat between her and Andy, and instead of sighing over yet another speech, Bess soaked in every moment. It would probably be one of the last times they ever spend together like this. As a family.
Nobody else seemed to notice that Bess felt out of place in her own backyard. Unbeknownst to her, Andy had hired a caterer to come in to cook the hot dogs and burgers and do all the serving and cleaning up. Bess tried to assume he’d been trying to be thoughtful, but without the usual tasks of fetching food and washing dishes, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself
.
They’d sent out so many invitations she’d lost track of how many people to expect, but as more and more guests poured into the backyard, dived into the pool and overflowed into the kitchen, Bess didn’t feel overwhelmed. Again, this would be the last time they’d all be together like this. After today, things were going to change.
Bess hadn’t ever been good with change. She’d never been good with taking leaps of faith, or risks or chances. When something worked, she tended to stick with it.
Even when something didn’t.
“Hey, Bess!” Ben, Bess’s second cousin on her dad’s side, waved at her from the table holding the cake. “Great party! My mom and dad are over there.”
He pointed, and Bess waved. Relations had been a little strained among some of the family members when her grandparents had been deciding what to do about the beach house, but her cousin Danielle and her family had never made things awkward.
“You’ll have to come down sometime this summer,” she told Ben. “The way you used to.”
He laughed, a tall, broad-shouldered man who looked a lot like her grandpa. She still remembered him as a little boy with chocolate on his cheeks. “If I can get some time off work, sure. Thanks.”
Bess waved at him again as he headed off through the crowd with his cake. She checked automatically to see if she needed to cut more, but the caterer was already on it. Ditto for the napkins and plasticware.
“Don’t look so worried. Everyone’s having a great time.”
Bess turned and broke into a broad smile at the sight of the familiar face. “Joe!”
The man beside her could have stepped off the cover of a men’s fashion magazine. He should’ve looked overdressed compared to the rest of the crowd, but something about his clothes suited him so perfectly Bess couldn’t have imagined him in denim shorts and a T-shirt with Kiss the Cook on it. Joe and Andy had worked together before Bess and Andy were married, but though the men had eventually ended up at different law firms, they’d always kept in touch. Joe had been to the boys’ christenings and birthdays for years, so it was no surprise seeing him now. Yet tears sparked behind Bess’s eyes at the sight of his smile, anyway.
“Little Connor all grown up,” Joe said mildly. “I see he towers over you and has a bevy of giggling beauties at his beck and call.”
“Yes. That’s Connor.” Bess laughed, some of her melancholy fading. Joe grinned, his gaze flickering past Bess to a woman standing by the pool. Bess, watching him, smiled, too. “How’s married life treating you?”
Joe’s smile got wider. “Can’t complain.”
“Lucky you.” Bess looked automatically for Andy, though she couldn’t see him.
This time, Joe didn’t look away. “Hey, Bess, about that…”
She waved a hand. “Hush. It’s not your problem.”
Joe’s brow furrowed. “Yeah, I know. But…”
“I said hush,” Bess repeated. “You’re Andy’s friend. I don’t expect you to take sides. Besides, it’s for the best.”
Joe nodded. “How are the boys?”
Bess looked toward the pool, where Robbie and Connor, on opposing teams, played water volleyball. “I hope they’ll be fine, but really…how can I expect them to be fine when I’m changing everything they’ve ever known?”
“Bess.” Joe’s voice, low and firm, was as welcome as the pressure of his fingers on her shoulder. “Kids are resilient, and believe me, it’s better they learn how to make a relationship work rather than watch one that’s broken. Better for you, too.”
Bess caught sight of Andy at last. He was talking to a woman by the buffet table. Bess didn’t recognize her, but she didn’t have to. She turned, her stomach sinking.
“Thanks, Joe.” Her voice gave no indication of the turmoil within, but Joe’s gaze followed the path hers had taken.
He squeezed her shoulder again as the woman he’d married arrived with two drinks. Bess had met Sadie only once before, at their wedding. She didn’t have the strength for small talk, so she excused herself on the pretense of checking something in the house. In the kitchen, Andy’s kitchen, she wove through the throng and went upstairs to her bedroom, where she lifted the phone and dialed an almost-forgotten number.
She closed her eyes, picturing the beach house. The outdated yellow phone with its stretched-out cord, ringing and ringing. Nobody answered.
Finally, she hung up. She tensed at the sound of soft voices in the hall, and went to the bedroom door, meaning to close it. Through the crack she saw Andy and the woman standing in front of one of the multi-photo frames Bess had filled with snapshots over the years. Andy was pointing out different pictures of Connor and Robbie, and his companion listened intently.
They weren’t touching, but they didn’t have to. Bess closed the bedroom door with a subtle click she knew they’d have to hear, and waited. It took Andy only half a minute to come in.
“Bess—”
She said nothing, and he stopped himself. Andy closed the door tight behind him and approached where she sat on the end of the bed. When she didn’t move, even to flinch, he stopped moving as abruptly as he’d stopped speaking.
She stared at him, the man she’d married with the best intentions. Andy stared back. Time had been harder on him than it had been on her, though she shouldn’t have been pleased to notice. Andy’s hair had begun to thin and his waistband expand, but he was still a good-looking man.
“So,” she said. “We’ll be leaving when the party’s over.”
“You don’t have to. You know you can stay overnight. Get an early start.”
“No. I think I want to go. It only takes four hours. The boys want to get there, too. I asked them.”
Andy nodded slowly. “Bess, listen…”
She waited, but he trailed off and shifted uncomfortably. “Don’t, Andy. Okay? Just…don’t. We don’t need to go over old ground.”
“Just like that?” he asked, harsher than she expected. “You’re done?”
“Aren’t you?” This was harder than telling him she was leaving had been.
Andy sighed, mouth pursed in the expression she’d always hated because it made him look so old, and Bess gave him the courtesy of looking away so she wouldn’t have to see him that way.
“I don’t want you to think I’m not willing to try, that’s all.”
“We’ve tried,” she said.
“But we could try again.”
Once, his smile had meant everything to her. She’d believed him when he’d said it would all work out, it would be all right. For a long time it had been…and for a long time, it had not.
“Let me ask you something,” Bess said, her voice clear and without tremor. “Do you love her?”
Andy coughed. “Who?”
“Don’t insult me. Or her. Do you love her?”
His refusal to answer was more than enough reply for Bess, but she didn’t get up. She looked at him, though, her expression effortlessly smooth. “You’ll be all right, Andy.”
“That’s a trite answer!”
“It’s a true answer. You’ll be all right.” She got up then, though there was still a lot of distance between them. “And now you have the chance to find something really wonderful. Don’t throw it away.”
“Like I did with you?” His wry response twisted his mouth, and the honesty in it surprised her.
She gave him honesty, too. “I’ll never regret marrying you, Andy, because we have two beautiful sons I love more than anything in this world. But I think it’s time to stop fooling ourselves.”
“Let me ask you something, Bess.”
She waited patiently for him to say what he needed to say.
“Was it all a mistake?”
“No, Andy,” she whispered, at last losing her composure. “It wasn’t a mistake.”
When he hugged her, Bess didn’t have to fight so hard to hold on to every sensation. She wouldn’t ever forget how it felt to be in his arms that one last time.
CHAPTER 2
8
Then
“He’s not here, Bess.”
Bess ground her teeth in frustration. “Where is he, Matt?”
“He’s out.”
“With her?” Bess tapped her fingers on the counter, then twisted the phone cord in her hands.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Matty said.
She sighed and contemplated anger, but to her surprise, the frustration seeped out of her and left behind only a sense of relief. “Can you leave him a message?”
Andy’s brother paused, then sighed. “Yeah, sure. Let me get a pen.”
“You don’t need a pen,” Bess said.
Matty made a soft, low noise. “I’m really sorry, Bess.”
“It’s not your fault.” She closed her eyes and slumped a little. “Just tell him…goodbye.”
“That’s it?”
“If he doesn’t get it,” she said, her voice a bit bitter, “maybe you can explain it to him.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Matty sighed again. “For what it’s worth, I think he’s being a real jerk.”
Bess smiled at this. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
She put the phone back in its cradle. She waited for tears, but like the anger, they’d fled. She looked up to see her aunt Trish paused in the doorway.
“Bess, you have a friend here to see you.”
Her aunt’s expression left no doubt that it was a friend of the male persuasion. Her heart leaped. Nick? Here? “Thanks.”
Eddie waited for her on the deck. If the scrutiny of her family unnerved him, he didn’t show it by shuffling or ducking his head, but when Bess appeared at the sliding-glass doors his cheeks flushed. “Hi, Bess.”
“Eddie?” Bess carefully didn’t meet the curious gazes of her family. “Is everything okay?”
“Sure, it’s okay.”
Some sort of explanation seemed necessary. “Eddie works with me at Sugarland.”
That seemed to satisfy everyone. Eddie smiled. Bess smiled, too, still not sure why he was there.
“I was taking a walk,” he said. “And I thought I’d stop by to say hi.”
