She lifted the baby and wasn’t surprised to see the dampness had leaked through to her own cotton pants.
Tori grinned.
“You think that’s funny, do you?”
She flashed another toothless grin. Eve fought the connection she felt toward this tiny human being with her soft curls, slobbery grins and smelly diapers.
A light rap on her bedroom door drew her attention away from Miss Stinky Pants. “Yeah?”
“It’s Kylie.”
“Just in the nick of time. Come in, I’m up.”
The door opened and Kylie stepped in, her gaze sliding over Eve to focus on Tori. Eve immediately felt guilty because as much as she didn’t want to be the person responsible for the little girl in her arms, Kylie did want the responsibility of babies. Afghanistan had taken Eve’s ability to walk and Kylie’s ability to have babies of her own.
Kylie would be the last to lament her situation. Especially now. She had Andy and Maggie, Carson’s children from his previous marriage. They’d even finalized adoption so that she was legally their mommy.
They were also licensed foster parents, agreeing to love the children God placed in their home. Love them and be willing to let them go. That part would always be painful.
“Why are you holding her like that?” Kylie rushed forward and took the baby.
Her nose wrinkled as she took Tori into her arms.
“I guess no explanation required?” Eve grinned up at her friend.
“None whatsoever. I’ll carry her to the living room but you’re changing this.” Kylie walked out of the room.
“I need to change,” Eve called after her friend.
“Quickly!” Kylie yelled back.
“Yeah, because it’s easy,” Eve grumbled as she headed for the closet.
She found a comfy pair of loose cotton pants. In five minutes she had dry clothes again. She hoped that wouldn’t be something she had to do often.
No, of course it wouldn’t happen often. Ethan would leave and take Tori with him. As soon as he was healthy and able, he had to go.
“Do you know how Ethan is feeling?” Eve called out as she pulled on the gloves that served several purposes—they kept her hands clean because wheels were dirty, and they kept her hands from becoming sore, blistered and overly calloused.
After pulling her hair into a ponytail, she headed down the wide hallway to the living room. She could smell coffee and something sweet. It had to be sweet. Maybe Sierra had muffins in the oven. She was blessed with a roommate who enjoyed cooking. If not for Sierra and the occasional meal at the main house, Eve would mostly survive on PB&J sandwiches.
“Maria took him coffee and toast, and he seemed better but staying in his room.” Kylie smiled. “Carson said he needs to stay away from everyone for at least another twenty-four hours.”
“Twenty-four hours is a long time.” Eve took Tori from her friend. She settled the baby on the mat she’d placed on her desk and managed a somewhat sloppy change of diaper.
“You’re getting to be an expert.”
“A half dozen diapers does not make me an expert.” She didn’t want to be the expert at changing diapers, nighttime feedings or cuddling with Tori. She didn’t want to get attached, only to have Ethan realize she’d been right to end their engagement. “Speaking of, where is Cara?”
“With her mom.”
Eve moved Tori from the desk to her lap. The activity gave Kylie a moment to get her emotions under control.
“How’s her mother doing?” Eve asked as she wrapped the sling around Tori.
Kylie headed for the kitchen, her back stiff. But Eve heard a sniffle. She followed her friend, stopping once to adjust the baby in her pouch. It caused some maneuverability issues, having an almost twenty-pound baby on her lap.
“She’s good, actually. And don’t worry, I’m good. The goal is reunification. I knew that going in, and I had the plan that I would give this baby the love she needs while her mommy works through her issues. Glory is a sweet kid. She’s only eighteen and she’s had a rough life but she wants to do better.”
“She should start by not doing drugs while...”
Kylie raised her hand. “Don’t. That isn’t fair. You don’t know her story.”
Eve dropped a kiss on Tori’s head tucked neatly beneath her chin. “I know and I’m sorry.”
“I want Cara to have her mom. If it means helping Glory get her life together, then that’s what Carson and I are prepared to do.”
“Uh-oh. What are the two of you plotting?”
“Jack is giving her a job on the ranch, helping with the wedding chapel.”
Eve laughed. “Sierra is going to love you.”
“Right?” Kylie grinned, her mood lifting. “And Cara will be able to see her mom. It isn’t that Glory is a bad person. She just doesn’t know a better way.”
“She’s lucky to have the two of you,” Eve said.
“It isn’t luck, it’s God. He’s given us so much and if we can help Cara and Glory have a better life, that’s what we have to do.”
“I love you, Kylie West. I don’t know what I’d do without your friendship and your faith to keep me moving forward. Today especially.”
“Is it hard, having him here?” Kylie asked as she set a cup of coffee on a nearby table. “I mean, I know it is. This whole situation is difficult and I’m sorry.”
“It’s...” She looked down at the smiling baby with her clean diaper. “It’s unexpected. And it’s painful.”
“You know, if you opened up...” Kylie’s gentle, therapist voice trailed off.
“Don’t. I know all about the lines of communication, and I realize now that I’ve really messed up. I should have taken your advice. I don’t know if I was trying to protect them or myself, but it’s pretty obvious I’ve done a decent job of hurting the people I care about.”
“It can be fixed.”
She shook her head at that. “No, it can’t. Not really. It can be mended but not fixed. I just have to figure out where to start.”
“It won’t be easy but you have to know, you’re in a better place now than you were four years ago.”
“You’re right. Emotionally I am in a better place. Even physically. I’m stronger, more sure of myself.”
Kylie put a plate of muffins on the table. “I hope Sierra didn’t mean these for someone special. They’re delicious.”
“What about the baby?” Eve pulled off her gloves and shoved them in the pouch on the back of her chair. “I’m assuming she has to be fed?”
“You assumed correctly.”
Kylie didn’t give her a break. She grabbed the handles of the chair and pushed Eve away from the table just as she made a move for a muffin.
“What are you doing?” Eve glanced back at the sugar topped muffins.
“Baby eats first, Mommy.”
“I’m not her mommy. Her mommy was Hanna.”
Kylie’s hand rested on Eve’s shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry.
“This stinks.”
“I know it does.”
“I wish there were easy answers.” Eve glanced back at her friend. “You know how I like to jump into things and make spur-of-the-moment decisions.”
“Like ending an engagement?”
“Today is about Tori. I can’t make a spur-of-the-moment decision regarding this baby. She deserves better.”
“Let me show you how to make oatmeal.” Kylie pushed her up to the counter. “I brought baby oatmeal, some fruit and the stuff that Ethan had in his truck. It’s all here on top of the counter.”
Eve nodded, not knowing what else to say. If only life could be lined up the way Kylie lined up ingredients for a perfect, healthy breakfast. If only Eve knew all of the right answers, the right choices to make. But she didn’t, so she did the only thing she knew
to do. She followed directions and made breakfast for Tori.
* * *
Voices raised in a heated discussion greeted Ethan as he made his way downstairs. He’d been in isolation since Tuesday, agreeing with Carson West, Jack’s physician son, that it would be best if he waited until Thursday before venturing around others. No need to make Tori or any of the other ranch inhabitants sick. Not that he’d really met the others. He’d seen Jack and met Isaac and Carson, as well as Sierra.
“I’m telling you, Jack, I’m not a wedding planner or a caterer.”
If Ethan had to guess, that very upset voice belonged to Sierra. The chuckle that came afterward probably was Jack’s.
“Oh, Sierra, you’re always so quick to doubt yourself,” Jack responded. “I have more confidence in you than you’ve got in yourself.”
“That’s because you believe the best of everyone.” Sierra’s tone softened.
Ethan thought he should probably make himself known. He walked a little heavier, hoping they would hear him as he descended the stairs.
“That must be our patient.” Jack’s voice carried up the stairs.
“That must be my cue to leave,” Sierra returned.
But she didn’t leave. She was sitting at the kitchen island with a cup between her hands and a furrowed brow as if she had a million things on her mind.
“It looks as if I spared you all the plague,” Ethan quipped as he entered the kitchen. “Jack, thank you for opening your home to me.”
Jack waved off his thanks. He turned so that he could see both Ethan and Sierra.
“It’s a pleasure having you here, Ethan.” Jack nodded toward the coffeepot, his head jerking just a fraction as he made the gesture. “Help yourself to some coffee. And also to that room for as long as you need it.”
“I appreciate that.” Ethan headed for the coffeepot. “I’m also grateful for the coffee.”
“Will you be staying around?” Sierra asked as she stood and carried her cup to the sink.
“I’m probably going to be in the area for a while. My family is starting a new farm implement business on the outskirts of Tulsa. I’ll be managing it for the time being.”
“Oh, so you’ll be living in the area, then?” Sierra asked, a merry glint in her eyes.
“No. I’ll get the business off the ground and then we’ll hire a general manager.”
“Leave him be, Sierra,” Jack warned. “I only have four children but sometimes I feel like I have dozens.”
Sierra’s expression softened. She gave Jack an affectionate hug on her way out. “You do have dozens of children. And we all love you.”
“Most of the time they love me.”
“I love you all of the time,” Sierra responded. “But I disagree with you often.”
He waved her off and she left.
“Have a seat,” Jack offered. “There are fixings for breakfast burritos in the warmers on the counter over there. During the week we keep things casual. Maria cooks up a meal and keeps it heating in the warmers. On weekends we have a big breakfast and whoever is available joins us. A few times a week we have what we refer to as family dinners. But you grew up on a working ranch, didn’t you?”
“Yes, we have about a thousand acres. We still work cattle and raise horses but my mom also started a guesthouse on the ranch.”
“A dude ranch?” Jack asked.
“No, more of a country bed-and-breakfast. It’s an updated farmhouse that sat on about ten acres that adjoined our property. When it came up for sale, my mom bought it, put a pool in the backyard and turned it into her dream business.”
“Now that’s an idea I hadn’t thought of. With this wedding venue, I wonder if I should consider a guesthouse for people who need a place to stay before or after the wedding.”
“It’s something to consider.”
Jack arched a brow and a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. “I can’t wait to tell Sierra about your idea.”
“Oh, please don’t use my name. She’s already positive I contaminated the entire ranch.”
Jack looked forlornly into his empty coffee cup.
“Want me to get you another?” Ethan offered.
“Nah, I’ve had my cup for the day. Carson says I’m not allowed to drink too much caffeine. You know, as a man ages, he ought to be able to have what he wants.”
“It would seem that way,” Ethan agreed.
“Well, anyway, no use lamenting what we can’t change. I guess we have other things to discuss. Like if you’re planning to take Eve away from us.”
Ethan hadn’t expected the question, and he definitely hadn’t planned an answer. He sat there for a long moment trying to decide the best way to respond.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I kind of flew off the handle when I found out she was living here. I loaded Tori up in the car and headed this way without much of a plan.”
“I can see how you might have been upset with her.” Jack picked up the empty cup again. “But you gotta remember, it’s a difficult thing, coming back from a war.”
Ethan hadn’t really thought about Eve’s time in Afghanistan, what she’d seen, experienced, or what had led to her injury. It was as if she had lived a whole other life he knew nothing about. In truth, he didn’t really know her anymore. He only knew that she’d been determined to serve her country and she’d done so against her parents’ wishes.
“I’m sure it is difficult,” he responded to Jack’s statement about the war.
“Yes, to say the least. War changes a person. Takes away your innocence. It opens your eyes to the frailties of life. It exposes you to the very worst of humanity.” Jack paused for a moment, as if searching for answers. “It also introduces you to the best of humanity and teaches you your own strengths and weaknesses.”
Eve. Ethan had no doubt that Jack was giving him insight without really mentioning what had happened to her.
“Jack, are you sure you wouldn’t mind if I stay here for a while? I wouldn’t mind paying for room and board. But I feel like Eve needs time to get to know Tori before she can make a decision.”
“Of course you can stay here. The bedroom you’ve been using is yours for as long as you need it. As for Eve, she can be stubborn. I hope for the sake of that little girl that the two of you can come to some kind of understanding.”
“Me, too.” But he didn’t know what was meant to happen or how this would all turn out.
They couldn’t go backward in time, to what they had once meant to each other. But now they had Tori and a court date less than six weeks away.
He heard a low rumble on the ramp outside and then voices raised in animated discussion. Jack pushed the coffee cup to the far side of the counter, giving Ethan a conspiratorial wink as he did. The too-innocent look on the older man’s face had Ethan wondering if maybe he wasn’t supposed to have even one cup of coffee.
The door opened and Eve zoomed in followed by Sierra. Tori was sitting on Eve’s lap, the band of fabric from the baby sling holding her in place.
“You survived,” Eve said. Tori bounced on her lap, holding out her arms to Ethan. “And look who missed you. She’s probably ready to head back to Texas.”
No beating around the bush for Eve. Then he’d be straight with her, too.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Her eyes widened as she pushed her chair closer. “What?”
“Jack said I could stay here as long as needed. Between the new dealership and this situation with Tori, it will help if I’m close at hand.”
“Close at hand?” She shook her head. “Ethan, I can’t do this.”
“I think you can, Eve.”
“But how? You said we have to go to court in six weeks. The judge wants us to come up with a stable environment to raise Tori in. I live here. You live in Texas. I’m not in a position to
be a mother.”
“You think I was in a position to be a dad?”
“I don’t know.” She hesitated. “You know Tori. You’ve had time with her.”
“Yes, I met her five times before that day I got a phone call from James’s dad telling me about the accident and letting me know that Tori was in a foster home. I made a decision to get her and figure out what was the best thing for her. The lawyer made everything very real and legal. I’m sorry that you didn’t have time to prepare for all this. We didn’t have time either.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just...” Eve looked down and he knew where her mind was going. She was thinking about her weaknesses rather than her many strengths. But he didn’t have the right to tell her what he thought. It’d been a long time since he’d had that right.
He knelt in front of her, aware that Sierra and Jack had left the room. “Look, I get it, we’re over. But for Tori’s sake, we have to figure something out. She deserves that, doesn’t she? We owe it to her and to our friends.”
“I know. I just...” She closed her eyes. “I’m afraid.”
Eve had never been afraid of anything. She’d chased after her dreams, conquered obstacles. He touched his forehead to hers, wishing that he could take her in his arms and comfort her.
“I get that you’re afraid, Eve. But I also know that you’re strong. And I’m asking you to give us a month of your life. Help us figure out a plan.”
“I’m not sure if I can do this.”
He didn’t argue with her but he thought he knew her better than she knew herself. Her arm circled Tori, protective, loving. Tori needed her. But maybe Eve had needed Tori, too.
And Ethan? He wasn’t going to admit what he wanted or needed from this relationship. She’d not only broken his heart, she’d broken his trust.
He wasn’t looking for another go-round of pain from the only woman he’d ever loved.
Chapter Five
“One month,” Eve said, looking down at the baby in her arms and avoiding the man in front of her. It wouldn’t be easy to keep her heart from connecting with Tori. And as much as she wanted to fight it, her heart was already linked to Ethan. He’d always been there, even though she thought she’d gotten over him.
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