He looked at me again and something in his gaze had the weight lifting from my chest. “I can respect that. I can’t imagine falling for someone and knowing no matter what you did, they would never fall for you.”
“Are we good?” I held my breath. His answer made the difference in not only our friendship, but possibly the future of the band.
“We’re good.”
I stood, ready to join the others in the living room, and was surprised when Jackson reached out a hand to me, pulling me into a quick bro hug. That one simple act proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he didn’t care about my sexuality. Any guy who did would keep their distance, probably afraid of what that might mean to me. It was honestly one thing I never understood. Straight men were able to keep themselves contained in a room full of beautiful women. Why wouldn’t I be able to keep my dick in my pants when surrounded by men? Whatever. Right now, that didn’t matter.
“Let’s go talk to your man.”
I chuckled. “You do realize you already know him, right?”
He stopped at the door. “Yes, but now I have a whole new set of questions, like what he sees in you.” He pushed it open and walked into the living room.
“Fucker,” I muttered under my breath as I followed him.
“I heard that,” he called over his shoulder.
Reagan’s eyes met mine the second I emerged from the kitchen. A brow lifted and I nodded, answering his unspoken question, are you okay? And really, I was. I took the seat next to Reagan on the smaller couch. My heart thundered in my chest when he reached over and intertwined our fingers. It had been the first time he’d initiated a connection when we were in the presence of others.
Monty clasped his hands together. “Let’s talk.”
“And what do you want to talk about?”
He threw his hands up in the air. “Umm…maybe the fact you’re not only gay but also have a boyfriend.”
“And…” I let my sentence linger in the air, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
“And, does that mean we’re going to see more of Reagan on the road with us?” He jerked his head to where Mari and Cole sat in the same position I left them. “We see plenty of Cole when he doesn’t have games.”
“No,” Reagan said at the same time I said, “Yes.”
My head snapped in his direction. “What do you mean no?”
“What do you mean yes?” he countered. “When you’re on the road, the paparazzi is everywhere. There’s no way we wouldn’t get caught unless you’re suddenly ready to come out of the closet to the world.”
“Wait,” Monty said. “You’re not coming out to everyone?”
I brought my attention back to him and shook my head. “No, I’m not.”
Heath spoke up. “And how do you expect to keep hiding that? Monty figured it out. You think others won’t?”
Jackson held his hands up. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t have a freaking clue.”
I knew Heath had a point. “We’ll just have to be careful.”
“Which means no ‘on the road’,” Reagan said.
Cole sat up in his seat, bringing Mari with him. “Why don’t you want everyone to know?”
I noticed Jackson and Monty looking at me with the same curiosity in their gazes. It was like they accepted it, so everyone else should. If only life worked that way.
“If people found out, it could affect the band. Places we were supposed to play might cancel. And we don’t think Reagan’s law firm will be very accepting either.”
Monty’s lip curled up at the corner. “Okay, a few small-minded bigots cancel. I wouldn’t want to play for them anyway. What about all the people who’d start listening to our stuff because of that?”
“Except, I don’t want to be the poster boy for gay musicians everywhere.”
“Oh please,” Monty scoffed. “There are plenty of artists who already claim that title.”
“And most of them aren’t a rock band. I have no idea how the crowd would react to the news, but it’s not something I’m willing to risk.”
“It shouldn’t have to be a risk,” Jackson argued. “You shouldn’t have to keep a very large part of you buried in the closet. It’s who you are. You get to embrace that as much as we do.”
“And I wish life were that simple.” I lifted Reagan’s hand to my lips. “One day I’ll be ready to tell the world. Right now everything is new for us, especially for Reagan. Give us time to wade through being a couple before we have to try and stay afloat in a tsunami.”
“Yeah, okay.” Monty nodded. “I don’t like it, but I can respect that.”
Jackson groaned. “I may not like it, but I get neither of you wanting to ruin your careers when they’re just starting.”
“Thank you. Now who’s hungry? Mari made chicken parm.”
“Fuck, yes.” Monty punched his fist in the air like a five-year-old finished the monkey bars on the playground. He jumped from his seat and practically ran to the kitchen. Mari and Cole were right behind him.
“He’ll eat everything if we don’t watch him,” she called over his shoulder.
“She’s got a point,” Jackson said on his way back to the kitchen.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Heath hanging back.
“Something you want to tell me?” I asked when the kitchen door closed behind Jackson.
“I just want to make sure you’re good.”
I glanced over at Reagan, and the smile he gave me set my blood on fire. To anyone else it looked sweet and devoted, but I knew better. The brazen tease who blew my mind and my cock earlier lurked just below the surface. “I’m better than good.”
“You better be,” Reagan whispered in my ear.
Heath smiled. “When you want to tell people is your choice, but I’m proud of you for coming clean today. That secret was kept entirely too long.”
“You’re right, it was. Someday the time will be right to tell the world and when it is I’ll be ready.”
“Good,” Heath said, walking into the kitchen, leaving Reagan and me alone.
Cupping my cheek, he brought my face to his. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“More than I have been in a long time.”
CHAPTER 26
Sawyer
I never imagined how free I’d feel by just having the band know. Now whenever we spent time with the band, outside of public situations, I could be myself and enjoy holding Reagan’s hand, sitting next to him, or placing a kiss on his lips. I never realized how much of myself I held back by keeping the secret. Good thing I managed to thank Reagan for helping me to see the light, multiple times a day. His dick in my mouth, my dick in his, or just a good old-fashioned hand job. There was something different about Reagan’s hand wrapped around my cock.
Of course my brain had traveled to places it couldn’t go tonight. Reagan had been given his very own case. Well, he still had someone overseeing the job he did, which meant he had to check in with his progress. That way if he was heading in the wrong direction, it could be corrected before the train derailed. It also meant, he was working late tonight, which left me home alone with my guitar. Well, not completely alone. Heath and Monty went to pick up pizza and beer while I worked through the notes on another song.
We’d gotten a call that the label wanted to release another single and with the reception of the last two, they wanted to include a PR tour, along with another possible full album release. We had more than enough songs for one album, but you could never have too many songs. Especially when the music and lyrics were flowing onto the page. Also better to have backups in case they didn’t like all the ones we presented to them.
This was the first song I’d written with Reagan as the muse that didn’t have depressing undertones. I jotted down the cord, when the door burst open.
I pointed at him with the pencil in my hand. “Jesus, Monty. If you damage the wall you’re paying for that shit.”
“They’re heavy.” He barely lifted a
case of beer in each hand.
“You’re full of shit. You just wanted to make a scene.”
He walked to the kitchen and glanced over his shoulder with a wink. “Maybe I did.”
Heath walked in the door. “Why the hell is the door—”
Monty stepped in from the kitchen area.
“Never mind. I forgot we had Mr. Attention with us tonight.”
Monty flopped on the couch next to me, making my pencil slide across the paper. “And don’t you forget it.”
“Ass.” I erased the extra marks and rewrote the line. Heath dropped the pizza boxes on the table.
“So why are you here anyway?” Monty lifted a bottle to his lips.
“Where else would I be? I live here, you dumbass.”
“I know you live here, dickhead. I’m wondering why you’re not with Reagan.”
I set the guitar down and sat farther back on the couch. “He got assigned a case, so he’s working late tonight.”
“That sucks. Well, not him getting assigned a case.”
“Nah, it’s what he’s been waiting for.”
“I got plates.” Heath stepped out of the kitchen holding napkins and paper plates.
“Thank fuck. I’m starving.” Heath narrowed his eyes at Monty.
“Your legs look like they work just fine. If you wanted pizza as soon as we got back, you could have gotten your own damn plates.” He handed me one, took one for himself, and tossed the rest of the stack at Monty’s head.
If the paper plates wouldn’t have separated as they flew through the air, I had a feeling Monty would have caught them with how quickly his hand shot up. Instead, he spent the next few minutes grumbling as he picked up all the plates.
I put a pizza on my plate and took the first bite when there was a light knock at the door. “Did you guys call Jackson or Mari?”
Heath shook his head. “Jackson has a date and Cole’s home.”
“Fair enough, but who the hell is here?” Expecting some door to door salesmen, I stood and yanked the door open, a frown on my face. The reality was so much better than the expectation.
Standing on the porch with a laptop bag on his shoulder was Reagan, his long, muscular legs encased in navy pants. The suit jacket fit perfectly over his shoulders. He’d already managed to ditch the tie and the top button of his shirt. My mouth watered at the sight before me. Reagan in jeans and a T-shirt was hot. Reagan in a three-piece suit exuded quiet intelligence and smooth sophistication.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were staying late at the office.” I took his hand, dragging him into the house and shutting the door behind him.
“I was bored being there all alone. You said you were staying in to song write. I figured there was no reason I couldn’t work on my laptop in the same room you were working.”
Gripping the back of his neck, I pulled his lips to mine. “I think that’s the best idea you had in weeks.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve had plenty of good ideas.” That was when he seemed to notice we weren’t alone in the room. He lifted his hand in a wave. “Hey, guys.”
“Evenin’, Reagan,” Heath said, while Monty mumbled something similar with half a piece of pizza in his mouth.
I leaned closer to Reagan’s ear. “As much as I love the way those pants hug your tight ass, do you want to grab a change of clothes from my room?”
“I’d love too.”
I turned to Monty and Heath. “Be right back.”
For a brief moment, I thought about a quick hookup in my room. I knew we’d be a while and I didn’t want Reagan to head to bed before I got to spend any real time together.
“Don’t even think about getting it on,” Monty warned. “You said we were going to write tonight and that’s what we’re going to do.”
“Like you need my help with that. You write most of the music anyway.”
“Yeah, but tonight I want company while doing it. Maybe you can sit in my lap.”
“Shut the fuck up and eat your pizza.”
I grumbled but led Reagan to my room. After I pulled out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, I sat down on the bed. If I couldn’t get my hands on him right then, I sure as hell planned to watch him change and see all that silky, smooth skin on display for me. Reagan began undoing the buttons on his shirt. One by one they popped free, revealing tan golden skin. I fisted my hand in the comforter to keep from going to him and touching every inch. Once I started touching I didn’t think I had enough self-control to stop.
Reagan’s heavy lidded gaze lifted from his task to mine. “My dick is hard, just from having you watch me undress.”
He ran a hand down the front of his pants to prove the point. Not that I couldn’t already see the outline of his cock for myself. I reached down to adjust my own aching shaft. Reagan took a step forward. Almost as if my ass was on fire, I leaped from the bed and backed up toward the door.
“Where are you going?” His voice sounded raspy.
“Unless you want an audience, this will need to wait until later.”
Reagan’s eyes darted toward the door and understanding dawned on his features. Monty would have no problem busting into the room to hurry us up so we could work on music. Even Reagan knew that by now. But I understood the ability to forget about everything else when he was around. It happened to me more often than not.
“Shit, I forgot they were here.”
I winked. “When you’re around, I always forget about other people.”
Reagan dropped his shirt to the floor. “Then I guess you better get back to work so I have time to play with you later.”
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stay in place. “That’s what you say to me right now? I’m ready to storm over there, rip all our clothes off, drop to my knees, and take you in my mouth, and you want to send me back to work.”
A sexy side smirk lifted the one corner of his lips. “If it means me getting my hands on you sooner, I’m all for you going back to work.” I crossed my arms over my chest, unable to believe my ears. “Then I can suck you until you can’t think.”
A shiver ran down my spine, making my body shudder. I stepped backward toward the door. “I think…I think it’s time for me to get back to work.”
“I think you’re right.”
I told myself not to look down, yet there was nothing to stop me from looking at Reagan, who was now pantless, palming his erection through his boxer briefs. “Fuck them. I need my lips on yours.” I walked purposefully toward Reagan. Desire made the brown of his irises darken, his erection clearly outline by the tight boxer briefs. Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I sank my fingers into his hair, tightening them a bit and pulling his head back. The second my lips touched his, I parted them with my tongue and sank it inside for a taste.
The same addictive flavor that was unique to Reagan burst across my tongue. I couldn’t help but align our bodies from head to toe. Our cocks grazed each other through the fabric. I started to lose myself in the kiss, backing Reagan up toward the bed when a voice rang out.
“You have thirty seconds to come out before I come and get you,” Monty called out.
We broke apart and I jumped out of Reagan’s reach.
No doubt he would.
Reagan shook his head, laughing. “You better get out there.”
I lifted both my hands up. “I’m going.”
I took a few more steps back, then turned and walked out of the room. With Monty already fired up, I braced myself for what would come out of his mouth when I reached the end of the hallway. And he didn’t disappoint in the least.
“I thought I was going to get to watch my first episode of gay porn.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Heath rubbed his temple with his thumb and forefinger.
I, on the other hand, knew better than to back down or ignore Monty when he was like that. He’d keep going until he got a reaction out of you. I walked over to my vacated seat. “And I’d be willing to bet I�
��d find you jerking off watching the two of us. We’re hot when we’re together.”
“Jesus, Sawyer.” I turned and found Reagan rolling his eyes at the end of the hall. “You guys keep this up and I’ll need to go work in the kitchen.”
My head lurched forward a bit. I reached for the back of my head where Heath had slapped me, the same as Monty. “What the hell was that for?”
“They’ll behave,” Heath promised.
Reagan looked skeptical but took his laptop out, along with a stack of folders, and sat on the recliner in the corner of the room. He opened his computer, watching me over the top of it. I was so focused on him I hadn’t realized Heath had spoken to me.
He gave a light shove to my shoulder. “Hey, dumbass.”
Turning my gaze away from Reagan, I glanced over at Heath. “Huh?”
He gestured with his chin in front of me. “How’re you gonna write music without a guitar?”
I wanted to smack myself in the head. There I was acting like a lovesick puppy. Okay, so maybe I was hopelessly in love with Reagan, but there was no reason for him to know that yet. One step at a time.
I picked up my guitar and for the next few hours I helped Monty work out the chords in a song he’d almost finished and started one of my own. The entire time I found my eyes, straying to Reagan and every once in a while I’d find him staring back for a second before looking back down at the work on his screen.
The shutting of a laptop drew my attention. Reagan was done with whatever work he’d brought home and was now watching us work. To say it make it hard to focus happened to be a huge understatement. Even across the room, I could feel the heat in his gaze. When I continued to hit the wrong cords, Monty set down the pencil in his hand.
“I think we’ve kept you away from your boy long enough.” Monty chuckled.
Heath collected the sheet music, while Monty and I packed up the guitars. Reagan was still lounging in the chair watching us. Or at least that’s what I thought he was doing at first glance. Not so much. His eyes tracked every movement I made.
Ride Me Page 18
