She gave me an are-you-serious look that I realized I deserved. “Melissa, are you talking about work right now?”
“Crap. Yes. I guess I was.” I fell back in bed. “Kayla…”
“Yeah?”
I felt my heartrate picking up as I said, “Let’s talk about this later. Tomorrow, or at least once we’re back. I… can I just…”
She blinked. “Can you just what?”
I took a deep breath, looked up into her eyes, and said, “Can I just kiss you again? I still like you no matter what we…”
She flushed, her lips parting gently, and she nodded. She sank down into bed next to me, lifted a hand up to my head, and I put my hand into her hair, trailing my fingers through to the tips, looking into her eyes and smiling.
“You’re so pretty,” I laughed breathlessly. “I can’t believe I get to kiss you.”
She puffed out her cheek. “Seriously? You could really have, like, any girl you want. I wouldn’t be surprised if straight girls would make an exception for you.”
I shifted closer to her, tangling my legs with hers, moving close enough I could feel her breath on my lips. “Even if that’s true, none of them have anything on you. You just speak to me. Like an orange candy dot.”
She laughed, finally a smile that reached her eyes. “I can’t believe you.”
I kissed her, and when I felt the soft touch of her lips yielding to mine, when I felt her hand on my neck, fingertips trailing slowly, and when I felt her smile into the kiss, I couldn’t help thinking life really was sweet.
Chapter 14
Kayla
I would have thought the talk we had would clear up my feelings, but instead it left me more mixed-up than ever before. Melissa did like me. And god, she was even better in those soft, tender kisses than in the ones where she pinned me to the wall and had her way with me.
But sure enough, I was more mixed up than ever. I liked her and she liked me, so why on earth couldn’t we date? It boggled my mind, but at the same time I did understand. I just didn’t want to. I was the ditzy owner of a failing candy shop. She was a multi-millionaire executive who barely had the time to breathe between putting out fires at her organization.
That was absolutely, one hundred percent how I was feeling when I woke up and saw Melissa sitting next to the bed, at a laptop with her back turned to me, going through emails and the scariest spreadsheet I’d ever seen. Her sister’s baby shower was later today and this was the time she’d explicitly gotten off work, and instead of spending time with her family or the girl in bed who really liked her, she was answering emails. I was blown away by her work ethic, but I could tell clear as day I didn’t fit into it.
I don’t know how long I was staring before she stopped, glancing back at me, and I flushed. “Good morning,” she said.
“I didn’t mean to stare. Sorry. Don’t let me interrupt you.”
“It’s not a problem,” she laughed, going back to the computer. “But I don’t think there’s anything interesting to see here. I should have gone through this yesterday, but…” She scratched her head. “Had something more important to do last night.”
I gulped. That was me, getting in the way of her work again. “Do you want me to bring you some coffee or something?” I said, standing up.
She smiled sweetly at me. “That would be wonderful. Thanks, Kayla.”
My heart did a full gymnastics routine in my chest. I wanted to wake up with Melissa like this all the time. “Yeah. Of course. You drink it black, right?”
“Oh, not the coffee here,” she laughed. “We only have cheap stuff here. Cream and sugar, please.”
I laughed and made for the door, but she stopped me, her hand on my wrist. I glanced back at her and stopped when I saw the look in her eyes. That look of something unsaid, the look that said without a single word that she wanted me. Like I wanted her.
She opened her mouth but closed it without saying anything, trailed her hand down along mine like she was going to let go but then held onto my hand instead. She licked her lips and kept staring wordlessly.
I don’t know which one of us moved. I think we did at the same time. Either way, the next moment, I was bent over and she leaned up out of the chair, and we kissed. Every time my lips found hers, there were fireworks going off inside me—I felt like I could have sung and danced there.
When she let go of my hand and pulled away, she was blushing, I think maybe for the first time since I met her. Like, seriously, properly blushing, the way I did about every fifteen seconds around her. “A little light on the sugar, please,” she said.
“You got it,” I said, feeling like I was flying as I slipped away out the door and down the stairs, to where I ran into Melissa’s mom in the kitchen.
She spotted me and had me in a crushing hug the next instant. “Oh, Kayla,” she said. “Good morning. Those are such cute pajamas. Do you want some coffee? Or tea?”
“I was actually getting some coffee for Melissa,” I said. “She’s working even now.”
Her face fell. “Oh… of course she is. Of course she is. Tell me at least she finds time for you.” She leaned back against the table island as I started the coffee maker.
“She does,” I said, my heart racing. Thinking back to the conversation last night. About being girlfriends for real. It left my heart aching and dancing at the same time. “But it is hard sometimes. Her company is having a crisis, so we always have a rough time finding time together… and I keep ending up feeling guilty.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Guilty? For spending time with your girlfriend?”
“I guess so,” I mumbled. “You know? She has to scratch these important things out of her calendar to meet me at all, and I keep feeling like I’m costing thousands every time. And I’m not that interesting. I just like being loud and eating candy.”
“Oh, please. I could tell the moment I saw you that you’re just right for Melissa. You have to stay close to her. Even if it costs the company a boatload of dollars, who cares about the company? She’s always sacrificing for it. It can sacrifice for her once in a while. And she needs someone like you to make her happy too.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s true. She loves the work she does. And she loves being successful. Just because she’s working hard doesn’t mean she’s not happy. And no one needs a partner to be happy, if they’re satisfied with the rest of their life.”
She scowled. “Are you going to tell me that woman, working so much she can barely take off to call her own mother, is happy with how things are right now?”
“I don’t know.” I spent a while standing there after saying it, watching the coffee pot finish filling up. “I think she’s… almost happy.”
“What do you mean, almost happy?”
I laughed as I took the pot out, filled up two cups and prepared the coffees. “You know?” I said, picking them up and turning back towards the door. “I don’t know yet. But I’m figuring it out.”
She just squinted, watching with her brows furrowed as I went, headed back upstairs and back in the bedroom, where I handed Melissa her coffee.
“You’re an absolute blessing,” she said, taking a long sip and closing her eyes. “It’s perfect. Or at least, as perfect as we can get here. Thanks.”
I sat down, looked at the look on her face, and realized it was probably as close to bliss as I’d seen on anybody.
Almost happy. I knew I was right when I said it. I just had to figure out what I meant.
“Of course,” I said. “I try my best.”
∞∞∞
The shower was a big, loud event, and those were usually my favorites, but today I didn’t want to go too far from Melissa’s side. We’d gone out to a park and set up around the gazebo, the weather as perfect as could be, at least thirty people all well-dressed and gathered around folding tables chatting over food and drink. Trisha and her husband were so put together I’d think they were getting married again, with a long white dress and a
tuxedo, and for a second I wondered what Melissa would wear to get married.
Everyone was dressed in soft, simple pastels, even Melissa, who had a white blouse and slacks with a baby-blue blazer, and god if she didn’t just look like springtime itself had become a beautiful lesbian woman who hung onto my arm. I could barely breathe looking at her. And then there was me, wearing a jumper skirt with tricolored stripes and printed tights, generally sticking out like a sore thumb, but, you know, I was used to it.
We made our way over to Trisha, who lit up at the sight of us. “Oh,” she said, a little too loudly for private conversation, “look at the two of you! I’ve never seen a more perfect couple!”
“What about us?” her husband said, a little quietly. She disregarded him.
“And you never will,” Melissa said, making my heart flutter. She presented the candy bag, the big collection of specialty candies she bought on that first day we met. “Here. It’s from us. I know you used to love fancy candy when we were younger.”
“Oh my god, getting with Kayla even made you better at buying gifts!” Trisha laughed wildly, taking the bag. “This is the best gift I’m going to get all day. Even if I really shouldn’t be going down on candy when I’m this pregnant.”
“I’ll keep it somewhere too high for you to reach,” her husband said, taking it. She pouted.
“I should thank you,” she muttered to him, and she turned back to us with her face lit up. “We’re going to have a dance later! I’m going to just stand still and turn slowly because it’s exhausting just to be on my feet these days, but it’s the principle of the thing. So you can show your adorable girlfriend off to everyone, Mel.”
I looked down, flushing hot. “I’m not any good at dancing,” I laughed awkwardly.
“Not true,” Melissa said, tugging me in closer. “I’ve seen you make some moves before.”
“Oh, of course you’re going to compliment me, you’re my…” I trailed off. Ugh. I couldn’t even say it. I was going to curl up and die of embarrassment. I was a terrible fake girlfriend, in more ways than one.
Still, we stayed around the edges of the party, Melissa going through friends and relatives like it was a checklist, introducing me to all of them. My head was spinning after number three and it only got more unbelievable as we went on. She was going to have the entire state of Georgia think we were girlfriends, and then we were going to fly back north and we’d have to just be friends again, because she didn’t think I fit in her life.
Eventually, we retreated to the gazebo, where Melissa apologized profusely, sat down, and got on her phone to respond to emails. I laughed and sat down next to her.
“You don’t need to apologize,” I said. “I can tell your work is important to you, and I want to support you.”
She stopped, lowered her phone and turned to me, her gaze studying me intently. “You know,” she said, and then there was a long pause before she dropped her voice and said, “It’s okay to be upset with me. We could have had something amazing. And I’m ruining it by doing this.”
I shuffled closer and put my arm around her waist. “You’re not ruining anything. This is who you are. I knew that when I developed feelings for you, Melissa.”
She continued studying me for the longest time, eventually saying, “You really don’t hold this against me?”
“I want you to do what feels right. And if that means making sure you’re achieving your professional dreams, then hey! You’re doing awesome.”
A smile tugged at her lips, and then in an instant, she leaned in and pecked me quickly on the lips. My heart jumped, and I felt like I could have just melted into the seat as she looked back to her phone.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have done that,” she said, her voice shaky.
I couldn’t help thinking I was really glad she’d done that.
We stayed in the gazebo until the dance, when the sun was getting low and everyone gathered around the center of the event setup. It really looked like everyone was a couple, and standing in the middle of all these couples dancing with my arm linked with Melissa’s, my heart went racing off into the stratosphere.
“I really don’t know how to dance like this,” I blurted. Melissa laughed, staring intently into my eyes, and that stupid sexy smirk was coming back.
“You’ll be just fine,” she said. “Follow my lead, and everything will work out.”
I wondered how exactly she meant that.
∞∞∞
When we got home, Melissa had a glow about her that I didn’t think I’d seen since we met. We all had another big family dinner, and thankfully the attention was taken off me and Melissa for today, everyone talking about Trisha and her husband instead.
I was still the center of attention for one person, though. Melissa kept glancing at me throughout the meal, looking at me like I was the whole world, and I kept feeling myself go weak in the legs every time I made eye contact.
Melissa still didn’t let me help clean up, so I huffed back up to the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed to text Alexa. Just asking about the shop. I tried to tell myself it was just that I knew Alexa had closed today and she had more recent updates, and not that I was avoiding Shay because I knew she’d talk about me and Melissa.
But unfortunately, the story was the same as always. Everything was going great except the lack of customers. And I didn’t know what I was supposed to do about that. Profits were still on the down down down, and with a scheduled rent hike at the end of the year, I was maybe freaking out a little.
But as soon as Melissa came into the room, all my thoughts about the shop left the room, and I just gazed up at her as she came in and slipped out of her blazer.
“Thanks for all this,” she said, draping the blazer over the back of the desk chair and sitting down next to me on the bed. “I can tell having you around has meant the world to Trish. I really want to do better by my family, so… I’m glad you gave me this opportunity.”
“Right,” I mumbled, looking down. “As your fake girlfriend.”
She sighed, looked off through the window, but her hand slipped down and tangled with mine. “You know,” she said after a minute. My heartrate probably just about doubled in that one moment.
“Yeah?” I said.
“I like you.”
Dammit I knew she liked me but hearing her say that still made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. “I like you, too,” I said. “But you don’t think it can work.”
“It would be rough on you,” she sighed, and she glanced back to me. When her gray eyes locked with mine, I felt such a complex tangle of feelings in my throat I didn’t think I could speak anymore. “I’d still be struggling to find time with you. I’d still be working nonstop, and only able to find time with you by cutting other things. It would be a lot to ask of you.”
“I’m a… patient person,” I said. “I mean, I understand. And I want to support you.”
She stared at me just like she had in the gazebo, studying me. Finally, she said, “You really think that?”
I flushed. “I-I do. I’ve done okay so far, haven’t I? I do think that.”
“It would be a lot to ask of you,” she repeated, “and I couldn’t ask you in good conscience. But…”
My stomach was tying itself up in little knots. “But?”
She got that stupid sexy smirk again, looking intently into my eyes. “I don’t have a good conscience in the first place, so I might as well. Would you be my girlfriend, Kayla?”
I felt all the breath leave me, something rising in my chest. I put a hand to my mouth, just staring wide-eyed, not actually believing I was here. Really not believing this was happening.
“If you don’t—” she started.
“Oh my god yes,” I managed to blurt out quickly enough it sounded like one word. “Yes, yes I’ll be your girlfriend. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend. Oh my goodness. I’m going to cry.”
I couldn’t believe I was saying that, and I really couldn’t believ
e the reaction I got—Melissa’s eyes widening, putting a hand to her mouth to cover up her growing smile, her eyes sparkling. “You’re really sure it’s okay?”
I threw my arms around her and squeezed her as tightly as I could manage, burying my face in her collar. It took me a second to realize I was laughing.
“Yes, yes, a hundred thousand times yes,” I said, muffled into her blouse. “You’re amazing and I like you so much.”
When she wrapped her arms around me, pulled me in tighter, and pressed her face up into my hair, breathing in gently, I felt the tears coming on. I sniffled, and she patted my shoulder softly, running her hand down my back.
“Thank you,” she said. “You’re amazing, too. I never would have imagined anyone would pull my head out of my ass like you did.”
I pulled away, looked up into her eyes, tried to find something to say and just laughed, giving up and shaking my head. We moved in at the same time, kissing deeply, wrapped in each other’s arms, pulling ourselves closer together. The moment was so right, so perfect, I felt tears hot on my cheeks but I barely even noticed them, Melissa the only thing in the world I could notice right now.
She was my girlfriend. Melissa was my girlfriend.
Chapter 15
Melissa
Kayla was my girlfriend.
It was hard to process even the next morning, wrapped in her arms. When I woke up in a tangle of cotton candy pink and blue hair, face-to-face with the girl who had assigned me my favorite color, her eyes closed, breathing softly, and I thought that’s my girlfriend, I felt like I was someone else looking in. Like all of this was so alien I couldn’t even comprehend it.
That was my girlfriend. And she was beautiful.
And she was okay with me being distant and overworked.
Speaking of which, I slipped out of her arms, rolled out of bed, and sat down at the desk to open my laptop. I had a lot of emails. None of the subject lines looked friendly. I had a number of calls on my itinerary, too, but I’d have to take those later so I wouldn’t wake up Kayla.
Life Is Sweet Page 10
