by Danni Roan
“You ready?” Trace asked walking over and offering his hand before leading her to a stocky spotted horse near his own sturdy bay.
Marissa smiled letting him help her into the saddle and adjust her stirrups. At the end of the line of riders, a group of teenage girls shot her dirty looks over their shoulder, and it was all she could do not to laugh.
“I see what you mean about needing some help,” she teased. “I don’t think your fan club is too happy with me at the moment.”
Trace cast a glance over his shoulder to where the girls were whispering as they held their horses to a slow walk.
Looking up at Marissa where she sat on the big appaloosa’s back, he dropped his hand to her leg and grinned. “I think I’ll be forever in your debt,” he said.
Marissa rolled her eyes. “Mount up cowboy,” she said. “I don’t want to miss the fun.”
Trace pushed his hat tighter onto his head and picked up the reins of his horse before swinging into the saddle in one smooth motion.
Marissa clicked to her own mount and started out to catch up with the rest of the crowd. “What’s my horse’s name?” she asked as Trace rode up beside her.
“That’s Pebbles,” the cowboy replied. “She’s one of the horses that Chase bought to fill out the herd while he waits for the others to grow up a bit.”
Marissa stroked the horse’s glossy mane. “I like her.”
In front of them Trace caught one of the girls toss her long dark hair over a shoulder as she flashed him a smile, and he cringed inside. Without thinking he reached over and took Marissa’s hand in his, feeling a deep warmth race through him like a blast of steam.
Marissa looked over at the cowboy and shook her head but didn’t take her hand from his. Her hand was warm and safe in his, and she liked the sense of confidence and freedom it gave her. For a moment, she wondered what it would have been like if she had met Trace a few short months ago. Things were far more complicated than they could have been then.
“Are you still serious about what we talked about the other night?” she asked looking down at his fingers wound around hers.
“I am,” Trace agreed, his eyes scanning the people ahead of them.
“What if I change my mind?” the young woman asked still feeling the fear and doubt of her future quiver in the pit of her stomach.
“That’s up to you,” Trace said softly, “but I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“You know I’ll have to go back to work this fall right?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“I’ll take off when the time comes though. They give us sixteen weeks of leave time.”
“Do you want me to come out to you?”
Marissa looked at Trace, not sure what to say. What she wanted was for her perfect plan to have worked out. For everything to have gone the way it was supposed to, but now it was different, and she was on her own.
“Would you?” she asked.
“Yes,” Trace’s voice was soft but firm and she knew he was telling the truth.
“How does this all work?” Marissa said turning her eyes to the small group of cattle that was moving down the trail. Around her, she could see excited guests trotting along toward the herd, and quiet cowboys unobtrusively slipping in to make sure that everything ran smooth.
In the distance, she spotted Kade turning the lead cow with his oversized mule and grinned. She wondered what it must have been like in the early days of the ranch with men working cows on a regular basis. A real round up must have been a sight to see.
“You decide,” Trace said. “In the end the decision is yours, and by the time the baby comes, you might feel like you want to be a mother.”
“So you’re saying I might grow into it?” Marissa offered as a lame attempt at humor.
“Something like that,” Trace agreed giving her hand a light squeeze.
“Trace I want you to know something,” Marissa turned slightly in her saddle to look at the man. “I have always wanted this baby. I just didn’t know how I was going to do this on my own. I had been in a long time relationship with my high school sweetheart, and I thought we were headed in the same direction. Apparently we weren’t. I want a family, a career, someone to love, but we all know it’s hard to do that once you have a child.”
“It didn’t stop Hunter,” Trace said pointing toward the cowboy on the left side of the herd. “He was a father right out of high school, and he’s found the love of his life.”
“Thanks,” Marissa said suddenly wishing that Trace was holding her hand because he cared for her. It was a crazy notion to think of marrying him, so that she wouldn’t feel all alone during this trying time. As much as she loved her sister and knew she would help in any way she could, Michelle had a life and a family of her own. Trace was offering her a safety net. A way out after everything was said and done, and she longed to grab it with both hands.
Despite her education, her career, and her knowledge that she was a strong woman she wanted someone she could count on if she needed them.
“I’ll do it,” she said quietly looking at him again. “I’m probably crazy, but I don’t want to do this alone and I don’t want to be a burden to my family.”
Trace squeezed her hand again, his heart beating a happy rhythm in his breast. It was all going to work out. He was sure of it. He just had to help her see the light.
A strange sense of peace seemed to settle over Marissa, and she smiled feeling good about this decision. She had time now. Time to sort out what came next, and a friend who would lend his name to the future, even if she found out she was totally unprepared to be a mother, Trace could find a loving family for her child, and wearing his ring, she wouldn’t have to answer so many awkward questions.
The sound of cowboys taking over the cattle drive made Marissa peer past the setting sun as Kade and some of the hired hands drove the cattle out into the prairie while others led the excited guests toward a small campfire on a hill.
The drive was ending and the chuck wagon dinner beginning. She hoped they had music at this one. Maybe she could get Trace to dance.
***
Trace always enjoyed the chuck wagon meals. Eating out under the stars and listening to the guests and wranglers laughing and joking about the mock drive made him feel more connected to the land. Where he came from his extended family still raised sheep on their ancestral farm.
“Hey cowboy,” Marissa called as they finished their meals and the musicians tuned up their instruments. “How about a dance?”
Trace smiled feeling the confidence that Marissa exuded now that she had made a decision and got to his feet noting the unfriendly glares of some of the other girls.
“You may regret this,” he said pulling Marissa into his arms and stepping out onto a dusty dance area. “I’ve been told I have two left feet.”
The sound of Marissa’s laughter was like cool rain after a scorching day, and Traces’ heart soared.
Chapter 13
Trace finished brushing out the last horse from the night’s ride then turned it into the corral with a slap on the rump.
He had enjoyed his ride tonight. It had been fun to have someone riding with him, and the added benefit of not having a gaggle of girls trailing him had been a blessed relief.
Once the guests had settled in for the dinner and dancing Kade and some of the younger wranglers had gathered up the horses bringing them back to the barn before Kade hitched Jack and Scott to the big red wagon and drove back to collect the happy dudes and dudettes.
Trace had stayed on at the chuck wagon even dancing with Marissa a few times, as he reveled in her joyful laughter. He loved to see her smile and couldn’t help but be drawn to her.
She was tough in her own way, but still so vulnerable. Trace understood Marissa’s fear. She had plans, hopes, a whole life spread out before her. This was not the way she had seen her future. He was glad she had let him in and that she would allow him to help.
He still wasn’t
sure how he was going to explain the whole thing to his sister, but deep down he believed she would understand. His life was not his own anymore. He’d turned over all of the anger, hurt, and disappointment to a loving God long ago and he wasn’t turning back now.
If Daisy, with the knowledge that she hadn’t been wanted by her own mother, and all of her medical issues, could find joy in her salvation, how much more could he.
Tomorrow he had the afternoon off and planned on taking Marissa out again, maybe a picnic or a day in town. He would have to figure that out, but he knew he was excited about spending more time with the girl he was going to marry.
Shaking his head as he turned toward his pickup truck, Trace grinned and cast his eyes toward a bright star filled sky. “I hope I’ve got this right,” he said to the bejeweled darkness above. “I’m trying to understand, but I wouldn’t mind a burning bush, or even a staff that sprouts a few green leaves.”
***
Marissa flopped into the comfortable hand carved bed in the room she used at the Ballard home and smiled up at the ceiling. She had had a good time with Trace at the cattle drive and chuck wagon dinner, and the feeling of contentment filling her heart was a relief from worry and doubt.
She really wasn’t sure how this whole thing had happened, but she had told Trace that she was ready to go through with his crazy plan. Her heart was so full of love and for the first time she had something that would be all hers to care about. She also had a safety net if that responsibility seemed too much to bear.
Marissa knew the whole scheme was crazy, but Michelle had taken crazy to a new level and look at how that had worked out. Even knowing that, Trace was only going through with this arrangement to protect an unborn life, Marissa could feel a connection with the cowboy she couldn’t remember with anyone else.
Snuggling under her blankets, Marissa mentally shook her head. “I’m completely crazy,” she whispered into the silence of the room. “I feel like some character in a fairytale, but I don’t care.” With her final words, Marissa rolled over and drifted off to sleep.
***
“You look nice,” Michelle said the next morning as Marissa walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.
“I have a date,” Marissa said knowing she had surprised her sister. “Trace asked if I’d like to spend the day with him, and I said yes.”
“You’re kidding,” Michelle said in surprise.
“I’m not a complete ogre you know,” Marissa said. “And before you start I’ve been completely honest with that cowboy.”
Michelle bit back the questions she had. Arguing with Marissa had never done much good. “So what are you doing today?” she asked instead.
“I don’t know yet. I’m letting him surprise me.”
“He’s a good guy,” Michelle commented lifting her own mug as her sister took a seat.
“I think I’m going to marry him,” Marissa said hiding her grin behind her as her sister gaped.
“What?” Michelle practically shouted. “You don’t even know him.”
“Like you knew Kade,” Marissa shot back.
“That was different. If you’re just looking for a way out of the mess you got yourself into it isn’t fair to drag someone else into it.”
Marissa snorted. “Right, because you didn’t do that at all. You practically disappeared from your old life and ended up married to a stranger.”
“That was different,” Michelle tried.
“How?” Marissa spat slamming her cup onto the table and splashing coffee over the rim. “Trace knows about my problem, and he is the one who came up with this idea. It’s not like I’m trying to trap him into something. He already knows what he’s getting into, which is more than I can say for how you treated Kade.”
“I didn’t even know it was Kade I was marrying,” Michelle protested grabbing a towel to mop up the spilled coffee. “I was just getting out of my other situation.”
“I’m not discussing this,” Marissa said standing. “I’ve made an arrangement I can live with, and it’s none of your business. I actually thought you might see my side of it especially since Trace has those same crazy religion ideas as you. Who knows maybe he’ll bring me around,” she finished heading for the door that was already opening.
“Good morning!” Kade said walking into the house with Kadence in his arms. “What’s for breakfast?”
Marissa stormed through the already open door not even looking at Kade as hot tears spilled from her eyes.
Why couldn’t Michelle understand how desperate she was to have someone who she could lean on if she needed to? Trace had offered her a safety net, and she had grabbed on with both hands.
Marching down the stairs and dashing the tears from her eyes Marissa gazed around her not sure where she was headed. Behind her she could hear Kade’s confused voice asking Michelle what had happened as he closed the door.
Chapter 14
Almost on instinct, Maris found her way to the barn and slipped behind the big doors, out of sight.
She wasn’t usually this emotional and was pretty sure that her hormones were to blame, but she was also hurt by her sister’s comments.
Standing in the shade of the big barn, she looked around hoping she would catch a glimpse of Trace, but the barn was quiet and only the occasional huff of a horse, stomp of a steel shod hoof drifted her way.
Plopping into the old camp chair at the edge of the door, she put her head in her hands and wept.
The soft sound of male voices drifted along the wide-open aisle that stretched the length of the old barn, and Marissa lifted her head listening.
She recognized Chase’s voice then Red Dixon’s. Red was an old rodeo clown that Chase had hired to help keep the ranch staffed and he could often be found doing odd jobs around the Broken J.
As the words drifted through the quiet barn Marissa sat up listening, but when she heard Trace’s soft baritone join in she felt a trickle of excitement race through her.
Although Marissa couldn’t hear every word, snippets of the prayer reached her, and her sorrow and anger seemed to melt away at the hopeful cadence of words lifted to heaven. Perhaps she didn’t believe in the concept of God, but the fact that Trace did was oddly comforting.
Each word descended like the brush of angels wings.
The sound of a door opening and closing made Marissa get to her feet and peer over a stall door as if she hadn’t been eves dropping only moments ago.
The sound of men laughing and chatting as they made their way to various jobs around the ranch had Marissa focusing on the young horse in front of her as she quietly stroked its wide blaze face.
“Marissa?” Trace’s voice made her turn but she didn’t look up. She didn’t want him to see that she had been crying like some silly teen.
“Hi Trace,” she said forcing her voice to be cheerful.
“What’s wrong?” Trace asked, placing a finger under her chin and forcing her to meet his eyes.
“It’s nothing,” Marissa insisted shaking herself from his grip and trying to turn around.
“I can tell it isn’t nothing,” Trace said turning her into his arms and pulling her close.
Marissa sank into the cowboy’s arms with a sigh, resting her head on his shoulder. It felt good to let someone else take some of the burden for even a few moments.
“Have you had breakfast?” Trace asked running his hands up her back. “I need about ten pancakes, and a mountain of bacon,” he added with a chuckle. “Come on over to the house and eat with me.”
Marissa pulled back a smile breaking across her face. “Food would be nice,” she admitted. “I just had a row with my sister, and it has put me in a bad mood.”
Trace reached down taking Marissa’s hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do and together they headed across the dusty yard to the house and the promise of breakfast.
“What were you two fighting about?” Trace asked as they made their way to the back porch where bre
akfast was being served to the crew.
“You,” Marissa admitted. “I told her, half joking, that I was going to marry you. She thinks I’m taking advantage of you to make myself feel better.”
“Are you?” Trace asked making her look up in shock.
“You offered,” she said her voice breathy with doubt.
“Then how can you be taking advantage of me. I don’t have some white knight complex,” he added. “I just wanted to make life easier on you. I can’t turn my back on a situation like this,” he paused stopping before making the last turn past the old sod shack. “Besides, I kind of like you.”
Marissa looked into the clear blue eyes of the handsome cowboy before her and felt a smile tug at her lips. “Really?”
