by R K Dreaming
Mr Osterich shot Percy a filthy look, and then nodded at Lucifer, as if he had finally found an adult who was speaking sense. He swept off with his wife and daughter into the school.
Lucifer offered Percy his arm, and she grudgingly tucked her hand into it. The headmistress glared at them both as they walked away.
“More like I’ll be keeping my eye on you,” muttered Percy beneath her breath as they walked down the hallway towards the assembly hall.
“Now, now darling,” said Lucifer laughingly. “I’ll remember my part of the deal, if you remember yours. You have the whole show to find out who you think the real murderer is, but I’m rather convinced that Miss Osterich is our culprit. Did you see that wonderfully flamboyant car her father turned up in? It shouldn’t be difficult for me to keep an eye on it, even in London traffic.”
“You can’t go skulking around following students straight after the event,” hissed Percy. “What happens to a person after you eat their soul anyway? If anything happens to her, and her parents realize that you were the one who did it—”
“Relax, darling,” said Lucifer smugly. “I’m just a lowly Humble, remember? High and mighty incubus Mr Osterich is hardly going to accuse little old me of eating his precious daughter’s soul. The thought won’t even cross his lofty mind.”
“And then what?” hissed Percy. “Is one going to be enough, or do you plan on consuming the entire student population?”
“Only the naughty ones, darling,” said Lucifer, chuckling. “The more the merrier. Daddy needs to get his mojo back.”
“Ew!” said Percy. “That just sounds… wrong.”
He led her into the assembly hall, and brutally sliced his way through the crowd, which parted for him so swiftly it was as if they sensed a predator in their midst. He led her to the very front row.
He found the seats he wanted in the very middle, but they were occupied. So he glared at the couple who had snagged such a prime position, and said, “These seats are reserved for us, I believe.”
Sensing someone probably a little bit dangerous, the couple looked crestfallen. They muttered complaints under their breaths and looked despairingly down the assembly hall, to see that most of the seats in the front half of the hall were already filled.
“But we came early to get a good spot,” protested the man.
“Unfortunate,” said Lucifer silkily.
Shooting Lucifer glares, which he seemed not to notice, the couple shuffled away.
“After you,” he said, indicating a now empty seat. “And don’t say you won’t have an excellent view of the action from here. You should be able to spot your murderer easily. We are still operating under the assumption that it is one of the contestants, aren’t we?”
Percy supposed she should be grateful he’d had the sense to say all of this in an undertone, since they were surrounded on all sides by people who seemed unable to take their eyes of Lucifer.
He was dressed in his usual snazzy suit, but she knew that wasn’t the only thing that fascinated them. He was abuzz with energy and life in a way that was alarming her, but intoxicating them, the silly mortals.
She nodded grudgingly. The stage curtains were down so she was unable to see onto the stage. She wondered if a third judge had been found to replace Judge Emma.
At the side of the stage an easel festooned in clusters of flowers had been put up. It held a framed portrait of the judge, with the words In Memoriam draped over it all. The whole thing was tied up in a big ribbon bow, as if it was a gift.
Aside from the portrait, there was nothing else somber about the whole affair.
Nan had achieved a spectacular effect with glittering fairy lights up above, and the plush velvet curtains had been hung with elegant golden streamers. Dramatic spotlights swept from side to side, and there was a buzz of anticipation in the air.
The assembly hall filled up slowly, while Percy impatiently tapped her toes.
“Wonder what a soul tastes like here in the mortal realm,” said Lucifer perfectly seriously.
The woman sitting beside him, who up until this point had been taking peeks at him from beneath her fluttering eyelashes, suddenly looked like she had swallowed a fly. She blinked at him, as if astonished by what he had said.
He beamed a smile at her and crooned, “A delicious little soul like yours, my dear.”
The woman practically swooned.
The pugnacious man beside her looked like he was about to say something, but he caught the look in Lucifer’s eyes and he hastily looked away. He spent the next few minutes fidgeting angrily in his seat.
Once the crowd had quietened down, Nan came out onto the stage, and nervously said a few words in memory of Judge Emma. Percy gave her an encouraging smile.
There was a polite applause when Nan finished her eulogy, and then Nan introduced the two student hosts of the show, who swept out and greeted the crowd with great energy.
Behind them, the streamer festooned purple curtains rose dramatically to the sound of booming music, and the three judges were introduced with great aplomb.
A woman who Percy did not recognize had taken the place of Judge Emma, and she looked very happy to be here indeed.
“Who is that?” asked Percy.
“Are you asking me?” said Lucifer, pointing to himself, as if astonished that she would think he bothered to pay attention to such trifles.
The new judge was a thin and small birdlike woman, her nose a sharp beak. She looked very out of place next to tall, glamorous Alice Evangelista in her plush off-the-shoulder red gown and slick Georgie Little in his suit of black glitter. Neither looked pleased that this woman they did not know had been added to the panel.
As the new woman was introduced as Judge Winifred, Percy muttered, “She’s a Humble. She has to be. Doesn’t look like a witch to me.”
Lucifer assessed the woman with narrowed eyes. “Succubus,” he declared.
“She’s a bit mousy,” said Percy.
“A Plain Jane. Sometimes they come that way.”
Either way, Percy was displeased. She had been counting on them replacing Judge Emma with another witch, who would be better able to spot any magical threats.
But then again, poor Judge Emma had not had a clue about the Draught of Doom inside her own green juice. So maybe it would not have helped.
The show began, and soon Percy was bored stiff with all the dazzling outfits and all of the rapturous applause and the simpering soundbites from the contestants as they were asked their questions by the judges.
She particularly found herself annoyed by the swimsuit section, where the Three Bees emerged in identical golden bikinis, and pranced around on stage like three gazelles in perfect synchronicity.
The break came and Percy tried to hurry up the steps at the side of the stage, but was caught by a teacher who looked at her very suspiciously and did not believe her claim that she was needed backstage.
As the teacher was telling Percy off, Judge Winnifred came over with a little notepad and pencil in her hands, and trilled, “What is your name, young lady?” in an artificially sweet voice that made Percy dislike her intensely.
She looked at Percy like she was relishing the thought of shipping her off to jail.
Fortunately for Percy, Mrs Gooding arrived and insisted on hustling Percy back to her seat, saying, “They won’t need your help, dear.”
Lucifer, who had ventured off to get them some ice cream, rejoined Percy at their seats in time for the talent section.
Percy, who had kept a close eye on every single person on stage throughout the show, was growing impatient and jittery. She could not tell if anyone was acting odd. She really had needed to be backstage during the break,
As the first contestant began her talent, playing the guitar and singing a song in a mournful high voice, Percy considered all of the bad luck that could befall the girl. Some of the rigging falling on her from above perhaps, or the high stool she was perched on falling over and sending the po
or girl crashing to her doom.
Percy’s eyes darted to the judges’ table every once in a while, her nerves tightening as she saw the big jug of orange juice that had been placed there. No black cloud of doom was visible from here, but what if it was because she was too far away?
Her nerves tightened even further when Judge Georgie poured two glasses of juice for himself and Judge Alice. He looked very annoyed indeed when Judge Winnifred reached out and simply took his glass for himself, forcing him to pour a third.
It must have been hot under the spotlights, because the judges drained their glasses immediately.
Beside Percy, Lucifer seemed to be having a right old merry time, commenting frequently on the ten contestants and their likelihood to be the murderer.
“What a frothy little confection,” he said about a hula hooping dancer dressed in something resembling a pink tutu. “I imagine her soul will taste like strawberry champagne.”
“She’s not very likely to win, poor dear,” he noted about another, who was attempting to pull a rabbit out of a hat. The rabbit seemed to be stuck in there, because it squealed loudly as she yanked its long floppy ears. “I hope it’s not her. She looks about as tasty as dull dishwater.”
“Stop it,” Percy hissed. “You sound like a right old perv!”
Lucifer threw back his head and howled with laughter, attracting astonished looks from all around, and various chiding attempts to hush him.
They thought he was laughing at the girl with the stubborn rabbit.
He ignored them.
“Me?” he gasped, practically rolling around in his chair in mirth. “Perv?”
He hooted with abandon, until she grabbed his inner wrist and pinched it as hard as she could.
“Ouch!” he complained. “That’s tender! I don’t like that.”
“Then stop doing it,” Percy ground out between her teeth, before finally letting go.
Back on the stage, the girl had given up on her rabbit.
The talent section continued, and despite Percy’s tense scrutiny of every movement of every contestant and every sip the judges took from their drinks, and her winces any time anyone made a sudden movement, her body poised and tensed as if to fly up onto stage to rescue anyone if they showed any signs of keeling over, nothing happened. Nothing happened at all.
Time was ticking by. Percy caught Nan peering at her from the side of the stage anxiously once or twice, as if to check whether Percy had made any sudden realizations yet. Percy peered back at Nan equally as anxiously, jerking her head questioningly, silently asking Nan if she had seen anything suspicious backstage. Nan shook her head a little each time, looking disappointed.
But nowhere near as disappointed as Percy felt. Because as each minute ticked by, Lucifer’s excitement was growing. He was practically bouncing in his chair, like a puppy that was finally going to be set loose from its leash.
And now they were down to the last three contestants, because Barbie came onto the stage. She played a new tune on her flute, swaying along to her music, looking very glamorous in her long silver dress.
Blanche and Bella to go.
Wild thoughts were racing through Percy’s head now. Would Bella sabotage her own best friend, Blanche?
But what if it was the other way around? What if Percy had made a great big mistake? Maybe it would be Bella who would be hurt. Maybe Bella had been the next target all along. Get rid of Bella, and Blanche would win.
Barbie left and Blanche came on, looking magnificent in a glittery sequined long pink gown. It had a sheer floaty train dangling from her shoulders that swayed along with her dancing while she played her flute. It was a very good performance. Much better than her last one had been. Far superior to Barbie’s.
The judges gave her a standing ovation, and Blanche beamed at them. She made a deep curtsey that seemed to last an entire minute, and blew a kiss at Head Judge Alice, who looked very flattered.
Blanche.
The best friend.
The second Bee.
Always runner up.
Maybe she was tired of it.
Had it been Blanche all along?
And finally it was Bella’s turn. The very last contestant.
Dressed in a ballerina’s white tutu, its edges frosted silver, her face painted like an elegant swan, she leapt and pirouetted and pranced across the stage, her ribbons floating and whirling gracefully. Two young men danced alongside her, looking like professional ballet dancers.
It was an excellent move. Their muscled bulk and adoring glances made her seem even more like a beloved, fragile, glass-spun fairy princess.
The performance went on for longer than two minutes, but nobody protested as they danced their tale of love and tragedy, with the male swans dueling for Bella’s affections, and both dying at each other’s hands in the end, leaving her tragic and alone and beautiful.
What a finale.
An unfair finale, because none of the other contestants had been allowed back up dancers or extra time. And yet the audience was rising to its feet with thunderous applause, and so were the three judges.
Percy had kept her eyes glued on Bella and her two dancers, in case it was her dancers who were going to do something to harm Bella. But nothing had happened. Absolutely nothing.
And now Bella was taking her final bow, looking very smug indeed, and the crowd’s rapturous applause went on and on.
“No,” muttered Percy, her eyes still glued on Bella. “No, no, no.”
Bella who had no idea she was going to have her soul eaten tonight unless Percy did something to stop it.
“It looks like your time is up, darling,” said Lucifer, making a feeble effort to sound sympathetic. The gleam in his dark eyes told her he was not sorry at all.
“Wonderful!” Head Judge Alice was crying out to Bella, as golden confetti sprinkled down on them all from above, as if Bella had already won. “Bravo!”
Bella was bouncing up and down with glee, and refusing to leave the stage, even though both of the two hosts were trying to tug her off it.
Giving up, the boy host Arthur hurried to the microphone and said, “The judges will now take a few minutes to discuss their final scores before announcing your winner!”
But Percy knew there was no point for the judges to discuss their winner. All three judges were gazing adoringly at Bella, who had such a jubilant look in her eyes as if she had already won.
Stupid, stupid Bella, who did not know that at that very moment the school librarian was contemplating whether her soul would taste more like caramel or candy floss.
Stupid Bella, with her big huge grey eyes, her limpid, enticing gaze fixed on the three judges, who were all simpering back at her.
She is using her Allure, Percy thought. She is not allowed to use her Allure.
Judge Winnifred was a succubus too, and even she looked enraptured. Were succubae affected by each other’s Allure? Was Bella’s Allure simply too strong for the sour little succubus judge to resist?
And yet the two host students on stage both looked extremely annoyed with Bella for not following their instructions to wait at the sidelines. If Bella had been using her Allure, the two hosts would have been affected by it too. They would be simpering too, especially the boy Arthur.
And then Percy knew what was happening. She just knew.
And she knew how to save Bella from Lucifer, or to save Lucifer from Bella. Because she needed to do both.
She bounded to her feet. Dashing to the stage, she had hauled herself up onto it in a split second. Nobody had time to even try stopping her. They had not been expecting anyone from the crowd to dash up there. Silly them.
Percy yanked the microphone out of the boy host Arthur’s hand, held it up to her mouth, and cried, “A round of applause for the fabulous Bella Osterich!” She swept her arm in Bella’s direction, and the crowd clapped even louder.
“And,” continued Percy, “one more time, let’s hear it for our three wonderful judges!”
The judges beamed, and the crowd’s applause swelled, and host Arthur, who had been trying to reclaim his microphone, hesitated, seeming uncertain.
Percy spotted Mrs Gooding standing just off-stage. She was waving urgently at Percy, the annoyed look on her face clearly telling Percy to get offstage at once. Maybe she thought Percy was trying to ruin Nan’s limelight. Percy knew that at any moment she would come out and drag Percy off if need be.
Percy had just seconds, if that.
Clamping both hands around the microphone, she said, “Isn’t it amazing how excited our judges are for Miss Bella Osterich and her delightful performance? Effusive! Joyous! You know they’re going to only pick one winner tonight, don’t you? Heck, if I didn’t know better I would say they had love potion in their drinks!”
The applause got louder, but then some of it began to stutter to a halt as the eldritch half of the crowd realized what Percy had said.
Love potion.
It might have sounded like a joke to the Humble half of the crowd, who were still clapping, and laughing even, but the other half had started muttering amongst themselves.
“Love potion?” Percy heard someone whisper.
The whispers gathered strength, people muttering amongst themselves, no longer looking so jubilant for Bella. Instead, they were eyeing the three judges suspiciously.
Judge Georgie added to the speculation. He had been shaking Bella’s hand vigorously, but was now trying to hug her.
Bella managed to fight him off with boy host Arthur’s assistance.
She marched across the stage and yanked the microphone out of Percy’s hand.
“Oh that silly little Percy Prince,” she said lightly. “She does like to have her stupid jokes. Always trying to ruin the show. Such a little attention seeker! Where is your mother tonight, Percy? Not here, is she? Never here, as I’ve heard it. No wonder you’re always making these cries for attention.”
Percy wanted to slam her fist into Bella’s face. Just like Bella had slammed hers into Percy’s the other night, right after forcing that potion down Percy’s throat.
But it was a trap. Bella was goading Percy. She wanted to be attacked. She wanted Percy to look like a madwoman. And so Percy refused to do it, her fists clenched with the effort.
