by R K Dreaming
Percy laughed and took a bow.
And then all of the competitors started hooting and applauding, especially Nilgun’s friends. Only Blanche and Bella looked miserable. And Octavia was sulking over in the corner. Councilor Strickt looked distinctly dissatisfied. To her surprise Percy didn’t even feel like gloating.
Instead she looked across at Nan, who was standing beside her mum and looking utterly relieved. Percy winked at her.
Nan slipped away from her mum and came to stand next to Percy, and said very quietly, “Now that’s a bad day in Hell for somebody, Demonling.”
“But not us, Cherub,” said Percy, enjoying the applause. “Not us.”
23. Home Again
It was Sunday morning. Percy had just finished putting a large grey parrot into Mr Bramble’s aviary, and making sure he was being friendly with the robins, when she heard the doorbell ring inside her house.
She hurried back down the garden, through the house, and flung open the front door, and was astonished to see the people who were standing there.
Jostling for space on the stairs outside were Councilor Strickt, Headmistress Glory, Lucifer Darkwing, Nan, and Mrs Gooding.
“Huh,” said Percy, at an uncharacteristic loss for words. She found this particular mix of people to be a little ominous.
Nan took one look at Percy’s face and giggled, and quickly looked at her shoes when Councilor Strickt gave her an admonishing look.
“Have you come to congratulate me?” Percy said to Councilor Strickt. She mimicked his stiff tone and added, “For becoming a responsible and brave young citizen, the likes of which a certain councilor said I would never be, no matter how hard I tried?”
Councilor Strickt gave her a sour look. Clearly he didn’t like the words he had said to her in Luca’s Café being thrown back at him this way.
“I shan’t come in,” he said, “since you have so many guests here. However, I came to inform you that the Eldritch Council has closed its file on you missed Prince. We are prepared to accept that your car crash last weekend was an unfortunate accident, and that you will not partake in such behavior again.”
“And did you add that she closed a murder case for the Eldritch Council too?” said Nan cheekily.
Councilor Strickt glowered at her, but did not bother to reply to this.
“I believe my daughter is quite serious, councilor,” said Mrs Gooding. “I was wondering the very same thing.”
Percy didn’t even need that little bit of recognition. It was enough that her friends wanted it for her. That was what felt amazing.
“I have included an addendum to that effect,” said Councilor Strickt, looking very sour indeed. “However, the Eldritch Council warns you against interfering in our investigations in future, Miss Prince. You are lucky it ended well.”
“So are you, wouldn’t you say?” said Percy with a cheeky smile.
He scowled. “Let this be an end to the matter. I never want to hear from you again, Miss Prince! I’ll take my leave. Oh, and I have contacted your mother to say that she needn’t come home after all.”
Percy glared at him. She had spent much of yesterday tidying stuff up and hiding things she had broken, and generally worrying about receiving an irate Gwendolyn Prince home at any moment. And all for nothing!
“Thanks,” she said dryly. “You could have told me yesterday.”
Councilor Strickt nodded at her in farewell. As he marched down the stairs, she couldn’t resist throwing some last words at him.
“Send Felix and Octavia my regards. I’ll be keeping my eyes on them!”
She distinctly heard Councilor Strickt huff in annoyance as he got into his car.
“Brilliant,” Nan mouthed at Percy silently. Then she gave a querying look at Headmistress Glory and Lucifer.
“Erm, do you want mum and I to wait inside the house for you, Percy?” she asked.
Percy opened the door wider to let them both in. To Percy’s surprise, Mrs Gooding gave her a warm hug before she disappeared inside the house.
Percy turned to regard Headmistress Glory and Lucifer. “So, hell-parents,” she said. “What brings you here?”
“Your mortal mother is not coming home then?” said Lucifer. “Darn shame. A remarkable woman, I hear. I was looking forward to meeting her.”
“I bet you were,” said Headmistress Glory scathingly.
“Didn’t we agree that you would stay out of my business and I would stay out of yours?” he said snappishly.
“Me agree to anything you want?” said the headmistress scornfully. “I hardly think so.”
“Now, now, grown-ups,” said Percy with amusement. “I assume you are here for a purpose? What is it? I have guests to tend to. Wanted guests,” she added impertinently.
Lucifer ruffled her hair, and bent down to plant a peck on her cheek. “I only came to say congratulations, Demonling. Round one to you. But the game is now afoot, and I shall win the next one.”
Percy groaned. “The game is not afoot,” she protested. “And even if it was, I have no intention of letting you win the next one!”
He only laughed, and danced down the stairs, and jauntily strode off down the street.
Percy looked after him, half amused, half despairing. She was glad he was still him, and not whatever more dangerous thing he could still become.
“He’ll never change,” said Headmistress Glory.
She was watching him too, with an almost wistful expression on her face, Percy noted. As soon as she saw Percy looking at her, Headmistress Glory hastily rearranged her face into her usual blank mask.
“And how can I help you, headmistress?” asked Percy.
“I came to tell you that I shall expect you back at school on Monday morning, Persephone Prince,” said the headmistress.
With that command, she turned to leave, but then stopped as if having a second thought.
She spun around on her heel neatly. “Well done,” she said almost grudgingly, as if this was a very painful thing to say.
“Thank you,” Percy called after her.
The headmistress turned. She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. “Whatever for, Persephone prince?” she said coyly.
“As if you didn’t know,” retorted Percy.
Percy shut the door behind her, unable to believe it. Ruthless Glory had never said ‘Well done’ to anybody in her life. Certainly not to Demonling.
And Percy didn’t even mind the command to continue with school. At the beginning of the week she would have said that she never wanted to see Humble High again, but now she had other ideas. If both Glory and Lucifer were tied to Humble High School, so was she. Someone needed to keep them both out of trouble.
With a little smile on her face, Percy made her way to the kitchen, where she found an ecstatic Jeeves serving tea and scones with clotted cream and jam to Nan and Mrs Gooding.
He had made them for Percy’s mother. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too disappointed to hear Gwendolyn wasn’t coming home after all.
Mrs Gooding looked a little bit awkward when she saw Percy now. She gave Percy her tentative smile, and said brightly, “I only popped in to get some recipes from Jeeves. I’ve been meaning to ask him for them for years!”
“You’re welcome to come any time, Mrs Gooding,” said Percy, and she meant it.
Mrs Gooding suddenly looked emotional. “Well, I can’t say I haven’t missed you, Persephone Prince,” she said, with what looked suspiciously like tears glimmering in her eyes. “And since you’ll be going to Humble High now, I will expect you to keep my Nan out of trouble.”
Percy laughed. “You should expect your Nan to keep me out of trouble,” she said.
Mrs Gooding looked like she didn’t know whether to despair of this or to laugh. She chose to laugh.
“Oh Percy Prince,” she said, pinching Percy’s cheek. “Whatever will we do with you?”
Mum,” said Nan. “Percy and I are going to hang out in the garden. We need to catch up on some stu
ff. Are you going to stay here with Mr Jeeves?”
Mrs Gooding rolled her eyes. “Don’t let me stop you,” she said.
She helped Jeeves load up a tray of goodies for Percy and Nan to take out into the garden with them, and handed it over to Nan.
“I’m stronger,” said Percy snatching it away.
“Are not,” complained Nan. “Last time you carried a tray for us, you dropped it.”
“On purpose!” said Percy. “And that was five whole years ago.”
The girls walked out through the garden door, still bickering. They heard Mrs Gooding laughing with Jeeves as they left.
Out in the garden, Percy placed the tray carefully down onto a table beneath an arbor clad in climbing roses. Its bench was a swinging seat, and the girls had used to love to sit here when they were little.
Sunlight streamed through the leaves above, dappling their faces. Nan tipped her head back and let out a big sigh of bliss.
Percy poured tea for both of them, and split two scones in half and buttered them.
“Cream first,” said Nan quickly.
“Everyone knows it’s jam first,” Percy insisted, proceeding to slather on the raspberry jam, and then dollop a generous spoonful of cream on top.
Nan groaned, but when Percy handed her a scone half, she grabbed it and gobbled it down within seconds.
Percy chuckled. “Greedy Cherub!”
“Hurry up with that other half,” Nan said.
“What happened with the show tickets in the end?” Percy asked. “Did people demand their money back?”
Nan shook her head. “The opposite! We got phone calls all day yesterday with people saying that the show was even better than they could have hoped for! Can you believe it? And the Eldritch Council expected people to ask for their money back, so they’ve actually paid us for all the tickets anyway. Which means we’ve now raised double the amount of money that I had pledged!” Nan squealed in glee.
“And how much did Octavia Smythe-Smith raise from her Ice Cream Quiz?” said Percy with amusement.
Nan laughed. “I mean, it’s not a competition or anything, but,” — she punched her fist into the air — “nowhere near as much as me!”
Percy applauded. “I can’t believe that awful Councilor Strickt actually paid for the tickets sales. He seems like a right old stingy miser.”
“He didn’t want to, I think,” said Nan. “But he was worried about the fact you’d warned them about a murder and they had ignored it. He doesn’t want people saying that the Eldritch Council should have been keeping a better eye on the school, and that Judge Emma’s death was all of his fault.”
“I bet Octavia is seething,” said Percy with a big grin. “She wanted so badly for me to be wrong.”
Nan side-eyed Percy. “But Felix came through for you in the end.”
“Yeah,” said Percy casually. “Maybe he’s not so bad after all.”
Nan elbowed her. “Oh stop being such a miser,” she said. “We should have invited him to come around today and hang out with us.”
“No,” protested Percy. “I mean… He probably wouldn’t want to.”
“Of course he would,” said Nan incredulously. “It must be really lonely being a sentinel in an eldritch school and not being able to tell anyone, and not being able to make any friends because you think you’re going to have to lie to them. I bet he’d love to be friends with us, because we know and we don’t hate him for it.”
Percy grinned. “Maybe I’ll invite him next time.”
Nan looked suspicious at this sudden change of heart, and then rolled her eyes. “Only because you’ve just realized how much it is going to annoy Octavia.”
“She deserves to be annoyed,” said Percy. “She’s always annoying everyone else.”
“It’s too bad half the school won’t know what you did,” said Nan regretfully. “The conclave did memory charms on all the Humble students and teachers who were backstage.
“What do you think our next adventure will be?” said Percy.
“What next adventure ?” said Nan, looking a little startled.
“You know, we have to think of a way to keep things interesting or school will be so dull. Like, did you notice how Mrs Delancey is always trying to hang out with Lucifer? We need to find out what’s going on there for a start. A Humble and a former Hell lord? Woah, bad combination! And—”
“No,” said Nan. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Or how about that potions trouble you mentioned? About students getting hold of dodgy potions in school? We could put a stop to that!”
“No more adventures,” said Nan firmly. “Can you just let me eat my scones in peace?”
“Speaking of potions,” said Percy a little more seriously. She lowered her voice. “Did Councilor Strickt say anything to your mum about those Draught of Doom ingredients?”
Nan’s eyes widened in sudden glee. “He sort of mentioned something. It was a bit weird. I got the impression that Bella tried to say she’d stolen things from our house, but she’s been lying so much that Councilor Strickt didn’t believe her at all. Isn’t that wonderful? And such a relief!”
“Serves her right!” said Percy sharply. “Trying to land you in it like that. After she was the one who snuck around stealing things that she shouldn’t have been from people’s houses! The nerve!”
“And I heard that the Eldritch Council and the Conclave of Magic are arguing for jurisdiction over this one, which means that Councilor Strickt can’t just hand Eleanor and Bella over to the sentinels. So they are both going to get a proper trial after all.”
Percy nodded. “Yeah, Headmistress Glory really came through for me on this one. The only reason the conclave was there was because she called them. After she told me that she wouldn’t as well.”
“Aw,” said Nan. “What are Mothers for?”
Percy groaned. “Don’t call her my Mother.”
Nan made herself up another piece of scone, with jam on top this time, and took a big bite.
“You know what the best thing is?” she said, her mouth full. She swallowed a huge gulp, and then whispered, “Mum’s love potions are in really popular demand ever since the eldritch half of the school saw how lovestruck the judges were. Mum is so pleased, I can’t tell you! We’re going to finally be able to replace our old car. It keeps breaking down.” She flung her arm around Percy’s shoulder. “And it’s all because of you.”
“All’s well that ends well,” said Percy, mimicking something that Cherub used to say all the time back in their old lives.
A scurrying of footsteps came down the garden path, and Mr Bramble exploded out of the undergrowth behind them. He was excitedly holding up the grey parrot perched upon his forefinger.
“Persephone Prince,” he cried excitedly. “Look at this lovely birdie! I found him in my aviary! Is he from you?”
“Lovely Mr Figgy,” said the parrot. “Lovely Mr Figgy Wiggy.”
Mr Bramble lovingly tickled under the bird’s beak. “Mr Bramble,” he told the bird. “You can call me Mr Bramble.”
“Mr Figgy Wiggy,” said the bird.
“I fed him a fig,” said Mr Bramble. “And now he will not stop calling me Mr Figgy Wiggy. What a naughty little fellow!”
Mr Bramble looked with interest at the contents of the tea tray and his eyes lit up at the sight of the butter and clotted cream.
Percy slathered a thick layer of butter onto a scone for him, topped it with jam and cream, and handed it over. It disappeared into his mouth very fast.
“Guess what else he can say Mr Bramble?” said Percy. She tickled the parrot under its beak. “Go on, show him what you can say.”
“Mr Figgy Wiggy,” said the parrot.
“Not that,” Percy chided. “The other thing I taught you, you clever old bird. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
The parrot chuckled. “Mr Bramble,” he said. “Mr Bramble. Mr Bramble lives at…” He recited Percy’s addr
ess, and then he lovingly nibbled Mr Bramble’s ear.
Percy fondly stroked the bird’s head. “His name’s Buddy, Mr Bramble. And he loves going for walks. He is going to go on all your walks with you, and you’ll never get lost again.”
The bird walked sideways up and down Mr Bramble’s finger, and nodded his head as if in agreement.
“Walkies,” he said. “Walkie walkies in lovely London.” He opened his beak, and let out the shrieking wail of a police car siren.
Mr Bramble looked horrified. “Oh no!” he chided. “No more city sounds for you, Mr Buddy. Not in Mr Bramble’s garden. Do you want another fig?”
The parrot nodded his head and made a gobbling sound. Percy and Nan laughed.
“Jeeves is going to love you,” said Percy. “He’s going to make you a big fat fig pie!”
Mr Bramble’s eyes opened wide in excitement. “I must introduce you to Mr Jeeves right away.” He ambled up the garden path towards home.
“You clever little birdie,” they heard him crooning as he went. “Welcome to the family.”
Percy tucked her arm through Nan’s, and handed her a cup of sweet hot tea. Home, she thought. For the first time in a long time, home really did feel like home again.
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What is a Plain Jane to do when she falls head over heels for Lucifer Darkwing?
The new teacher at Humble High has no idea that she is teaching werewolves and succubae, or that her crush, Lucifer Darkwing, is a former Lord of Hell. Jane is determined to steal his heart, but will she find out that Lucifer has no heart to steal?
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