“No,” Elizabeth shushed her. “No, it makes you sound like a woman in love.”
“In love?” Jane turned entirely red. “Do you really think I am in love with Mr. Bingley so soon?”
“I cannot answer that for you, but I had thought you more pleased with him than with any other gentleman you had met.”
“Yes, of course. He is …” Jane’s brow furrowed. “Well, he is probably the most amiable young man I have known, but that is not why I wish to be in his company so much.”
“Why, then?” Elizabeth leaned forward.
Jane shook her head. “I cannot put it into words.”
“Well, I always enjoy being in the company of handsome young men who admire me.” Elizabeth grinned as Jane giggled. “And if I like them back, it is all the better. Who does not enjoy that giddy feeling while it lasts? All too soon, one gets to know him better, and the charm wears off. You discover his table manners are revolting or his suspect his sister of bewitching children into toads and eating them in her chamber each night.”
Jane laughed for several minutes at Elizabeth’s description. Suddenly she sobered. “I do not feel giddy around Mr. Bingley,” she said. “I feel complete.”
Elizabeth was about to observe that very much sounded like real and lasting love to her, but there was a knock on the door. “That must be Mr. Jones,” she said to her sister. “Enter,” she called for the person on the other side of the door.
To Elizabeth’s astonishment, Mr. Darcy walked in, followed by Mr. Jones. Elizabeth leapt up from her chair and ran to the other side of Jane’s bed to block her from Darcy’s view. “Sir!”
Mr. Jones looked anxiously between Darcy and Elizabeth. “If I might continue my examination?”
“Certainly,” Darcy and Elizabeth answered in unison.
Elizabeth stared at Darcy, willing him to leave. He moved to one side, but only to reveal a maid. “Betsy will remain with Miss Bennet. I believe we had something to discuss, Miss Elizabeth.”
Mr. Jones approached Jane, and the maid dashed around Darcy and took a seat in the far corner of the room. If she thought the arrangement unusual, she was clearly too terrified of Mr. Darcy to say anything.
“Shall we?” Darcy motioned to the door.
Elizabeth followed him into the hall. She could not have this discussion here with so little privacy!
“In here,” Darcy opened a door across from Jane’s chamber.
At first, Elizabeth expected another bedroom and breathed a sigh of relief to see a sitting room. It was not entirely proper. After all, bedrooms would be on the other side of the connecting doors to this chamber, but at least there was no bed in this room. She blushed at her preoccupation over unseemly matters while Darcy led her by the elbow to a settee. They stared at one another.
“Why did you run away from me earlier?” he asked.
“I do not know to what you refer.”
“When you saw me with Miss Bingley. I assure you, I am uninterested in the woman. She simply will not leave me alone!”
Elizabeth laughed. “I think everyone except Miss Bingley is aware of your disinterest in her. She is tenacious, I will give her that.”
“Darned obnoxious is what I would say.”
He smiled, and Elizabeth returned it. He really was quite handsome with a smile softening his features.
“So, you were not angry to see me with her?”
“No.”
“Did you change your mind? I read your note, and I had thought you desired a conversation with me.”
Elizabeth twisted her hands. What could she say? She still wished to talk to him about Jane and Bingley. That had been her purpose in that note. However, now that she considered it, she had intentionally left out details. Darcy must now believe it was her heart she wished to discuss.
She had no intention of falling in love with him or offering her heart. However, she now knew that he admired her, and it softened her feelings to him. Understanding some of his looks and actions as she now did, Elizabeth no longer wished to wound him. She did not know how to gently inform a man that she had no interest in being courted by him, especially as the error was all her fault.
“I fully understand your reticence,” Darcy said softly and placed a hand on hers, his thumb stroking over it.
A chill swept over Elizabeth, and she shuddered at the sensation. She could not recall ever touching a man’s bare hand in this way before. For a moment, she thought she might melt. Demanding herself to focus on concluding this business with as little embarrassment as possible, she seized upon his words. “You do?”
“I am often awed into silence in your presence.” He smiled a little. “I am quiet and reserved by nature. I prefer to observe others. I seem to spend more time than other people do considering my words before giving them to the world.” His thumb now drew circles over her hand.
Elizabeth’s brow furrowed. If he always scrutinised what he said, then did that mean what he said now held more significant weight than it would coming from someone else? And yet, she could think of a time when he must not have thought very thoroughly about the words he spoke.
“I confess that this information does not entirely surprise me, although it would not have been my first impression of you.”
“Why is that?” He turned her hand over and now gently caressed her palm.
Thoroughly distracted, Elizabeth stared at their joined hand. What had she been saying? She could hardly think when he did that!
“Or shall I tell you what I thought when I first saw you?”
Elizabeth began to shake her head. She had heard that and did not care to have it repeated. Was this his attempt at courting her? Well, it was not all terrible, but speaking was not his strongest suit.
Darcy had been staring at their hands. He took her silence for encouragement. “The first time I laid eyes on you, I thought you pretty—although not as beautiful as I think you are now. I was in a foul mood and did not wish to dance or speak to anyone. Looking back on my behaviour that evening, I am ashamed of myself.”
She was not prepared for the feeling of tenderness that his words provoked. What had made him so upset?
“It was not until later that I really, truly saw you. Not a nameless woman in a dark corner of a crowded ballroom. I think it was on our third meeting, while we dined at Longbourn. Your mother had said something quite frankly ridiculous, and you rolled your eyes before diffusing the situation. In the next moment, you expressed true kindness for your sister, who was nervous about playing on the pianoforte before the guests. When charades were suggested after dinner, your face lit up in amusement. I had never been more fascinated by a lady and held captive by the many expressions in her eyes.”
Elizabeth took a long breath. “And you say that you are not prone to speeches. What about exaggeration?”
“Never,” he said, and now his hand circled her wrist. “What did you wish to tell me, Elizabeth?”
His eyes met hers, and she found it hard to breathe. Had he leaned closer to her, or had she moved toward him? Her lashes fluttered as Darcy’s head was now a mere inch from hers. He was going to kiss her, and she was going to let him—indeed, she longed for it.
Just before their lips touched, the door banged open. “Oh, there you are, Mr. Darcy!” Miss Bingley screeched.
Chapter Five
Elizabeth jolted at Miss Bingley’s voice and pulled away from Darcy. He blinked slowly, his mind taking in the scene. Was he about to kiss her? He would never kiss a gentlewoman to whom he was not betrothed, and he surely was not about to propose to Elizabeth Bennet. What sorcery did she use on him?
“Mr. Darcy!” Miss Bingley shrieked and lunged for his arm, yanking him away from Elizabeth, where one of his hands still laid on hers. “Come with me, sir.”
“Why?” He turned in irritation to look at the woman.
“You are needed …”
Darcy raised his brow. “Where am I needed? Who requires me?”
“Oh,” Miss Bing
ley chewed her bottom lip and then made her eyes go wide. “I am afraid I have forgotten with all the anxiety, but if you follow me to the drawing room, it will be explained there.”
“That seems ridiculous,” Darcy said.
“Perhaps it was the mail, Miss Bingley?”
Darcy and Miss Bingley both swung their heads to look at Elizabeth. Why was she trying to get rid of him?
“P-pardon?” Miss Bingley asked.
“The mail generally comes at this hour. Perhaps you went searching for Mr. Darcy because he has had an urgent letter?”
“Oh … yes,” Miss Bingley nodded. She kept glancing between Darcy and Elizabeth with a confused expression. “You have had a letter from Miss Darcy.”
Darcy straightened. “Did it come by express?”
“No, it was in the general mail.”
“Well, there is no reason to think it must be urgent. I will read it when I am finished with my conversation with Miss Elizabeth. We were waiting for Mr. Jones to finish his examination of Miss Bennet.”
Miss Bingley continued to stand next to Darcy.
“Thank you for informing me. You may go,” he said dismissively. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Elizabeth frown.
“What do you need to say to Miss Elizabeth that cannot be openly shared with everyone?” Miss Bingley asked with hands on her hips.
Darcy glanced at Elizabeth. Her expression seemed to say that she looked forward to hearing how he would get out of this mess. “It is about this ball that Bingley is planning. I had wanted to do something special for Miss Bennet.”
Elizabeth seemed to perk up at those words. Ah, the way to her heart was through her sister. Well, they were not so different there. No! Why was he considering the way to Elizabeth’s heart?
“Indeed, it will be a surprise for all the young ladies—yourself included,” Elizabeth added.
“I am unsure I approve of surprises. I will be under enough stress hosting this ball—”
“Certainly a woman of your accomplishments can host a private ball in a small town with great success. In fact,” Elizabeth gave a sweet smile. “I have been looking forward to seeing just how superior it is. I am sure it will be the talk of the county for years to come. We shall all wish to know your secrets!”
Miss Bingley smiled at the praise. “Very well. I shall leave you to your scheming. I had better speak with the housekeeper anyway.” She left, leaving the door open.
Darcy looked at it and tapped his fingers on his leg. Would Elizabeth think him a rake with foul intentions if he shut the door? Before he could consider it any longer, she got up and did so. He heard the click of the lock and gulped. Danger! his mind warned.
“Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth began, still standing. It did not look as though she would be joining him on the settee again. “I am afraid you are under a misapprehension about why I wished to speak with you.”
Darcy stood and approached her. He stopped when they were toe to toe. “You claimed it was a matter of your heart. Am I correct in assuming you did not have your heart set on some special surprise for your sister and the other ladies present at Bingley’s ball?”
Elizabeth had to tilt her head up to meet his eyes. He could see her gulp slightly, and her breath rate increase.
“No … no …” she said with a fluttery voice. “Well, yes.”
Darcy smiled a little at her confusion. “Which is it? No?” He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Or yes?”
She shuddered and sighed at the sensation of his breath on her skin.
“No, it is not about a surprise, but yes, it is about my sister.” She looked enormously proud to have completed a sentence without stammering.
He scrutinised her face. She had flushed a little, and her eyes were slightly dilated. She was battling the intensity of their attraction as much as he. However, now was not the time or place. There never will be a right time or place said a small voice in his head. He shoved it aside. The voice was growing tedious. It was always telling him to be on alert, and he was becoming exhausted from fighting his emotion and desire to be with Elizabeth.
Still, he stepped back a little. He needed to slow things down if they were to have a real conversation, as it seemed Elizabeth wanted. “Let us speak plainly then, madam.” He took her elbow and directed her toward the settee. She hesitated. “I will keep an appropriate distance.”
She seemed to weigh his words for an eternity. At last, she nodded and sat on the sofa. “I believe you overheard my conversation the other evening.”
“I understand that you greatly desire Colonel Forster to host a ball.”
Elizabeth gave him a stern look. “Do not play stupid. You know I reference the discussion I had about Jane’s feelings for your friend.”
“How could I know that is what you meant?”
“Just when I thought perhaps there was another side to you, you go and do that!” She shook a finger at him.
“What did I do?” he cried.
“You are criticizing me again! You think I am silly and only care about dancing and balls.”
“I did not say such a thing.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Almost everything you have ever said to me has been about dancing.”
“That is because I would like to dance with you!”
She blinked at him in confusion. “What? No, you do not. I heard you say so to Mr. Bingley the first night you were in the country.”
“I was arrogant! I was in a foul mood, and I do dislike dancing with partners whom I do not know. Can you forgive me?”
“That depends on how you respond to what I next say.”
“Then tell me what you would like me to say, for I would like to claim that dance.”
Elizabeth blushed, and Darcy smiled at the effect.
“Sir, be serious.”
Her voice sounded like a scold, but the twinkle in her eye and the slight smile on her lips told Darcy she was enjoying his playfulness. Still, he had better not press his luck. He felt a great urge to take her hands in his once more, but he had promised not to touch her. “I am prepared to listen to anything you have to say and give it all the respect you deserve. Will you please tell me why you wished to speak to me, Miss Elizabeth?”
He must have chosen the right words because she gave him a genuine smile.
“You know that Jane feels great regard for Mr. Bingley. I should have never spoken so freely in such a public place. She would be mortified to know that someone might have heard. Firstly, I ask that you do not repeat what you heard to anyone.”
“I agree and fully understand her feelings of privacy.”
“Thank you. Next, do you have any insight into your friend’s feelings? It is apparent to me that he likes her a great deal—but we still know so little about his character. Is he fickle? Does he often fall in and out of love? Jane has never been so touched—but there I go again, sharing the details of her heart.” Elizabeth shook her head.
“I do not have that sort of insight, but I will take care to examine him more closely. I had not thought Miss Bennet so attached to Mr. Bingley, but I gather from what you have said that she does not like to openly display her feelings.”
“She is very tender-hearted.” Elizabeth chewed her bottom lip. “Perhaps I should not say this, but I believe you already see what my mother and younger sisters are. Jane never criticises, but she does feel embarrassment because of them. She has learned to hold it all in.” Elizabeth sighed. “I wish I could be more like her.”
“I respect and admire your eldest sister’s ability to hold with propriety. However, I would not wish for you to be any different than you are now.”
“Really? I had thought that my manners were quite unfashionable. Surely in London—”
“London is full of people walking around utterly dead inside, for they care only about what others think of them. They create ridiculous standards to make others feel as miserable as they do.”
Elizabeth raised her brows. “I
have never heard it put so plainly before, but I agree with that estimation of the haute ton, if not the residents of the city in general. However, you did not answer my question if Mr. Bingley often appears to be in love.”
Darcy glanced away from Elizabeth, unable to say words that might pain her.
She must have interpreted his gesture correctly, for she sighed. “Well, until I hear differently from you, I shall continue to hope that his feelings toward Jane are different than the other ladies he has met. After all, is that not how one falls in love?”
“I would not know,” he murmured.
“Nor would I,” she said. “Or at least, I had not thought …”
For a moment, they remained in silent reflection. Darcy had discovered many things during this encounter. Elizabeth did not love him. Why had he been so arrogant to think so? The thought brought him more pain than he had expected. He was not used to caring about the opinions of others. He hated the attention he got from ladies, such as Miss Bingley. Hearing that Elizabeth was not in love with him should be a relief, and yet it was not. It stung, and he did not wish to examine why at the moment.
“Well, I suppose you have earned your dance,” Elizabeth said as she stood. “Which set shall you claim?”
“The last,” Darcy said without hesitation.
“Very well. Thank you for your assistance.” She curtseyed and left quite suddenly.
As Darcy walked toward the drawing room, it occurred to him that they had not discussed what his alleged surprise was to be. However, he thought he had the perfect idea.
Chapter Six
Elizabeth and Jane left Netherfield two days later. To Elizabeth’s extreme pleasure, the apothecary announced that Jane was making an excellent recovery. She was able to go downstairs after dinner on their last two nights in the house.
Blushing, Elizabeth recalled one evening in particular. Miss Bingley, in a bid for Darcy’s attention, asked about the plans for the ball. She hinted at Darcy’s promise of a surprise, but he studiously focused on his book. Next, Miss Bingley requested that Elizabeth walk about the room with her. Darcy’s eyes were drawn to them, but by this time, Elizabeth had come to realise that his frequent looks at her were not out of criticism. When he declined to join them and instead said he preferred to enjoy their figures, Elizabeth had to hide her blush and smile from Miss Bingley.
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