by Angela Mack
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So far, my first week back had gone brilliantly. My timetable was pretty decent, with various ‘free periods’ spread out between my usual classes. I had never had a free period before, but I was quickly learning to love them. Jess, Sophie and I had fallen into the routine of meeting up in the library and studying together. We were trying to get a head-start on the mountain of coursework we had already been set. Towards the end of the week, Ed started joining us along with his best friend Jack. I felt a little sorry for Ed as he was doing his best to capture Jess' affections, but she was adamant he wasn't her type. He had a warm smile and kind eyes with a smattering of freckles across his nose. He was tanned, lean and broadcasted 'nice guy' vibes. But that wasn't enough for Jess, apparently.
Instead of studying in silence like I usually did, the group was relatively chatty, even though the library was supposed to be a 'quiet zone.' I found out that Jack and Ed were pretty funny and often had all three of us girls in fits of giggles, earning us stern glances from the librarian. This of course made us laugh harder and it was a miracle that we didn’t get kicked out all week. I can’t remember the last time I laughed at school so much.
It was Thursday afternoon and I was walking towards the bus stop by myself. For once, I didn’t feel scared or anxious, my spirits lifted after such a positive week. Sophie, Jess and I had been travelling together on the bus since the beginning of term, but not today. They had both joined the girls’ netball team and had training after classes every Thursday. Nothing could convince me to do sports of any kind. I was ridiculously uncoordinated, often resembling a newborn foal trying to walk for the first time. And even when I was cold, I struggled with sweating. I had tried every type of deodorant available and even though I never smelled, I always struggled with dark patches under my arms. This was the reason I rarely wore coloured clothing; sweat patches didn’t show up as much on black or white clothes. Ellie and her gang had taken great pleasure pointing one out whenever they could, so now I was super self-conscious of them.
This is why even when Sophie and Jess begged me to join the team (apparently, with my height, I would be a great goalkeeper), I refused. My face also has an annoying habit of going red within minutes of me doing any kind of exercise. I had no desire to look like a sweaty beetroot. Nope, this year I would only do things that I wanted to do. I was not going to be pressured into situations that made me feel uncomfortable. Not even by my friends, who only had good intentions.
As I neared the bus stop, which was the same bus stop I used to get to and from the florist, I thought about stopping in to say hi to Mary. She was a sweet lady and Buttercups was her pride and joy. When she’d put the ad up in her window for help on a Saturday, I had instantly been drawn to it. The florist was full of bright colours and had a modern yet comforting feel. The sign above the door was lime green on a neon pink background and the arrangements in the window were always over-the-top and eye-catching. Definitely not traditional in any way.
Mary had taught me the basics of flower arranging, so I could put together a simple bunch of flowers using complimentary colours. I left the bolder and more outlandish things to her. Her latest window display was very restrained compared to usual though. The centrepiece was a black wire-framed mannequin. It was the type that had no head or limbs, only the torso. She had constructed a dress made solely out of red roses. The bodice was made of rose petals with little jewels in the centre and the skirt was made of full-stemmed roses. They were layered over the top of each other and fanned outwards. It was amazing. I was desperate to ask her to show me how she did it when I went into work tomorrow.
As I was nearing the doorway, I noticed two young boys standing at the fish and chip shop next door. There were only four shops along the little parade: the chip shop, then Buttercups, the convenience store called Martins, and then a hardware store. The two lads didn’t look very old. I looked around but didn’t see any adults nearby. One of them was in the Gilleford navy blazer, pale blue shirt and navy tie, so he must be a little older than he looked. No more than twelve years old though. The other boy was even younger and was in the St. James Primary School dark green and grey uniform. St James’ was across the road from Gilleford Secondary School. There was a strong resemblance between the two boys, presumably brothers. They both had dark hair and dark eyes and they were currently staring longingly in the fish and chip shop window. The younger one’s nose was almost touching the glass.
“I can’t remember the last time we had fish and chips,” the oldest one murmured.
“Can we get some, pleeeeaaase?” the younger one said, bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement at the idea of it.
“Don't be fucking stupid Georgie, you know we don’t have the money for that. We’re going to wait here for the food shopping, take it home and then I’ll make you something to eat.” The little one, Georgie, turned away from the window, his eyes shining.
“I don’t want Pot Noodle again, Ryan,” he said to his older brother, pouting. “It never fills me up.”
“Yeah, well, it’s cheap,” Ryan muttered, crossing his arms. This little exchange was pulling at my heartstrings. They both looked underweight, with their uniforms hanging off of their thin frames. I fingered the ten pound note I had in my pocket, wondering if they’d accept the money from me. There was something about the older one, Ryan, that made me think not. He looked like the sort to get offended if anyone tried to help him. I started feeling uncomfortable just at the idea of a possible confrontation, but I desperately wanted to put a smile back on Georgie’s face. He was a cute little thing. I don’t know why, but it bothered me that someone so young looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
An idea popped into my head. I strolled past them both into the chip shop. If they were still here when I came back outside, then I had made up my mind that I would do something to help.
Ten minutes later, I came out holding two portions of fish and chips. The boys were still standing outside, talking quietly to each other. I took a deep breath and headed towards them. I could feel my hands starting to tremble. Don’t be ridiculous, Isabel. Get a hold of yourself. They’re only young, nothing to be scared of.
“Would either of you like some fish and chips? I think they must have gotten my order wrong and given me an extra portion by mistake,” I said, holding one of the wrapped bundles out towards them. Georgie instantly broke into a smile but Ryan frowned, looking suspicious.
“We can’t give you any money for it,” he said, eyeing up my outstretched hand.
“That’s OK, they didn’t charge me for it anyway. Like I said, I think they made a mistake,” I rambled, praying that they didn’t hear my voice crack. I was lying through my teeth, but I was determined to see my good deed through (I clearly hadn’t learned my lesson when it came to those). Georgie peeked sideways up at his brother, waiting for his reaction. After a second or two, he quickly lunged at the food and grabbed it out of my hands, before turning and running.
“Georgie! Wait! Where the fuck are you going?” Ryan shouted after him. I smothered a laugh as he ran after his little brother, throwing evil eyes at me over his shoulder. I saw my bus pull up and hopped aboard, feeling pretty happy with myself. I placed the spare portion of fish and chips on my lap, wondering how I would explain it to my parents when I got home.
As the bus travelled down the road a few minutes later, I could see Georgie and Ryan huddled together on a bench, stuffing their faces with chips. I smiled again, proud of myself for not letting my nerves get the better of me and for bringing a little bit of happiness to two little boys. It felt good to not be afraid of people anymore.
Chapter 4
Joshua
WTF? Where are you?
I sent the text and waited impatiently, standing outside with two bags of shopping at my feet and my arms crossed. I started my shift at Martins fifteen minutes ago and DeeDee, the miserable old bat that was supervising today, would get the right ump if I didn't
go back inside soon.
It was early September and unusually warm for the UK at this time of year. Usually overcast, wet and chilly, the past week had been clear, blue skies with lots of sunshine. It wasn't quite shorts and t-shirt weather, but you didn't have to wear a jumper much either. There seemed to be fewer cars on the road today, with people choosing to walk outside in the warmth instead.
I was about to turn back inside and leave the bags in the staff room, when I noticed my brothers running towards me. You would know the three of us were related within seconds of seeing us near each other. They were like little mini versions of me, with the same hair and eye colour. However, they were both small for their age and definitely hadn’t inherited the same height genes as me.
Ryan in particular was very skinny these days, and I looked at him with dismay as I saw how big his blazer looked on him. He was in his second year at Gilleford Secondary School and even though he'd be a teenager next year, he could easily pass for ten years old. Georgie was all skin and bones and his eyes were a little bigger, making his face appear even more gaunt. It really wasn't a good look for a nine-year-old.
I made a mental note to try and stock up on some more carbs for the next week's lot of shopping. I replenished our food stock from Martins every week and I couldn't help but feel guilty over the crappy job I was doing. The boys looked hungry and thin and it was my fault.
"Hey you two, where ya been? You know you're supposed to come and collect the shopping from me on your way home every Thursday," I said. I stretched a smile across my face and tried to appear more upbeat than I felt.
"Blame Georgie," Ryan responded, rolling his eyes at our younger brother. He had a smile on his face though, as if he couldn't quite be annoyed at Georgie. I looked at the little monster, waiting for an explanation.
"A girl offered us some fish and chips for free because they messed her order up and it smelled so good and I didn't think Ryan would let us have it so I snatched it and ran away and we ate it all…" Georgie rushed in one breath, turning a little red with the effort. He looked down at his feet, worried about my reaction.
"And who was this girl?" I asked after I had a moment to digest what he’d told me. I raised my eyebrows at him, not quite sure whether to believe his story or not.
"I don't know, never seen her before," he mumbled. I looked over at Ryan for confirmation, but he shrugged at me.
"Well, accepting food from strangers probably isn't the best idea, but we deserve a little bit of good luck for a change," I said, ruffling Georgie's hair. He looked up at me in relief.
"Thanks for saving me some too, shitheads," I joked with them. Ryan knew I was winding them up, I'd never make them share food with me, but Georgie looked horrified.
"I'm so sorry, we should have…"
"Hey, I'm just messing around, you tit, don't worry about it," I laughed and Georgie relaxed again.
"OK, here ya go," I said, as I handed them a bag of shopping each. "Don't forget to hide the extras…"
"...In the den. Yeah, yeah, we know…" Ryan interrupted.
"Don't give me attitude, boy," I teased and he huffed in response. "There's a surprise in there too," I gestured to the bag Georgie was holding. He started rifling around in the bag, scrunching up his nose as he moved several Pot Noodles out of the way (I made another mental note to swap these for something else next week). He finally located what I'd hidden at the bottom.
"A twin pack of Oreos!" He exclaimed, joy spreading across his face. Ryan rolled his eyes at him, but I knew they were his favourite too.
"They were reduced to less than a quid but make sure you make them last. I don't know when they will be on offer again," I warned. He nodded enthusiastically before ripping the pack open, shoving two in his face. He handed two to Ryan too, who also jammed them in his mouth, before offering me two. I shook my head.
"You both eat them, but once they're gone, they're gone," I said. Georgie and Ryan split my two biscuits between them before Georgie scrunched the packaging closed again, replacing them in the shopping bag.
"I'll be home around nine but come get me straight away if you have any trouble," I said and they both nodded.
"Thanks, Joshy. You're the best." Georgie threw his arms around me unexpectedly. Ryan snickered as he knew I hated Georgie's pet name for me, but I always let it slide.
"You're welcome. Now off you go, see you soon." I waved them off, watching them until they completely disappeared from view, before turning to go back inside.
"You've been out there twenty minutes! If you don't want your pay docked, you can stay later tonight to make up the time," DeeDee raged as soon as I walked through the door. I sighed. I couldn’t be arsed to deal with her right now. I glanced sideways at her as I walked past, working my way towards the back room where I had been putting away the latest delivery.
DeeDee was in her early forties but from looking at her, you’d think she was sixty. Years of chain smoking had left her face etched with deep wrinkles and yellowish skin. Her grey hair was pulled back into a severe bun and she had so much eyeliner on, she resembled a panda. She was close friends with the wife of the owner of Martins, an independent convenience store. This was how despite her poor customer service and complete disregard for the staff, she had worked her way up to supervisor. To her dismay, Ollie’s mum Tracy was friends with the owner himself (a guy called Martin, funnily enough) and had been offered the promotion to assistant manager over DeeDee. DeeDee had been furious, even more so when Tracy’s first act was to hire me as a part-time store assistant. That was a little over two years ago now and DeeDee still hated my guts.
I was lucky that Tracy had taken pity on me and convinced Martin to hire a young lad to help in his store. Ollie and I had been best friends for as long as I could remember, so she was very familiar with me and my family. She looked out for us when she could and her getting me this job was the best thing that could have happened to me.
Martin pays me cash at the end of each week because I'm still at school and work more hours than I am legally supposed to. Unfortunately, cash can be easily snatched away and is difficult to hide. That’s why I keep most of my wages in my locker in the staff room, careful of how much I keep on me at once. I was lucky Martin was willing to bend the rules a bit for me.
I work 3.30 p.m. ‘til 9 p.m. on a Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and then 9 a.m. ‘til 9 p.m. on a Saturday. It's minimum wage so it only works out to about a hundred and twenty pounds a week, but it's enough to keep my brothers clothed and fed and the bills paid. Mostly.
“Oi! I’m talking to you. Are you going to stay late and make up the time tonight, or what?” DeeDee screeched at me as I pushed through the doors to the back storeroom.
“No, you can dock my pay,” I mumbled. What I actually wanted to say was go fuck yourself, but I couldn’t do anything to risk being fired. Plus, Tracy was in charge of submitting payroll at the end of each month. I knew she’d ignore it if my hours looked weird on DeeDee’s shifts.
Tracy was an angel. A single mum to Ollie who knew exactly what it was like to not have anyone to help you raise a family. She knew how unbearable DeeDee could be and tried to put me on as few of her shifts as possible. Still, it wasn’t completely unavoidable considering there were only seven members of staff in total, including Martin.
Not getting the reaction she wanted, DeeDee huffed and walked away, leaving me to it. I rolled my eyes. Only five more hours to go.
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“Hey buddy, how was your evening?” I whispered to Ryan as I shuffled into our bedroom. I flopped down on my bed, turning to look across at him. Our room was small and unremarkable, with a set of bunk beds on the right hand-side. My single bed was pushed up against the wall opposite, leaving about a metre of floor space between them. Ryan was watching a film on a small television mounted on the wall at the end of his bed, the volume turned down low so as not to wake Georgie. Ryan always slept on the bottom bunk and Georgie on the top one.
There we
re no other pieces of furniture in the pale grey room. We only had as much as we did because I had managed to scrounge it for free from either Gumtree or Facebook selling sites. It was amazing what people decided to give away when they were moving house, or bored of something. Or they couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of selling something. I mean, who gives a set of bunk beds away for free? Sure, I had to do some repair work and it had been a bitch to get home (Ollie and I had done six trips of walking the various parts back here from a house a few streets over), but it was free!
There wasn’t enough room for a wardrobe, so the three of us used an airing cupboard just outside the bedroom. We had a couple of stacked plastic boxes for items like underwear and socks, and the rest we hung up using a rail I had fitted. We lived in a three-bedroom house, so there was actually enough space for me to have a bedroom to myself, but I preferred to sleep in the same room as the boys. I could keep an eye on them and make sure they were safe. I eyed the three deadbolts I had fitted on the inside of our door. No, they wouldn’t really do much, but it put Ryan and Georgie at ease a little all the same.
“Fine,” Ryan said, eyes glued to Batman Begins on the TV. We didn’t have an aerial so no TV channels, but I had managed to purchase an old DVD player from a charity shop for a fiver. All three of us adored movies and we often hung out together, watching our favourites over and over again. If I wasn’t working out in the den (a.k.a. the third bedroom), or hanging out with Ollie, I was with my brothers watching films.
“Big Mike come home at all?” I asked.
“Nope, still not back from work.” I sighed in relief and closed my eyes. I was hungry but couldn’t be bothered to move, and I definitely didn’t want to go all the way back downstairs to the kitchen. I heard Ryan’s bed squeak and opened one eye, peeking over at him. The light was off in the room so I could only make him out by the glow of the TV. He shuffled to the edge of his bed and reached his arm underneath, searching for something. A minute later, he pulled out a plate with a cheese sandwich on and a slice of malt loaf, along with a mug of water.
