by Angela Mack
"What's your other brother's name?"
"Josh." I tapped harder on the door and bent down to peer through the letterbox.
"Ryan? Josh? It's er...Izzy. I have your brother Georgie with me. Can you let him in please?" I called out. I felt a little awkward. I didn't actually know this little boy, or his family, and my parents didn't know where I was. Not my smartest idea.
I was about to give up when I heard something move inside. I straightened up, waiting side by side with Georgie for someone to answer. It must have been at least five minutes before whoever it was made their way to the front door. The door swung inwards and I was not prepared for who was in front of me. When Georgie had said his brother’s name was Josh, I had not expected to see morose Joshua Bugg from school. He had on a pair of jeans and that was it. Boy, he was ripped. Although slim with narrow hips, the outline of his abs was prominent. His chest was broad and toned and his shoulders rounded with muscle. I could feel myself getting a little flustered until I noticed the bruises. He had a nasty looking purple bruise on his side, spreading up under his armpit. His left shoulder was smothered in bruises too, leaving a trail of glorious technicolour. Ouch.
"Shit. Your face…" I trailed off, not knowing how to finish. His left cheek was so dark it was almost black and there was a split in the centre, a trail of dried blood streaked down to his chin. His nose also looked swollen with dried blood around his nostrils. He was swaying on his feet, leaning heavily on the door frame. I was frozen, not knowing quite what to do. He was looking at me, but it was if he was staring straight through me, not registering that I was actually there.
The next thing I knew, he started sliding down towards the floor. I jumped over the threshold and grabbed his arm, slinging it around my shoulders in a desperate attempt to keep him upright.
"Josh!" Georgie cried, tears streaming down his face. I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead with the effort of holding Josh up.
"Georgie, can you show me to your brother’s room please?" I asked through gritted teeth. "He needs to rest." Georgie darted past us both, through a tiny kitchen and towards a narrow staircase. I knew my prayers for a downstairs bedroom were going to go unanswered. Georgie turned at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for me to follow.
"OK Josh, I know you're out of it, but I need you to do your best to help me help you. You're heavy and I can't get you to your room without help," I said. He grunted in response and together we shuffled over to the stairs. The ascent was slow, painfully so. By the time we reached the top, we were both sweating and my legs were shaking with the exertion.
Josh suddenly collapsed onto all fours and threw up on the floor in front of him. I noticed then a nasty looking wound on the back of his head, blood matted in his hair. Boy, I was way out of my depth here.
"We should call an ambulance, you need to see a doctor…"
"NO!" It was the only thing he'd said since he answered the door and he screamed it, turning abruptly to look at me with pleading eyes. It was heart-wrenching.
"Come on, almost there." I bent down and wrapped his arm around my shoulder again. I took shallow breaths through my mouth, praying that the smell of vomit wouldn't make me heave too.
"Georgie, do you think you can help us a little bit?" I asked. The tears were still streaming but he nodded, trying to lift Josh from the other side. I don't know if he genuinely helped or if just his presence spurred Josh on, but it was easier than I thought to get him back to a standing position. We all lurched forward, having to stay close and at a slight angle in order to fit through the slender hallway. We finally slipped through a doorway and Josh stumbled onto a small, single bed. He was panting with his eyes closed and his entire body was covered in a thin sheet of sweat.
"I think you have a concussion and probably need some stitches…" I trailed off as he opened his eyes to glare at me.
"No. Doctors." He was panting, face screwed up in pain. I was torn. Should I call an ambulance anyway? He was watching me through narrowed eyes, as if he knew what I was contemplating. I'm going to give it one hour and if he hasn't improved, I'm calling for help. I nodded to myself, feeling better now I had a plan.
"Georgie, can you get your brother an empty bag or a bowl, and a big glass of water?" I asked. He nodded and returned moments later with a big plastic bowl and a large mug. I set the bowl on the floor next to Josh's bed, in case he needed to throw up again.
"I need you to sit up a little. You need to stay hydrated." I moved closer, holding the mug of water out to him. He inched upwards, wincing with the movement. I lifted the mug to his lips, tipping it slowly so the liquid trickled into his mouth. I concentrated on keeping the mug steady, but my eyes flicked upwards, connecting with his. They were shining and the depth of despair there hit me like a train. I had no idea who this boy was or what demons he was fighting, but I was overwhelmed with the urge to help him and his family. An intense burning of concern bubbled up, lodging in my throat as if I was choking.
I heard the front door slam downstairs and Georgie yelped in surprise. Josh sat bolt upright, clutching his head and crying out at the sudden movement. Someone began climbing the stairs and Georgie started shaking. He looked completely terrified. What the hell is going on?
I turned to the doorway as Ryan strolled in, freezing in his tracks when he saw all of us.
"What the fuck…?" He whispered.
“Where were you?” Georgie barrelled over to his brother, shoving his shoulders. Ryan looked bewildered. He kept looking from me, to Josh, to Georgie and back.
“I had detention. I text you,” he said, frowning at Georgie.
“I forgot my phone and keys when we... left so quickly…” Georgie said, darting a look back at me. Ryan sighed.
“Sorry, little man. I forgot to tell you yesterday that I had detention and didn’t realise you didn’t have your phone,” Ryan said. “Why are you here?” he directed at me, his brow furrowed and his face riddled with suspicion. I noticed he had a small cut above his right eye, surrounded by a pale green bruise.
“I saw your brother on my way home. He looked upset and didn’t know where either of you were,” I shrugged.
“So you walked him back home out of the goodness of your heart?” he replied, eyebrows raised and voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Pretty much,” I said, folding my arms and staring him down.
“Stop being mean to Izzy. She bought me sweets and she carried Josh up here by herself,” Georgie said, voice rising. Ryan looked over to Josh, getting a proper look at him for the first time since he entered the room.
“Shit, bro.” He rushed past me and stood by the side of Josh’s bed. Josh gave him a weak smile.
“Looks worse than it is,” he winked.
“Yeah right…” Ryan muttered, eyes going glassy.
“OK, who’s hungry?” I asked after a moment of tense silence. “Because I am starving.” Georgie nodded eagerly.
“Er...there’s probably not much in the cupboards…” Ryan said, avoiding my eyes.
“That’s OK, I’m a terrible cook. I was going to order pizza in?” Ryan’s eyes widened and Georgie started jumping up and down on the spot. I looked over to Josh, but his eyes were closed and I could see his chest rising evenly.
“I’m going to order pizza, you two are going to keep an eye on Josh. If he starts looking worse, you tell me straight away, OK?” I asked. They both nodded. “When will your parents be back? Shall I order some for them too?” Ryan and Georgie looked at each other, silently communicating something.
“Mum’s not around and Big...dad’s working late at the factory,” Ryan muttered.
“OK, no problem, I’ll go order it now. Any requests?” I asked, smiling in what I hoped was a reassuring way.
“Stuffed crust and lots of pepperoni?” Georgie asked, grinning. I laughed and nodded. I looked to Ryan but he shrugged, as if he didn’t quite believe I was going to order it. I walked out the room and back downstairs to the kitchen, dialling the pizza place as I
went. Once I had placed an order for three large pizzas, garlic bread and a bottle of diet coke and paid over the phone, I started sifting through the kitchen cupboards for some bleach and a cloth. To be honest, I’m not sure you could call it a kitchen. There were only five or six cupboards lined up against one wall, a sink and an oven. Most of the doors were hanging off their hinges or missing altogether, and you probably couldn’t fit more than two people in here at once.
I didn’t find any bleach but did locate some washing up liquid and a dented plastic bucket. I loaded it up with warm soapy water and grabbed a clean(ish) sponge, heading upstairs to where Josh had thrown up. I scrubbed it clean, trying my best to ignore the smell. Now there was a very clean patch on the carpet and the rest of it looked terrible. I frowned at it, not really wanting to spend more time cleaning but at the same time, not feeling good about leaving it in such a state. Sod it. I spent the next twenty minutes or so cleaning the rest of the carpet until I had built up a sweat again. As I neared the end of the hallway, one of the bedroom doors was ajar. I peeked in and saw a very unkempt double bed, with clothing strewn everywhere. There was also a broken beer bottle on the floor, dirty plates and food wrappers scattered all over the place, as well as an ashtray spilling over with cigarette butts. I pulled the door closed quietly until it clicked. There was something about the room that gave me the creeps. In fact, the whole house made me feel...uncomfortable. I was extremely appreciative for the spacious living my parents' house afforded me, practically palatial compared to this place, and how clean they kept it. Josh’s house screamed neglect and poverty and although I’m sure Josh would be mortified if he knew, I felt a deep pang of pity and sadness for him and his brothers. I mean, they had three beds crammed into one bedroom for Christ’s sake, and barely any room to move.
My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket. Meet you at 7 p.m. for 8 p.m. showing of Pulse? It was a text from Sophie and I noticed that it was 5 p.m. already. I didn’t know how long I’d be here, but I definitely didn’t feel like going to the cinema anymore. Sorry not feeling too good. Do you mind if I give it a miss tonight? Sophie replied within seconds. No course not! Everything OK? Let me know if you need anything. I smiled. I still couldn’t believe that I had a genuine friend that cared about me. Just a bit overtired I think. Speak to you tomorrow. Have fun xxx
I saw I had two texts from my mum too, asking if I was alright as I was late home. Sorry forgot to text you. Lost track of time in the library and am going to stop by Sophie’s on the way home for some help with Biology xx I didn't feel comfortable lying to her. Sure, I had lied by omission before, but purposely not telling the truth was different. I'm not sure why I lied but my instinct told me to keep my mouth shut. For now.
OK sweetheart. Try and remember to let me know next time, I was worried! Let me know if you want picking up xx
Sorry! Thanks. Love you :) xx
Love you too :) xx
There was a knock at the door and Georgie came running past me.
“Wow, that was quick!” he said, desperate to get to the door. I dumped the murky water (which I had to change three times whilst I was cleaning) down the kitchen sink and put everything back where I found it. Georgie balanced the food in his arms and carried it all up the stairs and into the bedroom. I laughed as he struggled to keep a hold of it all, helping him with the pizza boxes and handing one to Ryan. Josh looked like he was still soundly sleeping.
“This has pineapple on…” Ryan said, raising his eyebrows in disgust at the open box in his hand.
“Yup, I love ham and pineapple pizza,” I said, grabbing the box from him and switching it for the BBQ chicken pizza instead. He opened the box, licked his lips and started shovelling the pizza into his mouth immediately. Georgie was doing the same, pizza sauce dripping down his chin.
“Hey, hey, make sure you save your brother some!” I gestured to Josh with my chin. They both murmured their agreement, not slowing down even a little. I sat quietly, eating my own pizza. God, this is surreal. A few hours ago, I had only spoken to Josh once, which hadn’t gone particularly well, and now I was sitting in his bedroom eating pizza with his brothers. I looked over at him and watched him rest peacefully. What had he gotten himself into? I ran through the possible scenarios in my head. Owed his drug dealer money? Owed money to a loan shark? Joined a gang and this was some kind of weird initiation? I couldn’t make sense of any of it; the squalid living conditions, the bare cupboards, the bruises and the tears. And where the hell were their parents? What had I gotten myself into?
Chapter 6
Joshua
Fuck. My. Life.
There was a family of goblins wearing steel toe capped boots jumping around in my skull. I fluttered open my eyes, groaning at the pounding in my head as I tried to roll over. My cheek was throbbing and my ribs ached something awful. My nose started twitching. What was that smell?
“Morning,” Ryan called softly from his bed. I blinked rapidly, willing my vision to focus.
“Hey,” I smiled. Ryan’s eyes were red and he looked shattered. “Did you sleep OK? You don’t look great.”
“Ha! Look who’s talking! You look like shit,” he laughed, but then his face grew serious for a moment. "Seriously, we're worried about you. We took turns watching you all night. Georgie wouldn't sleep unless I promised to regularly check you were still breathing." Tears sprung to my eyes and it took several seconds of looking up at the ceiling to pull myself together.
"I'm not going anywhere, little bro," I said, knowing it was a promise I might not be able to keep. I looked up at Georgie's bunk, watching the peaceful expression on his sleeping face. They needed me to survive. I would survive.
I spied some pizza boxes stacked up in the corner and my nose twitched again.
"Don't worry we saved you some. There's about half a pepperoni left and same again of that weird pizza with pineapple on that Izzy had." Shit. Isabel. I vaguely remembered her helping me up to the bedroom but that was it. What was she doing here?
"How did a girl from my sixth form, who I have barely spoken to, end up over here?" I frowned at Ryan.
"Hey, don't blame me! Georgie is the one who befriended her and convinced a pretty girl to walk him home. He's got more game than you!" He chuckled.
"It's not funny, Ryan. How much does she know? Can she keep her mouth shut? Do you want to end up in care and the three of us separated?" I winced as I became more animated, the pain ramping up as I grew more alert. It wasn't fair to burden him with my worries, but he needed to know how serious our situation was.
"I don't know! I was just relieved you were still alive when I got home and that I didn't go to sleep starving for once!" He was sitting up now, chest rising rapidly and angry tears filling his eyes. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn't want to fight with him and it hurt that I knew he meant every word. I was doing a shit job of looking after the pair of them.
"Why are you shouting so early in the morning?" Georgie stirred, yawning and stretching. Neither of us answered him.
"Shit, is that the time?" I asked as I caught sight of the time on my phone. "I'm going to be late for work." I didn't have a fucking clue how I was going to make it through the day. Just the idea of standing up on my feet all day made me feel nauseous, but we needed the money.
"I called Tracy last night and told her you wouldn't be in, that you were sick." Ryan glared at me, daring me to argue.
"You know we rely on that money, Ryan."
"Yeah well, we need you more. Izzy thinks you have a concussion and you need to rest."
"I didn't realise she was a fucking doctor as well as a saint," I grumbled.
"Hey, she's my friend. Be nice!" Georgie piped up, suddenly more awake than he was five seconds ago.
"She is not your friend, Georgie. I don't know what she is, or why she is sticking her nose in our business, but teenage girls don't befriend nine-year olds." I rolled my eyes at him.
"Yes she is! She told me so l
ast night. She said she was a friend and to call her if I ever needed something." The kid actually stuck his tongue out at me.
"Oh yeah? And how are you supposed to call her?"
"Err, with my phone dummy…" I'd given both of them a phone as soon as they were old enough to use one. They had a tiny screen and an old-fashioned keypad, but they'd be able to call if they ever needed help.
"You don't have her number."
"Yes I do."
"No, you don't."
"Yes I DO! She gave it to me before she left yesterday," he smiled triumphantly.
"Me too…" Ryan muttered.
"What the fuck?!" This was ridiculous.
"And you too! Look," Georgie pointed to a note on the floor next to my bed. I slowly reached for it, careful to minimize the pain from moving.
Josh,
Here's my number. If you or your brothers need anything, please let me know.
Izzy
Who the fuck was this girl? I didn't understand her actions at all. We barely knew each other! Someone started knocking on the front door. Oh Christ, what now?
"I'll get it." Ryan went to move.
"No, no. You know I don't like you answering the door. I'll do it." I knew it was silly, but it was rare for someone to knock and I was paranoid it would one day be a social worker or something. And if one of the boys answered the door, they'd be able to just grab them and run, stealing them away from me.
"But you need to rest. Izzy said…"
"Will you shut up about Izzy!" I snapped. I stood up gradually, testing to see how it would feel. Fucking awful, was the answer. But I didn't feel nauseous at least. And I really needed to pee anyway. I sluggishly made my way to the tiny, grubby bathroom and after a couple of minutes, headed to the stairs. I stopped before descending, thinking the landing looked different but couldn't quite put my finger on it. I squinted, looking around. Holy shit, has the carpet always been cream? Our once grey carpet was the cleanest it had ever been. It looked completely out of place. I don't know how I didn't notice straight away. The person at the door started knocking again, growing impatient.
