CHAPTER X.
Seest thou how gayly my young maister goes?--Bishop Hall's Satires.
Qui vit sans folie, n'est pas si sage qu'il croit.--La Rochefoucault.
I lost no time in presenting my letters of introduction, and they wereas quickly acknowledged by invitations to balls and dinners. Paris wasfull to excess, and of a better description of English than those whousually overflow that reservoir of the world. My first engagement was todine with Lord and Lady Bennington, who were among the very few Englishintimate in the best French houses.
On entering Paris I had resolved to set up "a character;" for I wasalways of an ambitious nature, and desirous of being distinguished fromthe ordinary herd. After various cogitations as to the particular one Ishould assume, I thought nothing appeared more likely to be remarkableamong men, and therefore pleasing to women, than an egregious coxcomb:accordingly I arranged my hair into ringlets, dressed myself withsingular plainness and simplicity (a low person, by the by, would havedone just the contrary), and putting on an air of exceeding languor,made my maiden appearance at Lord Bennington's. The party was small,and equally divided between French and English: the former had been allemigrants, and the conversation was chiefly in our own tongue.
I was placed, at dinner, next to Miss Paulding, an elderly young lady,of some notoriety at Paris, very clever, very talkative, and veryconceited. A young, pale, ill-natured looking man, sat on her left hand;this was Mr. Aberton, one of the attaches.
"Dear me!" said Miss Paulding, "what a pretty chain that is of your's,Mr. Aberton."
"Yes," said the attache, "I know it must be pretty, for I got it atBrequet's, with the watch." (How common people always buy their opinionswith their goods, and regulate the height of the former by the mereprice or fashion of the latter.)
"Pray, Mr. Pelham," said Miss Paulding, turning to me, "have you got oneof Brequet's watches yet?"
"Watch!" said I: "do you think I could ever wear a watch? I know nothingso plebeian. What can any one, but a man of business, who has nine hoursfor his counting-house and one for his dinner, ever possibly want toknow the time for? An assignation, you will say: true, but (here Iplayed with my best ringlet) if a man is worth having, he is surelyworth waiting for!"
Miss Paulding opened her eyes, and Mr. Aberton his mouth. A prettylively French woman opposite (Madame D'Anville) laughed, and immediatelyjoined in our conversation, which, on my part, was, during the wholedinner, kept up exactly in the same strain.
"What do you think of our streets?" said the old, yet still animatedMadame de G--s. "You will not find them, I fear, so agreeable forwalking as the trottoirs in London."
"Really," I answered, "I have only been once out in your streets, atleast a pied, since my arrival, and then I was nearly perishing for wantof help."
"What do you mean?" said Madame D'Anville.
"Why, I fell into that intersecting stream which you call a kennel, andI a river. Pray, Mr. Aberton, what do you think I did in that dangerousdilemma?"
"Why, got out again as fast as you could," said the literal attache.
"No such thing, I was too frightened: I stood still and screamed forassistance."
Madame D'Anville was delighted, and Miss Paulding astonished. Mr.Aberton muttered to a fat, foolish Lord Luscombe, "What a damnationpuppy,"--and every one, even to the old Madame de G--s, looked at me sixtimes as attentively as they had done before.
As for me, I was perfectly satisfied with the effect I had produced,and I went away the first, in order to give the men an opportunity ofabusing me; for whenever the men abuse, the women, to support aliketheir coquetry and the conversation, think themselves called upon todefend.
The next day I rode into the Champs Elysees. I always valued myselfparticularly upon my riding, and my horse was both the most fieryand the most beautiful in Paris. The first person I saw was MadameD'Anville. At that moment I was reining in my horse, and conscious,as the wind waved my long curls, that I was looking to the very bestadvantage, I made my horse bound towards her carriage, which sheimmediately stopped, and speaking in my natural tone of voice, andwithout the smallest affectation, I made at once my salutations and mycourt.
"I am going," said she, "to the Duchesse D--g's this evening--it is hernight--do come."
"I don't know her," said I.
"Tell me your hotel, and I'll send you an invitation before dinner,"rejoined Madame D'Anville.
"I lodge," said I, "at the Hotel de--, Rue de Rivoli, au second atpresent; next year, I suppose, according to the usual gradations in thelife of a garcon, I shall be au troisieme: for here the purse and theperson seem to be playing at see-saw--the latter rises as the formerdescends."
We went on conversing for about a quarter of an hour, in which Iendeavoured to make the pretty Frenchwoman believe that all the goodopinion I possessed of myself the day before, I had that morningentirely transferred to her account.
As I rode home I met Mr. Aberton, with three or four other men; withthat glaring good-breeding, so peculiar to the English, he instantlydirected their eyes towards me in one mingled and concentrated stare."N'importe," thought I, "they must be devilish clever fellows if theycan find a single fault either in my horse or myself."
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