by Kat Mizera
“So…how do you want to do this? I can lie down if it’s easier for you?”
“When you watch it in porn, the woman is always on her knees.”
“Porn is technically correct, like Peg A goes into Slot B or C, but that’s all for show. That’s not always real. I can lie flat on my back and you can suck my dick just fine without adding the discomfort of being on your knees.”
“But I want to be on my knees…” I wanted to try everything, at least a dozen times, before I discounted anything.
He unzipped his cargo pants and stepped out of them. “Then far be it for me to stop you. I just want you to know that everything you see on porn isn’t always realistic.”
I stared at his bobbing erection and sighed with excited anticipation. But I was nervous. I knew he wouldn’t be upset if I did it wrong, and after my banana lesson and watching porn, I had an idea of what I was doing, but it was more about pleasing him the way he always pleased me.
“You’ve touched me a thousand times,” he said softly. “Use your hand at first. It all feels good, love.”
I wrapped my hand around him. He was right, I’d done it more times than I could count since we’d started sleeping together, but this was different. It had never been in front of my face before. I rubbed my thumb over the tip, noting the drops of arousal seeping from it.
“Tastes a little salty,” he said. “But I never thought it was bad…and no, I’ve never sucked a guy’s dick, but I’ve kissed a woman who still had my come in her mouth.”
If I waited any longer, I would psych myself out, so I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I wrapped my lips around the tip and circled it with my tongue. He was right about the taste. A little salty, tangy, but not bad at all. In fact, I liked it. I took him a little deeper and his sharp intake of breath told me he liked it too.
“Goddamn, that’s sexy,” he growled.
I cut my eyes up to his and the look on his face as he watched me sucking him off made my panties a little damp. Maybe a lot damp.
I sucked harder, took him a little deeper, trying to figure out how women did this without choking. I loved the power I felt as I did it. I was in control, despite the fingers he’d dug into my hair, and when I hallowed out my cheeks, his groan was all the encouragement I needed.
“Touch me,” he whispered. “My balls, my legs…everywhere.”
I followed his direction, letting him guide me, and before long he was gliding in and out of my mouth, going a little deeper each time.
“Relax your throat,” he whispered. Then he pushed back further than he had before, and while I gagged a little, he pulled back before trying again. “That’s it, baby…just like that… Fuck, that’s perfect…fuck!”
It felt like he exploded inside of me, his semen dripping down my throat as I coughed around him. But I didn’t move, didn’t stop, one hand wrapped around the base of his shaft, the other lightly squeezing his balls.
I was startled when he pulled out and immediately lifted me in his arms and tossed me on the bed.
“Time for me to reciprocate,” he whispered, kissing me.
32
Axel
Her first blow job wasn’t the homecoming I’d been expecting, but it was amazing. Fuck, she was amazing. The sex was un-fucking-believable but it was more than that. The way she’d tended to my sore ribs before anything else, her endearing shyness, even the fact that she’d practiced on a damn banana first so she wouldn’t disappoint me… I was in love for the first time in forever. Not since college, and even then, it was nothing like what I felt now. She’d very quickly become a major part of my world and as I watched her sleep that morning, it became abundantly clear we needed to have a talk about the future.
Not marriage- and baby-type stuff, but making the leap to officially move in together, teaching her to drive so she would have a modicum of independence, and what our future might look like going forward. Especially if we did get to the marriage and babies portion of the program. I’d wanted to keep things casual for a while, but we were past that already. Because of the nature of my work, and the nontraditional lifestyle I led, we had to talk about all those things.
“I like it better when you wake me up by going down on me,” she murmured. “Knowing you’re watching me sleep isn’t as much fun.”
I chuckled. “Then let’s do that.” I whipped off the sheet and moved down her naked body. It took me less than five minutes to make her come with my mouth and then I was inside of her, doing it all over again.
It was nearly an hour before we could breathe again and I dragged her into the shower. I should have been working out, but it wasn’t mandatory, and after being gone for seven days, I wanted to spend a little time with my girl.
My girl.
Damn, it rolled off the tongue like honey. Kind of like her pussy. I loved oral sex, but that had reached a new level with Solange too. Just like everything else when we were together.
“We leave for the school around nine,” she told me as she rinsed her hair. “What are your plans today?”
“The usual. Security briefing, some paperwork, see what’s going on. We brought a prisoner back with us last night that Sandor and Erik are dealing with this morning, so I’ll have to play it by ear.”
“You brought a prisoner here?”
“The leader of the Brat, Frederick Polat, and we caught him at the compound.”
Her eyes widened. “What will happen to him?”
“Initially, he’ll be treated like royalty, his wounds tended to, fed and cleaned up. Then he meets with Erik, Sandor and Daniil to try to figure out what the fuck the Brat think they’re doing. Depending on what happens, we have options. Worst case, he’ll be thrown in prison for all the shit they pulled in Vinake, but that’s the last choice because that might spark all kinds of retribution. Best case is he agrees to go elsewhere to make his money. Most likely, it’ll be somewhere in the middle. Erik is a pretty masterful negotiator, but these guys aren’t politicians—they’re thugs.”
“I wish I could listen in,” she said softly. “I’d love to hear how those types of things are worked out.”
I’d just stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself, but I glanced over at her. “Yeah? You’re interested in that kind of thing?”
“I don’t think I want to be a negotiator, but I’d love to see a serious negotiation play out in person.”
“I probably can’t make that happen this time, but you never know what the future holds.”
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said, stepping out and taking a towel from me.
“Sure.” I headed to the sink to brush my teeth.
“Can you tell me what it’s like to be a Royal Protector?” She stood beside me at the sink, reaching for her own toothbrush and not looking at me.
“Sure. What do you want to know?” I wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but I didn’t have any secrets about my work. Nothing currently going on was classified and she was part of our inner circle now anyway.
“I might want to be one,” she blurted out.
I stared at her in confusion. “You want to be…a Royal Protector?” I couldn’t fathom the idea. “Why?”
“Because it’s noble. Something I can do not just for myself, but for my country. My king.”
I really had no idea what to say. I was in no way prepared for this so I rinsed the toothpaste out of my mouth, trying to think of how to respond.
“You don’t think I can do it,” she said after a moment, disappointment flashing through her eyes.
“It’s not that,” I said slowly. “It’s just…hard. I mean, all of us have intense military training. The kind of training you don’t get by doing a couple of years in the Limaji military. Natalia is getting ready to do six months in the Middle East with a U.S. military unit. Erik has worked out a type of exchange program where one of their guys is coming here to get a taste of European-style military training and she’s going to a war zone. You’
d have to do the same thing at some point. And that would be after you did your regular two years, plus you’d need to get your degree.” I paused, watching her face.
Shit. I had to be careful because I saw trouble brewing behind those sapphire eyes.
“I know it wouldn’t be easy, and I don’t know that I want to do all that, but it sounds like you don’t think I should. Or that I would fail.”
“I never said anything about you failing,” I protested. “I’m concerned. I don’t know how I’d feel about you going to the Middle East on an actual tour of duty.”
“You did it,” she shot back. “Multiple times. I realize I’m a woman, but it shouldn’t matter. Lots of women are in combat now.”
“Yeah, but—”
“So it’s a double standard because it’s me? Because we’re in a relationship?” Her eyes flashed with something akin to anger.
“Well, yes.” I wasn’t sure what to do but be honest. Even though she was definitely starting to get pissed. This was going to turn into our first fight if I wasn’t careful, and while that might be fun under different circumstances, this was apparently important to her so I needed to watch what I said. “Listen, it’s not about your abilities. It’s about time and experience and lifestyle. You could do all the things you need to do, but even if you do them all, there’s no guarantee you’ll qualify. You could train for the physical aspect and get your degree and put in your time in the military, but there’s also a psychological aspect, something that you can’t learn. Either you have it or you don’t.”
“And you’re saying I don’t?” She glared at me, eyes flashing, hands on her hips.
Almost any other topic and it would’ve been awesome to pick a fight and then follow it up with rough but loving make-up sex. Unfortunately, something told me that wasn’t going to work here.
“I’m saying there’s a darkness to those of us that do this job—something a little twisted inside of us that makes us able to do the things we need to do. Like kill someone without letting it keep us up at night. I don’t see that darkness in you, baby. I see light and love and kindness.”
“You talk about this damn darkness inside of you all the time and it’s bullshit,” she snapped. “You’re not dark. You’ve seen dark things, maybe done them as well, but at the end of the day, you’re a wonderful man with a wonderful soul. I couldn’t love a man who was anything else!”
With that, she flounced out of the room without looking back.
I’d tried to apologize but she had to leave and I had a dozen things to do, so though I’d told her I was sorry I upset her, we hadn’t had a chance to talk things out. I didn’t know what the hell she was thinking, wanting to be a Royal Protector, so after the morning briefing, I went to talk to Joe about it.
“Hey, Joe, you got a minute?”
“Just about one,” he said, gathering up some papers. “I need to join Erik, Sandor and Daniil for a quick private meeting before their official meeting disguised as lunch with that Frederick asshole.”
“Okay, never mind. It can wait.”
“I have a minute,” he said, meeting my gaze. “This have something to do with Solange?”
“She wants to be a Royal Protector!” I said, throwing up my hands. I’d had to hold in all of my emotions when she’d brought it up, but here with Joe I could vent my frustration with the idea. “I mean, what the fuck? I get that she respects what we do and wants to do something important in her life now that she’s experiencing a whole new world, but does she not understand what it means to be one of us?”
Joe didn’t say anything, merely listening as I let it all out.
“She could be killed! We were all military and saw combat, except Natalia, and we’re sending her to the fucking Middle East now! How can Solange even be considering this?”
“You done?” Joe cocked his head.
“Oh, don’t tell me you think this is a good idea?” I demanded.
“I don’t,” he admitted. “But that’s not for you or me to decide. This is her life, her decision. I don’t think she’s right for the job. She’s smart, determined, and probably tougher than we give her credit for, but I don’t believe she’s cut out for it. What I think is that we need people dedicated to things like cybersecurity, with a division of the Protectors that doesn’t participate in the actual bodyguard duties, but provides support in other ways.”
I hesitated but then nodded. “Yeah, that’s a good option. But how do I convince her of that?”
He met my gaze. “You don’t. You let her figure it out. It’s not for you or me to decide. Yes, I have a say in whether or not she gets in, but not whether or not she tries. And if you keep her from following a dream, even if she falls flat on her face, she won’t ever forgive you. I don’t know much about women, but I know plenty about relationships, and that’s a recipe for disaster.”
His phone buzzed and he looked down. “Shit. There’s a situation. They need us upstairs.”
We took the stairs because it was faster than waiting for the elevator, and I was impressed a guy almost twice my age could keep up with me. We were headed to Erik’s private office and found him on the phone, talking furiously in Limaji. He spoke English more than fifty percent of the time, so I was surprised to hear him going off on someone in his native tongue. He was talking way too fast for me to follow but then he slammed his phone down on his desk and glared at us.
“There’s been another fucking fire! They burned down Braksa.”
“What part of Braksa?” Joe asked, frowning.
“All of it. The whole fucking town.”
33
Solange
I was distracted at work that day, equal parts annoyed and hurt by Axel’s reaction to my wanting to explore the possibility of becoming a Royal Protector. Lennox was one and Natalia was training to be one, so why not me? Granted, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do something so dangerous as a full-time job, but why did he have to act like I couldn’t cut it?
Probably because I couldn’t. I could get into shape and learn how to fight, but I was hesitant about carrying a gun and actually using it to kill someone. In a life-or-death situation, where it was them or someone I loved, I had no doubt I’d be able to, but day in and day out, knowing that was a possibility would wear on me emotionally. I wasn’t so naïve that I hadn’t considered that.
The thing was, I wanted to find out, and Axel’s reaction made me even more determined to do so. It was childish, and we probably needed to talk about it, but I was angry now. I expected more from him. Xander had been far gentler and diplomatic about pointing out how difficult it would be, but Axel’s gut reaction had been to push back, and that worried me. What else would he try to keep me from doing it?
“You okay?” Shannon perched on the edge of my desk curiously. “You’ve been really quiet today.”
I shrugged. “I had an argument with Axel and I’m trying to decide how mad to be.”
Shannon chuckled. “What happened? Maybe I can offer perspective.”
I hesitated but then told her everything. “So it’s not like we had a big fight, but it feels like he should be more supportive. Or am I being sensitive?”
“He should be more supportive,” she said automatically, “but I’ll say I think Ace would react the same way if I told him I wanted to be a Royal Protector. It’s a hard, scary job and for people like us, who don’t have military backgrounds, I don’t think it’s feasible. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try, or even dig deeper into what it would entail, but I wouldn’t be too hard on him for his reaction. He cares about you and these guys are protectors to their core—it’s part of them, especially with those they love.”
“You’re right. I’ve been pretty sheltered my whole life and now that I’ve gotten not just a taste of freedom but also the endless possibilities before me, I may be aiming a little too high.”
“There’s no such thing,” Shannon said gently. “As long as you keep your expectations realistic.”
�
�Would you do it?”
“Become a Royal Protector?” Shannon’s eyes widened. “No way in hell. I think Ace and the others are some of the strongest, most amazing people I’ve ever known, but it’s not for me. I would hate that kind of pressure, being on alert all the time, literally putting myself in front of bullets on a regular basis.”
“Ladies, is it lunchtime?” Logan came in rubbing his hands together. He was quite the joker, putting plastic bugs on our desks, hiding things like all the staplers or mouse pads, and generally making us laugh. Like the other Protectors, he was strong and capable, but he had a humorous side the others didn’t.
“How can you always be hungry?” I asked him.
“’Cause I’m still growing,” he said with a straight face.
“Uh-huh.” Elen shook her head at him. “Why don’t you go pick up gyros for us from that place in town I like?”
“Sure.” He nodded. “Write down your orders, I’ll call it in and then go pick it up.”
I wrote down what I wanted and then went back to work, putting Axel and all things related to the Royal Protectors out of my mind as I worked to update our password protocol for the second firewall Jonas had added. He was still able to hack into the site and though he had an advantage because he’d built it, it still should have been harder.
The rest of the afternoon flew by and by the time Elen and Shannon were ready to leave, I still had work to do.
“You guys go ahead,” I told them. “I’m going to stay a while. Jonas and I are still working on the system. We’ve found a ton of bugs and we’re running out of time to iron them out.”
“Good excuse not to go home,” Shannon said pointedly, eyeing me.
“Wait, what happened?” Elen asked, looking at me.
“Axel’s dealing with the situation in Braksa,” I told Shannon, “so he’s not home anyway. Even if we hadn’t had an argument, I wouldn’t see him tonight regardless.”
