by Kat Mizera
“You wanna talk?” Xander asked me as we got on the only north-south highway in the country.
“About what?”
“Solange.”
“Nope.”
“Okay.”
Xander was driving, so I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. I couldn’t sleep, though. Hell, I hadn’t slept since this whole thing had started. I tossed and turned half the night, dozed for a couple of hours, and then dragged my ass out of bed. Nothing felt right and while losing Logan was part of it, there was more to it. A lot more.
“I don’t know if I did the right thing,” I blurted out.
He cut a glance at me, though he mostly kept his eyes on the road. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it?”
“I took an oath to the royal family,” I continued. “If there’s even a chance she’s guilty, I had to cut all ties. Right?”
“Kinda.”
“Kinda?” I glared at him. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Yes, you needed to distance yourself, but you could have told her you loved her and had her back, that you would—”
“We haven’t said that.”
“Huh?”
“We haven’t said the L-word. I mean, I haven’t.”
“She said it and you didn’t say it back?” he demanded, giving me a look.
“It wasn’t like that. We were arguing and I said something about how she needed someone without a dark past like mine, and she kind of dropped it into the conversation, like she wouldn’t love a man who was dark or some shit like that.”
He sighed. “I swear, sometimes I wonder if I got all the wrong chromosomes or something… Apparently, I don’t think like a dude. Anyway, your relationship is none of my business, but she’s my friend. She’s kind of like a kid sister to me now, and I care about her. I don’t believe for a minute she did this and I told her that. I had to cut all ties too, but I’m going to do whatever it takes to prove she didn’t do what she’s been accused of.”
My hands balled into fists in my lap. My whole body hurt when he talked like that, as if it were a foregone conclusion that she was innocent and I’d fucked up.
“How are you so sure?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I just am.” He shrugged. “And if you’re not, well, I’m thinking you don’t love her. Not the way she loves you. And that’s okay but—”
“How do you know how she feels about me?” I interrupted.
“’Cause she told Elen and Elen tells me everything.”
“What, uh, did she say?” I was getting that uneasy feeling in my gut all over again, the kind you felt when you’d done something really wrong and had no idea how to fix it.
“I don’t remember any details, she was repeating parts of girl talk, but the gist of it was that Solange thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread and how happy she was that she’d found you.” He looked over at me. “You were the first, huh?”
I groaned. “Fuck. She told you?”
“No, of course not. She told Elen.”
“Elen can’t keep a secret, I take it.”
He chuckled. “She can, but this wasn’t malicious. I wanted to make sure Solange was happy. Like I told you, she’s become like a kid sister to me, and I wanted to know what was up, so Elen gave me the highlights of what she knew.”
“And you have no doubts of her innocence?”
“Nope.”
Shit.
I had no response to that so I didn’t say anything, merely continued staring out the window and wondering if she was okay and whether or not I’d be able to prove her innocence once we found Kostya.
I remembered exactly where the old community center was and we parked a few blocks away. As far as I knew, there was only one way in and out—the front of the building was completely boarded up—so as we approached the rusted old door in the back, I told Xander to wait outside. I had a feeling Kostya would try to run and I really didn’t want to shoot the kid, though I might if he’d thrown Solange under the bus.
“You sure you want to be the one to go inside?” he asked me.
“Yeah. I need answers and he’s going to give them to me, one way or another.”
Xander nodded. “Okey-dokey. I’ll be out here waiting to take him down.”
I pushed the door open and quietly stepped inside. There were voices and they quickly went silent as I stepped into the dark room. “I know you’re here, Kostya. Don’t run because I will shoot your sorry ass if you do.”
There were rapid footsteps, indicating he was on the move, and I sighed.
I walked into the main room and memories washed over me. Solange kissing me, climbing on my lap. Her soft laughter. The sounds she’d made when I made her come. The way I’d felt when I realized I’d just taken her virginity. All of it came rushing back, making my skin tingle with memories and regret and…love? Fuck. This was not the time to think about that.
I didn’t often get sidetracked when I was working, but this room brought it all back and Kostya wasn’t going anywhere. If he tried to run, Xander would stop him, so I casually walked deeper into the room. There was a young woman standing against a wall, a worried look on her face as she met my gaze.
“You can’t do this!” she whispered harshly. “They will kill him.”
“I’m going to kill him if he doesn’t get his ass back here,” I snapped.
She shook her head. “You don’t understand! The Brat—”
“The Brat is the least of his worries. Kostya! What the fuck, man? Don’t make me chase you.”
We heard a thud and someone’s groan. I looked in the direction of the back door and a few seconds later, Xander came ambling in, dragging Kostya by the arm.
“Kostya!” The young woman ran to him, hugging him tightly.
Xander folded his arms across his chest. “Don’t run, dude. Next time I won’t be gentle.”
“Dammit, why are you always in my fucking business?” Kostya demanded, glaring at me.
“Why are you always such a fucking mess?” I countered. “Your sister is in jail because of you.” That was an exaggeration but he didn’t need to know that. I needed him to talk and that was the strategy we’d come up with. He might be a little shit, but he loved his sister. Or we’d find out if he really didn’t, among other things.
“What?” He frowned. “What are you talking about? Why is she in jail?!”
“Do you have any idea what you did by telling them about her work at the school?” I decided not to ask questions, to just talk about the whole thing as if we already knew everything. “That’s treason, Kostya. And the royal family thinks she helped you. She’s in prison and going to be tried for treason.”
“She didn’t do anything!” he cried. “You don’t understand! They were trying to hack into the school’s computer system and asked me to get information from her. They said I owed them because now they weren’t collecting taxes from the people in Vinake anymore, but I wouldn’t do it. That’s why they burned Braksa, and I still wouldn’t do it. So they went there to kill Solange, to force me to start spying on the family, since they found out I was living at the palace. That’s why they went to the school—not for the computers—for Solange.”
My blood ran cold.
“What are you saying?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
“I told you—they were there to kill her, to show me they were serious, that they would take everything from me if I didn’t do what they wanted. Our home, my family, the town, everything. But Solange wasn’t involved!” He was on the verge of tears. “Your friend wasn’t supposed to die… She was. They think she’s dead and I’ve been in hiding so they can’t find out anything else. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I glanced at Xander, who was shaking his head.
“You mean, like, you know, coming to one of us for help?” Xander asked dryly. “We could have stopped this…kept Solange safe. What were you thinking, man? And you don’t think they’l
l go after your parents?”
“I was trying to do the right thing! I wouldn’t do what they said. I didn’t know they’d go after her. I think they have someone working in the kitchen, but I only found that out today, when I talked to my friend Felix.”
“He involved in this Brat bullshit too?” I demanded.
He nodded. “He hasn’t had a choice. They threatened his family once they lost me.”
“I’m done with these fuckers!” I growled, looking at Xander.
“I need to update Sandor,” he said quietly.
“We need to get back to Hiskale,” I told Kostya.
“I can’t leave Magda here.” He slid his arms around her.
“She can come.”
“She has her car.”
“Fine. Xander will follow us in her car; you and Magda will ride with me. It’s not safe for her to be driving on her own. Not with the Brat after you.”
“If they catch us, they’ll kill me.”
“Not on my watch.” I motioned with my head. “Let’s go.”
We left for Hiskale immediately and Xander said he would update Sandor on the way. Kostya and Magda were in the back, huddling together and talking quietly in Limaji. They were both pretty subdued and my gut told me he’d been telling the truth. Which was both good and bad. It meant I wasn’t going to have to kill him and Sandor didn’t have to put him on trial for treason. It also meant Solange was innocent. Unfortunately, my biggest takeaway was that I’d made a huge mistake and had hurt the woman I loved. There had been extenuating circumstances, but Xander had been right; I should have given her my support, even if we’d had to temporarily cut all ties.
Innocent until proven guilty, right? That was the American way and I was fucking American. That’s what I’d believed growing up and yet, when it came to the most important person in my life, I hadn’t extended that courtesy to her. From the outside looking in, my lack of faith was unforgiveable. I’d managed to prove her innocence but I’d lost her in the process. And if that was true, it would be the biggest mistake I’d ever made.
39
Solange
I paced until I couldn’t anymore and sank onto the bed. I could watch television, but I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want to do anything but cry, but I was all cried out. I was simply impatient at this point, waiting for word, one way or another. Had they found Kostya, and more than that, what had they discovered? I felt a little selfish, as if I’d thrown him under the bus, but he’d done this to himself and he’d cost me everything in the process. My new job, the man I loved, and potentially my freedom.
A knock on my door made me jump to my feet and I ran to open it. I was surprised to see Elen and Elena standing there. Elen was holding the little girl’s hand and the child looked up at me with big, dark eyes.
“Miss Solange, I bring cupcakes!” She held up a small container.
“Thank you,” I said softly, smiling at her.
“Can we share?” she asked, giggling.
I glanced at Elen, who was smiling, too, and gave me a quick nod.
“Sure.” Elena held out her hand to me and I took it without thinking, but I wondered what was going on. They’d sent Elena to soften me up for something, though I was now hopeful it wasn’t prison.
“They found Kostya,” Elen said. “He told them everything.”
“Did they hurt him?” I asked quietly, absently cutting the cupcake in half and giving Elena her share.
“No, he’s okay. They’ll be here soon but I thought I’d come give you the good news.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Miss Solange, don’t you want cupcake?” Elena held up the other half to me.
I managed a tiny smile as I shook my head. “You have it, sweetheart.”
Elena dug in happily and Elen continued talking.
“The good news is that Kostya verified everything we’d already figured out, minus a few details, and you’re in the clear. The bad news is that Logan wasn’t the target the night he was killed.” She met my eyes.
“What? Then who was?”
“You.”
“Me? Why?” I was flabbergasted.
“They were trying to show Kostya they meant business and that he couldn’t just walk away.”
“He was trying to get out from under them,” I said in relief. It was a little disconcerting to know I was supposed to die that night, but I was simultaneously relieved that Kostya had been trying to redeem himself and hadn’t actually sold out the royal family.
“Yes.”
I sank down onto the edge of the bed and closed my eyes. I truly didn’t know what to do. It was over. Not being accused of treason was a huge relief, but the rest of it was heartbreaking. Though none of this had been my fault, nothing would be the same in the aftermath. There would be no going back. Not to Axel, not to my job, not even to my new friends. I understood why they’d treated me the way they had, but that didn’t mean things would ever be the same between any of us.
“You’re hurt and angry,” Elen said, sitting beside me.
“Yes.”
“I understand. Truly. I would be furious. But you must understand that the Royal Protectors have to—”
“I know what they do. I respect and admire it. Unfortunately, the relationships I had here will never be the same, so my exoneration is bittersweet.”
Elen looked sad. “Even Xander and me? He thinks of you like a little sister—he’ll be upset if you cut him out of your life.”
“You and Xander will always be my friends, and I’ll let you know where I end up, but I’ve been trying to figure out what I would do once I proved my innocence. I may need a recommendation so I can get a job in Voda.”
“Of course.” Elen nodded. “Anything you need. I’m happy to help you find a place to live or—”
“It’s okay. I’ll figure it out. I’ll stay at the inn with my parents for a bit, until I can make a plan, but I need to start fresh somewhere.”
“Solange, you don’t have to go,” Elen said softly, squeezing my hand. “Nothing about this was personal—it was national security. The information in that database was crucial to the safety of all the kids that will be attending the school, not to mention Luke.”
“I know.”
Elen paused. “And what about Axel? Aren’t you even going to talk to him?”
“I don’t think there’s anything to say. I’m emotionally overwhelmed and sad and disappointed. In my brother, in Axel, in all of you here at the palace who were supposed to be my friends, and even myself. Until I get past these feelings, I have nothing to say to anyone. Thank Xander for believing in me, will you?” I got to my feet. “Is there someone who can drive me to the inn?”
“Are you sure you just want to run away?” Elen asked.
“I like to run away,” Elena chirped, her face covered in frosting.
Elen absently got up to wipe her and I smiled.
“I’m not running. I’m just going.” I reached out to hug her. “Is there someone to give me a ride…home?”
Her lips thinned in what was probably disapproval, but she nodded. “Let me make a call.”
Twenty minutes later I was back with my parents. They’d heard from Kostya, who’d told them Sandor was going to put him in protective custody until they were sure he was safe. Sandor was also having an undercover policeman patrol the inn, just in case the Brat made another move on me, but he’d promised it was being taken care of. Personally, I wasn’t worried about it. I was leaving soon, which would hopefully keep my parents out of the Brat’s crosshairs, though I had a feeling Sandor would handle this as efficiently as he’d handled the situation when he’d thought I was a traitor.
I helped my mother serve dinner and clean up the kitchen and then went up to my room. I stood under the shower for a long time, until the hot water ran out and my skin was a little pruny. I wrapped my hair in a towel and pulled on a bathrobe, sitting on the edge of the bed and opening my laptop. Elen had given it back to me on m
y way out and I was grateful because it would allow me to start job hunting. Voda was my first choice, because the weather was more temperate, but I might be able to find something in Ferdinbrag.
Most of the jobs available were nanny positions, and I wasn’t too keen on that. I could work in a shop as a sales person, but that wouldn’t pay much, and it certainly didn’t have any opportunities to work with computers. That might be a blessing, though, because computers would always remind me of Logan.
Sweet, funny Logan.
He’d died protecting me.
I’d been too distracted by my impending imprisonment to truly mourn him, but now I would. I’d help around here, which didn’t require a lot of time since Erik had been extremely generous in hiring a staff for my parents, so I’d have plenty of time to myself. Once I’d had a little while to grieve, and found a way to stop missing Axel, I’d take back control of my life and put all this behind me. Mama had put aside some money—I didn’t know where she got it and didn’t care at this point—and she’d told me I could take it to start over when I decided where I was going.
Mama knocked on my door and I sighed. “I’m going to sleep, Mama. Can we talk tomorrow?”
“I was hoping we could talk tonight.” The door opened and Axel stepped inside.
40
Axel
She didn’t look happy to see me and I hated the distance in her eyes. This was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever done outside of war, and I had a sinking feeling she wasn’t going to be easy to win over.
“You shouldn’t have come,” she said, pulling her robe a little tighter around her. As if I hadn’t already seen everything.
“I couldn’t leave things the way they were,” I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets because I didn’t know what else to do with them. I longed to touch her but that didn’t seem like the right move.
“I understand why you did what you did,” she said quietly. “You took an oath. I wouldn’t expect anything less in a Royal Protector.”
