She would have to tell Caleb. She would simply have to.
But, he would be unlikely to believe her as easily as she believed the omega. Elinore had no love lost for Hayter. She’d not liked him from the start - he was strange and peculiar. While Caleb may have issues with him, Elinore had no doubt that he loved Hayter as family. Family was a strong bond, one she was loath to break. Elinore might need proof of Hayter’s behavior, proof that he was the feral wolf. She did not yet know if she loved Caleb, for truly they had not known each other for very long, but she knew her heart held an affection for him. She hoped that his heart held one for her. But would that be enough?
“You’ve hardly touched your food, dear. Is it not to your liking?”
Elinore looked up from where she’d been staring blindly, not seeing her food, into the kind face of Mrs. Thistlewaite. Elinore had not even heard her come out of the kitchen, so intent on her thoughts.
“Oh, forgive me. It’s wonderful, Mrs. Thistlewaite. I’m merely… woolgathering.”
Mrs. Thistlewaite seemed hesitant and then spoke. “May I sit and speak with you a moment?”
“Please,” Elinore said, gesturing to the chair at the head of the table.
Mrs. Thistlewaite shook her head. “Oh, no, I couldn’t sit there. That’s for the Alpha.” She rounded the table and took what was Caleb’s normal seat opposite Elinore.
“What is on your mind, Mrs. Thistlewaite? Is your husband doing well? Is there something that needs to be done?”
“Nothing of sort, miss. He is healing slowly and the doctor assures all he needs is time.”
Elinore nodded, eating some of her dinner while she waited for Mrs. Thistlewaite to continue.
“I was very… pleased with how you handled yourself this morning. With the… incident outside.”
“Thank you. I fear I stumbled my way through it.” Elinore hadn’t known what to do, but coming outside of the manor and seeing that poor animal carcass, she’d felt the need to do something, to be some kind of touchstone for Ravenwood.
“You did well, miss. I think the gentlemen were impressed as well and they are not the sort to be easily moved.”
Elinore felt herself flush at the praise. “Again, thank you.”
Mrs. Thistlewaite smoothed over imaginary lines in the tablecloth with her fingers. “Mr. Vollmond has been the head of the house since the prior Mr. Vollmond passed unexpectedly,” she said, apropos of nothing.
“Yes, Caleb told me. He said that after his father and mother died, Hayter came here and became Alpha.” Elinore paused. “I had the impression that Caleb could have been Alpha, but that he chose not to.”
Mrs. Thistlewaite nodded. “We were all quite… disappointed the he did not take the Alpha role. Perhaps if he’d had some time to grieve after his father and then his mother died, but Mr. Vollmond arrived so quickly. Mr. Vollmond himself was grieving his wife, Victoria, at the time. Losing a mate is of course quite distressing for the Vollmond family. Especially since his bite caused it.”
Elinore’s stomach turned at the words. “What do you mean?”
“Victoria was ill and from what Mr. Vollmond’s staff tells me, he thought to cure her with the bite. But she was too far gone and succumbed. She likely would have died anyway, but it was the bite that accelerated the process. They say he was inconsolable for days. It was very shortly afterward that Caleb’s parents passed and Mr. Vollmond arrived and became Alpha. Having a leader is very important to the Vollmond family.” Mrs. Thistlewaite paused, staring at Elinore intently. “A family of which you are now a part.”
Elinore frowned, not certain what Mrs. Thistlewaite was trying to intimate with her intent gaze. “I think that all families do well when together. Although,” Elinore added, thinking again of Hayter, “I think that benevolence and affection are two very important qualities that must be tempered with any sort of dominance or command. For surely without such temperament, one may be living under a sort of tyranny.”
Mrs. Thistlewaite seemed to relax, her shoulders slumping. “Yes. Just so. I’m pleased to hear that is your opinion. It’s why I think you shall make an excellent Alpha for Ravenwood.”
“Pardon me?” Elinore said quickly.
“Seeing the way the men reacted to you today, and your kindness in dealing with all of us at Ravenwood, well…” Mrs. Thistlewaite smiled. “I think your constitution is what this house needs.”
“But Hayter is the Alpha of Ravenwood,” Elinore added dumbly, as though Mrs. Thistlewaite did not already know it.
“Yes, and although the people of the manor follow his words in action, they do not follow them in heart.”
“But what can be done, Mrs. Thistlewaite?” Elinore asked, her eyes imploring the older woman. Elinore understood what Mrs. Thistlewaite was implying - Hayter was not a good Alpha to Ravenwood, to the pack. A pack that included all the human souls of the manor as well as the wolves. But Elinore wasn’t sure what she could do about it. She was a woman. Though her parents taught her to be a free-thinking person and to cultivate her mind, she was still bound by societal rules and always would be.
Wouldn’t she?
A deep longing dared to take root in her heart for something more, something greater than what she was or what she’d been lead to believe she could achieve. Was it to be Alpha of Ravenwood? But how? Elinore doubted very much Hayter would simply hand over the title and even if he could relinquish it, would not Caleb, who had been a wolf his whole life, and was a man to boot, be a better choice? What sort of Alpha could Elinore be, hemmed in as she was by society’s restrictions? Good lord, she wasn’t even able to publish a book under her own name. How on earth was she to be an Alpha?
“I think you already know what can be done,” Mrs. Thistlewaite said, her eyes boring into Elinore’s. “Are you willing and able to do it?” With that, Mrs. Thistlewaite stood and left the dining room, heading back into the kitchen, leaving Elinore to ponder the question. Was she willing and able to do what needed to be done? Willing? Perhaps so, yes. Able? She wasn’t sure. She was not even sure if these were questions she could ask Caleb. Would his loyalty be first to Hayter?
Elinore retired to her room that night with too many thoughts swirling in her head. Mrs. Davenport arrived with her usual pot of tea and Elinore happily invited the woman into her room, sitting in her chair as Mrs. Davenport poured and handed her a cup. Thinking back on her conversation with Caleb, Elinore considered her drink.
“Does this contain some sort of tonic to help me sleep?”
Mrs. Davenport stilled and then nodded slightly, taking a seat on the ottoman. “It does. I’m sorry for the deception.”
“It keeps me asleep, keeps me here when the omega howls?”
Again, the older woman nodded. “Yes. But as we get closer to the full moon, its effects are limited. I do not know what will happen tomorrow night.”
Caleb promised to return by the full moon, but what if he was unable? Her chest seized at the thought. She drank Mrs. Davenport’s tea, willing it to continue to be enough. The idea of being compelled by Hayter to leave Ravenwood, to traipse among the woods, to be pulled to him unnaturally, left her feeling cold. Mrs. Davenport wrung her hands, looking positively miserable and Elinore reached out and placed her hand on top of the older woman’s.
“Let us not borrow trouble from the future.”
Mrs. Davenport appeared somewhat mollified at Elinore’s words and Elinore was glad at least one of them took comfort from them.
“Would you like me to brush your hair, miss?”
Elinore’s eyes rested on her hairbrush, sitting innocuously on the nightstand. She thought of Caleb brushing out her hair and shook her head, offering Mrs. Davenport a smile.
“No, thank you, Mrs. Davenport. Not tonight.”
She nodded and then departed, leaving Elinore alone with her thoughts. True to Mrs. Davenport’s words, although the tea made Elinore drowsy, it did not lull her into sleep as it had before. The moonlight poured through the
open window along with the cool night air. Elinore could smell the trees of the forest, the grass, and perhaps even the lavender many miles away. At some point during the night, she knew not exactly when, she found herself creeping toward the window and standing in the moonlight, turning her hand over in the silver light and watching it play across her fingers. She squinted at the moon, so close to being full. Caleb would return, with or without Hayter, she told herself. He swore she would not go through her first full moon alone. She believed him. He would be back.
But what of Hayter?
Thinking about him caused frustration and anger to course through her veins. How dare he bite her in the forest that night? She felt pricks of pain in her palms and looked down to see long claws extending from her fingernails. They dug into the soft flesh of her hands as she curled her fingers in frustration. She unclenched her fingers, seeing small slits on her palms. She raised her claws up to the moonlight, examining them. She tapped one against the sill, feeling the reverberations travel through it and up her finger. How extraordinary. She did the same with all four fingers, marveling at the sensation. They felt as much hers as her own fingernails. She hadn’t felt pain when they appeared, but remembering the horrid sounds of the omega shifting, Elinore wondered if the same could be said for a full transformation. She feared the pain, but not as much as she feared not being a wolf. She wanted to change. She thought of the white wolf - strong legs, large paws, powerful jaw, sharp teeth. Perhaps Elinore could and would be a match for Hayter. She’d no idea how female wolves compared to their male counterparts. Her entire life, she’d been told, reminded of, scolded, for being the weaker sex, but what if that were no longer true?
Would being a wolf put her on a level to challenge Hayter?
A howl broke through the night, long and high and she shivered, terrified for a moment that it was Hayter and she would feel the nauseating pull to go to the forest. But, it was not Hayter’s discordant howl she heard, nor the softer tenor of Caleb that she knew from her dreams. It was the omega, Elinore realized. She felt she understood what his howl meant, deep in her heart and in her bones. It said to her, I am here. I wish to be part of your pack.
Another howl rang out and this time it was the off-tune howl that Elinore recognized as Hayter’s. She felt a pull in her chest - a desire to answer his howl. There was a hard tug in her chest, an urge to run toward the sound and find him. She pressed a hand to her heart, willing it to slow its maddening beat. She could not answer Hayter’s howl. She would not answer Hayter’s howl. There was a minute of silence and then he howled again, causing such a sharp pull against her insides that she gasped. It hurt. His howl made her heart hurt, it made her ears hurt. Good Lord, it even made her teeth hurt.
No, those weren’t her teeth. Well, they were, but… Elinore touched the tip of her tongue to the long, sharp protrusions that now came from her gums where blunt human teeth had been moments before. She tasted blood - sharp and metallic. She rushed to the mirror and in its silvery reflection, she could see, as she drew her lips back, elongated canine teeth.
They looked deadly. They looked fierce. They looked as though they could do damage.
Elinore waited for another howl. For the omega to howl again, or for Hayter to call her again, or perhaps for Caleb to respond to Hayter. Did Hayter’s howl sound as terrible to Caleb as it did to Elinore? Had it always been so wrong and raw?
As time crawled forward, and there were no further howls from the forest, Elinore felt her wolf-teeth sink back into her gums, receding underneath the flesh. She pressed her fingers against her lips, wondering if her sharp teeth lingered still, under the surface, waiting for tomorrow night.
Elinore thought of the story Caleb had told her, of the new mother who prayed to the moon Goddess and demanded she save a sickly-born child. A fable likely whispered to children as they lay in bed at night and fought against sleep.
But perhaps not only that?
Elinore blinked at the moon and closed her eyes, letting it bathe her face in silver light. She wondered if what she was about to do was blasphemy. What would be the appropriate words? How could she articulate her desires? Elinore stood in the moonlight and tried to let her heart speak for her. She thought of the other women of Ravenwood, of Mrs. Davenport, Mrs. Thistlewaite and Alice. The Vollmond men may be the masters of the house, but Elinore felt the women were its heart. She wished to be a force to protect them. She longed to be strong enough to do what needed to be done to keep the people of Ravenwood, the pack of Ravenwood safe. If Caleb could not, or would not see Hayter for what he was, it would be left to Elinore and perhaps the omega wolf, whose name she did not even know, to do… something. Subdue Hayter? Trap him? Was there a council or some kind of law system to which he could be brought? She sighed deeply, opening her eyes to the moon, feeling as though she’d finally found her words.
“I wish for strength, tempered with justice and affection.”
Surely such words, even if whispered to a pagan goddess, could not be horrible blasphemy?
Hayter’s howl again broke across the night and though it pained her to listen even harder, Elinore did, waiting, straining, hoping to hear something from Caleb. If he were near, would he answer? Did he know the discordant howl to be his uncle’s?
After several breaths, her heart sank. There were no other howls. She waited longer, hope a small, tremulous thing in her heart. Surely Caleb would reply. If he recognized the howl as Hayter’s, then he would respond. If he didn’t recognize the howl as his uncle’s, then he would respond to indicate he was in the area, possibly to let Elinore know of his proximity.
But no other howl came across the wind to Elinore’s ears. She was hollow and sick at the silence. Was Caleb too far away? Or worse, was Caleb unable to answer? If Hayter was mad, and Caleb had caught up with him, had things finally reached a breaking point? Elinore had seen what Hayter was capable of when it came to animals, but she didn’t know what he would do to family.
The night was long in the way that only the night can be. A day could be long, but there was always the sense it would end. However, when the night was long, it was an endless abyss, hollow and wretched. Like the night on which she was bitten, Elinore feared sunrise would never come, and she would be trapped in an unending darkness forever, waiting for Caleb’s howl on the wind, while also fearing Hayter coming closer.
The sun finally did rise, slow and fat over the horizon. Though it was bright and beautiful, Elinore found her eyes drifting to the ghostly circle of the moon in the sky, its pale white belly now complete and round. The daybreak of the night of the full moon. Yesterday, she’d been so certain Caleb would return, as he promised he would, but when she did not hear any sound from him during the night, fear and doubt crept into her soul and took up residence. What would happen tonight? Would Elinore turn into a werewolf? What would become of Hayter and the omega?
Elinore could no longer bear the thought of sitting in her room. She dressed quickly for the day, putting on her most serviceable gown and pulling her hair back in a plain knot. Upon arriving in the dining room, she found Mrs. Thistlewaite setting out some food and a pot of tea. The fragrant scent of Caleb’s favorite tea made her heart clench in fondness, worry and anxiety. Mrs. Davenport came in as well, poking her head into the dining room as if only to check on Elinore quickly. Once seeing her, the elderly housekeeper made to leave again, but Elinore spoke.
“Mrs. Davenport, Mrs. Thistlewaite, perhaps you would join me for some tea?” Elinore asked. Looking at the formal dining room table, Elinore made a quick decision. “In the kitchen, I think.” Without waiting for them to answer, she took three tea-cups in one hand and the pot in the other. The two women followed behind her, both of them bringing some of the plates of food. Elinore sat at the small table, and gestured for them both to sit with her. They were hesitant at first, but joined her after she had poured them each a cup of tea.
“Is Alice sitting with Mr. Thistlewaite?”
“Alice is still abed.
She was up late last night. Too much… excitement yesterday with the incident.” Mrs. Thistlewaite paused before adding, “And the howling.”
Elinore nodded. “Were many of Ravenwood awake last night?”
“Yes, miss,” Mrs. Thistlewaite answered. “We wanted to keep an eye on the manor.”
“On me,” Elinore said.
Mrs. Thistlewaite wore a steadfast expression. “Yes.”
“You did not leave your room,” Mrs. Davenport said. “Although we were prepared if you tried.”
“Did any of us get a good night’s sleep?” Elinore asked rhetorically, eating a piece of toast. She felt warmer in the kitchen, not in body, but in spirit - sitting with Mrs. Davenport and Thistlewaite calmed her nerves. They passed an amenable breakfast, although Elinore had the weight of the full moon pressing on her shoulders. Her ears were uncommonly sensitive and she did not know if it heralded her turning into a wolf or if she was so anxious for Caleb’s return that she was straining to hear even the slightest sound. After breakfast, she stood up, briskly brushed off her skirt and declared she was going for a walk.
“Is that wise, miss?” Mrs. Davenport asked. “To be out, on your own?”
Elinore gave the question thought. “I’m not sure, Mrs. Davenport. I feel as though I must make my presence known. I also confess I’m so restless, I fear I may start pulling at the seams of my dress or pacing the floorboards. I don’t know if it’s the full moon, or if it’s just nerves. The compulsion to be outside at this moment, to circle the area and take stock…” Elinore trailed off and stared longingly at the back door. “I shall stay within sight of the manor. I don’t intend to go far, but I must go.”
The two older ladies nodded - grim, but accepting.
“The wolf in you wants to check her territory,” Mrs. Davenport said. “We shall keep an eye on you from the manor.”
Ravenwood Page 28
