I’d even been to the fucking dentist.
Just about every fucking thing I could think of to keep myself occupied.
I’d worked out with Trey twice, and given him the Coles Notes version of what went down between Courteney and me.
Predictably, he’d laughed his ass off. Then feared for my soul.
And for my friendship with Cary, obviously.
Last night, I’d gone to Brody Mason’s bachelor party, where Ash had cornered me and demanded an answer. Was I joining his band, yes or fucking no?
I chose yes.
So, officially, I had a new band.
And new band management.
Now, I was sitting in Zane Traynor’s grandma’s backyard, at my new manager’s wedding reception, nursing a beer. The members of my new band sat at my table, shooting the shit in the lantern light.
The Players; that’s what we’d decided to call ourselves, a nod to our lead singer.
There was Ashley Player, Summer Sorensen, and Matt Brohmer, who’d also officially joined the lineup yesterday.
It was a pretty fucking sweet lineup, and I was glad to be a part of it. For sure.
Life was fucking great, right?
I was supposed to be happy, probably. Celebrating my new band situation, and celebrating Brody’s wedding.
And I was celebrating, more or less.
But my head was only halfway in the game.
Because as usual, I was fucking preoccupied.
With Courteney.
She’d texted me last night to ask if I was mad at her. I told her no.
I wasn’t mad.
I was fucking mental.
Trying to keep away from her, and at the same time hoping like hell that when I broke down and saw her again, she’d come on to me again or something. Just anything at all to give me the excuse to fuck her.
Because I so wanted to fuck her.
I just knew I shouldn’t.
So I was really, really trying not to.
Sometime around one a.m., I broke down and checked my phone. I’d turned it off for the wedding ceremony and never bothered turning it back on. And I knew why.
I feared the temptation that would be there, waiting for me, as soon as I looked.
And I feared that if it wasn’t there… I’d fucking flip out.
But when I turned it on, there it was. A Snapchat notification, with her name on it.
She’d sent me a pic.
I didn’t open it, at first.
I already knew I’d fucked up—one of the worst ways a man could fuck up, short of committing some major felony. But since then, I’d been avoiding her as best I could.
Really, I had.
But what the hell. She’d sent me a photo.
And I really wasn’t that strong a man.
I opened it.
It was a pic of her tits. Those big, plump, bouncy tits of hers, spilling out of her lacy little baby-pink bra. And one sentence.
Courteney: I need you right now.
I read it again and again, fucking relishing those words out of her sweet head.
I was going to hell.
For sure.
I stole another look at that pic, at her plump, cherry-red nipples, poking through the lace like she’d been playing with them while she thought about me. And I was so hard, I probably could’ve come in my pants with just a little friction.
No one’s perfect, right?
I swallowed and messaged her back.
Me: Be there as soon as I can.
Then I said my goodbyes, made some excuse, and hopped in my car, speeding off to make one of those major life mistakes that I knew was so fucking wrong… it was just way too filthy to resist.
I kept telling myself if she needed me, I had to go. It was the right thing to do.
Even though I knew it was the wrong thing to do.
By the time I walked into her bedroom, I was pretty much panting.
She was lying on her bed, obviously waiting for me. Covers kicked aside. Naked except for that pink bra… and her little panties.
They were white cotton and skimpy as hell, kind of athletic looking, and paired with her lacy bra and her girly bedroom, she’d pretty much nailed every fantasy I’d ever had as a teenager.
She was awake, and sat up when I burst in.
I closed the door and locked it behind me.
“You know I can’t…” I said as I walked over to the bed. “I can’t do this.” Which was totally twisted because I was in her room, and I was totally gonna do this.
“Why?”
I sat down next to her. “Are you really a virgin?” Fuck, did that turn me on. It had been eating me alive ever since she’d told me.
Why even pretend otherwise?
“Yes.” Her honey eyes gazed up at me. “What do you think… that’s just some line I give men?”
Think? I didn’t think anything. I wasn’t thinking at all.
I was already peeling her bra straps down over her shoulders so I could see her tits. I pulled the whole thing down, and she didn’t stop me.
The girl had fucking epic tips.
And I was looking at them. Naked.
Jesus Christ, I’m looking at Courteney’s tits.
“Stop saying tits.”
I looked at her eyes, struggling to focus. “What?”
“You just said it like a hundred times.”
Really? Didn’t realize I’d said anything. I was in some kind of tit-induced trance.
“Because your tits are fucking amazing…”
“You just said that.”
“Give me this…” I dug around behind her, unhooking her bra. I flicked it open and tossed it aside.
Then I slid my hands up her sides. I was about to get them on her tits for the first time when she said, “You’re the first guy who’s ever touched me.”
I went still.
“I mean, you know… really touched me.” She bit her lip a bit and stared at me.
I glanced down at her naked tits, all round and heavy and perfect. Her plump pink nipples, like a breath away from my thumbs.
And the rest of her… in her little panties—like some fucking fantasy.
“Touched you,” I repeated, dumbly, trying to make sense of what she was saying. “You mean, like… touched your pussy?”
“Yeah. I’ve, you know, made out with guys and stuff. But no one’s ever touched me there… naked.”
My hands dropped away. “How is that possible?”
“Well, at school—”
“Do not tell me about the girls’ school,” I pretty much groaned. The mere thought of her at her private girls’ school in the woods, in that fucking uniform I’d seen her wearing in pictures, cuddled up in bed with her girlfriends after lights out, teaching each other how to kiss…
Obviously, that’s how I pictured it.
Didn’t need her corroborating my fantasies. That was not gonna do either of us any good.
“There were no boys around…” she went on anyway.
“You’re fucking killing me.”
“There were like, four teenage boys who lived sort of nearby,” she said, kinda wrapping her arms over her naked breasts. “And some of the girls would sneak out to see them. Meet up with them in the woods and stuff. But… I don’t know. I didn’t like any of those guys. When they tried to touch me, I’d push them away.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, not liking these dudes myself.
“And then in the summer… I’d come back here, and sometimes you’d be here. And I’d hang around the pool instead of going out because I wanted to see you.”
Holy fuck. I was gonna die. My heart was gonna implode or something. My pulse rammed in my dick and I shifted uncomfortably.
If Courteney was seriously confessing to me, right here on her little white bed, that she’d been hot for me for years… I was gonna have a coronary or something if I didn’t fuck her.
But.
“You wanted to see me?”
“Duh. Are you really that stupid?”
Jesus. Was I? “Maybe?”
“You took off on me the other night, though. I was in your bed, and you took off.”
“Yeah… Uh, sorry about that.”
I wasn’t sorry about taking off. But I was sorry about making her feel shitty about it.
She wasn’t done, though. She looked pissed at me again, actually. “It freaked me out.”
“I said I’m sorry.”
“You touched me. And then you stopped touching me. You took off and didn’t tell me why. Do you want me to think there’s something wrong with me or something?”
I sat back. What kind of loaded fucking chick question was that?
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I know,” she said, like she wasn’t even sure.
Then she unwrapped her arms from her body and just sat there with her tits out, looking at me. She looked nervous… and like she wanted this.
Badly.
Like she was waiting for me to touch her. To show her what she’d been missing…?
To take her virginity.
Christ. I was really fucked here, wasn’t I?
Fucked if I did… Fucked if I didn’t.
This meant something to her. If I took her virginity, it would definitely mean something to her.
Something far different than it meant to me.
And afterward… she was gonna expect something from me. Something I couldn’t really give her. She was probably gonna expect me to be her boyfriend or some shit.
I’d never known how to be a fucking boyfriend.
Not to mention that her brother would probably murder me in my sleep.
But what was I gonna do, just walk away from this?
I just stared at her and tried to figure it out. It was so fucking surreal, sitting here on her bed with her like this… and not touching her.
Was there some kind of fucking loophole here? Something I wasn’t considering? Some way I could have her without actually being the world’s biggest asshole…?
Nope. No way I could see that playing out.
“You shouldn’t be wanting me anyway,” I told her, holding onto the last few threads of my resistance with a death grip.
“But I do.”
“I’m not fucking you,” I said, just testing the words out, maybe… trying to find my spine. It was there somewhere, beneath all the pulsing need.
She pouted a bit. It wasn’t an actual pout, just the way her gorgeous lips looked when she was mad at me. “Why not?”
“Because you’ve never.”
“So?” she shot back. Girl was ready for a fight, as always. “Am I some kind of freak? Everyone has a first time.”
“I’m not being your first time. I’m not being your any time.”
Okay, so there was my spine.
Now she was pouting, for real. No theatrics here. Just that pretty bottom lip of hers, quivering with anger… and hurt. “You don’t want me.”
“Jesus Christ.” I fucking growled and sighed at once. “You’re such a child.”
“I’m not a child!” she said, like a petulant child. “And don’t treat me like I’m a freak or something. It’s not even a big deal.”
“It is a big deal.”
“It’s not. Was your first time a big deal?”
“My first time was a disaster. The girl cried because I dumped her afterward and it meant absolutely zero to me other than the fact that I got laid. You telling me that’s what this is for you?”
“Yes,” she lied.
I got up to leave.
“Wait!”
I stopped and turned back to her. She sat there on the bed, staring at me.
“Why shouldn’t it be like that for me?” she said.
“I can think of a few reasons.”
“Whatever,” she said, all bravado. “Why shouldn’t you be my first? You have experience. Maybe I just want to get laid, too. ”
“That’s bullshit—”
“Better you than that guy at the bar, right?”
She did not. Fucking. Say that to me.
I strode right back over to the bed and stood over her, and her eyes flashed with fire. Yeah, she said it. And she knew exactly what she was doing.
She was getting the reaction she wanted.
“Don’t even fucking think about hooking up with a guy like that.”
“A guy like what?” She got up on her knees on the bed, so her face was way too close to mine. “Like you said… I can’t tell a good guy from a bad guy, right? So what if the one I pick is bad?”
“If you’re picking me, you’ve already made that mistake.”
“Then what does it matter?
“Christ,” I growled, “you need to grow up.”
“It’s gonna be someone.”
Nope. Not something I wanted to think about.
Fucking ever.
“I won’t be a virgin forever…” she pressed.
Yeah. No shit. All you had to do was look at her to know that was fucking true. But some other asshole’s dick in her?
No fucking way.
“Stop talking,” I growled.
She poked my chest with her finger. “Why don’t you just put me out of my misery and fuck me already?”
I drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I told you I’m not doing that.”
She looked at my mouth. “Then… will you go down on me?” she asked, softly—and it felt like all the blood in my body slammed to my dick.
Yup. That was the last thread, and she just broke it.
I grabbed her arm, but I didn’t follow it up with anything. I didn’t know what I was gonna do.
Her eyes met mine. “Do you like doing that?” she whispered.
I slammed my free hand over her mouth. “Stop. Talking. I don’t want to hear that shit out of your mouth.”
She licked my hand. Slowly.
A growl rumbled up my throat.
I removed my hand and quickly slammed my mouth over hers. I thrust my tongue into her sweet, dirty little mouth, kissing her deep.
“Do you like eating pussy?” she whispered, breathless, when I came up for air.
“Stop. Fucking. Talking,” I growled. Then I kissed her again. I was fucking panting, wrestling with myself. Kissing her… then trying to stop kissing her.
Fuck me, though… Had anyone ever tasted so sweet?
Or felt so fucking wrong?
She felt so right. I wanted her so bad, I’d be kidding myself if I pretended I didn’t want her because it was wrong.
I wanted to throw her down and ram my dick up her tight pussy while she told me how much she thought about me while she was away at her girls’ school… and do every fucking filthy thing she’d ever fantasized about me doing to her.
And all kinds of other shit I wasn’t supposed to want to do.
“I want to feel your beard,” she whispered. “All over my thighs…” She was kissing and nibbling at my lip while I groaned and tried not to pin her to the bed. “And your tongue on my—”
She screamed a little when I grabbed her behind her thighs and tugged, dropping her on her back on the bed. She lay there, panting up at me, her honey eyes on fire.
“You want that?” I panted.
“Yes.”
“You sure? Are you totally fucking sure? Because I’m not gonna be nice about it. You get one warning.”
I could practically see the shiver run through her body. Her nipples were rock hard. “I’m sure.”
I ripped her panties off so fast she squealed in surprise. Then I spread her wide open and shoved my face between her legs. And I wasn’t nice about it.
I wasn’t nice about it at all.
Chapter Fifteen
Courteney
Xander slammed his mouth over my pussy and I gasped in shock. He gave me no time to get past the shock of it, though, just lapped his tongue hungrily over my flesh…
And then the pleasure hit.
Holy God
…
The tingling warmth flashed through my body and my arms gave out. I collapsed on the bed. I gasped again and kind of hissed through my teeth as he got into an aggressive rhythm, licking me in long, fast strokes.
But then I remembered to actually breathe. I sucked in a giant breath, then groaned helplessly as I tried to comprehend what was happening. All the sensations were overtaking my body too fast, and I almost couldn’t deal.
I squirmed beneath him, but he just shoved his hands under my ass and squeezed, gripping me tight and holding me to his face.
Ohmygod.
Xander’s face was between my legs.
His gorgeous face…
I watched him… what he was doing to me. I could hardly believe his mouth was on my pussy. He kinda growled as he licked me with long, wet, lustful strokes of his tongue, and he definitely wasn’t shy about it.
Nope.
The warmth he was stoking in my body quickly spiked to infernal heat as I stared at him. It felt like I was blushing all over.
His eyes met mine, and fire erupted in my belly. Electricity shot through my core, through my limbs. I tried to relax, but I couldn’t. My whole body was tense, hyper-tuned to this amazing thing that was happening to me as I rocked my hips a bit, getting used to it.
He had the little diamond stud in his nose, and his slight beard kept rubbing the soft, sensitive skin of my thighs… He looked so goddamn hot… so fucking dangerous down there.
So fucking amazing.
I’d never felt like a bad girl before. But right now…? Naked on my bed, with my legs spread wide and my pussy dripping on Xander’s tongue?
I felt bad, naughty, dirty… and totally fucking incredible.
He ravaged me, licking and sucking, making loud, wet noises, and I could barely keep up. He stabbed his tongue right inside me with a growl and I just about screamed, it felt so raw and so perfect… and so deliciously sexy.
The second time he did it, he wriggled his tongue around inside and I just about died.
Yes. Fucking yesss.
This was the most amazing thing ever.
I seriously couldn’t believe it was happening…
Filthy Beautiful: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #2) Page 21
