I ignored Courteney’s phone calls, her texts.
I tried to focus on rebuilding my life after leaving my band, you know, one day at a fucking time. Get my shit together. Sever this fucked-up attachment to my best friend’s little sister.
That’s all it was. Misguided, mistaken, inappropriate attachment.
Fucking lust and hormones and sexual frustration.
So I beat out my frustrations on the drums and the punching bag.
And then I started avoiding my friends, too.
I took to working out at a twenty-four hour gym near my place late at night, because every time I saw Trey, he fucking laughed at me. I didn’t even need to say anything. He just took one look at my face, shook his head, flashed those goddamn dimples at me and said, “Ooooooh, that little honey.”
Trey was a good-looking guy. Be a shame if I had to punch him in the face or something.
So I just stayed away.
* * *
I was just getting out of my shower after a workout when my phone rang. When I checked the screen it said Buzzer.
It was ten-thirty at night. Someone was at the front door of my building. And it better not be fucking her.
I picked up. “Yeah.”
“It’s Courteney,” came the voice.
“No thanks,” I said, and hung up.
It rang again as I was pulling on my sweats. The buzzer again. I answered. “Go home, Court.”
“Buzz me up,” she said.
“Not happening. Go home.”
“Don’t hang up!” she shouted, just as I was about to hang up. “Oh—never mind. I see someone coming through your lobby. Must be a neighbor. Maybe he’ll let me in if I explain how you finger banged me the other day and then—”
Buzzzzzzzz.
She was cut right off when I buzzed her in. Hopefully it was loud enough that it drowned out her voice down there, too.
Two minutes later she was stepping off the elevator on my floor. I stood in the open doorway of my apartment, waiting for her, just in case she felt like airing our personal bullshit in my hallway, too.
She didn’t.
She strut toward me—a skin-tight white dress hugging her curves, with a low-cut front and too much cleavage—looking like some kind of man-eater. With a backpack purse and sneakers.
“What the shit are you wearing?”
She stopped right in front of me, thrust one leg out and cocked her hip, striking some kind of model pose. “You like it?”
My mouth opened but nothing came out.
She walked right past me into my apartment and tossed her little backpack purse thing onto my couch, as I watched her ass, hypnotized.
I followed her inside and shut the door. She sat down on the couch and toed off her shoes like she owned the place.
I didn’t sit.
“What’s with the dress?” I demanded. It was so tight it was practically see-through. I could definitely see her bra through it.
She better not have been out clubbing in that thing.
“This old thing?” She smoothed the fabric over her hips seductively and my dick twitched. “It’s my power color. Don’t you think?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. Power color? What, because it was virginal white?
What kind of game was she playing now?
“Oh, come on. This is what you like, right?” She ran her hands back up her body in the dress—and right over her tits. “Tight dress. Lots of cleavage…” She peeled the fabric open a little more, showing more of her tits. She had some kind of epic pushup bra on that was serving them up like appetizers. Then she leaned back, crossing her bare legs and kinda rubbing them together. She reached down and drifted her fingertips up her shin like in some women’s razor commercial. “Bare legs… smooth skin…”
I grit my teeth. “What are you up to, Courteney?”
She looked right in my eyes and blinked innocently. “I’m seducing you.”
I choked out a laugh, though nothing about this was funny. “What?”
She ran her hands over the couch cushions on either side of her, undaunted. “Do you like having sex here? We could totally do it on this couch…” she muttered, almost to herself. Like I wasn’t involved in that decision.
Then she looked right at me. Like she was waiting for the sex to commence.
My dumbass dick fucking swelled, totally into that idea.
The rest of me…
I rubbed my jaw and coughed awkwardly.
Jesus Christ. What was happening to my life?
I’d never had a chick this hot try this hard to get me into bed. Let’s face it; usually, with a girl this fucking hot, I’d have boned her by now. Like fucking ages ago.
Maybe a couple of times.
But then I’d be distracted by her hot friend, or some other hot chick in the next town over, or what-the-fuck-ever… and I’d pretty much forget about her.
Courteney Clarke wasn’t going away.
She was un-fucking-forgettable. Even if I wanted to forget her, it wasn’t happening.
And she wanted to fuck me. Fucking badly, by the look of things.
And I was turning her down?
What the fuck was wrong with me? My dick was dying to know.
Christ, I was messed-up over this girl.
Woman.
Lusting after her, even when I knew it was wrong…
She’s too fucking young.
No she’s not.
She’s Cary’s little sister.
Who cares.
How long had I been having this goddamn argument with myself?
With her?
I looked her over, sitting there on my couch like a fucking gift waiting to be unwrapped. A fucking gorgeous, sexy, horny gift.
A sweet, beautiful gift any guy should be grateful to be offered.
She wanted me… was working her ass off to get me… and I was telling her no?
Really?
“You need to go home, Courteney,” I told her evenly, even as my heart thudded in my chest.
“Oh, I’ll go home. Later. I’m not done here yet.” She got up and walked over to the bar in the corner of the dining room. “Should we have a drink first? Or just get to it?” She looked at me expectantly, then perused the bottles when I didn’t respond. “You’re not gonna offer a girl a drink?”
She waited.
When I didn’t speak, she went on. “Maybe if I had ID, huh?”
“Courteney.”
“Right to the sex, then. Okay. I’m not wearing any panties, so. Easy access.” She turned to face me and laid her hands on her thighs, hooking a finger just under the edge of her dress. “Should I take the dress off or leave it on?”
Jesus. Where the fuck did she get all this shit?
“You’ll have to let me know what to do here,” she went on. “You know, teach me the ropes. But I’m a really good student. Though I’ve never taken a class this dirty. I figured the dress was obvious. But other than taking it off and standing here naked, I’m not sure about the next move.”
I stared at her, my blood boiling. I wanted her to stop… and I wanted her to go on.
“Do you want to see me naked now? Or should we undress you first? Maybe you could teach me how to give a good blowjob.”
Holy Christ.
“I mean, not a good blowjob. I’d rather learn how to give an epic blowjob.”
“You need to stop right there,” I forced out.
“Why? You don’t like blowjobs?”
I raked my hand through my hair. “Where did you get all that shit?”
“What shit?”
“All that shit coming out of your mouth.”
“Oh. I don’t know. From in my head? I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.” She rested her ass on my dining room table and lounged back.
“Think about what?” Yup. I just had to ask.
“You know.” She looked me over, her eyes drifting down my body. Which was when I remembered I wasn’t wearing a shirt. Her gaz
e paused on my bare chest, then on my dick area. My sweats were pretty loose. Was it obvious my dick was half-hard? “About us. Doing all the sexy stuff.”
I swallowed, shifting a little. “I already told you we’re not doing that.”
“Uh, yeah we are.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s not happening?”
“I know you want to.”
“Wanting and doing are not the same thing, sweetheart.”
She shrugged. “But you do want to. Which means eventually, you’re going to.”
I laughed again, but it was forced and came out like another nervous cough. “Eventually?”
“I’ll just wait.” She shrugged. “I’m not in a hurry. I mean, my job is basically bullshit and no one’s expecting me anywhere.”
“So, now you’re just moving in?”
“Whatever. I’ll just hang out. You’ll change your mind.” Then she pushed off the table and walked toward me.
I stiffened. I didn’t trust myself to move, or to breathe.
Fuck, though… she smelled good.
I tried to hold my breath.
When she was close, she put her hand out to touch me—and I finally backed away. I backed right against the living room wall behind me.
She came to stand right in front of me. She held her hand in front of my chest, but didn’t quite touch me. I could feel the warmth coming off her skin, the energy sparking between us.
My nipples hardened.
If she came any closer, she was gonna walk right into my hard dick.
“I know you think you’re doing the right thing,” she said softly, looking up into my eyes. “But it doesn’t feel right. Does it?”
She waited, but I didn’t answer that.
She pressed her hand gently to my chest… and it was like embers prickling my skin. Every hair on my body stood on end.
“It felt right when you were in my bed,” she said.
I cleared my throat and laid my hand over hers, removing it from my skin. “Come sit down,” I said, my voice all gravelly and strange. I led her over to the couch and sat her down.
Then I sat on the edge of the coffee table, facing her, and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees to cover my hard-on. “Listen to me, Courteney.”
She sat neatly in front of me, waiting.
So I gave her the talk. The one I’d been practicing in the shower for days now.
At least, I tried too.
“You’re… a beautiful girl,” I started. “You’re very… special. Any man would be lucky to… have the chance to be with you.”
She stared at me in silence, waiting.
“But you do not want to fuck me.”
She didn’t even blink. “Yes, I do.”
Christ. She was not making this easy. My cock fucking throbbed. Her soft lips. Her pretty face, up close… Those soft, honey eyes, blazing with purpose.
“No,” I said. “You really don’t.”
“Why do you keep telling me what I want? I know what I want.”
“I’m not the right man for you.”
“Are you good at sex?”
“What?”
“When you fuck girls, do they like it?”
I shut my mouth. No way was I touching that one.
“Do they come?” she pressed.
I didn’t answer that either.
“I want to have sex,” she said. “I’ve never had sex before. I mean, other than when you ate me out, and—”
“Don’t. I don’t wanna hear you say it.”
“You ate me out,” she said, slowly, while I ran a hand over my face and just tried not to hear the words coming out of her mouth. “And you put your fingers in me. And it felt really, really good.”
“Court—”
“So I’m here right now because I’m an adult, I’ve never had sex, I want to have sex, and I want to have it with someone who knows what they’re doing and who actually, you know, cares about me. Not just some random guy from the bar or Tinder or whatever.”
My jaw spasmed and I clenched my teeth.
Nope. I still wasn’t down with that idea, either.
“I choose you,” she said.
Fuck. My knee was bouncing up and down.
Was I sweating?
Yeah. It was fucking hot in here.
“It’s not about, you know, being together,” she said. “Like you said… it’s just a sex thing.”
“Courteney—”
“You’ve had a lot of it,” she cut me off, “and I haven’t had any. Well, other than what you’ve done to me so far…”
Jesus Christ. I grit my teeth and just let her talk. Maybe if I let her get it all out, she’d finally shut up about it.
“… I want to have more, and I don’t want to do it with a stranger. I mean, first of all, who knows what his motives are or if he can be trusted to be nice to me? And second of all, what if he’s terrible at sex? And how would I even know? I don’t want to be having bad sex out of the gate and not even know it.”
She blinked at me expectantly while I just sat here, fucking vibrating. I had a feeling she wasn’t done yet anyway.
“No matter how much of a dick you can be, in general,” she went on, “I know you care about me in the basic sense. I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me or use me or give me a super lame sexual experience. You know, like come without making me come, or—”
“Courteney,” I gritted out. “Listen to me—”
“I’m listening.”
“You’re a beautiful girl, but—”
“You said that already.”
“It would be really… really… great… if I could help you out here. But—”
“So why don’t you?”
“Because I can’t. Because it’s a bad idea. Because it’s not what’s best for you—”
“You’re really bad at this,” she said, shaking her head. She looked like she felt sorry for me or something.
“Huh?”
“You’ve never actually done this before, have you?”
“Done what?”
“Turned a girl down for sex.”
“That is not true.”
“You’ve said no to a girl? Besides me?”
“Uh, yeah. Lots of times.”
Her eyes narrowed at me in suspicion. “What girls?”
I laughed, but it really wasn’t funny. “Believe me, if I had enough dicks to accommodate every chick who ever tried to fuck me at some party or show, yeah… I’d probably have tried.” I rubbed my hand over my jaw. Didn’t love talking to her about this, but she asked. And she wanted me to treat her like a grownup… so here was the adult truth. “But even I couldn’t possibly keep up with that demand. Besides that… what do you think I am, really?”
“You mean, besides a manslut?”
I frowned. “I like sex. If that makes me a slut in your books, fine. But I have this thing called taste,” I informed her. “I don’t actually find every chick who wants to fuck me attractive, just because she wants to fuck me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So yes, I’ve said no to women.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“And I’m saying no to you now.”
“Right.”
“So, why don’t you be an adult about it and go home?”
“No.”
“No? What do you mean, no?”
“I said no.”
“I said no.”
“I know. I heard you.”
I sat back and took a breath. “You know… if I was a chick and you were a dude, this conversation would be getting creepy by now.”
“You’re not a chick. And I’m not a dude.”
I sighed. I was running out of arguments here.
“Are you saying I’m harassing you? In your books, I’m a predator or something?”
“I never said that. It’s, uh… flattering… that you want to…” Shit. My knee was bouncing again. I was still fucking hard. Every word that came out of my mouth was t
he exact opposite of what my body wanted me to say. “It’s just not ever happening, so you need to stop trying.”
“Why? Because if I keep trying, eventually you’ll give in?”
Fuck me. Nailed it.
She stared at me, waiting. But I was running dry.
“You know how I know that?” Her eyes drifted over my face. “You shaved.”
“What?”
“You’re clean-shaven right now. But you keep swiping your hand over your beard, like it’s still there.”
Did I?
“It’s one of your tells,” she said. “When you’re nervous. Or agitated or something. You swipe your hand over your beard.”
“I’m not nervous,” I lied.
But there was really no point. Clearly, she wasn’t buying it.
She narrowed her eyes at me a little.
Then she lounged back on the couch. Her legs weren’t crossed this time, and I could see right up her dress. Her legs weren’t spread, either… but I definitely saw way more than I could handle seeing. A flash of her pink pussy…
I got up and put my hands in the pockets of my sweats to try to conceal my rock hard dick.
“I can’t have sex with you, sweetheart, okay?”
She peered up at me. “Because you don’t want to?”
I sighed again.
“Why don’t you take your hands out of your pockets and say that again.”
I gave her what I hoped was a dirty look—the cold kind. But she just rolled her eyes at me.
“I’m going to have sex with someone,” she said. “That’s not a threat, it’s just the truth. Maybe I’ll find someone else I want to have sex with, sometime. But I haven’t yet. So, I think it should be you.”
Fuck my life.
How was I supposed to handle with this?
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
“I’m an adult, and I want to have sex with you,” she went on. “You want to have sex with me. We’re both single. We’ll use a condom. Give me one good reason we shouldn’t.”
“I’m not good for you.”
“So you keep saying.”
“Because it’s true.”
“I’m asking you to have sex with me. I’m not asking you to marry me.”
I didn’t respond to that.
“I’m not good enough to have sex with you? Is that it?”
Filthy Beautiful: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #2) Page 25
