I sighed and pushed bowl number three, which was floating on the water, toward Shayla. “Okay, it wasn’t all great.”
“Tell me more,” Shay said, munching popcorn.
“I mean, it started out kinda weird…” I tried to find the words to sum up that night, and the next morning. “I went over to his place in a slutty white dress to seduce him.”
“Oh, God,” Larissa said.
“He, uh, tried to fend me off and convince me we shouldn’t, but I won. So he took me to a hotel with candles and wine and stuff and we did it a few times and it was amazing. Then we had a huge fight and now we’re not talking to each other.”
“Shit,” Shay said. “You served up your pussy on a platter for him—your virgin pussy—and now he’s not talking to you?”
Ick. Her words were so cringeworthy, yet so true.
“Cold,” Larissa said.
“Ice cold,” Shay agreed.
“I mean, I’m kinda not talking to him,” I admitted. Then I groaned and smeared a wet hand over my face. I probably looked like a half-drowned, half-drunk raccoon. I’d put on a bunch of makeup today in my weird, desperate play to make Xander jealous.
I so owed Stephan an apology for using him like a pawn in my sad, twisted, drunk-ass games.
“This may be all my fault,” I muttered.
“Nope. Not your fault,” Angie said, because of course, she would. Best friend code. You didn’t kick your bestie when she was down—you lifted her up, no matter what a dumbass she was being. “He’s a dick. You chose him to be your first, and now he’s fighting with you?”
“Yup,” Larissa agreed. “That’s a dick move.”
I glanced up. My friends were all looking at me with big, soft sympathy eyes. Even Shayla.
For once, it seemed like they were all in agreement.
“Guys. I’m a dumbass,” I moaned. “Help me.”
“Okay. Here’s what you need to do,” Shay said. “No more seducing him. Cut him off and see if he comes back for more. Only way you’ll really know what he’s made of.”
“That’s true,” Larissa said.
“If he fucked you your first time,” Shay said, “and doesn’t come back for more, you’ll get your answer.”
“You agree with this?” I asked Angie.
“Yeah…” she said. “But… I’d probably cave and call him.”
“Boooo!” Shay and Larissa groaned, in stereo.
Angie shrugged. “Truth.”
I sighed and drank more water. I definitely wasn’t calling him. Not in the state I was in right now.
They were probably right about the stop-seducing-him thing, though. If he didn’t come after me at this point, why bother?
He should be coming after me, right?
But did I even want him to come after me, if all he wanted was to have sex with me, then brush me off like it meant nothing?
Didn’t it mean anything more to him than just sex?
I mean, it didn’t, clearly. He said so, right to my face, right after he had sex with me. And here I was, still waiting for him to take back his words or something? Apologize? Tell me he cared?
How stupid was I?
Idiot (noun): A person who expects a pig to be anything other than a pig.
I was afraid I already had all the evidence I needed, and I was just failing to accept it—that Xander Rush was a pig, and he didn’t care about me other than as Cary’s little sister. And maybe a place to keep his dick warm for a little while?
I did put it right in his face, after all. Me and my sexy white dress.
Pussy on a platter.
Damn.
“So what are you gonna do?” Shay demanded.
“I don’t know. What’s the point?” I lamented. “After we did it, he acted like all he wanted was the sex, and then he tried to brush me off like an annoying hangover.”
“Okay, look at me, dummy,” Shay demanded. I looked at her, startled. “If all he wanted was sex, he wouldn’t be hanging around the pool all day glaring daggers at all of us for partying with you, and mentally kicking Stephan’s face in.”
“He did that?”
“He did that,” Larissa said.
“Oh.”
“He definitely wants you,” Shay said. “That’s not even a question.”
“Totally,” Larissa said.
“There’s only one real question here,” Shay added. “Is he worth sweating like this? I mean, I wonder if he’s seeing anyone else…”
And everyone went silent.
“Of course he is,” I muttered.
“Why would you say that?” Larissa said. “You don’t know that.”
“Why wouldn’t he be?”
“Well, you could always crash that bachelor auction,” Shay suggested. “See how he behaves at that thing.”
Uggghhhh.
Fuck me. The fucking bachelor auction.
Was that stupid thing still happening?
“Fuck. Is he seriously auctioning himself off?” I asked Larissa.
“Well, technically… my brother is. It’s his event.” She shrugged. “Sorry. It’s for a good cause.”
“I know.” Sick kids. That was a really, really good cause.
But I hated the idea of Xander standing there onstage in a nightclub while rich women mentally undressed him and bid on a date with him.
“Seriously,” Shay said. “You have got to be a fly on the wall in that room. If he’s polite about the whole thing, cool. Then you know he’s just doing it for Trey and the kids. But if he eats up the attention like a greedy ho… you’ve seen all you need to see.”
“Shit…” I muttered, and sank deeper into the hot tub.
My girlfriends exchanged a concerned look.
Larissa sighed. “Maybe he’ll surprise you, babe.”
“Right.”
“Maybe acting like it was all about sex was just that—an act,” Shay said. “Maybe he’s just trying to play it cool?” She looked to Larissa and Angie for support. “Guys are idiots sometimes…”
“Had to be,” Larissa agreed. “No way it was all about sex. He cares about you more than that, Court.”
“Does he?” Angie said skeptically.
“Of course he does,” Larissa said. “He was worried about Stephan taking advantage of her while she was drunk.”
“That’s just a stupid big brother thing, though,” I complained. “Like he’s BFFs with mine, and that makes him think he can butt into everything.”
“Maybe he feels guilty?” Larissa suggested. “You know, like he doesn’t want to make it into a big thing and then Cary finds out? Especially if you get hurt or something.”
“Yeah.” Shay snorted. “He’s trying to protect himself so he doesn’t get his ass kicked.”
“Hmm,” Larissa mused. “Do you think Cary could kick Xander’s ass? He’s got, like, a lot of muscles…”
“I get it,” I cut in, frustrated. “And it’s sweet of him to not want to upset my brother. But… what about me?” I looked around at my friends for help, including Angie, who’d been pretty quiet.
My best friend was sitting next to me with a thoughtful/sympathetic look on her face.
“Doesn’t he care about my feelings at all?” I asked her.
Angie sighed, like she really wished she had something nicer to say. But best friend code demanded that she also be honest with me.
“Not if he doesn’t have any,” she said.
* * *
My brother’s yard was dark. Except for the damn automatic lights that came on over the driveway when I triggered the sensor. I’d had Larissa drop me outside the gate, but I forgot about the stupid motion sensor lights.
I stole through the trees alongside the house, swearing to myself and hissing at the lights to turn off.
They didn’t.
Around back, the golden lanterns around the pool and gardens were glowing dully. I crept to the poolhouse door, carrying my flip-flops in hand, eased the door open and slipped inside. I�
��d just eased it closed again in total silence, or so I thought, when something stirred in the dark of the room.
I screamed bloody, rapey murder, grabbing at the doorknob to get out of there before the killer hacked me to pieces.
A lamp switched on and Xander sat on the couch, squint-glaring at me and dragging a hand through his hair—as I panted and tried to stave off the heart attack.
“FUCK. Don’t do that.”
“Are you drunk,” he growled, “or sober right now?”
I glared at him and threw my purse on a table, dropping my flip-flops with a splat. “Half-and-half. Why?”
“I just wanna gauge how this conversation is gonna go down.”
“Uh, it’s like three in the morning. I’m exhausted and half-cut and you just scared the shit out of me. This conversation is not happening.” I went straight for the bathroom down the hall, not even bothering to tell him to get the hell out.
Maybe I didn’t want him to get out.
I just slammed the bathroom door behind me and splashed water on my face. I took off my stupid smeared makeup, brushed my teeth, and walked back out into the hall.
Xander was waiting, leaning on the wall with his big, muscular arms crossed over his chest, his sleeveless shirt and sweats clinging to all his fabulous muscles. He looked edible in every way, and I loathed him for it.
I tried to ignore him, going straight into the bedroom, where I dropped my skirt. I had nothing on underneath. My bikini was in a soggy ball in a plastic bag in my purse. My long, rumpled T-shirt, which was now all I was wearing, covered my goods. Mostly.
Xander stood in the doorway, watching me in the light that poured in from the hall.
“What?” I barked, glaring at him as I stood by the bed, plucking off the extra pillows so I could get in. “Are you gonna let me sleep? Or are you here for more sex?”
“Did you have sex with that kid?”
“I didn’t have sex with anyone. Other than you,” I said accusingly.
“Did he touch you?”
“What if he did?”
His arms dropped. He stalked over to me and stood right in front of me, searching my eyes, my face. “Did he touch you?” he repeated, in a scary-low, quiet voice.
Damn, he was intimidating. Or at least he would be if I was a guy. No wonder Larissa said Stephan was scared of him.
Even though I was mad at Xander, I didn’t like it when he was mad at me.
“No,” I forced out. “But what if he did?”
His eyes continued to read my face. I squirmed a little, uncomfortable, aware that I was almost naked. All he had to do was reach out and stick his hand up my shirt, and he’d strike gold—and I’d probably melt into a horny, wet puddle.
“You’re trying to make me jealous.”
“Why would I do that? You don’t care about me, right?”
“I never fucking said I don’t care about you, Courteney. Don’t be a brat. But let’s just be realistic about what this is.”
“And what is this?”
“It’s sex,” he growled out. “You want me to treat you like a grownup, then start acting like one. You want to have sex with me. I want to have sex with you. Just like you said. So, grownups fuck. It doesn’t have to be more than that. It’s not more than that.”
I stared at him. His words hurt me.
But I couldn’t deny that my body liked the rest of it.
When he stood so close to me, and I could feel his heat, and he looked at me like that… My whole body reacted. I wanted to slam myself against him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to kiss me.
I wanted him to do every filthy thing he wanted to my body.
So why didn’t I just take what he was offering?
I could be that kind of girl. Just have an epically hot sex buddy and fuck like animals, because it was fun and it felt good.
Couldn’t I?
“So what are you suggesting?” I challenged.
“I’m not suggesting anything. I’m telling you, straight up, that we can fuck.” His gaze drifted down to my mouth. “But it has to be just between us. You can’t tell Cary any fucking thing about it, and that’s all there is to it. You’re not telling him we’re together or any shit. We’re not together. Don’t make this anything more than what it is, which is sex.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, still unwilling to totally accept that.
So very stupid.
His gaze drifted down to my boobs, my legs, and back up to meet my eyes again. “I want you on my dick, Courteney, okay? I want to fuck you, and I’ll teach you whatever it is you want to learn. And here’s a lesson for you. Sex can be hot as hell when it’s forbidden.” His eyes burned into mine. “So? You like it when I talk dirty to you? Well, here’s one for you. I’m the pig who can’t keep it in my pants, right? And you’re the forbidden fruit. That’s all it is.”
I slapped him for that. Hard.
God, that pissed me off.
What was I, some twisted fetish to him?
His eyes flared, a pink stain appearing on his cheek as he glowered at me. My heart raced in my chest.
The air between us crackled with charged electricity.
Then he took my face in his hands and kissed me. Desire shot through my body. He slipped one hand down between my legs, because as always, he knew just what to do—sexually. My pussy was already aching for him.
Because no matter how he pissed me off… my girl parts were hopelessly enamored with Xander Rush.
He teased his fingers over my tingling flesh, and my knees quivered. I gripped his shoulders for balance as he teased me… gradually increasing the pressure as his fingers swept over me, again and again, and his tongue swept over mine.
I moaned into our kiss and he pulled something out of his pocket. When I glanced down, he was holding a condom. He ran his finger around my clit. He nuzzled into my neck, his short beard brushing my skin and sending tingles down my spine. My nipples tightened, humming with arousal.
I sighed, hungry and tired and restless with desire. He just loved making me horny for him. Making me wait.
He was such a dick that way.
“You want me to fuck you, Courteney?” He bit my earlobe lightly, and my hands drifted down his taut stomach toward his dick. “Give you what you want?”
“Maybe…”
“How about a yes?” he whispered in my ear. “Because I’ve got another lesson for you. It’s called spread your legs and quit fucking with me.”
I shoved at him a little. “Shut up and just give it to me. You’re such an asshole.”
“You fucking love it.”
Maybe I did, because I already had my hand in his sweats and I was grasping his hot cock. He started to fuck it into my hand, and he delved his tongue in my mouth again as he walked me back toward the bed with him.
Then he pushed me down and spread my legs. He rolled on the condom and fell over me, and quickly rammed into me. I cried out, and he looked into my eyes.
When I wriggled with impatience, bucking my hips into him to take him deeper, he started fucking me, hard. I didn’t even care that it still hurt a bit.
He pushed my shirt up, baring my breasts, and his gaze moved over my naked skin. He held himself over me on his arms, fucking me so hard my boobs bounced all over the place… and his eyes did all kinds of filthy things to me as he watched himself fuck me.
“Harder,” I said, mostly just to see what he’d do.
He scooped a hand under my ass and lifted my hips a bit, and gave it to me harder.
God that felt good…
I moved my hips, meeting every thrust, and he kinda growled.
“Yeah, baby,” I moaned, trying out the words to see how they felt. I dragged my nails down his chest, and his nipples hardened. He met my eyes, and he still looked angry. “You mad at me? Show me.”
He lowered himself over me and nipped at my lip with his teeth. “You a bad girl now…?” He groaned as he slammed into me.
“Yeah. Yeah, make me your
bad girl…”
“Fuck…” He groaned again as he started kissing my neck. “All I could think about when you went out with your friends was getting you under me so I could fuck this tight pussy…”
One hand slid to my breast and squeezed, his fingers teasing my nipple as he kept thrusting into me… and wildfire swept through my body. I bore down on his dick, squeezing him on every thrust, and he picked up the pace.
“You came home to me so fucking wet…” he groaned into my ear. “You’re gonna come so hard on my cock, aren’t you—”
He didn’t even get to finish that sentence before the tidal wave gripped me. I squeezed my thighs around him and kinda screamed, and he pounded into me as I broke into pieces under him. I squealed and panted, rubbing myself against him with every thrust, taking every pulse of pleasure he could wring from my body.
Then I went limp, my whole body shuddering as he kept fucking me, slowly.
Holy God. That was… epic.
Who knew a man could make me come so hard?
I blinked and tried to focus on something other than him, as I gathered my wits.
Then I pushed at his chest.
“Get up.”
He stopped fucking me. We were both panting as he studied my face. I was already limp with exhaustion.
“Get off me,” I repeated. “Pull out, please.”
He pushed himself up on his arms, slowly, but he didn’t pull out. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, pushing at his hip, and finally, he eased off, pulling out. I rolled out from under him and pushed my shirt down to cover my body.
He sat there staring at me, panting, as I grabbed a pair of sweats from a drawer and pulled them on. He watched me in a daze.
“What’s—?”
“I’m done. Thanks for the fuck.” I glanced at him, at his shocked face and his hungry eyes. “It’s just sex, right? Hope you enjoyed it.”
“Courteney—”
I walked out, because why would I care if he enjoyed it? My pussy didn’t care.
I left him there, with his gorgeous body all naked and his big, hard dick with the condom still on. I left the poolhouse, while maybe he struggled to pull on his clothes, or deal with his erection. I didn’t look back.
Filthy Beautiful: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #2) Page 31
