“Us?”
“Me and Matt. When we were putting the Players together…”
Huh. I studied him.
Equal footing. That’s what he’d promised me when we put this band together.
And now they were making deathbed playlists without me?
Maybe if I wasn’t in such a bad mood already, I wouldn’t have cared. But I was in a ripe fucking mood, and that shit wasn’t cool.
Was anyone planning on telling me about this playlist thing?
Or letting me listen to them?
“It’s not a big deal…” Ash offered, off my look.
“Yeah, it’s easy,” Danica said. “I mean, it took me like an hour to put mine together…” She faded off.
“You made one?”
“Um. Yes?”
Nice. Danica wasn’t even in the band.
Ash looked like he was about to say something else, but then some dudes came by to clear our table off the dance floor, and we all got displaced.
The volume on the music went up. I ended up over by one of the bars with Lucas and some other guys from Trey’s crew.
Summer swung by with a gin and juice for me, even though I said I didn’t want one. I had a few sips to be polite. I introduced her to Jordan.
I made small talk with Brody.
Then instead of hanging with my band for the rest of the night as I’d planned to—you know, before Courteney showed up and bid on me—I thanked my friends for coming, congratulated Trey on the success of the event, and headed out into the night.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Courteney
Xander came home while I was packing my things.
He walked right into the poolhouse without knocking. It was dark inside except for in the bedroom, where I had the lights blazing while I packed. He came to stand in the bedroom doorway, watching me.
He wasn’t wearing the dress clothes he’d been wearing onstage at the club. He’d changed into his usual clothes. But he obviously hadn’t stuck around very long after the auction was done.
He’d come after me, maybe.
I ignored him. I stood by the bedroom closet, pulling my clothes off the hangers and rolling them up, tucking them into the suitcase laid out on the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Packing. Haven’t you ever seen a girl pack before?” I tossed him a dirty look, maybe to remind him of the way this summer from hell had started—in this room, with me packing his shit into garbage bags for him.
He took a step into the room, cautiously. Like I was some wild animal that might bite him at any second.
Which I might.
“Why are you packing?”
“Because I’m moving out, obviously.”
“And going where?”
“I’ll go back to my parents’ place for a while, and then I’ll figure it out.” I threw him the barest of glares. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“What about Cary?” he asked carefully. “I thought you were here to try to help him.”
“Yeah, well. He’s been paying me to do a job that doesn’t even exist, so something tells me he doesn’t really give a fuck where I am. And I can still look in on him from wherever I am in town.”
Hmm. Somewhere along the way, my neatly rolled balls of clothing had disintegrated and I was now pretty much slamming my T-shirts and hoodies into the suitcase.
“Court—”
“Hey, here’s a thought. Maybe if I drop in to see him, I’ll actually get to see him, instead of just being someone who lives here but never gets to see him.” I couldn’t even see what I was doing anymore; I just smashed as many clothes in as I could, as fast as possible.
“Why are you moving out, Courteney?” he asked me, softly. Like he fucking cared or something.
It pissed me off.
“Because, obviously, you and I can’t live in the same place. It’s not going to work. It doesn’t work and it never has.”
“That’s not true—”
“Oh, it’s true. Trust me on that. Every summer when I came back here was the best and the worst time of my life. And you know why?” I zipped up my suitcase and turned to glare at him. “It was the best time because I got to hope and pray and fantasize that I might actually get to see you. And it was the worst time because whenever you showed up, you always pissed all over it with your manwhoring ways.”
He stared at me, his eyes looking kind of soft and greenish in the light, and I couldn’t even stand having him look at me like that right now. I just wanted to get away from him so he couldn’t make me feel like shit about myself anymore.
I grabbed my backpack off the floor and started stuffing things into it—makeup, jewelry. Whatever. I didn’t even know what I was doing anymore. Everything had spiraled weirdly out of control, and most of all, my own actions.
Tonight, at the bar, trying to bid on him… Trying to win him?
Why?
To prove something to him? To myself? To make some stupid point? That he could go out at night, adulting, and I could show up and play adult too?
And I was willing to put fifty-thousand down to prove it.
Fifty-five, actually.
I just hadn’t realized that the adults in that particular playing field would out-adult me so fast. That they’d outbid me in what felt like seconds.
It was humiliating.
And it was all my fault. I’d only humiliated myself.
I zipped up my backpack and put it on the bed. Then I grabbed the first empty box from the stack of them against the wall. I put it on the floor by the bookshelf, sat down next to it, and started packing my books.
“Courteney… I can’t let you do this. Not because of me. If one of us has to go… I’ll go.”
“You’re not ‘letting’ me do anything. I didn’t ask your permission.”
He took a step toward me, but I didn’t look up. “You really thought I wouldn’t try to stop you?”
“You weren’t supposed to find me. I figured you’d be at the bar all night with the grownups. And I’d be long gone before you got back.”
“You don’t need to move out. This is your brother’s home. Your home.”
I looked up at him blankly. “This has never been my home. And my brother hasn’t really been my brother since I was fourteen years old.”
“Don’t say that.”
I looked away and resumed packing. “What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be at the bar, getting to know the rich lady you’re having dinner with?”
“I’m not having dinner with her.”
“Right.”
“Courteney… stop packing and talk to me.” He came closer, standing right next to me. “I’m not going on a date with any other woman.”
I stopped again and looked up at him. “They were bidding over a hundred grand for you when I left. Somebody won that date with you.”
“It’s not a real date, Court. It’s for charity.”
“Uh-huh.” I went back to my packing. “Tell that to all the horny women in the audience with the open checkbooks. They could write a check to the children’s foundation anytime. They were there to bid on something they saw that they wanted.”
“Okay. And why the fuck were you bidding?”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“For fuck’s sake, will you look at me?”
I stopped packing and looked. “What do you want me to say, Xander? Larissa asked me if I wanted to go. And I went. But Trey had already filled the seats at their table, and Summer said I could sit with her.” True. “You weren’t the only reason I was there.” Not true, but whatever. “I had friends there. And it was a charity event. Since when is bidding on a charity for kids a bad idea?”
“And you’re telling me you had fifty-five grand to throw away?”
“I wasn’t throwing it away. It was a donation.”
“Bullshit. You weren’t donating to the charity. You were bidding on something you saw that you wanted.”
&n
bsp; Oh, no. Fuck no.
He didn’t get to throw my words back at me.
Even if they were true.
“Yeah, well, I lost.” I dropped the book in my hand into the box. It wasn’t full yet, but I’d just have to come back for it later. I needed to get out of here.
“And what if you didn’t lose?” he pressed, as I got to my feet. He loomed into my space, kinda trapping me. “Where were you gonna get that money from?”
I shrugged. “Cary would’ve paid it. It’s for charity.”
“Right. Great idea. And how exactly were you planning to explain to him why he had to cough up fifty-five-thousand dollars so you could go on a dinner date with me?”
“Whatever. I’d sell my car if I had to. I’m not destitute.”
“You’d sell your fucking car?” He was in my face, and he was getting all growly and loud. “Just so some other woman couldn’t go to dinner with me?”
“Why are you yelling at me? I lost the stupid bid, okay?”
“Because what the fuck were even doing there? You shouldn’t even be in that bar.”
I rolled my eyes, hard. “For Christ’s sake. This again?”
“What the hell were you trying to prove?”
“Why do you even care? I lost the bid. I left the bar. You got what you wanted.” Now I was in his face, too, and we were yelling at each other again. “So, congratulations! Guess what? You won. Again.”
“What do you mean, I won?”
I threw up my hands. “You won, Xander. You always win.”
He looked genuinely fucking confused about that, and it just pissed me off more. “Win… what?”
“Everything! Do you think I ever wanted to see you hanging out with other girls… Fucking other girls? Because you’re fucking right I could see that, right from my bedroom window, through this stupid window of yours!” I pointed accusingly at the window, where the shades were open.
And across the dark backyard, I could faintly see my bedroom window… beyond the reflection of us in the glass, yelling at each other.
He looked in the direction I was pointing… made the fucking connection in his head… and looked at me.
“Courteney…” His voice softened. “Shit.” He gave a heavy sigh and rubbed his hand over his beard. “Christ, I didn’t realize that. I never meant for you to see… that…” He glanced at the bed behind me, where he’d probably enjoyed many, many conquests.
Fortunately for me, I really hadn’t seen that many. After the first time I got an eyeful, I learned to close my curtains. Mostly.
“Of course you didn’t realize it,” I said. “Because you didn’t care. You never cared about me.”
I reached to pick up my suitcase, but he stopped me, his hand on my wrist.
“Don’t say that.” His voice was all low and soft, the way it was that night at the hotel… when he took my virginity. When he was so… tender with me. “That is not true, Court.”
I pulled from his grasp, glaring at him.
“It’s totally true.” I started counting on my fingers as I spoke. “You care about fucking, drumming, working out, clothes… Holy shit, there’s a lot of them, aren’t there? And nowhere have I ever been on that list of Xander Rush’s favorite things.”
“That’s fucking bullshit. I care about you. I’ve always cared about you.”
“Right.”
“I just made sure that a dude won that auction so I wouldn’t have to go to dinner with some woman and you’d get upset. So don’t tell me I don’t care about you. Because it’s definitely not on my bucket list to go on a date with a guy, okay?”
Okay. That surprised me.
“Wait. You’re going on a date with a guy?”
He sighed. “It’s not a real date.”
I considered that. I was there, at the club tonight. I felt the vibe in the room when Xander walked onstage. And I heard the people talking at the tables around me. “Um. Does he know it’s not a real date?”
“I’m pretty sure he does.”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
He swiped a hand over his beard again. “Fuck.”
A smile crept over my face, and I swallowed a laugh.
He scowled at me. “This funny to you?”
“Kind of.” I snorted a little, then gave up on trying to hold it in and laughed for real. “Yes. It’s very fucking funny.”
“Great. Glad this is entertaining for you.”
“It really is.”
He shook his head. “What the fuck,” he said, softly. “What the fuck am I gonna do with you?”
I stopped laughing.
“I don’t even know how to do the right thing anymore,” he said, almost to himself. “I’m fucking trying here.”
I swallowed. “I’m sorry. I’m being a bitch.” I hugged myself, and I didn’t mean to, but it kinda hiked my boobs up. He glanced down automatically, checking me out, and his eyes darkened. “This isn’t really your fault, Xander.”
He met my eyes again. “You don’t need to move out, Court.”
“I can’t live here with you,” I told him, honestly.
He inched closer to me, so there was barely a breath of space left between us. “I thought I was supposed to leave you alone. I tried to. You wouldn’t speak to me. And I wasn’t gonna chase you down and pressure you to keep fucking me. I figured if you didn’t want to keep having sex on my terms, I should just leave you alone.”
“I don’t want your stupid terms,” I told him, because I had nothing left to lose at this point. “Your terms are bullshit. I want you.”
He stared at me, and my words just kind of crackled between us, like sparks drifting in the air.
“I don’t want to hurt you, though,” he said, slowly.
I dropped my arms, so there was nothing between us. “Then just stop doing it.”
He reached for me, burying his hands in my hair. Then he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. It was slow, hot… deep. My whole body softened as the heat swept through me and I clung to him.
Then my hands were up his shirt and he was tugging down my dress, pulling at my bra and baring my breasts. I pushed up his shirt and he tore it off.
“I can’t stay away from you,” he panted. We were both already breathless.
“I don’t want to stay away from you,” I whispered.
We smashed together, making out as I undid his pants and took out his cock. I ran my hands up and down his shaft, squeezing his hard length as he buried his face in my boobs, kissing me. His hands went up my dress, and somehow he eradicated my panties. I wasn’t sure if he’d ripped them or if they floated down my legs when I wasn’t paying attention, but they were gone.
He lifted me to him, hiking my legs up around his hips.
Then we were tumbling on the bed. He was on me, his pants down around his hips. He ground his hard cock against me as I groped him. I ran my hands all over his body with impatience… but he was distracted, digging awkwardly in his pockets. When he produced a condom, I couldn’t help scowling.
“Was that for the bar?”
He gave me a look. “Am I at the bar right now?” He tore it open and rolled it on.
Okay. Good point.
Then he was kissing me again, and I was melting all over. He pushed my knees up and drove into me.
“Oh, God!” I cried out, clutching at his ass and trying to pull him deeper. Why did it feel kind of sore, awkward, when he wasn’t deep… and so much better when he was deeper? It was like he was made to fill me up.
“Better…?” he hissed, as he sank into me.
“Yeah. Just… there.” I couldn’t speak. I just grabbed at him and tried to make him become part of me as he fucked me, hard. Definitely harder than he’d ever fucked me before.
My skin tingled. Warmth swept through my chest. My toes buzzed with pleasure.
It was like every cell in my body came alive at once.
I loved it.
I loved having sex with him.
He grippe
d my hands and pressed them down on either side of my head. He lay on me and we moved together, panting, kissing, moaning, as the bed shook with the force of his thrusts. I couldn’t think. His body against mine was everything…
And right in the middle of all this passion and heat, I heard the tinkle of a little bell.
Freddy.
There was a little bang on the floor as he leapt down from wherever he’d been in the other room. I didn’t know he was there, in the dark. But for some reason, that faint sound punched through my lust haze—and a shiver ran down my spine.
A really bad shiver.
Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle… click-whoosh. He ran out the kitty door.
And the hairs at the back of my neck stood on end.
My brother’s cat only moved that fast when there was food to be had. Or something to hunt. Or when he was startled. Or—
I looked at the window. The bedroom lights were still blazing down on us… and there we were, in the glass. Reflected back at me in all our sweaty, entangled glory. Me. Xander. Half-naked.
Fucking.
And beyond the glass… something moved in the dark outside.
It could’ve been a tree in the wind.
But.
It totally wasn’t.
“Ohmygod. Someoneintheyard.” It gushed out in one word, and Xander’s eyes met mine. He froze, and the look on my face must’ve said everything I didn’t say.
Cary.
Xander leapt off of me.
What happened next was too fucking surreal to fully process.
I wasn’t even aware of getting up. The next thing I knew, I was trying to stuff my boobs back into my dress as I ran across the backyard. My bra was somehow undone, hopelessly askew beneath by dress. My panties were a lost cause, so I’d left them behind. I was pushing down my skirt to cover myself as I tried to catch up with Xander and not fall in the pool.
The last I’d seen him, he was streaking out the door of the poolhouse with his jeans on but still undone, wrestling his shirt over his head.
“Xander!” I hissed into the dark. “Wait!”
But he didn’t wait.
He was already long gone.
There was no sign of my brother or anyone else in the yard, Freddy included. When I hurried into the house through the open French doors, I could hear Xander in the hall off the foyer, banging on the studio door.
Filthy Beautiful: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #2) Page 34
