He then forced himself to focus on what had proved to be his last mission and, as dispassionately as he could, provided Megan with as many details as he could remember of that day. Megan noticed, however, that his fists were clenched and his eyes filled with tears when he relived the events surrounding the death of SAS Sergeant Major Neil McCauley. It was clear to Megan that Ian had suffered greatly that day, and that he blamed himself for Neil’s death. Her first instinct was to reach out to Ian and try to reassure him that what had happened to Neil wasn’t his fault. She just as quickly realized her words would not convince him, any more than the myriad of other well-meaning friends and family had. She wasn’t a psychologist, but she knew without a doubt that until Ian believed in his own heart he wasn’t responsible for Neil’s death, he wouldn’t be able to start the healing process.
Ian wiped the tears from his face, regained his composure, and took Megan’s hand firmly in his. He looked her squarely in the eye.
“Megan, I care for you so very much, but you have just experienced what I’m capable of. I almost killed you tonight. I think it’s best we not sleep in the same bed tonight, and you should not think of having any kind of a future with me. Until I can get control over my nightmares, I’m not safe to be around, at least not at night. You deserve so much better than a man who has allowed his war experience to break him—possibly irrevocably.” His gaze dropped to the ground. “I’m sorry.”
Megan’s heart broke as she listened to Ian’s declaration. She knew she cared more for Ian than she had ever cared for another man, and she was damned if she would give up on him after one bad experience. She also realized there would be nothing she could say to Ian tonight to change his mind, but she also couldn’t let him continue to think she was willing to just let him go that easily.
“I don’t think you’re irrevocably broken, Ian, and I want you to know I care for you too much to allow you to push me away forever. I’ll agree to sleep separately from you tonight, but this is not over between us. As far as I’m concerned, you are a part of my life, and I’m not giving you up without a fight.”
Ian knew Megan well enough to know it would be futile to argue with her, so he shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and gathered a couple of blankets and a pillow and made himself a bed on the floor of their room. Neither Ian nor Megan slept much that night—each absorbed in their own thoughts.
The next day, Megan thanked her lucky stars she had bought the scarf the previous day. It was the perfect size to cover the bruises around her neck, and she wore it long enough to hide the bruising from the owners of the bed and breakfast.
Ian and Megan exchanged nothing but polite superficial conversation through breakfast at the inn. The ride back to Thomas’s home was no different with neither Ian nor Megan wanting to rehash the events of the previous night. After Ian walked her to the door, she turned and watched him walk back to his car as if he was in a daze. She wished there was something she could do to reassure him she wasn’t going to give up on him, but she knew he wasn’t ready to hear that.
Once in the house, Megan went up to her room, and carefully removed the scarf to get a look at the bruising around her neck. She hadn’t noticed Stephen waiting for her in the parlor when she arrived with Ian. Neither did she hear Stephen follow her up the stairs and stand at the door to her room, waiting for an opportunity to quiz her about her night with Ian.
“My God, Megan! What did that man do to you?” Stephen stalked into Megan’s bedroom and stared at the angry bruises surrounding her neck.
“It’s not what you think, Stephen. Please let me explain.”
“What’s to explain? Before you left the house yesterday with Ian Stafford, you were happy and uninjured. This morning, less than twenty-four hours later, you’re bruised as if someone tried to strangle you, and you’re unhappy. Have I missed anything?”
“Yes,” Megan struggled to come up with an explanation that Stephen would understand without completely lying to him. “Ian and I were confronted by members of O’Reilly’s gang, and Ian defended me. As a result of the fight, I ended up with these bruises. So you see, Ian wasn’t responsible for my injuries. O’Reilly was.”
Stephen took a moment to digest this information. “O’Reilly doesn’t know we’re here in Brighton, or so we thought. How did he know we were here and that you were in Brighton with Ian? I think this proves Stafford is working with O’Reilly. How else would they have known to find us here?”
Megan was ready with an answer. “There must be a police officer in Surrey on the O’Reilly’s payroll. When I went in to testify on Ian’s behalf, there was an officer lurking in the background who heard everything we said about where we were staying with Biscuit here in Brighton. I think it was that man who betrayed us.”
Stephen looked unconvinced. “That’s awfully convenient for Stafford, don’t you think? If you’ll remember, nothing bad happened to us until Ian Stafford appeared in our lives. I for one will be keeping an eye on him.”
Megan sighed. It was times like these that Stephen’s mild autism became a real handicap. She wished she could tell him the whole truth to allay his fears, but he wouldn’t be able to grasp the nuances of PTSD and would only condemn Ian for his unconscious act. Better to leave things here and believe that Ian’s true nature would convince Stephen he was wrong about him. If she ever saw Ian again, that is.
Chapter 15
On the day of the Epsom Derby, in the early morning hours, and to Megan’s surprise, Ian arrived at Thomas’s home to escort the Bradys to Epson as he had originally promised. The Bradys and Ian departed for the one-hour drive to Epsom soon thereafter. Megan, Stephen, and Daniel were in the truck pulling the horse trailer. Ian followed in his uncle’s car. The O’Reillys’ attempt to kidnap Megan in Brighton was three days ago, and things had been quiet since then. Although Ian knew Megan had been surprised to see him after the way they had last left things between them, Ian refused to abandon Megan and her family when he knew they needed his protection. Ian’s senses told him they were not out of the woods yet. The danger to the Brady family was still very real, however, contrary to Ian’s expectations, their trip was uneventful.
After they arrived at Epsom, Daniel led Biscuit to his assigned stall. Once Biscuit was settled, Megan left Daniel and Stephen, so they could prepare for the race. Megan had packed the special outfit complete with fancy, designer hat she had purchased in Brighton for the Derby. She recalled with affection the way Ian had playfully assisted her in picking out the dress, and she mourned the fact that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy wearing it as much now that they had become estranged.
Megan knew she would need a ride to their hotel to change. Ian knew this as well. He approached her and tentatively offered, “Megan, I’m available to take you to the hotel if you like.”
Megan smiled politely, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you, Ian, but that won’t be necessary. I can take our truck. It’s available to use now that we’ve unhitched the trailer.”
Ian frowned. “I don’t think you should be going anywhere alone right now. O’Reilly is still a threat, and regardless of how well you handled yourself in Brighton, you’re vulnerable when you’re on your own. I really should go with you. Also, we should take my car. It’s much less conspicuous than your family’s truck.”
Megan knew he was right. Her shoulders hunched in defeat. “All right. Let me go get my things from the truck. I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes.”
“I’ll go with you. I’m serious about you not being alone, not for any length of time.”
Megan lifted her chin. “I can see the truck from here. It’s only a few meters away. I don’t need you shadowing me everywhere.”
“I beg to differ.” His irritation had become anger at her careless attitude. “Until the Derby is over, you’re my responsibility, and for your safety, you need to follow m
y instructions. I think your father would agree. We can find him and ask him if you like.”
Megan again backed off, realizing her reticence had nothing to do with her safety, but was an expression of her frustration at Ian for treating her as if she were a stranger. “That won’t be necessary. Come along, so we can get this over with.”
Without another word, Megan retrieved her garment bag, shoe box, and hat box and, with Ian’s assistance, carried everything to the car. Ian ensured she was safely buckled in and then entered the driver’s seat. The tense silence between them lasted until they reached the hotel.
Once at the hotel, Ian escorted Megan to her room and told her that he intended to stand guard outside the room until she had finished dressing. She nodded her assent and then went in to shower and change into her Derby outfit. She took more than her usual care to get dressed, making sure everything was perfect before she left the room.
When she emerged, Megan was gratified to see the look of pure admiration in Ian’s eyes. The lavender sheath dress she had purchased on their trip to Brighton clung to her body, flattering her figure just as she intended. To compliment the dress, she wore the matching lavender pumps with three-inch stiletto heels and a white, wide-brimmed hat decorated with purple and lavender feathers. She wore the hat at a jaunty angle to show the style off to perfection. Megan smiled inwardly, knowing she would be attracting all kinds of male attention in this outfit. This was going to be an interesting afternoon.
~ ~ ~
As post time approached, Megan made her way through the crowd to the owner’s box their family had been provided. There was definitely a party atmosphere in the air, and everywhere Megan looked, there were fashionably dressed men and women in a myriad of colors and styles.
Dressing in colorful outfits with outrageously styled hats was a tradition for the women at the Derby, and the men weren’t to be left out. A few went completely in, wearing top hats and tails, while others wore colorful suits in all kinds of colors and patterns.
There was a carnival atmosphere all around the racecourse. The center field area featured rides and booths offering food and all kinds of beverages. There were even helicopter rides for those who could afford the fee. Megan had never seen anything like it.
Ian had eschewed wearing a top hat and tails, and instead, he wore a dark, navy blue suit with a light blue dress shirt which showed off his blond hair and blue eyes. His tie was the same color lavender as Megan’s dress. Megan realized that Ian must have purchased the tie recently, and she was impressed he had remembered the exact shade of the dress she had purchased. Her heart thawed a bit at the care Ian had taken to make his appearance compliment hers. He looked even more handsome in a suit than he did in casual clothes, and she noticed several women looking at him as if he was their next meal. Megan didn’t like that at all.
Thankfully, Ian appeared to be entirely focused on her, which provided Megan a great deal of comfort. As she moved through the crowd, several spectators stopped her to wish her and her family luck in the race. She tried as best she could to remain casual, but her nerves were getting the best of her. When the Queen and the rest of the Royal family entered the grounds, the enormity of this moment struck her. She wavered a bit, and Ian reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him so she wouldn’t fall.
“Are you all right?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.
Megan clung to him for support, then as she regained her equilibrium, she pushed him away and found her seat.
“I’m fine. Just a case of pre-race jitters. Give me a minute to get my breath, and everything will be OK.”
“All right.” Ian seated himself next to her and laid a protective arm around the back of Megan’s chair, his gaze constantly scanning the crowd for any sign of a threat.
It wasn’t long before the horses walked in a parade onto the track and to the post. The crowd was immediately on its feet, roaring its approval. There were twelve horses running in this year’s Derby, and Biscuit was in post position six, right in the middle of the pack.
Megan watched anxiously as Biscuit and the other horses were loaded into the starting stalls. As soon as the stalls were filled, the gates were opened and the horses were off.
Megan strained to see how Biscuit had fared at start. She spotted Stephen in their green and gold Brady Farm colors, holding Biscuit in the middle of the pack. A horse named Navy Admiral was in the lead. From what her father had told her, Navy Admiral was a serious contender, and the horse Dad believed to be Biscuit’s most serious competition. As the horses ran away from the grandstand, Megan looked to the large screen displays to follow their progress. Stephen appeared to be holding Biscuit back, as Megan knew Dad would want him to. However, Navy Admiral appeared to have a significant lead, and Megan began to worry that Biscuit wouldn’t be able to catch him.
But by the time they reached the Tottenham Corner, Stephen was visibly giving Biscuit his head, and the stallion surged forward, making up significant ground on Navy Admiral. There wasn’t much track left, however, and Megan, along with the screaming throng of one hundred thousand others, urged Biscuit to make up ground—and fast.
As if he knew the crowd was rooting for him, Biscuit appeared to find an extra gear and plunged forward, catching Navy Admiral in the home stretch. He drew even, and then passed him with two lengths to spare, crossing the finish line in first place.
Megan screamed with joy and embraced Ian, who appeared to accept the attention. It was such a pleasure to be held in his arms. When she finally released her hold, she felt embarrassed but couldn’t suppress her ecstatic grin.
“We won, Ian! We won! Let’s go down and meet Dad and Stephen in the winner’s circle.”
“Of course, love.” Ian took his position as bodyguard and parted the crowed of well-wishers all wanting to congratulate Megan. Megan was a bit self-conscious as Ian pushed people aside so she could pass. She had to remind herself that it was his job to be rude to anyone who got in their way and to keep her moving, so for that, she was grateful.
Megan beamed as she and her father stood next to Biscuit in the winner’s circle at Epsom, surrounded by cheering admirers trying to catch a glimpse of the spectacular stallion that had come from behind in the last few lengths of the race to win. Even Stephen was grinning with delight although Megan learned from her father that Stephen had created a situation where Biscuit could easily have lost the race.
Dad had instructed Stephen to hold Biscuit back behind the pace setters and preserve his energy until he could make his move. He didn’t expect Stephen to wait quite so long to finally give the stallion his head.
Thankfully, Biscuit seemed to know what he was doing. He ran down the home stretch as if he had to prove something to the other horses in the field; he was the best, and they would eat his dust, learning that very important lesson.
The joy of the moment was dimmed for Megan because Ian wasn’t there in the winner’s circle with them sharing in the moment. She was aware of him on the sidelines, though, constantly scanning the crowd as if he expected O’Reilly’s thugs to appear at any moment. His concern for her family left Megan feeling confused. He said he didn’t want to be with her, yet here he was.
Still, she was relieved to have him there. The St Leger Stakes, the next leg in the British Triple Crown, was two months away. Now that Biscuit had won the Derby, the betting on his winning the St Leger would be furious, providing even more incentive for O’Reilly to attempt to persuade the Bradys to cheat and throw the race.
Megan surmised they would probably need full time professional protection. Ian alone would not be enough to protect them from a determined O’Reilly organization. Could they afford it, even with the combined purses of the Derby and 2000 Guineas? It would be a very expensive proposition.
Chapter 16
The mood in Seamus’s office was grim
. Flanked by his sons, and with the ever-present Michael Collins standing near the door, Seamus glared at his cousin. Colin was again standing before him in disgrace, accompanied by his two henchmen. Seamus didn’t bother to hide his displeasure at Colin for the botched attempt to abduct Megan Brady. Now, only hours after Seabiscuit II had won the Derby, the fact that he had lost the opportunity to not only launder hundreds of thousands of pounds, but also lost the potential pay day of over a million pounds, infuriated him.
Seamus had so counted on Colin being able to kidnap Megan, he had not set up a backup plan. In a situation like the Derby, where the Queen would be in attendance, security would be extremely tight. Normally, Seamus would have had men infiltrate the Epsom staff or find staff members who had vulnerabilities he could use to extort their cooperation and have a plan in place weeks in advance. That he had trusted Colin to execute his plan to that extent, and then the man had failed, made Seamus livid. His expression was grim, and his hands were clenched together in front of him on the desk as if he were in prayer, except his knuckles were white with tension. He glared at Colin, waiting for an explanation and knowing what would have to be done.
Colin stood before him with his two accomplices, again showing signs of being beaten, having been subdued by a mere woman and a washed-out soldier. A message had to be sent to the rest of his men. Relation or not, Colin would have to pay for his mistakes. He had to know that.
“Seamus, please, give me another chance,” Colin begged. Seamus noticed with disgust that tears had formed in the big man’s eyes. “I know I can get the job done,” Colin said. “This last time, the woman tricked me, and the bloke was Special Forces. I’d bet my life on it.”
“Poor choice of words, boyo,” Seamus sarcastically replied. “Cousin or no, two failures in two weeks cannot be condoned.” He turned to his right hand, Michael. “Take him for a long ride, Michael. See that he gets an ocean view.”
Racing Toward Love (Horses Heal Hearts Book 2) Page 11
