Chapter Six: This Is My Friend
For a long time Jeremy didn't know what went on around him. Sometimes he was as hot as the black cooking pot over the fire. Sometimes he shivered as if it were winter. He flung his arms and legs around and mumbled all kinds of things. "Four aces beats a full house," he muttered. Sometimes he cursed loudly. "Ten thousand dollars in gold," he whispered. "I finally got it!" Benny hoped Daniel Connors, the man who owned the cabin, wouldn't understand. Mr. Connors would listen to Jeremy with a funny expression on his face.
Benny hardly talked to Mr. Connors at all. He was so mixed up in his feelings about God and toward Jeremy that he didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell Mr. Connors that Jeremy was a bank robber, but he kept thinking of how Jeremy had taken care of him all this time. He had been so sure that Benny was wrong about God. Events had seemed to prove Jeremy right. Benny didn't know what was right anymore. Jeremy was a thief, but he had been kind to Benny.
He was so smart and so friendly. Benny did not know what he would do if Jeremy died. Every day, Doc Daniel, as the big man called himself, read aloud from the Bible. He didn't seem to mind if no one appeared to be listening. Certainly Jeremy could not hear or understand at first. Benny tried not to pay any attention. He kept busy doing chores, trying to care for Jeremy, doing anything to keep from listening. It was too hard to try to trust God again after everything that had happened.
Benny had only told Doc Daniel that he was an orphan, which he really thought must be true, and that Jeremy had been taking care of him for a long time. Doc Daniel was always kind and gentle and didn't try to force him to talk. He talked a lot himself, though. He knew so much about the Bible that every other thing he said came out as a quote from Scripture. That bothered Benny a lot.
Doc Daniel seldom left the cabin while Jeremy was so sick. People would knock on the door once in a while, but Doc Daniel would always send them quickly away. Finally Jeremy's chills and fever went away for good. Although he was very thin and weak, he began to get better. Benny stayed close to Jeremy most of the time, talking to him, encouraging him to get well.
At first Jeremy could not talk at all, and even when he found his voice returning, it was raspy and almost too soft to understand, nothing like Jeremy's old voice that Benny had liked so much. The day came when the bandages came off Jeremy's face for the last time. Benny ran outside to cry after he had seen the awful scars on Jeremy's face. All his old handsomeness was gone.
A few days later Doc Daniel told them he had to go away for a day or two. Jeremy was strong enough that Benny could look after him alone. Doc Daniel took his big brown and white horse, which he called Neb. He packed his saddlebags with a few books and his Bible and departed.
Jeremy had never spoken to Doc Daniel at all. Apparently he wanted him to think he still couldn't talk. But he had been forced to sit through the Bible readings every day, and when Doc Daniel left Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief.
"We've got to get out of here, Ben," he whispered. He sat up slowly, carefully, and put his feet down on the dirt floor.
"You're not strong enough yet, Jeremy," Benny protested. He wasn't sure if that was the real reason he didn't want to go, but it was true enough. Jeremy grunted and stood on wobbly legs.
"Does that old preacher have a mirror around here someplace?"
"What do you want a mirror for?"
"What do you think?"
"I –I don't think he has one," Benny stammered.
"I think he does," said Jeremy with a scowl. "Is it that bad?"
"Well ... It's bad …. "
"I'm a big boy, Ben. Go and get the mirror. I want to know the worst."
Slowly Benny went to Doc Daniel's "odds-and-ends" cupboard and brought back a little polished metal mirror. After hesitating a moment, he handed it to Jeremy. Jeremy looked at Benny a long time, and then finally put the mirror up in front of his face.
"Well, well," Jeremy said softly. "I think that cougar and me could tie for first place in an ugly contest. And that preacher would come in second. I wish I could wipe off this face like I wiped off those freckles back when the barge went down."
"Well, you can't," Benny said. "And you shouldn't talk about Doc Daniel like that. He saved your life."
"I'd rather be dead than look like this," Jeremy snapped. "What kind of life have I got to look forward to now? Even ten thousand dollars can't fix this. I can't buy the sick, laughing, pitying looks off people's faces when they see me and hear my golden voice. I don't know if there's even anywhere I can hide."
"Well, now you know how we all look to God," Benny shouted at him." The Bible says our sin makes us look like we're covered with 'wounds and bruises and putrefying sores' to God."
Benny realized that all Doc Daniel's Bible reading had gotten through to him anyway. "God says, 'Thou sayest, "I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked.' I'm going to tell Doc Daniel the truth when he comes back."
"You haven't told him yet?"
"No."
"Why not? I figured he'd left to get the law now that I'm well enough to go to jail."
"You were my friend, Jeremy, and I didn't want anything to happen to you. But your being my friend isn't more important than doing what's right. I've got to tell him."
"Ben, I'm too weak to run away, and you already know I'm too softhearted to hurt you. I guess there's no way I can stop you."
Suddenly they heard a noise outside. Hooves pounded on the turf and a shrill whinny brought them to the tiny window.
"Doc Daniel can't be back yet," Benny said.
"That's Black Switch!" Jeremy cried. "Look, there he is. Didn't the preacher say he'd been running around?"
"Yes, but he couldn't catch him." Benny stared at the black stallion pacing out by Doc Daniel's log fence. Jeremy moved slowly toward the door. He spotted his black leather bag with the gold from the bank robbery by the door and scooped it up, staggering with its weight. "He'll come to me. Then I could get away. You'll be safe here with the old man."
"Running can't keep you out of Hell, Jeremy," Benny snapped, pushing in front of Jeremy. "Not even all your money. Nobody'll care what you look like there. It's always dark, and everybody's too busy burning and suffering. It'll be worse than all you went through with that cougar. Much worse. Didn't you learn anything? Does God have to do something worse to make you listen?"
Jeremy shoved him aside. Benny raced to the cabin door. He pushed it open, burst out into the yard, and ran at Black Switch, waving his arms and shouting.
"Go on, get out of here!" Benny cried. Black Switch snorted and tossed his head.
"Switch! Come here, Switch old boy!" Jeremy coaxed. The horse advanced several hesitant steps, rolling his eyes at Benny uneasily. Suddenly he lunged and reared at Benny.
"No, Switch! No!" Jeremy shouted. The stallion's hooves caught Benny in the chest and flung him backward against the cabin.
Benny didn't feel anything at first except that it was hard to breathe. His mind was filled with a sudden thought. "Oh, Dear God," he gasped as Jeremy fell down beside him. He forced the words out so that Jeremy could not help but hear. "Forgive me. You did all this to teach me, too, and I wouldn't listen. You took my parents away. You almost took Jeremy away – He would have gone to Hell because I couldn't have faith in You when things didn't go like I thought they should. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't let Jeremy turn away from You forever."
All of a sudden Doc Daniel was there, trying to make him drink something very bitter. Benny looked up at him in surprise and choked on the bitter stuff, but he swallowed most of it anyway.
"I thought you weren't going to be back for a day or two," Benny said. How funny his voice sounded. Almost as bad as Jeremy's.
"I wasn't," Doc Daniel said with a little smile. "But it's been a week now, Ben. Black Switch knocked you over and cracked your head open on my chimney. Fever set in and we figured we'd lost you a couple of times. Jeremy
went twenty miles to find somebody who could get me back here."
Benny looked around and saw Jeremy sitting at the table, looking very funny dressed in Doc Daniel's too-big clothes. He looked much better, almost as well as ever. Benny was the one who was weak now.
"Thanks, Jeremy," Benny said. Jeremy grunted but didn't say anything. Benny wondered if he was still pretending he couldn't talk. Then he noticed that Jeremy sat with his hand on Doc Daniel's Bible. It was open, and Benny was sure Jeremy had been reading it.
"Well, Doc Daniel was busy tending you, and somebody had to keep up with the daily reading." Jeremy's voice sounded almost normal now. "Ben, I ... I learned what you said God was trying to teach me. I finally learned it. I believe in Jesus Christ now."
Benny was so tired he could only smile. "How did it happen?"
"I wanted to ride off on Switch. I thought, 'I have to get out of here. But I can't leave Ben or he might die.' Then I thought that if you were hurt really badly, and I didn't go get help, you still might die. But you always said that if God wanted you to live, you couldn't die. Then I thought maybe it was like you said, God just brought us together so I could hear the Word. Then I thought maybe God had already given me all the chances I had coming to hear the Word. That meant He could take you. And that might also mean I was all out of chances to listen.'
"I was so run down anyway I wasn't sure I could even ride," Jeremy went on after stopping to take a deep breath. "Oh, Ben, I just fell down on my knees and cried, 'God, this is what Hell is like. Being helpless and separated from You and needing You and not being able to find You. But I'm not in Hell yet, and You're still listening. Please forgive my sins. I believe in Jesus Christ. Let me find help for Ben.'"
Jeremy had to stop again after that. In a minute he went on. "Black Switch came right up to me. He was waiting 'till I got myself straightened out. I didn't know which way to go, but I kept saying that verse you always quoted: 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.' Switch took me straight to a farm where the people knew Doc Daniel. Guess he's the only doctor or preacher in these parts."
"That farmhouse might interest you, Ben," Doc Daniel put in. "It's right outside a town called Osage and it belongs to a fellow named Tom Laughlin and his wife Caroline. And they have a visitor by the name of Abigail Richardson."
"My mother?" Benny gasped. "She's really alive? But how – But – How did you know?" His eyes flew to Jeremy.
"Somebody had to tell him the truth, and I could see you weren't going to," Jeremy snorted. "After all, it was the right thing to do."
"The U.S. marshal happens to be over in Boonville right now," Doc Daniel said. "Was he surprised when I showed him the inside of that big black bag! I wasn't going to keep that around the house once I'd got you patched up and figured you weren't going to die. It was all there, and it was the marshal's unofficial opinion that considering everything, Jeremy should get a pretty light prison sentence."
"Why does he have to go to jail at all?" Benny protested. "He gave back the money."
"Because sin always has a price, Ben," Jeremy said, fingering the Bible under his hand. "It's still a broken law, and the penalty has got to be paid. That's why Jesus had to die on the cross. Sin's got to be paid for."
"I got the marshal to agree to let Jeremy stay in my custody until you were better," Doc Daniel explained to Benny. "But as soon as you're able, we'll take you on over to your Uncle Tom's and Jeremy will have to go to Boonville."
"What'll you do after you get out, Jeremy?" Benny asked.
"I may come back here for awhile," Jeremy shrugged. "I need to learn some more about the Word, and Doc Daniel's a good teacher. I want to learn some doctoring, and he can handle that too. After that I'll head farther west, just like I planned to all along. Only now I'd like to do what Doc Daniel does in these parts –travel around preaching and doctoring. Instead of getting rich out west, I think I'll work on laying up some treasure in heaven."
Benny tried to delay his recovery as long as possible, but by the end of the second week Jeremy had called his bluff and they left Doc Daniel's cabin. When they arrived at the Laughlin's farm, Benny nervously went up and knocked at the door.
The man who opened the door couldn't be anyone but Uncle Tom. He was small and thin and had the same kind eyes that Benny's mother had. Aunt Caroline, plump and smiling, pushed past her husband and folded Benny up in her arms.
Benny looked past them and saw someone come out of a back room. She was thin, pale, and moved very slowly, but Benny's mother smiled through her tears. Benny ran to her and hugged her so tightly she gasped for breath. Finally he pulled away.
"Mother, come on outside," he said. "You have to meet someone."
Doc Daniel and Jeremy had not come inside but stood by the fence with their horses. Jeremy was trying to stay back out of sight behind Doc Daniel. Benny realized that he must feel ashamed of having played the part of Mr. Clancy and being a bank robber, and also that he must not want Benny's mother to see the scars from the cougar attack. But Benny didn't care. He grabbed Jeremy's hand and pulled him forward.
"Mother," he said, "this is Jeremy. This is my best friend."
Benny and the Bank Robber Page 7
