by Jamie Knight
“She’s not my wife.”
I couldn’t help it — my heart skipped a beat.
“I’m sorry. Yes. I gather you two are no longer married. Okay. Umm. Ms. Roberts, then. Did she let you know that I had called? Because I haven’t heard back from either of you and I would think—”
“She told me. I asked her to deal with it because I’m out of town and she wanted to share custody of Kylie so that entails, you know, dealing with calls from the school.”
“Right. Great. Can we talk in person?”
“Olivia, what is this about? I have a game tomorrow. I’m in Boston. Just tell me what’s going on.”
Gosh, you are so harsh, I thought.
But I didn’t say it because I didn’t want to seem vulnerable.
Not even an ‘I hope you are well too.’
Nothing.
Anyway.
Focus on the professional, not the personal.
“Kylie – yes – it’s about Kylie. She is acting out. Saying she misses her mommy and even that she doesn’t have one. She’s taunted and hit the other children.”
“She’s six.”
“Indeed. Indeed, she is six. But none of my other six-year-olds are doing these things.”
“Are you saying she is causing problems?”
“No. no. She is lovely. The sweetest girl. But she is becoming withdrawn even as one of the other girls has tried to no avail to comfort her. I’m concerned. For your daughter, Marvin. I am simply concerned.”
There was a pause, during which he said nothing.
“Please, may I schedule a parent teacher conference with you and your wife?”
“Again, I’m not married to Kylie’s mom. I never have been.”
And suddenly I was right back in high school. It was butterflies and all the possibilities of Does he like me? Will he ask me out – all those same feelings came right back.
I had to get it together. I focused hard and tried to fight my feelings.
“I’m sorry. Can you accompany Kylie’s mom to a parent-teacher conference? Please. It is incumbent upon you – and forgive me if I overstep here, Marvin, given our once intimate relationship and now estrangement – but it’s incumbent upon you to step in as a parent!”
The phone went silent again. So, I hollered.
“Hello? If you hung up on me again—”
“Please don’t scream in my ear. I am right here, Olivia.”
And when he said my name, in that whispered tone like he used to, I could smell him again, the man steam. It came right back.
I whispered to myself.
“Steam.”
“What?”
“Scream. Scream. I am sorry; I didn’t mean to scream in your ear.”
Whew, good save. Or at least, the best I could do under pressure. I’m such an idiot.
“Listen, with all due respect, I wasn’t there when she acted out,” he said, after another pause, undoubtedly to consider the lunacy that had just come out of my mouth. “For all I know, it could have been your lack of monitoring or maybe she doesn’t take you seriously. I know that when she’s in my presence she never acts like that.”
“With all due respect, Marv— Mr. Ward, how often are you with her?”
This time the phone went silent, but I could hear him breathing. I said nothing. As the seconds churned by, however, I was hanging onto that breath, the same breath that used to be on the other end of the phone when neither one of us wanted to get off the phone in all night chat sessions.
It was that very same breath. My heart pounded as if it was being forced to by an outside pump. I tried to inhale silently so he didn’t hear me, but I imagined he probably could.
I refused to speak first. Just then Mr. Eighty-Year-Old chain smoker stepped into the lounge and lit up at the exact time I inhaled. I choked, rather loudly. I choked uncontrollably until water was coming out of my nose and eyes.
“Olivia? Hello?”
“Yeah. Sorry. Something went down wrong.”
Ward won again. He always did. I was determined to not break, damn him.
“I’m fine,” I quickly said, feeling embarrassed. “So, can we arrange this? I need to get to my students, one of whom is your beautiful little girl.”
“Let me get back to you, okay? I may not be able to go. But I’ll send my nanny, Sasha, if I can’t make it. Either will most certainly be able to act as proxie. I need to work and that means playing in games. And preferably, winning them.”
“What? You’re going to send a nanny to a parent/ teacher meeting? Since when does being a parent allow for sending a ‘proxy’ to these things? I’m sorry, but I think this is important and once again, who are these women you’re wanting to send in place of a parent? With all due respect, Mr. Ward…”
“Please don’t call me Mr. Ward. It’s weird, Olivia. We’ve seen each other—”
“Okay! Call me back when you decide.”
I hung up fast. What a complete jerk off.
He was back to being his own self, and I remembered the fights we used to have, even if they were borne of passion. He was an absolute Cretan if there ever was one. I completely abhorred him.
The principal strolled by again.
My first thought was, don’t you work?
But I held my tongue.
“Olivia, please. Is there something I can help you with today? I can’t imagine six-year-olds are getting you this peeved.”
I walked over to Old Mr. Black Lung and took the cigarette out of his mouth and dropped it in my sprite.
“No, just him. This is a no smoking zone.”
I stormed out.
What had started off as a normal Tuesday had quickly turned sour, all thanks to my ex.
Chapter 11
Olivia
“Well, so catch me up, girlie. What is going on with you, work wise, life wise? I haven’t seen you in – what’s it been? – a whole week. That’s a record.”
Roxanne twirled her curly hair and sat back in the wiry chairs at the Cucina Rosa, our favorite Mexican restaurant hang-out. I winced a little as I thought she was going to snap the chair in half — she was leaning so far left as she sucked back her margarita.
“Hah. Girl, be careful. Sit in the chair, will you?”
“Okay, teach. So, come on. Tell me. What’s up? I’m dying over here.”
“I haven’t had any hot sex, if that’s what you’re wanting to know,” I told her. “In fact, I haven’t had any sex at all. Poor me.”
Roxanne giggled. I looked to see what she was laughing at behind me and it was a greasy moustache-laden waiter who I assumed had heard all that. I blushed.
He croakily asked, “Would you like another drink, Miss?”
“Um no. Thanks. How much of that did you hear?”
He blushed and hurried away without answering me – although I suppose his reaction was my answer. Roxanne and I broke out into fits of laughter. She was definitely my ride or die girl.
I remembered when I first lost my virginity to Marvin. I was so scared and excited I called her. It was so perfect that I felt like talking about it to anyone else might ruin the special magical memory.
She was the only one I wanted to tell. I had always planned for it to be him and then it was, and I told her every juicy detail.
“You really had sex on the kitchen table for your very first time?” she said, with a laugh.
“Well, yeah,” I told her. “And it was great!”
“You dirty girl,” she said, laughing louder. “But seriously, you have got to have sex in a bed next time. Do it the traditional way and see how you like it.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
So, two days before Thanksgiving I told him I had a huge surprise for him after my mom and I were to attend brunch – it was our tradition. He said he had a home game at six o’clock, so I said great, first meet me at the Ritz Centennial, a fancy hotel. It would be just him and me.
He showed up at two o’clock and I was in the room wearing
a really fancy lingerie set. He showed up with champagne and chocolates. It was November of my junior year.
I remembered thinking that it was all perfect. Exactly how I had originally planned it, even though how it had first happened was also amazing.
The room was beautiful.
He was the man I loved.
It couldn’t be better.
We each grabbed some cups from the coffee maker and poured the champagne. I thought, this is good, I probably should be a little relaxed.
I wasn’t – relaxed, that is – but I began to feel tipsy.
He bent down over me and began to kiss my stomach. Back then, Marvin could touch my thumbnail and I quivered. So, this really drove me over the edge.
“You’re trembling,” Marvin had said. “Is this okay? I want to make sure that I’m gentler this time.”
He seemed to sense that I was trying to re-create our first time, to be more traditional. But really, I was just nervous. I had actually liked the hot kitchen sex.
“Yes. It’s perfect,” I told him.
He took off my thong. The room was cold on my skin. The air hitting my exposed body just made me hotter for him. I could feel my wet pussy throbbing for him.
I leaned back. He took off my bra.
I noticed his cock in his sweat pants was hard. I sat up and pulled off his sweats and his sweatshirt.
He moaned just a little bit. I leaned over like a school girl and looked up at him naughtily while I licked his cock.
“Oh, Liv. Yeah. That’s what I like it and you know it. Good girl. You’re a bad girl even when we’re doing this a different way.”
I began to suck him off, trying to control how much cock I took in my mouth, so we could go nice and slow and make it last a long time. So, I held the shaft and worked his penis around my mouth while I sucked.
He was groaning. I knew I was doing well. But I was nervous. Then, just as I thought I had him, he was so close to ejaculation, he pulled his penis out of my mouth and turned me over.
He laid me down and got on top of me, traditional missionary style. I loved being able to look into his eyes.
He slipped his huge cock into me and my pussy automatically clenched around it, wanting him to fill me and stuff me full like he did in my kitchen. There was no denying that I was a dirty, naughty girl with him – and I loved it that way, just like he did.
He thrust his cock in and out of me. We both looked down to watch it slide into my slippery pussy each time.
“Fuck yeah,” he said. “That’s so hot. Watching my hard cock pound your tight little pussy. Oh, Liv. Oh, Liv.”
Then suddenly he hit a sensitive, erogenous spot and I was writhing. I didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or moan because it hurt so good. I knew I was having a great orgasm, but I was afraid.
I wanted to control it. But he made me want to let go of myself and be as freaky as I wanted to be.
“Marvin. I’m cumming. I’m cumming on your big cock as my pussy is all wrapped around it.”
Suddenly I couldn’t hold it back; my orgasm was in charge. Olivia had left the planet. As it swelled, I became loud and wild. I wanted it to continue.
I began moaning and calling out his name, after having talked dirty just like he always did. I was surprising myself with what a bad girl I could be for him – I think I was even surprising him.
“Unh, Marvin, fuck me. Harder. Fuck me hard. Do it. Unh. Yes, Fuck. Fuck. Oh, fucking ram your cock – harder.”
“It’s so hot when the little virgin whose cherry I popped talks to me like my little slut,” Marvin growled.
“Yeah, I’m your slut, Marvin. Your little slutty virgin. Oh my God. I’m cumming. Unh. Marvin. Unh. Yes. Oh God! Fuck me, Fuck me! Harder. Yes. Harder.”
And finally, we both came together. I moved him off me and rolled over – spent from a physical sensation I was unprepared for, to put it mildly. He laid back, sweaty.
My hair was wet as well, from perspiration, my mouth, dry. The two of us cuddled in bed, with his muscular arm around the back of my neck. Then he turned to me.
“I loved that,” he said. “It was sweet. But it was hot.”
“It sure was,” I told him.
Roxanne was right, I thought. Doing it the traditional way brought a whole new perspective to our love making.
“Shit, I gotta go,” he said, jumping up.
“Oh, yeah. Your game. I love you, babe.”
He turned over and went into the bathroom. When he emerged, he was half way suited up for the game. He smelled good, like soap. He kissed me deeply and passionately.
“See you at the game,” he told me. “I love you, too. And thank you. That was so hot.”
I smiled as he walked out. I felt amazingly close to him. And then I called Roxanne to fill her in, and to thank her for the advice.
Chapter 12
Olivia
Roxanne was even more tipsy now, I noticed, as I returned to the moment. I couldn’t blame her, really. I mean, I knew how much she had going on in her busy life as a lawyer, and yet she was always there for a drink or a good cry if I needed her.
For a second, I was right back to losing my virginity and had spaced out. She waved at me, flailing a bit.
“Girlie? Where are you? This ain’t about work, I can tell. You are somewhere far away. Oh no, did I miss your mom’s anniversary? Oh, my God. I have it written down. I always order flowers to the cemetery—”
“No, no Roxie. It’s not about my mom.”
“Oh, good. My goodness, I have been so caught up with my life — You know, starting the law practice with Ryan and planning the wedding and it’s just, well, it’s nuts. So, I’m a little, well, Ryan and I are a little — Anyway, I don’t have to explain that to you. What’s up, then? Everything good? You don’t seem like yourself.”
I looked at my friend of so many years and pondered how to reveal this news to her without having her go where I knew she was going to want to go – I could never hide anything from her. So, I just blurted it out. It was out of order and discombobulated, but I blurted it all, anyway.
“Remember when I lost my virginity? And then you said I had to do it the traditional way, before I could count myself as really having lost it? So, then Marvin and I did it again. And it was even better the second time, even though the first time was hot, too. And you came right over to the—”
And we both said in unison while laughing…
“The Ritz Centennial!”
She became suddenly very serious.
“Yeah? You okay, girl? Oh no, are you having thoughts of Marvin? Still can’t get over him?”
“Huh? Will you slow down?” I said, to stall from answering.
Really, I was thinking, How does she always know what’s up with me?
I nodded to the greasy, moustache laden waiter who was headed over again. I tapped my empty margarita to indicate that I would have another.
“No,” I finally answered. “I’m not okay, I guess. I am… I was just thinking about that.”
“About losing your virginity? Girl, I know we’re getting old, but what a thing to reminisce about. That was, what? Ten years ago.”
The waiter dropped another drink in front of me and I sucked the straw for dear life. I felt like I really needed it.
“Yeah, something like that,” I mumbled.
“I see. Hmmm.”
She looked at me, as if waiting while also silently prodding me for more.
“So, why all the focus on that time period and that, uh, momentous occasion, now, after so much time has passed?”
“Yeah. I, um, I recently found out that one of the little girls in my class, Kylie… she is Marvin Ward’s daughter,” I finally confessed.
“What?”
Her jaw hung open. Then she got it.
“So, this is about Marvin. I was right. It always comes back to Marvin.”
“What? No. No, I’m so over him. I just have to deal with him because of some issues with his daughter. He�
��s in some relationship or something. Well, the daughter is his, but, well, he’s not with the mother, but—”
“Oh no, you can’t even spit it out without stammering,” she says, shaking her head. “This is all about Marvin. He is the one you can’t get over.”
“What? No! I have so moved on.”
“Then why are we still talking about Marvin?”
She had me on the ropes. She always had a way of pinning me. But I couldn’t allow it. Not because I wanted to hold anything back from her, but because I simply wasn’t ready to face it myself.
“Roxanne, no, I am only telling you about this because I recently had an incident with the little girl and I have to call in her parents. And of course, that means seeing Marvin. Ya know, so I was just reminiscing. That’s all. I mean, it’s going to be awful and awkward. But that’s really the extent of it.”
I sucked more of my drink and looked away. I was a terrible liar, but especially to Roxie.
“Uh huh. Well, I mean, you’re a professional, a damn good teacher. And he is a jerk – Marvin. Or at least he always was and I’m sure he hasn’t changed much. You know what they say about leopards and their spots and all. You’ll handle it. I’m not sure what the issue is beyond that. Except that – as a big of a jerk as he is…”
She trailed off, as if not wanting to say anything further. But then she did, anyway. Because she could never hold back anything around me. Just as I couldn’t hold back anything around her.
“Well, I mean, come on, the jock, hot as hell, the bad boy, your first… Why else would you lose it every time his name comes up?” she continued.
She raised her eyebrows at me as if waiting for an answer, but I had no good answer to give her.
“But listen, you say there is nothing,” she finally continued. “So, okay. Then you are a big girl, put your big girl panties on, face the asshole like you know you must for the sake of his kid, your student, and move on. I’m not sure he’s worth the energy it takes to consume this delicious margarita. Come on, you can a handle a little awkward tension. He attended your mother’s service. I’m sure this isn’t worse—”
