by Lily Hayden
He cut off her thoughts before she could answer.
“You can go next.”
He drove a slow lap around the track, letting her take in the corners and the bends. She watched him move through the gears, taking in his technique with a critical eye. She was transfixed with the track, committing the turns and the straights to memory. Finally, he completed the loop and revved up the engine, ready.
Shauna felt the car’s power pull her back into her seat as they took off around the circuit. She felt herself involuntarily flexing her hands and her feet as she imagined how it would feel to push the prestige vehicle through its paces. Her eyes flickered between the dashboard, watching the car easily push the one-hundred-mile mark and keep soaring, and back to the track as it whistled by them. They arrived back at their starting spot and Shauna couldn’t help but laugh out loud with delight.
Aaron looked at her; his dark eyes twinkling with pleasure.
“You want to-?”
“Yes!” She didn’t even wait for him to finish and they swapped places.
She adjusted her position and ran her hands over the controls. She could feel her adrenaline settling as she summoned the cool control that came so naturally to her behind the wheel of a high-performance vehicle.
She tested the revs of the engine and stared ahead with steely determination. She pushed her foot down gently and felt the heady rush as the beast took off. The roar of the engine both soothed and excited her and she adapted quickly to the unfamiliar car, finding its rhythm easily. She let her eyes flick to the counter. Sixty miles. One-hundred. One-twenty.
“Easy.” Aaron sounded a little nervous and Shauna could have laughed if she didn’t understand his legitimate concern for his ridiculously expensive plaything.
She stared ahead. One-thirty. The engine roared and she eased off to take the corner, feeling the car cling to the curves with miraculous precision. The straight opened up ahead of them. This was her chance.
She accelerated and let the car do the work, feeling an explosion of elation as she reached the perimeters of its top speed. She reluctantly reeled it back in as another turn whistled closer and she finally drew to a stop; her heart hammering with joy against her ribs.
“That. Was. Amazing.” She sighed happily, still holding the wheel, reluctant to let go.
“Wow!” Aaron looked impressed. “You’re seriously good.”
“Thank you.”
They took turns completing laps and then Aaron went to find his friend, who owned the track, returning with a Lamborghini.
“Oh my God!” Shauna hurried out of the Porsche to inspect the car. “This is the best day ever!”
The evening was starting to draw in, and Shauna craned her neck to take one last look at the race track as they left.
“I’m so sorry!” Aaron exclaimed as they drove out of the electric gate. “I completely forgot. You haven’t eaten. You must be hungry.”
“No, honestly.” Shauna shook her head, still buzzing from the experience. “That was, like, my dream date!”
She blushed suddenly, realising what she’d said, but Aaron didn’t seem to notice.
“I know we still need to talk about the Internship.” He said. “I’m so sorry about the mix-up. It turns out it was an admin error. I spoke to Sylvie about putting you with Joe, and we both agree it probably wasn’t the best move, but she had some, uh, legitimate concerns about Armand, which are pretty wise so…”
“Concerns?” Shauna frowned at his words and Aaron grimaced in response.
“Mmmm.” He brushed over her question. “So, you can join Rebecca and the other intern next week. I hope that’s ok.”
“Great.” She smiled politely.
“And, uh,” Aaron kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead of them. “If there’s any problems with, uh, any of the staff…”
“Problems?” Shauna felt this whole evening was suddenly turning weird.
“Yep.” He pulled the car to a stop outside the address she had given him. “Anything at all. Just let us know.”
He turned the engine off and hesitated.
She felt her default awkward, self-consciousness rising back to the surface and she fumbled with her belt, unsure how to part ways.
He reached over and covered her hand, gently pulling the belt away. She reacted before she could stop herself, turning towards him, her eyes wide with confusion. In her disorientated daze, she missed the part where he moved his face across the narrow space and pressed his lips lightly against hers. She froze for a moment, unsure if this was really happening, but the adrenaline was still floating through her system, unabsorbed, and she felt her lips part of their own accord and gently, experimentally, kissed him back.
It was soft, and it was hesitant. There was none of the heady buzz of Armand, but it was pleasant and enjoyable. His hand still held hers and it was the gentle comfort she had craved these past two weeks. After a moment or two, she pulled away.
“I hope that wasn’t overstepping the mark?” He asked quietly.
Shauna smiled at his chivalry.
“It wasn’t.”
She reached for the door before he could go through the fuss of insisting on opening it for her and she bent back into the car to look at him.
“I had a great night.” She smiled, meaning it. “Thank you.”
She almost danced back to her lodging, and as she sunk down onto her bed, she closed her eyes, waiting for the memories of the evening to fill her brain.
Flashes of the racing rolled past her mind and she sighed happily. Next the tender touch of lips on hers, flooding her stomach with longing, zoomed into the cinema screen in her head, but before she could relax into the sensation, the fuzzy background started to change. The memory was so intense that she could feel the hard muscles of a chest against her hands, and the lips suddenly belonged to Armand Landry. She paused the image, for a fraction of a second, in the way that can only be done with a day dream, but the longing that had started to build deep in the pit of her stomach and more pressingly, in the hot flesh between her legs, was too powerful to override and she let the dream take her where it wanted. Armand was sweeping her up against his messy desk, and her hand slipped underneath her dress and found her aching spot.
She worked her fingers, circling the tension, as her mind rolled images of Armand pushing up her dress and entering her roughly. She rolled onto her stomach, suddenly seeking the pressure to push her desire further, grinding her hips in expert rhythm with her probing fingers. In her head, she could see his dark eyes, glazed over with desire, and that was the push she needed to plunge into her own tsunami of pleasure.
First Times
A high-pitched, persistent beep dragged Ella from her deep sleep and she snaked one arm slowly from her safe, warm cocoon, fumbling blindly for her phone to silence the alarm before it fully roused her into the land of the living. Her fingers connected with something and then there was a thud as she knocked it from the nightstand to the floor. The wailing continued, unphased by its tumble and, defeated, she prised her eyes open. Flinging off the sheet, she leaned as far over the bed as she could without falling out and retrieved the phone, swiftly switching off the hideous noise.
Once her eyes were open, it was too late, and she knew that, no matter how hard she tried, she was now wide-awake.
“Ugggghhhh!” She groaned, in annoyance, wriggling back against the pillows that stayed uncomfortably flat no matter how many times she tried to plump them.
The motel room, that had seemed fit for purpose when she’d first arrived here, full of enthusiasm and excitement about her summer in Texas, was now depressing and basic. She hated the dull, bland colours and the too-soft bed that was impossible to get comfortable in. The faucet in the bathroom dripped, the air-conditioning was noisy, and the shower didn’t have a temperature higher than lukewarm.
It was exactly the same motel room, but Ella had lost all of the enthusiasm and excitement of her first week. A natural optimist, bubbly and bright,
Ella had never felt so flat and dull and negative. Work had been a drag. She had no idea what had changed and there wasn’t anything tangible, so it wasn’t like she could say something. It wasn’t like the girls, Joelle, Macy and Sawyer, and their boss, Jessica, didn’t speak to Ella anymore. They were polite, but their conversations fell quiet when she walked over, and they seemed to be deliberately slipping off for lunch in pairs, giving Ella the vibe that they didn’t want to invite her. She’d overheard Joelle making weekend plans and had waited for the topic to come up before finally caving and asking them if they fancied doing something, but they’d all been quick to decline with apologetic smiles.
“Maybe we can do something next week?” Macy had smiled.
They’d all made affirmative comments, but in tones that suggested they had no intention of doing anything with her.
God, it felt shit.
Ella had felt like such a loser, eating lunch alone at her desk. She’d taken to leaving the office and wandering around the streets, just for something to do. She was literally counting down the hours until she could leave, but coming home to this empty, stark room was equally depressing. She’d tried to pluck up the courage to go out to a bar or to eat somewhere that didn’t do takeaway multiple times, but she just wasn’t brave enough.
Today was Saturday and she’d had grand plans to stay asleep for as long as possible, but she’d stupidly forgotten to clear her alarm, so that was that plan scuppered. Frustrated, she hopped out of bed and switched on the coffee-maker, before climbing into bed to flick through her social media.
The only positive was there was only another week before Caleb was home. He’d been gone for almost two weeks, travelling around Europe, which looked amazing. He’d been posting loads and she’d kept a razor-sharp eye on any new connections or any females ‘liking’ his posts, but there was nothing to suggest he’d met anyone else. She smiled at the thought. She was so used to dating sex-crazed jocks that she still couldn’t get used to trusting a guy, like she knew she could trust Caleb. Of course, he wouldn’t cheat on her. He had taken an oath of celibacy. It would be like cheating on God. She laughed out loud at that thought, cheered by the thought of seeing him and the smell of freshly-brewed coffee starting to permeate the room.
She took her mug and sat up in bed, browsing through his pictures. He looked adorable in front of the Eiffel Tower; his dark hair flopping over one eye as he grinned that gorgeous smile at the camera. There was another one of him looking handsome outside the Colosseum. It was a shame, with the time difference and the sketchy phone signal, that they had barely had chance to speak. She was really missing him. It was the thought of him coming back to Texas next week that was getting her through the boredom and the loneliness.
She drank her coffee, before checking the time difference wondering if Caleb would be in the hotel with internet signal. She sent him a message anyway and then, unable to lounge in bed any longer, decided that today she would conquer her fear and do something interesting alone.
After a tepid, unenjoyable shower, she dressed casually in cut-off shorts, sneakers and a cute, little plaid shirt tied at the waist to show off her tanned, flat stomach. She had confided some of her woes to Taylor and Shauna in the group-chat, and they had both urged her to get out and about this weekend, and she didn’t want to let them down.
San Antonio was a really cool place, she mused impartially, as she strolled along the river, taking in the crowds of people, sipping drinks under the colourful parasols. It was still early, but the sun was already blazing, and she knew that before long even the most weather-hardened Texans would be retreating to the air-conditioned interiors of the bars and restaurants. She walked on; the ever-present prickle of self-consciousness at being alone weighing down her enjoyment of the walk. She turned abruptly and began to retrace her steps. This was no fun on her own. She just felt even more lonely seeing couples and families walking together, enjoying each other’s company.
I’ll come back when Caleb is back. She promised herself, trying to lift her woeful mood.
She pictured herself strolling along the river walk, hand-in-hand with Caleb, and felt her lips start to tug up at the corners in an involuntary smile. They could get brunch in one of the cute little cafes and then catch that movie she’d been dying to see.
She’d mentioned the movie to Jessica and the girls at the office, during the first week when Ella was still flavour-of-the-week. It was a chick-flick, not Caleb’s kinda movie at all, but Ella was pretty sure that she wouldn’t be receiving an invite from any of them any time soon, so Caleb would have to suck it up and accompany her.
The thought of the office clique and the way they had gradually started to freeze her out caused the beginning of a smile to evaporate as quickly as it had appeared. Ella felt her chest tighten a little as the accompanying anxiety returned. God, last time she had felt anxiety like this, she had been trying out for the Cheer Squad in middle school. Angry indignation swiftly bubbled up replacing the fluttery angst.
Fuck those bitches! Ella’s inner voice kicked in. Who the fuck are they to make you feel like shit? You’re a grown-ass woman. You want to go to see a movie? You want to go to a bar alone? You do it, girl!
With the flame of anger came a spark of motivation that she’d been desperately missing. She picked up her pace. A bearded guy, sipping on a coffee, lowered his shades, checking her out as she passed. She felt her body respond as if on auto-pilot; just a slight little twist in her hips, knowing it made her ass look good. She smiled to herself, a self-assured, knowing pout that played on her lips long after the bearded guy was far behind her.
She walked into a café, pushing herself inside before she had time to get nervous about it. She ordered coffee and a muffin. She flirted with the waiter. She took her time, forcing herself to savour her first solitary dining experience. She almost laughed at herself. For years, eating alone in public had been her absolute worst nightmare, but she had finally done it and she’d survived. She thanked the waiter, discreetly scrunching up the napkin with his number on it as she left the café and continued on her walk. How funny that one of the things she had been most scared of wasn’t scary at all. She knew what she had to do next.
Today was going to be a day of firsts!
She watched a movie alone. Again, a little nerve-wracking as she stepped into the foyer and ordered her ticket, but, in reality, super enjoyable.
She headed back to her motel room buzzing with her progress. She even sent Shauna and Taylor a quick message. They knew about her irrational fear. They had sat through many movies and brunches just because they knew she wouldn’t go alone.
She called Shauna and then Taylor, but neither answered. Unphased, she treated herself to a nap, waking up a couple of hours later feeling refreshed and full of energy for the first time in weeks. Ella bounced up out of bed, ignoring the fleeting pang of disappointment when she checked her phone and still hadn’t got a reply from Caleb.
“Never mind.” She told her reflection. “He’ll be back next week.”
She hopped into the shower, dressed and curled her hair. She felt a tiny flutter of nerves as she prepared to take her solo experience to the next level, but this time she embraced it, letting the butterflies blossom into excitement instead of apprehension.
Ella headed on over to a restaurant that she’d driven past on the main strip. She ate a delicious steak and celebrated her newly-found independence with a cocktail. Feeling bold and empowered, she ordered another drink. She’d leave her car here, get an Uber to a bar. She felt her determination start to waver a little and to boost herself, she had another two drinks. Alcohol did its job, taking the edge from her nerves and she felt relaxed and confident as she finally strutted into a bar later that evening.
It wasn’t long before she made some new friends at the bar and, by nine o’clock, she was having a whale of a time. She waved to some of her new friends and headed off to find the restroom. Safely in the cubicle, she fished in her purse for her p
hone. She had missed calls from Shauna and Taylor. She smiled happily. That made her feel loved. She quickly sent them both messages and reached for the stall door to pull it open when she heard a familiar voice.
“Oh my God!” A female voice cackled. “Did you see who was on the dancefloor?”
Even in her fluffy alcohol haze, Ella felt her blood run cold. She knew that voice.
“Oh my God! Yes!” Came the equally-loud reply. “Fran from Legal saw her earlier watching a movie on her own! I told you she was weird!”
“You were soooooo right, Macy!” Joelle bitched in response.
Ella stepped back from the door, feeling all her bravado die away with their words. All the enjoyment and excitement of the day drained away like their words had pulled the plug from her and she leaned against the wall of the bathroom stall, willing her legs not to crumple and her eyes not to cry.
She tried to remind herself that she wasn’t a little girl. She should march out there, head held high and tell those bitches to go to Hell! But everybody has their limits, and this was just one battle too many after a day of pushing herself out of her comfort zone and so she stayed, humiliated and hurt, huddled in the stall until she was certain they had left. She darted from the restroom, head down, straight through the bar and out into the parking lot. She tucked herself into the shadows, feeling her chest tightening with fear that she’d be seen and forced into a confrontation that she just wasn’t ready for yet. With trembling fingers, she ordered an Uber on her phone app and it was only when she was safely in the stranger’s car did she begin to feel like she could breathe again.
She got out of the car in the motel parking lot. She’d already paid the driver through the app, and it wasn’t until she opened her purse at the door that she realised her keys were missing. Annoyed, she walked around the building to the motel reception.
Closed.
Fuck’s sake! Was this really happening? She stamped her foot. Anger was easier than self-pity. She racked her brain, trying to recall where she had last seen them.
